FEATURES
6A
How to get over the anger?
Dear Annie: I am writing to get
your input on an issue I am unable to
resolve or forget.
Over 50 years ago, I began a
friendship with a co-worker and his
family that was close and personal.
Despite job changes and relocations,
we communicated regularly.
Two years ago, he was diag-
nosed with cancer, which seemed
to strengthen our friendship even
more. After surgery and treatment,
he called one day to say that his can-
cer was in total remission and that
he was cancer-free. We were both
elated. However, his news came just
as my nephew and niece were both
diagnosed with cancerous brain
tumors. Consequently, I became
much more occupied with their rap-
idly deteriorating situations.
After three or four months of not
talking to my friend — the longest
we had ever gone without talking
— I called to see how his battle with
cancer was progressing. His wife
answered the phone. After a brief
conversation, I asked to speak with
my friend. She then told me, in a
somewhat surprised voice, that he
had died 2 1/2 months earlier. I was
so absolutely shocked, stunned and
hurt I could not say anything. I just
hung up and cried.Since that con-
versation, I have been angry and
Dear Annie
By
Annie
Lane
Creators
Syndicate
Inc.
resentful of her, wanting badly to
let her know how I feel. Should I?
If not, how do I forget her and this
incident? — Persistent Anger
Dear Persistent: I am so sorry
for your loss. I could feel your heart-
ache as I read this letter.
Don’t confront your friend’s
widow. She was (and still is) in a
deep state of mourning and didn’t
mean to leave you out. What’s
more, I don’t believe that you are
really angry with her. You’re angry
your friend died, and it’s easier to
project this anger onto a person than
to accept there’s no one to blame.
I think you are also angry with
yourself. You feel guilty that you
weren’t more in touch with your
friend during this time. But it isn’t
your fault. You had no way of know-
ing he would relapse. Although you
weren’t physically by your friend’s
side during those inal weeks, you
gave him 50 years of friendship and
helped him live life to the fullest.
That is what counts. That is love.
Seeing as you weren’t able to
attend the funeral, ind another
way to say goodbye. Perhaps visit
his resting place and say what you
would like to say to him, or go to a
place you two always used to go.
Forgive yourself, and forgive
your friend’s wife. I’m sure it’s what
he would have wanted.
Dear Annie: I am writing in
response to your column concern-
ing the person who wrote in about
her humming co-worker.
The letter writer may be suffering
from misophonia, a condition with
which I also suffer. Repeated noises
produce intense anxiety responses
in people with this condition. I have
tried biofeedback, behavioral mod-
iication, psychoanalysis and medi-
cations, to no avail. Before you dis-
miss your reader’s responses as just
“unpleasant,” please realize that
some sensitive people have phys-
ical responses to repeated sounds
that are impossible to control and,
indeed, are debilitating. The medi-
cation I am taking helps me to calm
down a bit, but I have not found
anything to control or remove it. —
Living With Misophonia
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, AUGUST 15, 2016
Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). It’s a specific
kind of glory you’re yearning for. The people
around you may be incapable of delivering
what you need. Should you choose to seek
a new set of friends, you’ll find them. Start by
hanging out somewhere different.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). They’ll voice
an opinion, and you’ll feel pressure to chime
in. You’re not obligated to. You’re not even ob-
ligated to listen. Sometimes the kindest and
most appropriate stance is: “I don’t know.”
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You under-
stand that your truth is not the only truth,
and you respect the rights of others, includ-
ing their right to disagree with you. This way
of being in the world makes you bigger, not
smaller.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’re inter-
ested in so many different things today that
your work will probably take on a meander-
ing quality. Don’t judge yourself or put your-
self in a position to be judged by others. It
will all make sense a little later.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Aggressive people
want to win, but so do nonaggressive types.
The difference is that aggressive people are
only truly satisfied with the win if they’re sure
the loser has suffered some. Those types
will only bring you heartache.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). They like you,
but that’s not what’s important here. Fur-
thermore, the praise may not fit your mental
script, and the accolades won’t be what you
expected, either. The point is, your contribu-
tion is making a difference.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You are natural-
ly mesmerizing today, and part of it is your
tendency toward indecision. They’ll watch
you swing back and forth, not knowing
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
where you’ll land. This has a hypnotic effect.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). There are
those who simply haven’t learned where the
boundaries are yet, and they will keep taking
for as long as they are allowed. Unless you
claim your rights, they won’t know you have
them.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The
comments you make have a way of evok-
ing strong feelings and awakening people’s
senses. Enjoy the extra attention that’s swirl-
ing around you today.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Your
heart is as sensitive as the hearts of other,
more demonstrative people in your midst;
it’s just that you don’t show it. Your feelings
will become more manageable when you
privately acknowledge them.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). There have
been times in the past when you distanced
yourself from the decision-making process
just to keep things simple for the group. Get
back in the information loop now. They need
you.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Go on and
follow the muse. Like the wildflowers grow-
ing just off to the side, she’s beckoning you
away from the path the others are following.
Your work will be better for the detour.
TUESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 16). You
trust the others, but the bottom line is that
they don’t know what’s best for you. You
have full involvement in the processes that
affect you this year and will thereby create
your own destiny. Next month brings a de-
velopment that will inspire you to build. You’ll
invest and grow your realm of influence in
November. Virgo and Scorpio adore you.
Your lucky numbers are: 1, 3, 33, 18 and 49.