FEATURES
6A
Gran needs to set boundaries
Dear Annie: I’m a grandmother
to ive children. My son Brian and
his wife, Amanda, have a 3-year-old
and a 6-month-old together.
They live several states away,
about a ive-hour drive. I get to see
them close to once a month, though,
as they continually ask me to watch
the kids while they go on vacation.
When their baby was only 3
months old, they took a trip to a
resort in Mexico. Personally, I
would never leave an infant, so
I don’t understand their desire to
leave so often. Now they’re going
on a weeklong cruise, and I’ll be
baby-sitting again.
I don’t mind watching the grand-
kids. I love them to the moon and
back, and really, I appreciate how
nice it is that I get to spend time
with them, especially while they’re
still little and thrilled to see their
grandma. But I think it’s getting out
of hand, and I feel as if my son and
daughter-in-law think I don’t have a
life of my own. Am I being ridicu-
lous? — Frustrated Grandma
Dear Frustrated: Here’s a word
that will change your life: “No.” Try
using it the next time your son and
his wife are daydreaming of making
a tropical getaway and leaving you
in charge of their home life.
Giving in to their requests all the
Dear Annie
By
Annie
Lane
Creators
Syndicate
Inc.
time will leave you feeling taken
advantage of and resentful. And that’s
a sureire way to damage your rela-
tionship with your son. Set boundaries.
Dear Annie: I am dating Jacob,
a man I met online two years ago.
Soon after we connected online,
I broke it off with the guy I had
been seeing and lew to meet Jacob
in Utah, where he lives. We hit it
off and decided to start a long-dis-
tance relationship. (I live on the East
Coast.)
Things were great for the irst
few months. Then we started ight-
ing almost every day, mostly about
small stuff; he wasn’t calling me
enough and hadn’t visited me (when
I had visited him twice). We worked
out a better routine, and he started
visiting me every few months. But
now I’m dealing with some other
issues.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, JULY 12, 2016
Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
Jacob is Mormon. (I’m not reli-
gious.) He isn’t fully committed to
his faith anymore, but he still goes to
church every week and has a lot of
friends from that community. One
of these friends is a woman who is
about his age (he’s 40) and has taken
to sending me threatening Facebook
messages about how I am “bad” and
Jacob is a “good man” who deserves
“a nice Mormon girl.” She makes
me feel like a terrible person, and
I’ve never even met this lady!
I brought this up with Jacob, but
he continues to act as if everything
is ine when he sees this woman in
group settings. He said he doesn’t
want to confront her, because they
have so many friends in common. I
wish he would tell her to stop. He
just laughs it off and says, “That’s
just how Mary is. Don’t worry about
her.” Well, I do worry! — Secular
Girlfriend
Dear Secular: Mormon or not,
Jacob should not be allowing any-
one to harass you in any way. If he
is allowing this to go on from across
the country, I shudder to think what
he would tolerate if you lived in the
same city. It sounds as if he either
does not have much of a backbone
to stick up for you or he does not
care enough to. Move on and try to
ind a new boyfriend.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). What is it
called when it seems like the whole world is
conspiring to get in the way of “your thing”?
Some call it bad luck; others call it a bad
mood. Or maybe it’s a sign...
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Even with
state-of-the-art tools, it is impossible to
chart exactly how you experience the jour-
ney. Still, you’ll be enriched by trying your
very best to keep track.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Stocking your
life with fun people has proven to be a stel-
lar idea. It’s part of the reason you’re seeing
a joke in most things now — not everything,
mind you. If there were humor in everything,
it would cease to be funny.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Make oth-
ers feel comfortable, at ease and better
about themselves and you’ve suddenly
more clout than the most confident and au-
thoritative person in the room.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). The current cos-
mic lineup is a vitamin shot to your imag-
ination. Use your creative powers to visu-
alize your next incarnation and you’ll quite
naturally find a way out of stale, negative
patterns.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Some find
comfort in knowing the numbers, but even
statisticians don’t live their lives by statis-
tics. Share a feeling. It’s more interesting
than knowing and proliferating the cold
facts.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’re witty.
You could impress people with that, but
for now let wit be your ace in the hole as
you lean on other skills: empathy, listening,
compassion, curiosity, the desire to create
genuine rapport and more.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). There are
days when you can casually, lazily hanker
for something and actually bring it to hand.
Not most days though. Certainly not today.
Desire makes things happen. Commit to
what you want.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The
greedy person is afraid of being overlooked
and undernourished by life in some way. It’s
the same with other things as it is with food:
Quantity doesn’t equal nutrition. “More” can
often be harmful instead of fortifying.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). The ma-
gician has to practice very hard to pull off
the illusions but once the tricks are learned,
executing them is easy. It’s the same with
humor, which is more magical than magic.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You may
have heard the answers already from your
current fold, but those answers didn’t take
hold, because familiarity sometimes caus-
es deafness. It’s why you need to talk to
new people, too.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You’ve a
sense of fun burbling up in you now, and you
can’t help but share it. Kindred spirits will see
the sparkle in your eye, and they’ll get ready
to catch whatever else you’re throwing out.
WEDNESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (July 13).
Your birthday wish is a tall order, but it’s
not out of line; nor is it outside the realm
of possibility. Strides made in the next 10
weeks will make it so. A deal wraps up fa-
vorably next month. September highlights
family togetherness. There will be exciting
developments in the realm of love and re-
lationships in October. Capricorn and Aries
adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 44, 12,
14, 7 and 50.