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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 14, 2015)
FEATURES 6A Tomorrow’s horoscope Wife getting badmouthed Dear Annie: I am in a painful position with my mother-in-law. I was pretty sure my husband was talking poorly about me to her, so I asked him whether he had bad- mouthed me to his mother. He to- tally denied it, saying, “Absolutely not!” Well, she was visiting recently, and I walked into the room and overheard them both talking nega- tively about me. I innocently asked what they were discussing and my husband lied outright, saying they were discussing a purchase. My mother-in-law looked like a deer caught in headlights. After she left, I again asked my husband what they were talking about and he reiterated his previ- ous lie. A few weeks later, I got a card in the mail from his mother saying, “If my son ain’t happy, I ain’t happy.” I placed it on my husband’s nightstand. He never said a word and acts as though he didn’t see it. The card has since disappeared. How should I address all of this with my husband and his mom? — Wife on the Outside Dear Wife: Whether or not your mother-in-law likes you is beside the point. Your husband should not be agreeing with her Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar or worse, egging her on in a race to see who can insult you more. When faced with criticism of his wife, he should defend you. Even when you are in the wrong, he should not be badmouthing you to someone outside the marriage. It’s an emotional betrayal, and it shows disrespect. And over time, it can erode the bonds of your mar- riage. Tell your husband this must stop and ask him to accompany you to a counselor. If he refuses to admit there is a problem, go with- out him and work on this. Dear Annie: Often when my husband and I go out with friends, we will see another couple we know along the way. Of course, we politely introduce our friends to the couple. The next thing I know, the two couples are laughing, con- versing and setting up a future time to get together. Meanwhile, I’m standing there feeling like chopped liver. This has happened more times than I can count. The people we’ve run into seem to think it’s their right to take custody of our friends. If it hadn’t happened so often, I wouldn’t be so upset. Is there a way to nicely commu- nicate to people that this isn’t OK? — Annoyed Dear Annoyed: If it’s the same people every time, we’d stop intro- ducing our friends to them. If it is a variety of couples that poach your friends, you have two ways to deal ZLWK LW <RX FDQ EH ÀDWWHUHG WKDW others like your taste in friends and determine not to be upset by it. Friendships aren’t winner-take-all. Your friends can enjoy the compa- ny of others without it changing their friendship with you. The other tactic is to make a brief introduction and then say, “Sorry we can’t stay and chat.” Then escort the couple you are with to the car, down the street, and into the restaurant or wherev- er you are going. Your mistake is allowing their conversation to go on long enough for them to get to know one another and make plans, while you silently fume on the in- side. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, DECEMBER 14, 2015 By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). You’ve a unique kind of confidence. You trust yourself to provide something different than what the others around you know how to give. This will make for highly entertaining and useful interactions. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You know what’s in you — at least you think you know. Tiny doubts will cause you to seek confir- mation from the outside world. Do they rec- ognize who you are? The kindred spirits will. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). To avoid the stress of the unknown, some around you will make inaccurate snap judgments and ill-fated quick decisions. You’ll have more patience. Tolerate the discomfort of the un- known and you’ll be wise. CANCER (June 22-July 22). There’s a person near you who drains your energy in unexplainable ways. His or her company is unavoidable now, so this is a good time to obtain tools for emotional and spiritual pro- tection. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). To avoid fall- ing into an unwanted mood, be proactive. Consciously create the mood around you. Which do you prefer: festive, meditative or other? Put thought into the lighting, music and the scent of the air. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Try not to see a relationship as a fixed entity; rather, it’s a co-creation that can take any number of interesting twists and turns along the way. Don’t like the pattern? Change it! LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Occasionally life brings big change all at once. But most of the time, the big changes happen over the course of hundreds of small changes. Set a new intention, and the baby changes FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE will begin immediately. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). What’s pop- ular is not always right. You’ll see something glaringly wrong with a path that many are following. Before you speak up, anticipate the backlash and formulate your arguments. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The best way you can show your love today is through active listening — giving full atten- tion through your body, mind and spirit. It’s not easy, and that’s what makes it such a loving gesture. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You have the raw ingredients to make magic. It’s just like cooking; you can follow the recipe, or you can experiment. If you choose the latter, expect to fail until you figure it out. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). The hard- est thing to rule is your own appetite (espe- cially when you’re in a place where it can be easily satiated), so celebrate every small win in this regard. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You feel partially responsible for how things turn out in your family, work group and community. As for your whole world — yes, you even feel partially responsible for that. Do try and be realistic about how much is really under your control. TUESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 15). There was a time when you were just finding out about the things that come naturally to you. Now you’re capitalizing on your innate tal- ents and finding ways to put them in action, to do them on purpose and as much as possible. You’ll make alliances in February. May brings a transformation of style. Libra and Scorpio adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 6, 12, 29, 30 and 14.
