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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 26, 2016)
6A FEATURES She’s missing intimacy Dear Annie: My husband ing alone scares me, but I can’t and I have been married for over continue living in limbo. — Sad 30 years. In many ways, we and Fed Up are very compatible and have Dear Sad: Your concerns shared interests in music, books don’t make you a narcissist; and movies. However, we no they make you normal. Ten longer have a sex life or any years is not part of the nor- form of intimacy. It has mal intimacy ebb-and- DEAR been almost 10 years flow all couples expe- since he expressed an rience. A fulfilling ANNIE interest in being with sex life is part of any me. He also refuses to healthy marriage — discuss the issue. and so is communica- tion. Your husband is In the past few shutting you down on years, whenever I try both fronts. Rather than to talk about my unhap- talk about the problem, piness, he maintains Lane he blames you for even that I am narcissistic Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. caring. He’s using the and asks me not to nag tired old defense mech- him about it. I know he has performance problems, and anism called deflection. Don’t it doesn’t help that he drinks fall for it. It sounds as if your hus- every night. He has also told me that although he loves me, he is band is suffering from depres- not in love with me and consid- sion. Tell him that whether he wants to recognize that there is ers us companions. I have gone for counseling, a problem or not, his refusal to but I feel as if I say the same get help is hurting you. Implore things over and over with no him to seek counseling. It also may be that he is an resolution. I think my husband hopes I’ll forget about sex and alcoholic. At the very least, his learn to be content with the situ- drinking bothers you. That’s ation. Because I am near retire- reason enough for you to attend ment age and used to living an Alcoholics Anonymous with a family, the idea of liv- meeting (by yourself), where THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, DECEMBER 26, 2016 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. you will find a roomful of peo- ple who can relate to what you’re going through. I wish you all the best. Dear Annie: I just read the letter from “Hopeless,” whose son turned against her and sided with his grandparents (who were abusive to his mom when she was growing up). I had a similar situation. My daughter’s father and step- mother tried (and succeeded for several years) to cause separa- tion between my daughter and me. I fought it. I tried to stick up for myself. I tried to explain things to her. (I left out the parts about her father’s abusing me.) Nothing mattered. I was just the awful person who left the mar- riage and broke up the family. Eventually, I had to just let go and let God take control. Once they no longer had to fight with me to keep convincing her of how awful I was, their true colors showed. My daugh- ter and I have a relationship, and she sees her father and his wife for who they are. Please let Hopeless know to keep her head up and just be patient. My thoughts and prayers are with her. — Vindicated in Indiana ARIES (March 21-April 19). Like a pair of vintage shoes that perfectly completes an ensemble, your past makes the you-of-the- moment more interesting, authentic and comfortably worn-in. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). There are compromises to be made, and you won’t be a lesser person for making them, much to the contrary: You’ll be (SET ITAL) more (END ITAL) of a person. More empathetic, wise, experienced — and wealthier, too. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’re a unique individual. The more you realize your quirks, figure out your preferences and honor your dislikes, too, the happier you’ll be. The thing to do is to stop seeking societal rewards and replace them with personal rewards. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Take pride in your progress. Maybe you still don’t know what you want, but you know what you don’t want, and that’s even more important at this point. You’ll use this information to make a new plan. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). The obvious route is too easy for you. Besides, people are starting to expect you to do something different. Also, you’ll probably find that the main road is blocked. Everything is aligned to get you to take the road less traveled. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’re so relaxed today that you’re practically unexcitable, which makes you a rock for your loved ones. That doesn’t mean you lack enthusiasm. It just means that you administer it in measured doses. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). There’s a thrill in being a beginner — starting at the very bottom and working your way through each FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE stage. Use the distinct advantages of the starting line. It is a place where everything is still possible. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You don’t have to be in an elite group to feel special. You purposely distance yourself from involvement in cliques who enjoy judging others from a “superior” position. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You don’t seek trouble. But if it culminates like storm clouds above your head, you won’t run from it, either. Adversity, when faced head-on, is precisely what will make you strong. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Deconstruct a situation to understand it better. Cause problems on purpose to test your skill at fixing them. Like a child learning the world, you are naturally inclined to experiment. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’re in charge of you. Others might be bossy today, because you’ve attracted people want to be a part of your next move. Get distance from the crowd. Let your next move be all you. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Here’s one thing certain about your future: You can and will rise to the occasion. Part of the reason is that you’re practicing for it: You are practicing for it, aren’t you? If not, this is a fine time to start. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 27). This year represents a clear “before-and-after” sce- nario. Your year will be the bass note of the chord of your life. In the future, you’ll rever- berate against it, resonate with the memories, speculate on the implied trajectories. Love is the focus of the first quarter. Business is the focus of the next. When in doubt, go with less. Leo and Taurus adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 1, 3, 28, 44 and 6.
