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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (June 16, 2016)
FEATURES 6A Granny’s tired of weddings Dear Annie: When is enough, enough? My granddaughter is get- ting married for the third time in August. We received a “save the date” card six months ago. The irst time this granddaugh- ter got married, I attended the wed- ding and gave her a generous gift. The second time, I sent a card with a small check. But this is going too far. My question is, am I obligated to attend this wedding? It is out of state, which means a plane fare, hotel and yet another gift. I say “no more.” A simple card will sufice. People say I am wrong, but there comes a time when “no” is the only answer in my book. My daughter is upset that no one in the family went to her other daughter’s wedding — which was also her second mar- riage and in another state. I would like to know what you think. — A Grandmother Who Doesn’t Get It Dear Grandmother: If you were unrelated, we’d say a card is perfect. But you are not just any guest. You are the grandmother and this puts you in a separate category. (Not to mention, third weddings should be very small affairs.) No one is obligated to attend any wedding, particularly a second Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar or third. But your daughter obvi- ously wants the support of her fam- ily and your blessing would mean a lot. If you can afford to attend, it would be a kindness to do so, but we understand the hardship of an out-of-state wedding. You also are not obligated to keep giving gifts for subsequent marriages. But again, as the grandmother, you may wish to send something small, such as a picture frame or bottle of wine. The point is not to create a rift, upset your daughter or make your granddaughter think you love her less because she can’t seem to get her act together. We say, send her a lovely card with a small token gift. Add that you are so sorry you can- not attend, but you will be thinking of her. Dear Annie: You would be a hero to English teachers every- where, and a help to many people, if you would use your column to explain when to use “I” and when to use “me.” “I” is a subject pronoun (in the same group with we, she, they, etc.). “Me” is an object pronoun (as in us, her, him and them). “I” never is used after a proposition. To me, it’s simple. Use “me” where you would use “us,” and use “I” when you would use “we.” — A Faithful Reader Dear Faithful: We know many readers’ eyes glazed over as soon as you said “subject pronoun.” But your basic instruction is good — use “me” when you would sim- ilarly use “us,” and use “I” when you would similarly use “we.” We’ve noticed this happens most often when people think using “I” is more classy than using “me.” No, it’s not. Sometimes, using a different pronoun or the singular version makes it obvious which is the correct choice. We’ve heard people say, “Jim and me went to the store,” but if you remove “Jim,” you’d never say, “Me went to the store” (unless you are Cookie Monster). And for all those who are still paying attention, the correct phrase is “between you and me.” Please. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, JUNE 16, 2016 Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Name the feeling. It will help you experience it. Names have power. Once you put a name to it, it will be so much easier to release it or hold tight to it — whichever you need to do. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). New people — distant, strange or foreign — are all very interesting to you. The real gold is when you become fascinated by the sweet person in your realm who has been there all along. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Happiness isn’t something that’s granted to you. You’ll create it, and then you’ll enjoy it and keep it inside your very attractive energy all day long and into the night. This will be among your favorite days. CANCER (June 22-July 22). The inter- esting parts will fall in between other things — nonchalant oddities that make you smile. You’ll point things out to enrich the lives of others as you direct their attention. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). People who are too restrained make you nervous. Plus you don’t believe them. That’s why you’ll poke around and see if you can get a reaction and more information. You need a better sense of a person’s character before you trust. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). To be present to another person’s pain is to expose your- self to it and risk possibly getting hurt, too. But that’s what friends do. You’ll do it again and again this weekend. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Sometimes the inventor is the last one to know exactly what’s been created. Being too close to the work causes a loss of perspective. You’ll be in such a position. It’s too early to comment on or name what you’ve made. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). When you FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE know that the story has a happy ending, it makes it easier for you to go through the ups and downs of it. Eat the salad; later there will also be cake. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You find it easier to hang out with people who share your favorite interests, but this is not a prerequisite to enjoying your friendship. In fact, you’ll be quite enriched by someone very different from you this weekend. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). When a person tries their darndest, you respect the effort, regardless of the result. Today, you might be on the fence about the efforts made by those close to you. Be a good coach. Cheer them on to do better. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Backward logic will be part of it today. Maybe it was a cover-up. Maybe it was about trying to fix something that was so broken to begin with that it never had a chance. If you must throw up your hands and start over, it’s un- derstandable. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). The one who makes an excuse for a partner is being loyal, but perhaps to a fault. The way to help people grow to their best selves is to expect them to be that. FRIDAY’S BIRTHDAY (June 17). The be- ginning of the story sets up many promis- es and clues. What do you think? Will this work for you? Your wishes for the year will come true in an accelerated way through July. September and October focus on ex- panding your family and the business you do together. This will be among your favor- ite holiday seasons. Aries and Libra adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 4, 25, 43, 18 and 19.
