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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (June 7, 2016)
FEATURES 8A Wife longs for intimacy Dear Annie: My husband does not like to have any physi- cal contact whatsoever, except for a peck hello or goodbye. He does not like to be touched. There is no cuddling. We don’t have sex. There is nothing. We’ve been married for eight years, and I can guarantee that we had more sex prior to our wed- ding than we’ve had since. I have never met anyone like this. I long for an intimate relation- ship. Whenever we had sex, it was because I initiated it or com- plained that we never had sex. It’s been eight months now and I just don’t have it in me to try any- more. And he obviously doesn’t miss it. We’ve attempted counseling, but it was short-lived. He never has given any reason as to why he is this way. Do I stay or do I go? — Lonely Dear Lonely: Does your hus- band have other redeeming qual- ities or does the lack of intimacy trump everything else? Has he had a physical checkup? It could be a hormonal imbalance like low tes- tosterone, or erectile dysfunction. Is he asexual? Is he gay and using the marriage to stay in the closet? Is he depressed? Has he lost inter- Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar est in you? Is he having an affair? These are all possibilities that should be explored. Don’t be coy. Ask him directly about each of these issues. You can offer to accompany him to his doctor to discuss it. You can insist that the two of you return to counseling to sort this out. But if he refuses to talk about the problem and will not seek treatment of any kind, your decision is whether you are better off with him or without him the way he is. Dear Annie: “Mom of Three” sounds like my husband’s mother. “Mom” said that ever since her son married, he spends all of his time with his wife’s family and she rarely sees him. There may be signiicant reasons why her son doesn’t want to visit, and it may have nothing to do with his wife. I’ve been married to my hus- band for 20 years. He was raised in a strict home with a physically and mentally abusive father and a neurotic mother who did noth- ing to protect him and his two siblings. At 50, my husband still has serious scars, both physi- cal and mental. His mother is in total denial of her son’s abu- sive upbringing. Whenever he mentions it, she scolds him for talking about family matters and quickly changes the subject. In addition, his parents are not shy about sharing their racist, big- oted ideas in public, which makes social outings embarrassing and uncomfortable. The facade his family pres- ents to others is totally superi- cial. He can barely tolerate being in their presence and often makes excuses to avoid contact with them. — His Wife Dear Wife: There are always two sides to every story. Any par- ent whose grown child avoids them (whether newly married or not) should take a good look at their own behavior to make sure it is not the reason for the estrange- ment. And if it is, the child should have the gumption to say so. Behavior cannot be changed if it is not recognized and addressed. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, JUNE 7, 2016 Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). You’ll have a few choices about whom to deal with in busi- ness, and there’s a comparable risk factor between them. Any way you go, it will work out. Trust first, and whomever you deal with will prove trustworthy next time. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You enjoy people who have their own opinions, and the day will be peppered with banter, inter- esting arguments and fine points that differ from your own. This is the kind of intellectual challenge that keeps you on your game. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’ve built something that’s not just for you. It’s for you and your group, your loved ones, your friends and the next generation. They all take a bit of ownership. This will live on be- yond any of you. CANCER (June 22-July 22). The seem- ingly good advice you get in the morning will contradict other seemingly good advice of the afternoon. Now what? Neither is perfect for you. Keep listening. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Allow people to help you, even when you don’t need it. What is the point of trying to be strong all of the time when that only serves to alienate oth- ers and rob them of the chance to know their own generosity? VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). There’s a time to spoil your loved ones silly, and that time is not now, nor is it most days. Make it special, or they’ll go rotten. As Euripides said, “When love is in excess, it brings a man no honor, nor worthiness.” LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Money talks in a language that, while not exactly universal, is certainly widely understood. It won’t solve today’s problems completely, but it will solve FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE them temporarily just fine. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). The answers are not blowing in the wind, written on the wall, out there or within you. Today there sim- ply are no answers. Don’t let it discourage you from asking, though, because it con- nects you with the other curious minds. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). It’s not like you to be suspicious of someone who wants to get to know you better. Therefore, if you’re having that suspicion, take note. It’s significant. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Are you feeling someone’s pain more than your own? It’s either a sign that you’re emotional- ly intertwined with a person who needs your support or that you’re too immersed in busi- ness that’s not your own. Which is it? AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Different things make you happy at different times of life. For some there will be enjoyment from good food, good drinks and a bad girl or boy to share them with. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You can’t hold on to a lot of items while you climb a ladder. You have to set things down on the way up, and hopefully they will still be there when you need them on the way back down. WEDNESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (June 8). A sprinkle of dumb luck will start a very smart venture. Legal and clerical matters will work in your favor this month. Someone will buy an idea of yours in in July. September and October show you applying yourself to a different kind of work. The main feature is love and taking care of beings who need it in 2017. Capricorn and Libra adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 4, 40, 2, 44 and 17.