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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (June 24, 2016)
FEATURES 6A Injured wife ‘not interested’ Dear Annie: My wife and I are in our 60s and recently cel- ebrated our 15th anniversary. I know she loves me, but the phys- ical side of our marriage has gone completely down the toilet. It started about six years ago when my wife suffered a massive stroke, causing her to lose the ability to speak, as well as some coordination on one side. She also becomes easily confused. Less than a year later, we were in an auto accident where she suf- fered two compressed vertebrae in her neck, requiring surgery. She also developed severe osteo- arthritis (it’s mostly genetic, but the accident triggered the onset), which affects nearly every joint in her body. Now the problem: My wife has lost all interest in any form of physical contact, including sex, saying the pain is excruciating when I touch her. I barely get a half-hearted hug with no contact other than her head on my chest. We still kiss and hold hands, but no other body parts touch. We have been to multiple doc- tors and so-called specialists, and all they want to do is throw pre- scription pain meds at her, only one of which her body could tol- Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar erate. Physical therapy has not helped. I love my wife, but sorely miss being able to touch, cud- dle or make love to her. I ind myself drinking a lot at night just to kill the urge. I’m going absolutely nuts over this. I am not one to stray, but the drinking isn’t doing me much good and the antidepressant the doctor rec- ommended isn’t helping much, either. I know there has to be some treatment out there that would help. What can I do? — Tilting at Windmills Dear Tilting: Let’s recap — your wife had a stroke which has left her somewhat incapacitated, she was injured in a car accident and had neck surgery and now has severe osteoarthritis and is in constant pain. And you are dis- appointed that she doesn’t want to be closely held? Please under- stand that every time you try, you are hurting her. A lot. It seems your wife has made every effort to alleviate her pain through medication and ther- apy. Now it’s your turn. You need to ind a way to deal with your current situation and accept your wife’s physical limitations. Counseling may help. Please ask your doctor for a referral. Dear Annie: I am respond- ing to “Need to Get Moving,” the dog owner who doesn’t want strangers to pet his dogs. We have two large German shepherds. Our vet advised us to tell people, “For your protec- tion and theirs, we would appre- ciate if you do not pet them.” For the past couple of years, we have also been using the yellow ribbon you mentioned. We spend our summers at a boat marina and see many dif- ferent people and dogs each day. When asked about the yellow ribbons, we are happy to explain. With the help of columns like yours, I believe it is only a mat- ter of time for this practice to become very well-known. — My Kids Have Paws THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, JUNE 24, 2016 Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). New people inspire new awareness. For a moment, the mere freshness of an association can cause you to slow down and tune in to what makes life seem more precious and beautiful. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Hearts are among the more resilient organs of the body, and you’ve already experienced this in your own life. Today you’ll do something you wouldn’t have been able to do just weeks ago — proof that your heart has re- ally healed. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Are you hav- ing a hard time picturing what your life will be like after you make your move? Maybe that’s because it’s not the right move to make. If it doesn’t spark your imagination, don’t take one step forward. CANCER (June 22-July 22). It wasn’t going to work between you and that cer- tain someone if things stayed the same. Now you’ll have to assess. Have things changed? And if so, have they changed enough to make a difference? LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). There’s some- thing magical about the way a person looks at you with so much hope, trust and big, pure love that your heart can’t help but melt into the warmth of this gaze. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). The people who want you to be nice all the time might actually be trying to control you because your power is a threat. There’s nothing wrong with that edgy, angsty part of you. It’s what will push you to do and be more. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). There are times when being very direct and telling people what you really want works beau- tifully to produce results. Right now you’ll FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE have to do a little more research to get to the desired result. Find out what they want first. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Those who feel oppressed or stuck may currently lack the confidence to revolt, but that doesn’t mean the revolution isn’t coming. Take a picture of the way things are. It won’t stay this way for much longer. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). If you make the world a better place for you, doesn’t that count as making it a better place in general? At least it’s a start. You can scale it up from there. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). It’s al- ways nice to make yourself useful, but don’t for one minute think that it’s necessary. You’re valuable because you inherently are. Give when you want to and are driven to. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’re not doing anything to make the other person jealous, and yet maybe that’s just some- thing that’s built into the equation. You have to admit, there’s something good in it for you. Just don’t overplay your advantage. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Your beauti- ful smile, the way you listen to people, your gracious manners — these things will mat- ter more than anything else you could do to impress or ingratiate yourself. SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAY (June 25). Whatever you think will be the best part of this year, you’re wrong. You’ll grow in ways you weren’t expecting, have adventures you never dreamed of and luck you wouldn’t have called. So open up your mind and fall into this mystery box of a year. You’re in for some thrilling highs and love galore. Scor- pio and Gemini adore you. Your lucky num- bers are: 3, 9, 13, 4 and 22.
