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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 4, 2016)
FEATURES 6A Longtime boyfriend is MIA Dear Annie: My signiicant other and I were in a relationship for 15 years. One evening, I was feeling insecure and asked whether there was someone else. Very soon after that, my signiicant other completely cut off all contact with me. We were in a commitment and planning to get married, but now there is absolutely no communica- tion, which just drives me to want to contact him even more than I would have in the past. I’m trying to stay anchored in optimism, hoping that this storm will pass, he will get back in touch and we will restore our relationship. How does a person shut down and not have any communication? This has spurred me to start obsess- ing. Without the ability to know when we will speak again, I feel paralyzed. It’s very irritating, and it makes me feel totally separate from this person. Wouldn’t it create a better out- come if there were a resounding “no” or if we talked it through? How long do I hold on? Maybe it’s too late. Or maybe even if he were to come back, I should be wary and concerned that he could have ever completely shut down like this. Thanks in advance for your input. — Left Behind Dear Left: People often live in a state of open-ended anguish when a Dear Annie By Annie Lane Creators Syndicate Inc. loved one goes missing or dies in a way that makes a body irretrievable. Denial is a stage of grief, and without concrete evidence of a person’s death, it can be very hard to move past it. Similarly, without a deinite breakup from your partner, you’re stuck in a holding pattern. That’s what makes his cowardly behavior so unbelievably cruel and selish. If he has made himself totally unreachable, then you need to decide once and for all that things are over between you. Truly over. Only then can you have closure, properly mourn the relationship and move on. Whatever you do, don’t blame yourself. One moment of your feeling insecure should not lead your signii- cant other to cut off all ties after being in a relationship for 15 years. I would ask what prompted your suspicions in the irst place. Trust your intuition. Dear Annie: Can you tell me a polite way to respond to a “friend” who constantly says mean things? For example, she’ll say, “What’s that line on your face?” “What happened to your arm? You have spots on it.” “Wow! You have a big nose.” She always does it while in the company of others, which embarrasses me. Often she doesn’t even address me but makes the comments to other peo- ple within my earshot. I’m not sure what I did to deserve this, as I’ve only tried to be nice to her. Does she do this because she is insecure? I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I’ve reached a point where I don’t want to be in her company anymore. Hope you can help. — Frustrated Friend Dear Frustrated: You were right to put “friend” in quotation marks. This woman is no friend; she is a frenemy. Forget being frustrated. You have my permission to be outraged. Shaming a person in front of oth- ers is a form of bullying. You sound like a sweet person, and she has prob- ably chosen you as the object of her animosity because of that. She mis- takes your kindness for weakness. So stand up for yourself the next time she insults you. I would suggest a harsh comeback, but if you’re not comfortable with that, then say some- thing upbeat but irm. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, AUGUST 4, 2016 Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Pursue what you need if you know what that is. If not, let your feelings teach you as they pull you in surprising ways. They are trying to clue you in to what might lead to joy and fulfillment. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You have ex- perience in controlled chaos and will be the one in charge of looking out for your people while they try to complete a mission, have a little fun and/or get inspired. Your aware- ness will make all the difference. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Your beliefs are essential to your daily actions, habits, attitudes. Have you figured out which one is getting in your way? Poke around in your own systems and thoughts. Bring your be- liefs into question. One needs to go. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Review the last four weeks. What worked and what didn’t? There’s a chance to quickly and easily step out of an arrangement that’s simply not going to get you where you want to be. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). If you can trav- el, do it. If you can’t, then reading, movies or high-quality conversations with people who’ve lived in places foreign to you will work almost as well to ignite your passion. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). When you understand your own feelings, you under- stand the feelings of others. Taking a mo- ment to ponder your own emotions this evening will help you be a good friend later this month. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). The people you know expect you to behave in a partic- ular way, but you’re in a mood to try some- thing new. This will be much easier to pull off in a crowd that doesn’t know you yet. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’ve giv- en a super-star performance, and you’re ready for a break. When the attention is di- verted from you, you’ll consider it a pleas- ant change and a chance to relax. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You see no harm in making another person feel good, even if it means laying it on a bit thick with compliments that aren’t exactly well-deserved. Of course, the closer you can stick to the truth, the better. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). A lot of workers never get thanked for their contri- butions. So when you turn this around by acknowledging those who help you, you build confidence, morale and loyalty at once. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Empa- thy is the first step. Then again, what’s the point of knowing how another person is feeling if you don’t know what to do about it? Don’t worry. You’ll learn from others to- day and gain emotional intelligence points. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You’re in an action-oriented mood so you’ll set goals and look for ways to keep doing better. You’re committed to taking initiative. You have no idea how inspiring you are to those around you. FRIDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 5). You’ll manage your fears, take a leap and make a change this month. In September you’ll win a contest. December brings the chance to team up with friends for fun and profit. The end of a term will come in 2017 and you’ll be free to launch into a new adventure by March. Dividends will come in August. Cap- ricorn and Aquarius adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 9, 30, 1, 18 and 45