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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 8, 2016)
FEATURES 6A Not doing his fair share Dear Annie: My irst husband was a workaholic with little time for me, so when I divorced and met my current husband, I was thrilled to ind such an optimistic, fun-loving man. He is affectionate, extremely clever and a real people person. However, as years go by, he seems to have less and less ambition and isn’t doing his fair share to keep us out of debt. When we irst met, he was work- ing two jobs to cover his expenses and pay child support. He now works one job and thinks nothing of knock- ing off early to go home and watch sports and goof off on the computer. A large part of my personal pay- check is spent covering his past-due taxes, his kid’s college loan pay- ments, etc. There’s little money left for me to get a haircut or have lunch with friends once in a while. I’m now facing some health challenges, and he hasn’t stepped up to help me. My resentment is starting to destroy any affection I had. I’m ready to separate. I am self-suficient and would be better off inancially on my own; however, I’m hoping a separa- tion might make him wake up and start doing his fair share. Am I fooling myself thinking a separation might help him grow up? Do I need to accept that I married Peter Pan? — Overworked Wendy Dear Annie By Annie Lane Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Wendy: Don’t send Peter Pan packing to Neverland just yet. He’s fallen into a lazy slump because it’s been easy for him, and now he needs a push to get moving again. Being honest and open is your best shot at a happily-ever-after ending. Tell him that if this marriage is to continue, it needs to start function- ing like a true partnership. Perhaps he should pick up a second job again. I would also talk to a inancial adviser, as it might be wise to keep your inances separate until he shows he’s ready to grow up. And if that never happens? He can ly away to another couch. Dear Annie: Two years ago, my son’s stepson died very suddenly and tragically. Now my son’s wife is in the depths of depression. She does things to try to feel bet- ter, such as going on trips, but when she returns, she seems sadder than ever. She unloads on me out of the blue and makes me feel terrible. I try to help her but end up so upset and feeling down on myself. Then later I hear that she has done something fun, and meanwhile I am still reeling. My son loves her but is living a solitary life. He works 40-plus hours a week but still has to do his laundry, the cooking and other chores. They have other children, who I don’t think are getting attention. I have offered to do anything I can to help her. I have found grief support classes. I have offered to take her to church, but I think she blames God for what has happened. I I feel so sorry for everyone. It seems my son and his family are liv- ing in a dark, depressing cave. Any suggestions? — Got the Blues Dear Blues: I am so sorry for your family’s loss. Your daughter- in-law is experiencing every par- ent’s worst nightmare. Continue being empathetic and letting her cry on your shoulder. Spend time with their other children. Talk to your son about attending marriage counseling speciically for par- ents who have lost children. Con- tact the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy for more resources. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). When the storm nears, the natural response is to take shelter and huddle in fear there until the tumult passes. Why, then, do you feel com- pelled to chase the dark cloud and poke at it with a stick until it tells you what it’s made of? TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Part of you would do anything to make the person you love happy. The other part of you realizes that nothing good comes of spoiling your loved ones. They’ll only take you for granted and become rotten. Limits can be love, too. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Which came first, the dream or the memory? They are all swirling together now, motivating you to march forward. Just know that you do not have to avenge the wrongs of yesterday to create a new tomorrow. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Getting there is said to be half the fun, but when the vehicle is a thing of beauty, it might be well over the three-quarter mark. Whether it’s better shoes or a better car, you won’t regret the upgrade. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Like a pilot tak- ing to the air, you will review each point in your checklist to prepare yourself for take- off. This is something you know to do every single time. Leave nothing to memory or to chance. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You spoke your heart. Your heart changed, and you spoke it again. Each time, you get braver and clearer. Communication is something you can’t get worse at. Communicate often and you’ll communicate better. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’ll be in- volved in a mixup. You’ll discover over the course of the interaction that though there FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE is something similar in the two things being confused, they are not the same at all. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You can be considerate and appropriate and still quietly make an unpopular choice. You’re so well- liked that it will be possible to fly under the radar if that’s what you’d prefer. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You’ll teeter between personal relationships and professional interests. Like a dancer, you’ll balance beautifully as long as you keep your core very strong and your posture pulled up toward the sky. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You may find yourself craving more knowledge of, access to and products from the object of your focus. You’re fast becoming a fan, driv- en to get your hands on more of the thing that thrills you so. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). The more you know, the more you want to know. This is how you tell that your interest is worthy of you! Once you start asking around, new circles open to you. You were meant for this. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You’re get- ting attention. Publicity will create a greater demand for your product. Be smart. Hold out. The lack of immediate access will drive the price up so you can ultimately sell high. FRIDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Sept. 9). You’ve learned not to fret over or force the action, and life unfolds beautifully before you. An inheritance will make your way easier. You’ll be challenged by a great teacher in Decem- ber. You’ll give a top performance and start earning more for your work at the start of 2017. March brings new friends and goals. Cancer and Leo adore you. Your lucky num- bers are: 6, 11, 13, 3 and 40.
