6A
FEATURES
Daughter takes precedence
Dear Annie: What is wrong never married, is 50. He and his
with me? I truly don’t know ex-wife have been divorced for
what to do. I have a boyfriend five years. He and his daugh-
of five years, and for five years, ter are very secretive about their
I have watched him pursue his conversations, and I have no
place in their life as a third wheel.
daughter daily.
He still works a full-time job
He texts her several times
in a very demanding
daily. He knows where
DEAR
position, but if he doesn’t
she is every minute,
see her at least once a
whom she is with and
ANNIE
week, he has withdraw-
what her plans are. He
als. I am so mad about
would drive 45 min-
it that I refuse to marry
utes to walk her dogs
him. I have talked to him
for her because she is
about this till I am blue
working. He knows all
in the face, and he knows
her friends and stays in
why I won’t marry him,
touch with them, too.
Lane
as she will always come
He seeks them out if he Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
first. He just says, “She’s
goes back to where they
my daughter.”
used to live.
I really don’t love him any-
She was living with him
when he and I met, but a year more, as I don’t see any future
later, she got a place of her own. knowing he will drop everything
However, several times since, to rush to her side for any reason.
she has moved in and out of his But walking out again is stress-
place. He always wants to save a ing me out, too. Any advice? —
place for her in church, and when Third Wheel
Dear Third Wheel: Your
she overslept and didn’t make it
one time, he spent the entire ser- boyfriend is exhibiting signs of
vice craning his neck looking for extreme codependency with his
her. Their goodbyes resemble daughter. That kind of toxicity
those said by people who may can’t be contained to just one
area of his life. It spills into all
never see each other again.
Annie, this man and I are in others, including his relationship
our 70s. His daughter, who has with you. Therapy might help
him change. But he doesn’t seem
to want to.
You deserve much better, and
I think you know it. You would
be happier on your own than wit-
nessing this man obsessively try
to control his daughter for the
rest of his life. You are not a third
wheel; you are a valuable and
important human being. Any-
one who makes you feel lesser
doesn’t deserve your time.
Dear Annie: This is a
response to the letter from “Sud-
den Loss for Words in TN,” who
asked about the best response to
a suicide. My family has been
through that situation.
The worst thing for the fam-
ily are insensitive questions, spo-
ken or implied. For example,
“Why?” “Didn’t you know?”
“Why didn’t you do something?”
You never know the depth of
someone’s inner pain and strug-
gle, because it’s not obvious.
The best thing is to remember
something good about the per-
son: “I remember when he and
I...” “I remember when he...”
That person had a life, even
though it ended so unexpectedly.
But the important thing is that he
lived, not how he died. — Been
There
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 4, 2017
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Some experi-
ence commitment as the loss of options, and
certainly that’s part of it. But sacrificing an
endless array of options for something narrow
and concentrated, oddly, will only make your
life and options larger.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Walking, running,
flying — it’s essentially the same principle.
To move forward requires strength, balance
and constant adjustment. Be honest, feel
where the weakness is, and adjust to correct
yourself.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). What’s important is
sometimes quite dull. You already know every
cobble of the road you’re on today, but there is
a magnificent reason for traversing it over and
over. In a way, this is heroism.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Don’t hesitate,
vacillate, agonize or dwell. Make quick work
of it and get on with something decadent, like
treating yourself to something sweet or de-
lightful or intoxicating. Bonus points for doing it
without guilt!
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You’re fanciful and
imaginative. You can paint a vivid picture for
others with your words and the way you say
them. Use this to your advantage. The right
subject matter is key.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Alas, childhood’s
limitless possibility must come to an end at
some point. And yet today, a youthful opportu-
nity you thought was closed to you forever will
open up once more.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’re not trying to
juggle three or four different balls in the air at
once. That’s for amateurs! You’ve 10 to 20 that
need to stay afloat. If a few drop, don’t even
give it a second thought. Just keep moving.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’ll be a kind
of champion today, although a quiet one. The
fact that you don’t want to be noticed and
lauded for your efforts makes them all the
more valiant.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). There are
times you want to be your most attractive self,
but not always. Invisibility has its benefits.
You need time to yourself. Play it low-key and
you’ll slip happily under the radar for a spell of
much-needed solitude.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). The insecure
and impressionable people around you need
someone to mentor and protect them. You’re
the natural fit. With what you know and who
you are, you will teach and inspire.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Your joy won’t
be found in the world of glamour and thrills
today. The less conventionally exciting a labor
appears to be, the greater its potential as an
arena for doing meaningful, fulfilling work in
the world.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You’re ready
to speak, but are they ready to listen? Prime
them for it first: Grab their attention; then give
them a moment to settle into the reality that
you’re about to say something important. Final-
ly, deliver from the heart. Score!
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Jan. 5). Given
the choice between being somebody and
doing something, you’ll choose the latter.
Accolades are nice, but they feel hollow in
comparison to the high you get from master-
ing the task, killing the mission, being in flow.
You’ll deepen your commitment to your life’s
work and loves for your most successful year
yet. Leo and Scorpio adore you. Your lucky
numbers are: 3, 20, 5, 14 and 18.