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6A
Teen adapts to dad’s anger
Dear Annie: I’m 18, and
recently I’ve been having problems
with my dad.
I tried to be a mature person
while growing up. I never had a par-
ticularly rebellious stage. But my
dad’s temper isn’t always controlla-
ble. When I was young and things
didn’t go his way, he would yell and
throw things. Luckily, as I grew, his
temper quelled a bit, but still when I
don’t quite agree with his opinions
— even if it’s just a small thing —
he gets very emotional and angry.
That scares me, and I just become
resigned. I don’t want to argue and
see no point in doing so. I’d rather
agree and live as a happy family.
But this has had its costs, and
I’ve grown further and further apart
from my family emotionally. I’ll
be leaving my country and going
to college soon, and I just want to
change something for the better
before it’s too late. — Venturing Out
Dear Venturing: When you’re
a kid, you don’t have much control
over your living situation, so you
adapt to it. You’ve learned how to
get by and cope in your household
over the years. Healthy detachment
has been a useful device in your
emotional toolkit, as it has prevented
you from absorbing all the stress of
your environment. Once you leave
Dear Annie
By
Annie
Lane
Creators
Syndicate
Inc.
home, you might ind it easier to let
that protective wall down and be
candid with your family.
Before you go, try writing a let-
ter to each of your family members
to express your love and your hopes
to have closer relationships with
them. It may not immediately erase
the emotional distance, but it will
offer you a sense of peace. I wish
you all the best.
Dear Annie: I’m curious: What
are the basic rules today for throw-
ing baby showers? It has been a rule
that showers are given by friends of
the bride, not by her relatives.
Recently, I attended my very
close relative’s elaborate, well-
themed irst baby shower. The
mother-to-be has written her notes
of gratitude (thank goodness).
But I have a problem. I requested
many gift suggestions and bought
many of them, and because I
planned to be out of town when the
baby arrived, I also gave a gener-
ous monetary gift. Handing it to the
mother, I clearly asked that the large
amount of money be put in an edu-
cational fund for the baby. In the
thank-you note, she stated that the
money was used for the shower.
Since when is it proper for the
mother to pay for her own shower? I
know it is a fast-paced, ever-chang-
ing world we adults are caught up
in. But can you explain this to me?
— Perplexed Relative
Dear Perplexed: Although it
used to be considered poor form for
anyone in a bride- or mother-to-be’s
family to throw a shower (it might
give the appearance of asking for
money for your own family), it’s
now socially acceptable and com-
mon. Now, one would hope a bride-
to-be or expectant mother wouldn’t
have to go to the trouble of throw-
ing the shower herself, but it’s not
totally unheard of or rude to do so.
Next time, if you want to make
certain a inancial gift goes toward
the baby’s education, look into open-
ing a 529 college savings account
(which you could invite other guests
to contribute to, too). Your inancial
planner can provide you with more
information.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 13, 2016
Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Are you just
making the best of the way things are turning
out or are things really turning out for the best?
It’s hard to say, because with your stellar atti-
tude you continually spot opportunity and turn
potential into reality.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Nothing in life is
created apart from others. The extent to which
you depend on your crew is pretty remarkable
today, and even more remarkable is the way
they meet and then exceed your highest ex-
pectations.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). It’s the same
way with people as it is with fruit: When they’re
squeezed, you find out what kind of juice is
inside. The pressure is on today and this will
work in your favor as people find out the pow-
erful potion of zesty vitality you’re made of.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’re in an ex-
traordinarily selfless mood today and anyone
lucky enough to join forces with you will expe-
rience your loyalty. Their interests will become
your interests, their goals your project, their
obstacles your mission.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). The bad news is that
you are definitely your own worst enemy. The
good news is that you have no others today. So
reason with yourself. Go easier. Call off the fight
if you can. If not, do try and win yourself over.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). On whom can
you depend? As emotionally close as you may
feel to someone, practical matters must be as-
sessed in practical terms. Reassess your sup-
port system, based on the evidence of recent
behavior.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Your reputation
stirs up a sense of wonder, anticipation and
expectation. What do they know about you be-
fore you enter the room? How can you tweak
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
this early information to be seen in the best
light?
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). This project
could drag on for years, or it could be done in
a few weeks. Go for the short route. Get more
people involved, invest more money and con-
centrate more time. The power of momentum
is on your side.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Some
things can’t be bought. What you need today
can be. However, the greater the emotional
connection is for those involved in making it
happen, the smaller the dollar amount will be
needed to fund the effort.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). To receive
help you don’t need only keeps you from work-
ing at the level that will allow you to attract the
help you do need to grow. The more you can
do to become self-sufficient, the better.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). There will be
something of a competition involved in acquir-
ing today’s goods. It will boil down to who got
there first and how aggressively this person
tries to pursue the spoils.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). If you didn’t set
up your deal in the early stages of the plan,
now that you’re at the end there’s a tough deci-
sion to be made about how to split up the credit
and the profit.
WEDNESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Sept. 14).
Something you didn’t even see as a problem
has been holding you back. This year you’ll
come to an awareness and then blossom in
a blink. Embracing the new way will be easy.
In January you will demonstrate what years
of practice and study have given you and be
chosen for a position. Capricorn and Sagittar-
ius adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 19, 2,
24, 31 and 11.