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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 17, 2015)
FEATURES 6A THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, DECEMBER 17, 2015 Our divorce is hurting the kids Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Annie: My husband has been stalling our divorce for two years, trying to keep me broke. We have two children, the oldest in college. Their father and his par- ents badmouth me to them and tell them inappropriate reasons about why I left the marriage, none of which are true. Fortunately, my children know this. But I never thought that my husband would in- volve his children in this manner. I never speak ill of him to the kids. I was truly hoping that we would come out of this on good terms and be able to co-parent like adults. But my husband blames me for everything. He was raised in a home where he was indulged and never had to take responsibility for his actions. He has not been honest with his parents, which might ex- plain why they are upset with me. But they have also treated the chil- dren poorly since the separation. My husband brings in nearly ¿YHWLPHVP\VDODU\EXWKHSD\VD minimal amount of child support. Much of our money is being spent on lawyers because he insists on ¿JKWLQJRYHUHYHU\WKLQJ+LVQHHG to hurt me is only hurting the chil- dren. There are no rules at Dad’s house, because he wants the kids Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar to be able to do things with him that they can’t do with me. He uses money to gain favor, and I believe he thinks they will live with him if he wipes me out. How do I get him to put his children ahead of his hate and greed? — Fighting for My Kids Dear Fighting: It is truly sad that so many parents are willing to hurt the children in order to punish the spouses. You cannot force your husband to be more grown up, so protect yourself. Document every instance of manipulation or paren- tal alienation by him or his parents, and give a copy to your lawyer. It may also help to get counseling for your children (and for you) to weather the storm. Dear Annie: I would like to add to your response to “Wiser Now” and “Foolish Daughter,” whose parents left estates to chil- dren who were less involved in caring for them. The hurt feelings caused when parents show favoritism not only affect the child who has been slighted, but also the relationship the child has with the sibling who was favored — not to mention re- sidual feelings toward the parent. My parents have been dead for years, but I am still acutely aware that my sister was Mom’s favorite. And while I have a relationship with my sister, it is always in the back of my mind that my mother’s treatment of her was different than her treatment of the rest of us. This is especially painful because my sister eventually abused my moth- er, and yet she still received what amounted to an equal portion of her estate because Mom forgave a large outstanding loan. — Still Bitter Dear Bitter: We have stated before that the bequests in a will are often perceived by children DVDUHÀHFWLRQRQKRZPXFKWKH\ were loved by the parent, espe- cially when the bequests are un- equal between siblings. Parents may think they are doing the right thing, but the results can poison the relationship between siblings forever. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Whatever has been keeping you from saying what you think, feeling your feelings and acknowledg- ing your needs will now be lifted. You’ll be free, expressive and well-received to boot! TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Stop making something else more important than your relationship with yourself. There’s a juicy op- portunity that will only surface when you’re being true to you. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Each person resides in his or her own unique reality. It’s a rare joy when you strike upon acres and acres of common ground with someone fan- tastic. There is so much to explore there — what fun! CANCER (June 22-July 22). Someone wants to get to know you better. Don’t worry; you won’t have to talk about yourself. Your ac- tions will tell people who you are — no more explanation than that will be necessary. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). There’s a mount- ing tension that, if you let build without re- lease, could be destructive. Let off steam pe- riodically throughout the day. By the way, you could use a few more tools for stress relief in your arsenal. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Details, rules, lists ... you care, but not to the point of pre- occupation. You’re able to compartmentalize your need for order. When you’ve done what you were supposed to do, you’ll cut loose and have some fun. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Your guiding planet Venus would like to remind you that there is no universal formula for beauty, hu- mor, art or love. Therefore, you’re encour- aged to go beyond what you’ve been taught is “acceptable.” FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You don’t assume that a circumstance is fortunate or unfortunate until you’ve experienced it. Your maturity in this regard will place you among the elite. Whether or not that is fortunate or unfortunate remains to be experienced. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Won- dering if you’re good enough? You can stop wondering now and never wonder again. You were born good enough. The real question is: Which relationships and endeavors are a fine fit for all your goodness? CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Your ex- pectations might be derailed and, because you’re well-versed in the art of making the best of things, this will prove to be a delightful twist in the action. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). After a week of acting according to plan, you’ll be yearning for adventure, and you won’t be alone in this. Suggest a bit of spontaneity and you’ll have no problem finding a partner in fun. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Because you’re not wrapped up in what people think of you, you’ll be the perfect candidate for drawing attention to a cause, entertaining the crowd or taking a social risk that will wake everyone up. FRIDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 18). You’ll add relaxing leisure activities to your list, and pursuing these endeavors will lead to many magical connections and experiences in 2016. The idea you act on in March will pay off immediately and, if you continue on, then again in June. Devoted love will get even stronger through the summer. Pisces and Libra adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 40, 11, 17, 8 and 19.
