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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (June 7, 2016)
Wife longs for intimacy
Dear Annie: My husband
does not like to have any physi-
cal contact whatsoever, except for
a peck hello or goodbye. He does
not like to be touched. There is
no cuddling. We don’t have sex.
There is nothing.
We’ve been married for eight
years, and I can guarantee that we
had more sex prior to our wed-
ding than we’ve had since. I have
never met anyone like this.
I long for an intimate relation-
ship. Whenever we had sex, it
was because I initiated it or com-
plained that we never had sex.
It’s been eight months now and I
just don’t have it in me to try any-
more. And he obviously doesn’t
We’ve attempted counseling,
but it was short-lived. He never
has given any reason as to why he
is this way. Do I stay or do I go?
Dear Lonely: Does your hus-
band have other redeeming qual-
ities or does the lack of intimacy
trump everything else? Has he had
a physical checkup? It could be a
hormonal imbalance like low tes-
tosterone, or erectile dysfunction.
Is he asexual? Is he gay and using
the marriage to stay in the closet?
Is he depressed? Has he lost inter-
est in you? Is he having an affair?
These are all possibilities that
should be explored. Don’t be
coy. Ask him directly about each
of these issues. You can offer to
accompany him to his doctor to
discuss it. You can insist that the
two of you return to counseling to
sort this out. But if he refuses to
talk about the problem and will
not seek treatment of any kind,
your decision is whether you are
better off with him or without him
the way he is.
Dear Annie: “Mom of Three”
sounds like my husband’s mother.
“Mom” said that ever since her
son married, he spends all of his
time with his wife’s family and
she rarely sees him. There may be
signiicant reasons why her son
doesn’t want to visit, and it may
have nothing to do with his wife.
I’ve been married to my hus-
band for 20 years. He was raised
in a strict home with a physically
and mentally abusive father and
a neurotic mother who did noth-
ing to protect him and his two
siblings. At 50, my husband still
has serious scars, both physi-
cal and mental. His mother is
in total denial of her son’s abu-
sive upbringing. Whenever he
mentions it, she scolds him for
talking about family matters and
quickly changes the subject. In
addition, his parents are not shy
about sharing their racist, big-
oted ideas in public, which makes
social outings embarrassing and
The facade his family pres-
ents to others is totally superi-
cial. He can barely tolerate being
in their presence and often makes
excuses to avoid contact with
them. — His Wife
Dear Wife: There are always
two sides to every story. Any par-
ent whose grown child avoids
them (whether newly married or
not) should take a good look at
their own behavior to make sure it
is not the reason for the estrange-
ment. And if it is, the child should
have the gumption to say so.
Behavior cannot be changed if it
is not recognized and addressed.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, JUNE 7, 2016
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You’ll have a
few choices about whom to deal with in busi-
ness, and there’s a comparable risk factor
between them. Any way you go, it will work
out. Trust first, and whomever you deal with
will prove trustworthy next time.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You enjoy
people who have their own opinions, and
the day will be peppered with banter, inter-
esting arguments and fine points that differ
from your own. This is the kind of intellectual
challenge that keeps you on your game.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’ve built
something that’s not just for you. It’s for
you and your group, your loved ones, your
friends and the next generation. They all
take a bit of ownership. This will live on be-
yond any of you.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). The seem-
ingly good advice you get in the morning will
contradict other seemingly good advice of
the afternoon. Now what? Neither is perfect
for you. Keep listening.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Allow people to
help you, even when you don’t need it. What
is the point of trying to be strong all of the
time when that only serves to alienate oth-
ers and rob them of the chance to know their
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). There’s a time
to spoil your loved ones silly, and that time is
not now, nor is it most days. Make it special,
or they’ll go rotten. As Euripides said, “When
love is in excess, it brings a man no honor,
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Money talks in
a language that, while not exactly universal,
is certainly widely understood. It won’t solve
today’s problems completely, but it will solve
FRANK AND ERNEST
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
WIZARD OF ID
ROSE IS ROSE
them temporarily just fine.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). The answers
are not blowing in the wind, written on the
wall, out there or within you. Today there sim-
ply are no answers. Don’t let it discourage
you from asking, though, because it con-
nects you with the other curious minds.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). It’s not
like you to be suspicious of someone who
wants to get to know you better. Therefore,
if you’re having that suspicion, take note. It’s
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Are you
feeling someone’s pain more than your
own? It’s either a sign that you’re emotional-
ly intertwined with a person who needs your
support or that you’re too immersed in busi-
ness that’s not your own. Which is it?
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Different
things make you happy at different times of
life. For some there will be enjoyment from
good food, good drinks and a bad girl or boy
to share them with.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You can’t
hold on to a lot of items while you climb
a ladder. You have to set things down on
the way up, and hopefully they will still be
there when you need them on the way back
WEDNESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (June 8). A
sprinkle of dumb luck will start a very smart
venture. Legal and clerical matters will work
in your favor this month. Someone will buy
an idea of yours in in July. September and
October show you applying yourself to a
different kind of work. The main feature is
love and taking care of beings who need it
in 2017. Capricorn and Libra adore you. Your
lucky numbers are: 4, 40, 2, 44 and 17.