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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (May 9, 2016)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, MAY 9, 2016 FEATURES Forgive nasty sister or not? Dear Annie: I have suffered with lymphoma for 17 years, but praise God, I am doing well now. Ten years ago, my sister, “June,” was tested to see if she could be a bone marrow donor. She was a perfect genetic match and bragged that she had the “right stuff.” The donation wasn’t nec- essary at that time, but it was reassuring. June began calling me weekly to tell me her troubles with her cheating husband, her inances, her dog, etc. I was supportive and helpful. Last year, I was hos- pitalized with severe pneumo- nia, spent two weeks in intensive care, and was so weak I ended up in a wheelchair. June never once called or visited, nor did she return any of my calls. My oncol- ogist informed me that I desper- ately needed the bone marrow transplant or I might die. When I inally talked to June, she told me my illness was mak- ing her anxious. I asked if she could donate blood so that I could get ready for the bone marrow transplant. She laughed and said, “I thought you were supposed to die last month.” She then told me that donating blood didn’t it into her schedule, and would I please Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar stop telling her my troubles. She insulted me for 20 minutes before hanging up. Shortly after, she sent me a letter, which I assumed would be an apology. Boy, was I wrong! She said I had made no effort to understand that she was frightened, and the rest of her let- ter was nothing but cruel words. I realized then that she was never going to donate. I was for- tunate to ind a wonderful unre- lated donor, had the transplant, and spent ive months in the hospital. June just sent me a birthday gift. I can’t bring myself to open it and I can’t seem to throw it away. Annie, I don’t want to deal with June’s self-pity again, but I often cry about losing a sister. How can I get over my hurt? — Disappointed in Texas Dear Texas: June’s fears and anxiety are no excuse for nasti- ness. The way to get over your hurt is to forgive her for being cowardly and self-centered, and decide whether you are willing to maintain the relationship on a more supericial level, expect- ing much less from her from now on. If so, open the gift and send a thank-you note, the same way you would for a distant acquain- tance. Otherwise, return her gift unopened and look for supportive friends and family members else- where. You can start with sup- port groups through the Ameri- can Cancer Society (cancer.org). Dear Annie: You had a letter from “Stressed Daughter,” who is the primary caregiver for her elderly mother. Please suggest that she contact her local area agency on aging. She can search by ZIP code at www.n4a.org. I work for the local Depart- ment of Aging and Long Term Care in my area, and we offer an extensive variety of support and information. — Trying to Help Dear Trying: Thank you for the additional, useful suggestion. We hope anyone in this position will check their local area agency on aging for assistance in inding resources. 5A Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). The fear of travel, called “hodophobia,” is common among homebodies and adventurers alike. The only difference is that the adventurers who suffer from this phobia decide to go places in spite of their fear. That’s your category now. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). It is easier to be patient with the faults and imperfections of others when you recognize that you have your own tidy set and would benefit greatly from such courtesy. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Those who cannot distinguish need from greed are dan- gerous influences on everything and each person around. Much trouble can be avoided by clinging to the virtues of humility, modesty and efficiency. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Someone is trying to connect heart and soul to you while being too unsure to connect via mobile phone. You’re so sensitive now that you can feel when people are thinking about you. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). If you wind up pay- ing someone to fix your problem, try to get as much information and experience from the process as you can so you can be more self-sufficient the next time something like this comes up. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Long ago some- one dear to you didn’t treat you with the care you needed or the respect you deserved. You can be sure that this person has regrets — not that it brings you any satisfaction. (Well, maybe a little!) LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You use what you need and gladly give the rest to others. To you it’s not even generosity, really; it’s just keeping the resources flowing. It’s the kind of giving that comes at no loss to you. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’re proud of a loved one — as proud as anyone could be in fact. Even so, you can’t claim the victory as your own. Focus on your own domain of excel- lence this afternoon. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Even when you’re doing everything possible to make your dream happen — and doing it all very well at that — dreams take time to come together. So if you haven’t started, get started immediately! CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). There will be surprising good fortune when you keep to your course, which includes doing the some- times tedious and currently very unglamorous daily work. Low-key efforts will pay off in excit- ing ways. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Instead of trying to solve the problem, you try to solve yourself. You’ll be effective in that to some de- gree. Improvements in your all-around situa- tion will render the original problem powerless over your experience. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Don’t conflate and confuse your suffering with creativity. The two are not intertwined; nor are they inter- changeable. You’ll be far more prolific when you give up the habit or person that is causing you pain. TUESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (May 10). After this year, you’ll no longer expect to be in relation- ships with people who meet you halfway. You’ll learn what it’s like to be so brilliantly compatible that big compromise just isn’t necessary. Love will take you for a spin and land you in a new and improved version of home. You’ll make good in a trade at the start of 2017. Pisces and Gemini adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 11, 3, 25, 9 and 21.