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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 3, 2015)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, DECEMBER 3, 2015 FEATURES Tomorrow’s horoscope Living situation not working Dear Annie: My granddaugh- ter, “Tara,” is 27 and a single moth- er of a 4-year-old daughter. I have been the child’s caregiver since birth, and we are very close. When Tara lost her job, we al- lowed her to move in, with the understanding that she would get another job and pay us rent that we would put aside for a down pay- ment on her own place. But it’s been seven months and she hasn’t VKRZHG PXFK LQWHUHVW LQ ¿QGLQJ D job. Tara doesn’t contribute any- thing for the household, nor does she offer to help much around the house. She gets $50 a month in sup- port money from her deadbeat ex, which she uses for cigarettes and gas. We have set several deadlines for Tara to leave, but we know that she would end up living in her car or on someone’s sofa. I am worried about the child. I have threatened to ask for custody, but my husband DQG,DUHDOPRVWDQGRQD¿[HG income. I don’t really want to raise another child. I feel trapped in my own home, DQGLW¶VFDXVLQJFRQÀLFWLQP\PDU- riage. I don’t trust Tara’s judgment. I’m afraid if we ask her to leave, she will take the child and we will nev- er see either of them again. They Dear Annie: I read “Drained and Frustrated,” and wanted you to know that Medicare pays for most of a 100-day nursing home Creators visit if you have had a qualifying Syndicate Inc. three-day hospital stay. Otherwise, once someone’s money runs out, Kathy Mitchell the family should contact the local and VRFLDOVHUYLFHVRI¿FHDQGDVNDERXW Marcy Sugar Medicaid. Many nursing homes will accept a patient even if the ap- may not even survive. We have plication is in process. tried counseling, but it didn’t help. People many times consider What can we do? — Anguished themselves a “failure” because they Grandmother couldn’t take care of a loved one. Dear Grandmother: You keep But nursing facilities have many setting boundaries that you are un- things to offer their residents, along willing to enforce and Tara knows with support for the family. To it. However, your fears are not com- “Drained and Frustrated”: Don’t pletely unfounded, so we under- expect your mother to be happy stand why you feel trapped. Where with your decision. But you can are Tara’s parents? Could they con- have a life beyond caregiving, and tribute to her care? Are there other your mother will be well cared for. family members who would take Who knows, she may even make her in on a temporary basis in order a friend or two. — Nurse Manag- to give you a “vacation”? er at a Long-Term Skilled Nursing You are doing a wonderful thing Facility to raise this 4-year-old in a stable Dear Manager: Hundreds of environment. While there are limits readers wrote to correct us on con- on motivating Tara, most states pro- fusing Medicare and Medicaid. We vide help for raising a young child. should have known better. We ap- Your state or county may have spe- preciate your clarifying that, along FL¿FUHVRXUFHVLQ\RXUDUHDDQG\RX with providing encouragement to can check with your local Depart- “Drained.” Our thanks to all who ment on Aging. wrote. Annie’s Mailbox 5A By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). As the lum- berjacks know, unless you’re Paul Bunyan the first blow does not fell the tree. Luck will favor you as you work methodically, patiently and from many angles. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). People love to give you advice today — whether or not you ask for it, whether or not you want or need it. There will be so many opinions but none worth acting on immediately. Let it sit. Recon- sider in a few days. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Likely you won’t be motivated to move from your spot, stick to your diet or follow your work plan, but you’ll feel so good about yourself when you summon up the self-possession to do it anyway. CANCER (June 22-July 22). There are many around you who expect a reward for everything. You’ll go the extra mile without expecting recompense. This key difference in you will be what sets you apart and elevates your stock. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Usually you learn by doing, but you probably won’t get the op- portunity for hands-on training so you’ll have to learn all you can from watching. The longer and better you observe, the more astute you will become. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Order what you like from the menu of life. What does it matter if you got the same thing yesterday or last week? You know what will please you and there is comfort and efficiency in that to- day. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You do the same things whether or not you think you’re being watched, and people sense that what they see is what they get. Your honesty FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE makes you attractive to people who are sim- ilarly inclined. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). It’s harder to tell how fast things are moving when you’re moving, too. You have to stand still to feel the rush of another person’s pacing. A brief re- prieve will give you perspective. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). There’s a lot to be said for making a few mistakes in the early part of a project. If you were always correct the first time, you wouldn’t make a good teacher later. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Take measures to protect yourself from the emo- tional climate as well as the actual weather. Go where there is sunshine, or at least where you can be around people who have sun- shine in their hearts. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’ll give someone a chance, realizing that if no one ever gave you a chance, you wouldn’t be where you are today. Picking the right some- one ... that’s where things get tricky. Go where the need is great then trust your gut. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). A person who is genuinely decent doesn’t have to go around talking about her recent acts of char- ity and kindness, and the trustworthy don’t make a habit of saying “trust me.” FRIDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 4). There’s an Aboriginal saying: “The more you know, the less you need.” This applies to your year, as new knowledge will have you streamlining your approach, cutting back on expenses and using more efficient tools to get the max- imum results out of life. Joyful relationships will get the lion’s share of your attention. Capricorn and Cancer adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 17, 24, 1, 48 and 36.
