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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 17, 2016)
A blue-collar wedding
Dear Annie: Two of my friends
recently got married out in the coun-
tryside. Although the three-day week-
end was sold as a “vacation in a cabin
by the river,” the bride and groom
expected everyone to come to the
venue and work nonstop for the entire
There were friends who drove
across half the country with their fam-
ilies, only to spend hours upon hours
decorating. Some worked themselves
into complete exhaustion. The day
before the wedding was spent in non-
stop preparations the entire day. There
was no food provided for the free
“workers” or anything else of the sort.
The couple’s disgruntled friends
made plenty of comments about not
having everything they needed to per-
form their assigned tasks and having to
make due, and there was a general atti-
tude of being overwhelmed and work-
ing too much.
I not only was annoyed with the
amount of work and lack of thankful-
ness but also barely got to spend any
quality time with my boyfriend, who
hardly even knows the couple. He was
asked to help with manual labor and
would disappear with the father of the
bride for hours on end.
Before we even parked our car the
day of the wedding, my boyfriend was
asked to help with parking all the other
wedding guests and disappeared for
another four hours. The day was rushed
and panicked. I was in the bridal party
and had less than 30 minutes to get
ready because of all the tasks. I didn’t
think my hair was more important than
setting up a beverage station so the 120
guests had something to drink during
the 81-degree outdoor wedding.
After the ceremony, while people
were dancing, her father needed to take
the borrowed tables and chairs back
to the church. We were loading 120
chairs, heavy tables, etc., onto a truck.
The bride was dancing 10 feet away
and acted as if she couldn’t see peo-
ple working. We went with him to the
church and were gone for nearly two
hours. Upon our return, the bride asked
me where I had been. I told her, and
she said, “Well, you didn’t have to do
that!” But someone did have to do it,
and I wasn’t OK making my boyfriend
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 17, 2016
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
do all of that work without helping.
After we returned, the bride kept
asking us to dance and have fun. We
went to bed and left early in the morn-
ing before we could be asked to do
anything else. I am ready to sever the
Since when does having a coun-
try-style wedding make it OK to work
your friends to death? How should
we have handled this situation differ-
ently to save ourselves? This friend has
started to contact me as if nothing hap-
pened. How do I respond without taint-
ing the memory of her “special day”?
— Bride’s Maid
Dear Maid: Forced unpaid labor
doesn’t count as “something bor-
rowed,” and the fact that it’s a couple’s
special day doesn’t give them a free
pass to act especially inconsiderately.
One small chore would have been
appropriate, but this situation crossed
the line somewhere around the 40th
car your boyfriend helped to park. The
bride and groom weren’t thoughtful,
plain and simple.
That said, weddings can trig-
ger acute bouts of myopia in other-
wise well-adjusted people. If this was
the irst time these friends behaved
this way, forgive — but don’t forget.
Next time, set boundaries early on, lest
you be assembling a crib at the baby
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Sometimes
you think things through, and other times it
seems like the thoughts are thinking through
you. A series of rapid-fire thoughts will lead
to a profound revelation that changes every-
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). The people
from your past are important to you, even if
they don’t have a lot to do with where you’re
headed. You’ll make efforts to keep in touch,
not because you should, but because these
contacts are part of who you are.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). The task at
hand is an awkward one. So, you’re not the
best at this. You don’t have to be the best; all
you have to be is (SET ITAL) your (END ITAL)
best. You’ll hit the pillow tonight knowing that
you used this day to its full potential.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’ll act on
the best idea that occurs to you in the mo-
ment. If you want better ideas to occur to you,
don’t worry; they will. It’s a natural function of
exposing yourself to such moments repeat-
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Cheerlead and
coach yourself. Tell yourself that you’re a
champion, a hero, you got this. There’s no
time to agonize over the situation, or even
time to try and get it right. Just get it done.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Someone
has wronged you in the past. If only it were
enough that this person has apologized and
wants your forgiveness. It still seems a little
too easy, doesn’t it? There’s more that will oc-
cur before you’ll be ready to let this one go.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Not everything
in the relationship will add up neatly. It’s a bit
confusing, but so what? It’s a wonderland!
You’re not supposed to understand those. If
FRANK AND ERNEST
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
WIZARD OF ID
ROSE IS ROSE
you did, there would be nothing to wonder at.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You can’t do
A without tending to B, which relies on A be-
ing solidly in place. Your best bet is to recog-
nize that this conundrum could go on forever
unless you break out and find about 10 other
options to try on.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Life
leads you to do such funny, contradictory
things, and then you’ll laugh as though you
were merely a witness to this. Of course, you
have to deal with consequences that a wit-
ness wouldn’t have to worry about.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). The situa-
tion has the potential to leave you in a state
not unlike that of a disgruntled teen, sighing
and full of argument. Don’t let it happen. The
adult answers are the only ones that will work.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Objective-
ly, you feel the situation won’t bring out your
best and the crowd won’t be a good fit for
you — and yet, inexplicably, you want to be
included. The reasons are primal and hard to
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Follow your
curiosity and ask the meaningful questions.
When you know a little about a person’s past,
this person’s present status will delight you
all the more.
THURSDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 18). You’ll
flex a new part of your personality this year,
daring to disagree with the authorities in your
life and opting for different modes of self-ex-
pression. You don’t need permission to shine,
but you’ll get it anyway in November. Febru-
ary puts a new venture on the front burner.
March will focus on a special relationship.
Cancer and Aries adore you. Your lucky num-
bers are: 8, 10, 43, 20 and 11.