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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (June 2, 2016)
FEATURES 6A Man controls money, meds Dear Annie: I’ve been mar- ried for 29 years. I have three sons who are all grown. I held a job only for a few years of that time. I am not working now. I have cus- tody of one grandson, and babysit him and another grandson. For the past ive years, my husband and I haven’t gotten along. He is so controlling. He took the car and bank account card away. Now he won’t let me touch any money, and I’m stuck in the house with no way to get anywhere. I have to cook what he buys, whether I like it or not. I have to beg for a soda. He will only buy water for me. I’m not allowed to have anything. My mom has tried to help with shampoo and stuff. The little money I get from babysitting I use for toothpaste and body wash. I moved into a spare bedroom a year ago. Now he won’t pay for my doctor visits and leaves my medications at the pharmacy for weeks at a time. I have asthma, high blood pressure and a blood disorder. I need those medica- tions. I’m scared he will hurt me if I try to go to the bank for money. Is this abuse? — Help Me, Please Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar Dear Help: Yes, this is abuse. Your husband doesn’t have to hit you to be an abuser. Controlling all the money, as well as access to your medications and doctors, is also a form of abuse. Please contact the National Domes- tic Violence hotline (thehotline. org) at 1-800-799-SAFE. Some- one there can help you ind the safest way to leave this situation. Please don’t wait. Call right now. Dear Annie: My daughter was recently a bridesmaid in a wedding. The bride was one of her closest friends growing up, and I always thought of her as a second daughter. My husband and I looked at her registry and purchased expensive china for her that cost us hundreds of dollars. We just received her thank-you note in the mail. It was a postcard with a short message thanking us for the “dinnerware.” I am greatly disappointed to have received a postcard instead of an actual, thought- ful, handwritten note. I know it’s the thought that counts and we should be grateful to receive an acknowledgement since so many newlyweds don’t even bother, but does this genera- tion lack the iner skills of pro- prietary and manners? I know I taught my daughter better than that and she sent personalized thank-you notes for her wedding gifts. Should I say anything to the bride? — Concerned Mom Dear Mom: Please don’t say anything to the bride. As close as you may be, you are not her mother. We know you are dis- appointed in the quality of your thank-you note, and we under- stand. However, you did receive an acknowledgement of your gift, along with a “thanks” of some kind. That will simply have to do. A proper thank-you note should always say something speciic, gracious and apprecia- tive. It’s too bad so many brides and grooms don’t realize how important that small effort is to the recipient. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, JUNE 2, 2016 Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Cosmic rule of thumb: If you hear the same thing three times from unrelated sources, listen. Maybe you don’t agree, but that’s not the point. Listening — that’s the point. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Who is dragging you down? Don’t be fooled by power plays and positions. Cranky people are weak people today. Stand your ground and things will go your way. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). What will it take to get the attention flowing your way? You’ll be weighing this out, judging your crowd and deciding what you’re willing to do for a smile or an opportunity. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’ve been wounded, and you’ll seize the chance to help those who are currently going through similar pain. Wounded healers are the best healers, because they understand what life is like from the patient’s position. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). If and when you choose to forgive, it won’t be about the oth- er person; it will be about you. It takes up a lot of energy and mental space to hold a grudge. Just think of what you might do with the extra RAM! VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’ll interact with people who are so different from you that you won’t even be sure how to talk to them, but it’s never stopped you before. Common ground will be easily found and then come the real treasures. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’ll find yourself torn in the middle of ideas about who you’ve been and who you want to be. This is about habits. The old habits call you back, and the new ones beckon you forward. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You don’t idolize anyone; nor do you demonize any- one. You really have a balanced view of who people are and why they do what they do. This will serve you well in the afternoon. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The crowd will come to you with outstretched hands. If only you could help them all. Who knows, maybe you will! If you do, it will be a byproduct of you following the impulses to help yourself. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You’ll do a new thing, the most important moments of which will be the first moments. Your brain will store those away as nuggets of inspiration and solace for years to come. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). The wise thing to do will be to hang back and quietly observe the social dynamics going on in the moment. When the time comes, you’ll insert yourself into the situation that’s a fine fit. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Whose agenda are you attending to? Everyone seems to want something from you. But what do you want? If you don’t know yet, all will be fine. If you decide by tonight, all will be better. FRIDAY’S BIRTHDAY (June 3). There’s none cooler than you this year. “Cool” is not an easy thing to be, by the way. It in- volves a level of self-possession that few can attain. You’ll be celebrated in July and again in November. Hopefully this won’t be more attention than you can handle! The friendships that sustain you will provide fun extras in September. Capricorn and Aries adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 5, 9, 20, 50 and 5.