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5A THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, JANUARY 4, 2016 Ferguson: ‘I don’t know how I’m going to ... go on without her’ Continued from Page 1A The family is awaiting the autopsy report and toxicology results, which won’t be ready for several months. Whittney had a history of congestive heart failure; whether this ail- ment contributed to her death is unclear. “We can’t make assump- tions,” Geisler said. What is perfectly clear, however, is that Whittney’s death ended a three-year battle that transformed a likable, edu- cated, upwardly mobile young woman with a promising career as a dental assistant into anoth- er substance-abuse statistic. “It destroyed her life,” Geisler said. ‘It doesn’t discriminate’ Rather than downplay Whittney’s addiction, her family has chosen to speak publicly about it, to turn Whit- tney’s story into a cautionary tale. They hope to cast some light on the malignant drug problem in Astoria, Knappa and surrounding communities that can’t be addressed by pre- tending it away. “Nobody wants to go pub- lic; that’s the problem,” Geis- ler said. In Whittney’s obituary and at her memorial service — held Friday at Knappa High School, where Whittney grad- uated in 2008 — Geisler made her daughter’s struggle plain. Though deep in mourning, Geisler spoke with clarity and conviction to the nearly 300 people gathered to pay their respects. “I need to talk about it,” she said in an interview with The Daily Astorian. “I don’t ever want another family to go through what I’ve gone through.” Geisler, in fact, warned Whittney that, if she should die from an overdose, Geisler would tell her daughter’s sto- ry as a lesson to all who may learn from it. “I said, ‘I’m not hiding it; I’m not sweeping it under the rug,’” she said. “She knew that I was going to speak about it and talk about it and make a difference, because it has to start somewhere.” The tragedy serves as a reminder of how pervasive heroin and meth usage has be- come in Clatsop County — as it is nationwide — and how easily the drugs can abridge people’s futures and the hap- piness of their families. Sgt. Mike Smith, of the Clatsop County Sheriff’s Of- ¿ce, said that when he joined the county’s drug task force he couldn’t believe the amount of heroin available. “At that time, I had 13 or 14 years in law enforcement,” he said. “I was shocked.” Courtesy of Brittany Ferguson Whittney Ferguson, from Knappa, took this selfie Dec. 10, the day she re- lapsed for the last time. She died the following morning while undergoing detox. The old stereotypes of the bums and junkies on Skid Row didn’t apply. A good percentage of today’s hero- in users hail from middle- or upper-class backgrounds, and many of them — like Whit- tney — began by abusing pre- scription painkillers. “It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor. It doesn’t dis- criminate,” Geisler said. ‘Downhill’ The details of Whittney’s ¿nal years aren’t pretty. Around the time she began missing work because of her drug use, Whittney’s fami- ly noticed that some of their possessions had disappeared: money, coins, silver, a wed- ding ring that had belonged to Geisler’s grandmother and other treasures. “I never thought in a mil- lion years my kids would steal anything from me, ever, especially my grandmother’s wedding ring,” Geisler said. “By the time I even reali]ed it was gone, it’d been gone for months.” From clothing to laptops, Whittney sold anything of value. “That’s the reality of being an addict,” said Brittany Fer- guson, Whittney’s older sister, herself a heroin and meth ad- dict approaching eight months of sobriety. “You lie, cheat and steal.” Whittney lost her job and her residence. Her car was re- possessed. She lived with her family on and off, until Geis- ler and her husband, Ronnie, reali]ed that letting Whittney live with them was merely en- abling her. “You try that drug one time, maybe twice, and every- thing gets taken away slow- ly,” Geisler said. Whittney entered rehab more than half a do]en times in Oregon, Washington and California. She repeatedly Photo courtesy of Linda Geisler Joshua Bessex/The Daily Astorian Family and friends watch a video tribute during a memorial service for Whittney Fergu- son at Knappa High School Friday. overdosed on heroin, landing her in and out hospitals. High on meth, Whittney would slip into psychosis during which she hid under beds or in closets, talked to herself, talked to plants, talk- ed to people who weren’t there. One time, she turned on the gas stove and left it on. “It just all went downhill real fast,” Geisler said. Whenever Whittney tried to stay clean, she became impatient with her progress. Accustomed to the instant grati¿cation that comes with using, she grew frustrated that she couldn’t put her old self back together fast enough. “You want everything in your life back. You want your job, your car, your house — you want it all back right now,” said Brittany, reÀecting on her own experience as an addict. “Well, your life didn’t get this way in three months or six months. It’s taken years for your life to get here, so you need to give yourself a couple years to get it back.” More importantly, she add- ed, “You have to want it more than you want the drug.” ‘My love can’t save you’ Near the end, Whittney, who had lost a lot of weight, started selling sexually ex- plicit photos of herself to feed her habit. “She was soliciting her body,” Geisler said. “She would take pictures and do things, and then these men would send her money.” This behavior may not have escalated into straight- up prostitution, but “she was de¿nitely using her body to get money,” Casey Wray, Whittney’s cousin, said. The last time she remained clean for a stretch, the light had left her eyes. “She wasn’t the same per- son. She wasn’t there. You could tell,” Brittany said. “She just looked unhealthy and not happy.” While Whittney sought treatment in California, her mother called her every day after getting home from work, and every night before going to bed. “‘You can either,’ I said, ‘beat this thing and make a stand and educate other peo- ple on it, or you can become a statistic,’” Geisler told her. “I thought, ‘Maybe she’ll get it this time. Maybe this will be it.’ But you think that every time they go in.” Whittney passed away shortly thereafter. “In the back of my mind, I always thought it was a possi- bility because she was an ad- dict,” Geisler said. “You have to prepare yourself mentally for it, although you can never prepare yourself when it real- ly happens.” What remained of Whit- tney’s belongings could ¿t into two suitcases, two boxes and a tote bag: clothes, jewel- ry, makeup, ¿ngernail polish, a journal and the Holy Bible. “‘I love you more than anything in this whole entire world. My love can’t save you,’” Geisler had told her daughters. “And that’s so hard for a parent to say.” Fighting for their lives Upon discovering Whit- tney’s addiction, Geisler felt ashamed and embarrassed — and tremendously guilty. “A mother is supposed to protect (her) children from ev- erything that comes around,” she said. “I didn’t drink. I didn’t smoke. I didn’t raise them to be this way. We had dinner every night together.” For many years, Geisler, a longtime employee at Safe- way in Astoria, automatically judged the heroin users hang- ing around the store as losers and dopers too la]y to get their acts together. “That’s the attitude I had towards them because I wasn’t educated; I didn’t know anything about that,” she said. “And then, after you live it, and you see it, you al- most feel sorry for them be- cause it’s such a horrible, ugly drug.” But Geisler’s views gradu- ally softened when she came to accept that Whittney had almost no control over her habit. “You’re raised with all these great morals,” she said, “but that drug just ...” “... Changes you into a completely different person,” Brittany said. The stigma attached to addiction can be so powerful and persistent that many fam- ilies won’t acknowledge the addiction even after it kills a relative, Wray said. “They all know what they died from, but nobody’s say- ing it,” Wray said. “It’s just kind of behind the back in the community.” For addicts to feel com- fortable seeking help, the stig- ma must go away, said Kerry Strickland, of Knappa, whose son, Jordan Strickland, died of an overdose last summer, 13 days before his 25th birth- day. “This is a disease, and these kids didn’t choose to be addicts. They were ¿ghting. They were ¿ghting for their lives,” Strickland said. “I be- lieve these two kids would have kept ¿ghting for sobri- ety, to be clean. I believe they had that in them.” ‘Toad’ Geisler and Strickland are working to open a local chap- Whittney Ferguson rides her horse in 2008, just a few years before her addic- tion began. ter of the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Depen- dence. “Our goal is to bring it here to Clatsop County, where we can provide re- sources,” Strickland said. Brittany said that an- ti-drug education needs to begin in middle schools, led not just by law enforcement or people who have never tried narcotics but by former users willing to share their stories. For Geisler and Strick- land, the project is bitter- sweet: Though a place that offers tools for drug educa- tion, prevention and treat- ment is badly needed, it’s not going to help Whittney and Jordan. But it is a way to honor them, and possibly to prevent more lost lives. “My daughter was an ad- dict,” Geisler said, “but, yes she was my daughter, and I loved her regardless.” Now the ashes of Whit- tney Ferguson — the care- free girl who loved her hors- es and sheep and took part in 4-H for nine years, and whose family called her “Toad” be- cause, as a baby, “she was a fat little thing that would lay there on her arms and legs like a big toad,” Geisler said — reside in the house where she grew up. “I don’t know how I’m going to get up every single day and go on without her, because I live my life for my kids, and I’m never going to see her walk through my front door again and give me a hug,” Geisler said at Whit- tney’s memorial. “She knew that I loved her, and I’ll miss her so much. It’s going to be really unbearable.” The On-Air Radio Auction is January 23rd, 9am to 1pm Luciaks: They’re set to launch their business this month Continued from Page 1A The Luciaks are due to launch their business, Oregon Mold Medix, an indoor mold consultation, inspection and remediation company, this month. The couple believes it will provide a much-needed service in the area. They hope, in particular, to help low-in- come families, who tend to be disproportionately affected by the problem. Joseph said if 1 in 10 of their remediation projects could be done for a low-income family, then they can have a ³fairly signi¿cant impact with our effort.” “I don’t think those goals are that ambitious,” he added. “We all live here because we love the air outside.” They are excited to get the business off the ground. “By this time next year, I think we will be able to say we have had a bigger impact,” through both their business and charity work, Britta said. They enjoy living in a small, tight-knit communi- ty. The advantage of having good neighbors was evident when, during the summer, By the Way owner Linda Gold- farb temporarily closed her shop to help the couple look for their missing basset hound, Columbo. She located the dog on U.S. Highway 101 near the Sons of Norway Field. “It’s nice to not just be anonymous in the big city,” Britta said. “Here’s it’s so much closer knit.” Joseph agreed. “This place is so neighbor- ly,” he said. “When we walk down the street, I wish the lo- cals would start to adopt the nod, because my arm gets sore from constantly waving at peo- ple.” When not working, Britta and Joseph share time out- doors with Columbo, going outside during storms, hiking and camping. They also enjoy watching documentaries. In Vancouver, Britta and Joseph managed bars, dance clubs and live music venues. They volunteered with the Access to Music Foundation, a nonpro¿t organi]ation that provides children in British Columbia with instruments and music education oppor- tunities. Joseph recently re- signed his post as chairman of the foundation. After heavy involvement at a community level with performing arts and community service, Joseph said, they “haven’t really been culturally stimulated yet down here.” you r loca l Jan itorial & Paper S u pply S tore 503-325-6362 • 800-344-1943 2240 COMMERCIAL ST. ASTORIA Millpond Area Monday-Friday 8 am-5 pm “We’re really looking to get involved in any sort of capaci- ty,” he added. They feel Gearhart is a good place to be and to raise their ¿rst child, due in March. “We’ll give it a good shot here for a while and see how it goes,” Britta said. NEWS TALK FOR THE COAST Providing live a nd loca l new s covera ge every da y Y ou could see it ton igh t, rea d a bout it tom orrow or h ea r it live N O W !