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Daddy’s ‘little girl’ problem
Dear Annie: I am abso- everything and runs to her. In my
lutely at my wits’ end and seri- opinion, she chose to get mar-
ously thinking of divorcing my ried and have a husband. She
needs to rely on him for things
husband.
My husband and I have been and cut the apron strings with
married for 11 years. My step- Daddy some and be an adult. I
daughter is 26. She married three am not begrudging visits; in fact,
I encourage them. But
years ago after living
DEAR
I refuse to change our
with her boyfriend for
plans simply because
a year. The problem is
ANNIE
she decides, spur of the
that she still places her
moment, to make an
dad over her husband.
appearance. He always
Her poor husband takes
takes her side that we
it because he is very
should let her come and
meek and does what-
change our plans. This
ever she wants. She defi-
makes me the monster
nitely wears the pants in
Lane
if I dare say no. I think
the family. She wants to Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
plans should be made
be married, but she still
accordingly. We should
wants to be Daddy’s lit-
tle girl. It goes beyond that. She all four do things together. We
still has him so high on a pedestal could do a dinner out, a day out,
that it is ridiculous for a suppos- etc. My pleas fall on deaf ears.
How do you deal with a
edly grown woman.
She is driving a definite wedge 26-year-old who thinks the world
between us, and it is serious. revolves around her? I don’t see
They live about two hours away. where she and her husband make
She and her husband both have any attempt to create their own
jobs. Yet she calls and cries tears friendships and have their own
that she misses her dad. They still life. These are supposed to be
have date nights; he has offered the happy years when we can go
to go places with her if she does out and do as we please, but it is
not want to go alone. If she calls far from that. I am about to give
and has a problem or something up and start taking vacations by
that needs to be fixed, he drops myself. — Desperate in Montana
Dear Desperate: You can
take a vacation, but these prob-
lems will be waiting for you
when you get back. So before
you get out the suitcase, try get-
ting in your husband’s head. He
seems to have a guilt complex
that makes him feel the need to
bend over backward to make his
daughter happy. His fuzzy-head-
edness on the subject means
that you end up having to be the
voice of reason — a voice unwel-
come to his daughter and there-
fore unwelcome to him. (He has
the overwhelming need to keep
her happy, remember.) If you
keep fighting the battle this way,
you’re destined to lose.
Instead, you need to get him
on your side of the issue, whether
by going to therapy together or
just by putting on your own ther-
apist cap and talking it out. Why
does he feel compelled to help
his daughter all the time? How
does he think this will impact her
and her marriage in the long run?
With some clarity, he should see
that this codependent behavior is
unhealthy and does his daugh-
ter a disservice. She needs to
learn how to rely not on her dad
or even on her husband but on
herself.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, MARCH 9, 2017
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). It is common
among the superstitious to, when on a lucky
streak, disallow any change of behavior. And
even if you’re not superstitious, it’s logical to
take this approach: Whatever worked, keeping
working it.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Don’t plan the
minutiae; plan the broad strokes so you’re free to
improvise between the lines. This will keep you
from boxing yourself into a future that is smaller
than it could have been — or, worse, overly
influenced by others.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Love isn’t always
magical and exciting. Furthermore, a partner
doesn’t have to be perfect to be perfect for
you. You’ll gladly trade the lightning bolts and
fireworks for mutual support that you can trust
for the long haul.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). People acting out
of a sense of duty do not expect to be appreci-
ated as you appreciate them, but this will be a
nice perk to their jobs and one of the many ways
you make the world better by just being you.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). This day is for practic-
ing and getting good at your craft. It starts with
you, alone in a room, repeating the motions,
honing your skill. Then you get to summon your
courage and test what you know by sharing it
more widely.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’ll set out with
the best of intentions and very little control over
environmental factors and other circumstances.
There will be something awesome about abso-
lutely any place you wind up.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Just because you
think it, hear it, see it or feel it doesn’t make it
true. Use doubt as an instrument to question
your own thoughts, and you will save yourself
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
from the inconvenience and drama that comes
from making incorrect assumptions.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’ll have more
confidence going into an endeavor if you allow
for every possible outcome in your mind, includ-
ing dismal failure or wild success. Deem it all
acceptable and, suddenly, you’re fearless.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Before the
high-pressure situation of the day (and there
will be one), go be alone; breathe; get centered;
calm your mind to as close to nothingness as
you can get.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Get the
tedious stuff over and done as soon as possible.
The work may stay at a fun level of zero, but the
freedom you’ll feel when it’s complete is the first
ingredient for the level-10 fun that follows.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Even when
you’re not trying to reach out and connect with
people, you accidentally start up excellent
relationships. It’s a function of your curious mind
and unassuming charm.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Should you invest
your attention and money in tiny details (like you
want to)? There’s no reason not to yield to the
temptation. Your belief that the beauty of life is
in little things mirrors the beliefs of many artists
before you.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (March 10). To
sum it up in three words: You got this. When
you think you don’t, it’s like looking for glasses
that are on your head. Stop; adjust; see. Follow
through with the ideas you have in April: There
is a destiny to be released inside one. The
people you meet in June will enhance existing
relationships. Get training in October. Leo and
Virgo adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 9, 10,
44, 11 and 36.