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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (April 7, 2017)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, APRIL 7, 2017 FEATURES Overbearing and intrusive Dear Annie: Our 39-year-old son our relationship with our daughter- is married with three children. Ever in-law. My husband and I support a since he got married, he has been loving family relationship, and when dealing with overbearing and intru- asked for advice on family matters, we give it. But we do not interfere to sive in-laws. My son and daughter-in-law were her parents’ degree, because neither house hunting a few years ago, and of us was raised that way. The issue now is that there was a home going up DEAR our son’s job is relocating for auction they wanted to him to a different state. His check out. They mentioned ANNIE employer will allow him time it in her parents’ company. to visit his new job location Before the auction took and look for housing. My place, her father, “Steve,” son secured a Realtor in the had purchased the home for area to start the house-hunt- them to live in. They might ing process. My daughter-in- not have purchased the house law started looking online at after seeing it, as it was ter- Lane homes in this city. She found mite-infested, had no work- Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. a home that she liked online ing fireplaces and had a roof and told my son she wanted that needed replacing. They used the money they made selling it because it had all the right ameni- their previous home for upgrades for ties. He insisted that they wait till they this home. Steve would not allow could look at the houses in person and them to secure a loan for the home to find one that really met all their needs. Our son notified us today that pay him back, so the house remains Steve purchased the home our daugh- in his name. Our son has a job with which he ter-in-law found online, sight unseen, can support his family, a great head for them to live in. This behavior is on his shoulders to make great fam- not allowing our son to be a husband, ily decisions and good credit, so he partner in decision-making and father can get loans at the bank on his own to his children. Steve grants all of his without any help. His wife goes along daughter’s wishes. We want to sup- with whatever her parents say or want port our son because we know he is her to do. It is causing strife in the hurting. What advice would you rec- marriage, plus it’s putting strain on ommend we give him in this troubling time? — Concerned Parents Dear Concerned: Wow. I had to pick my jaw up off the floor a cou- ple of times while reading your letter. I can’t imagine what Steve’s financial situation must be like, to give away houses like candy. But I digress. You’re right that this Daddy-to- the-rescue dynamic is not conducive to a healthy marriage. But from the sound of it, your son hasn’t expressed any of these frustrations to his wife. That lack of communication is even more toxic than intrusive in-laws. Marriage counseling would offer him a safe space to express his feelings to his wife. And given that she’s grown up thinking her dad’s behavior is nor- mal, it might take an objective third party to help her see that it’s not. Dear Annie: A recent letter writer, “MM,” said she has lost confidence in doctors because they don’t seem to be knowledgeable in any field other than their own. My husband, an oph- thalmologist, has recommended that patients see a dermatologist immedi- ately for skin abnormalities and has even sent patients directly from his office to the hospital after checking their carotid artery. I’m sure that lots of specialty physicians take the time to keep up with the world of medi- cine and that her experience is not the norm. — Sarasota, Fla. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE 3C TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Maybe you forgot something simple. Did you? Such good news. All you have to do is figure out what you missed, supply it, and then put one foot in front of the other. This will be easy! happening. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). This is an incredibly special situation. Happiness is seeing it in the way that happy people do. Can you see it that way? Walk around it. You probably can. It’s a matter of perspective. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Eventually, all those who stand on the pedestals will have to come down. That’s just the way it is. They will, at some point, need to do the inelegant, creaturely things. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Your need to please is strong these days. Who else will be pleased when you get to the goal? Tie other people into your plans. This is how great things will get accomplished. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Laugh- ing leads to laughing. This is the secret and the remedy. Don’t wait until you’re feeling bad to look for the funny. This is not hard. Comic treasures are every- where when you’re looking for them. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Don’t give your trust or your money to an unproven entity. What people say doesn’t matter at all unless it’s backed up by what they do. Time will tell. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’ve earned your network, one relationship at a time. The people you know trust and respect you. You have connections that another person wants, but some relationships are nontransferable. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Make quick de- cisions. Navigate the day. This is the kind of scene that you probably invented, and thereby should un-invent in the moment it doesn’t suit you. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). If there isn’t a deadline, the job won’t be accom- plished. Also, how about involving a person and setting a date? Time and place stamps matter. By a lot. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). How will the thing work? Not like you want it to. This is where compassion comes in. Someone will be your hero in a strange moment. You don’t want this, and yet it’s SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’ll get someone to open up by making it feel safe for him or her to do so. Stay pleas- antly neutral and make it known that you won’t judge. Soon the truth will come out. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Accom- plishments need to be acknowledged immediately. You’ll receive timely compli- ments, and they will have great power. The same words said in an untimely fashion wouldn’t have counted. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (APRIL 8). Your belief is profound. You will make it happen. Your life will explode, fanta- sy-style, in 2018. Up until then, you need to be extremely vigilant, keeping up with your commitments and being strongly self-possessed. Your lucky numbers are: 9, 45, 39, 29 and 44.
