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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 8, 2015)
FEATURES 6A THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, DECEMBER 8, 2015 Stepkids ruining relationship Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Annie: My boyfriend and I have been dating for 18 months and would like to move in together and eventually marry. It would be a sec- ond marriage for both of us. He has been divorced for four years and has three children who are just into their teens. I have no children, but have been actively involved in the lives of my many nieces and nephews, and the children of my friends. His kids are the problem. I’m ready to give up the best relation- ship of my life because of them. They curse me, blatantly disrespect me, and are generally unpleasant to be around. They are physically and verbally violent toward each other, their peers and other family mem- bers. They lie and are disrespectful of adults and authority. They gossip and spread rumors. I’ve told my boyfriend about their bad behavior, but they are well-man- nered and courteous in his presence, so he claims not to see it. I’ve at- tempted a heart-to-heart with them, only to be mocked, have my words twisted and lies told about me. I am currently taking anti-anxiety medica- tion over this situation. How can I convince my boyfriend how his children really act? Should I bother? I was raised in a loving re- spectful home and feel totally out of but I want to respond to “Forever Trapped,” who feels she was born the wrong gender, but worries about sur- gical solutions. Creators My son (he was born female, but is Syndicate Inc. living his life as a male) was also con- fused. When younger, he exhibited so Kathy Mitchell much male behavior that I thought he and was a lesbian, but that wasn’t it. He re- Marcy Sugar alized he was transgendered and tran- sitioned from female to male many my element. — Heartbroken in Cal- years ago. He had surgery, and you ifornia now cannot tell he was ever female. Dear Heartbroken: Becoming My son is happily married, liv- D VWHSSDUHQW FDQ EH GLI¿FXOW DQG LW ing as a gay man in the Boston area. doesn’t help that your boyfriend clos- There is nothing wrong with “Forever es his eyes to the problem. If his chil- Trapped.” Her gender identity didn’t dren are violent toward each other PDWFKKHUERG\,KRSHVKHFDQ¿QG and other family members, he is un- a therapist who works with the trans- doubtedly aware of it, but unwilling gendered community. Surgery is ex- to deal with it. pensive and not covered by insurance. Teenagers can be notoriously re- Please don’t give up. Be the person bellious, even under the best of cir- you were meant to be. — Proud Par- cumstances. And their mother could ent of a Transgendered Son EH LQÀXHQFLQJ WKHP QHJDWLYHO\ DV Dear Parent: We wish all parents well. You need to be extremely kind would be as accepting and supportive and patient, but the cursing, lying and as you. Thank you for writing. disrespect must end. And that will Dear Readers: Sunday, Dec. 13, happen only if your boyfriend insists is The Compassionate Friends’ World- on it. Please ask him about family wide Candle Lighting in memory of counseling before the relationship all the children who have died. Please disintegrates. Also, look into the Na- light a candle in the evening at 7 p.m., tional Stepfamily Resource Center local time, and remember them with (stepfamilies.info). love. For more information, log on to Dear Annie: It’s taken a while, compassionatefriends.org. Annie’s Mailbox ARIES (March 21-April 19). The ancient Greek tragedian Euripides said, “Slight not what’s near by aiming for what’s far.” To- day offers a stellar opportunity to get your needs met and it’s right under your nose. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). First you have to believe you can do it. Half-hearted efforts are pointless. Either get into it more fully with a commitment or cut it free and open yourself up to other possibilities. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Strip away what you’ve been taught and you’ll find that you’ve something unique to express. The reason you haven’t expressed it yet is that it’s so much a part of you that you don’t even realize how original it really is. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Last night hit the cosmic “refresh” button while you were sleeping. It’s like you woke up with a new brain this morning. Don’t waste your new thoughts on your old worries. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Wanting to please the crowd could have an adverse affect on your creativity. What kind of pre- sentation would you put on if your audi- ence was only one person, and that one person was you? VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Some are adventurers by choice; others are adven- turers out of necessity. You’ve been both kinds, which is what allows you to be fear- less in today’s scenario. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’re not worried about the same things you used to worry about when you were small, but somehow you still feel as vulnerable as you did back then. Luckily, today brings support, friendship and love. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). There’s not FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE one philosophy you dogmatically believe. You are a student of many trains of thought and you’ll enjoy exploring new ones today. They don’t have to be reasonable or feasi- ble to be interesting to you. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). There is no magic fix. The answer isn’t glamor- ous. There is no success secret — it’s rather obvious what’s needed. Hard work consistently in the same direction will get the job done. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). It’s not so easy to see where you fit in, but it’s clear to see where you don’t, so start with that. When you feel it’s a bad fit, move on quick- ly. There’s no time to waste. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Strong teams are diverse teams. You don’t have to like or understand everyone — it’s better if you don’t. A team of you-clones can’t ac- complish anything beyond what you could accomplish alone. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Not con- tent to keep the regular pace, you’re ready to take a risk. Why creep along when you can fly? What would it take to launch you? You’ll get there faster and you’ll have a bet- ter view too. WEDNESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 9). You’ll do your best work this month and you’ll be recognized in at least three dif- ferent meaningful ways. Apply the bonus you receive in February to club dues or tu- ition. Your social horizons open up in April. There will be a new force for good in your family circle. Group vacations are featured in June. Aquarius and Taurus adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 3, 45, 21, 22 and 19.