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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 21, 2015)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2015 FEATURES Tomorrow’s horoscope Help for hoarding daughter Dear Annie: Our daughter and her husband are major hoarders. They have two teenage children who have to climb over things to get into their beds. Every room has piles of junk. They will not get rid of anything because “one day, it may be valuable.” They never invite anyone into their home, which is a disaster and in major disrepair. We are concerned for their health, but we’re afraid that if we challenge them, we will be cut off. We are also concerned that WKHLU KRPH LV D ¿UH ULVN 7KHUH LV VR PXFK ÀDPPDEOH VWXII DQG so few clear pathways, that were HYHU D ¿UH WKH\ ZRXOG DOO OLNHO\ die. How can we approach this without disastrous results? — Worried Mother Dear Mother: These types of problems are heartbreaking, be- cause sometimes, there is little you can do. A great deal of hoard- ing consists of simply collecting too much (of anything), having GLI¿FXOW\ JHWWLQJ ULG RI WKLQJV and problems with organization. Many hoarders won’t admit that anything is amiss. First, check to see if your area has a Hoarding Task Force. Then contact the International OCD watch your screaming grandkids all weekend.” (She did.) Annie, I have been through a divorce, my mother did live with Creators me for a while, and I can only Syndicate Inc. pray I get to meet my grandchil- dren before my numbered days Kathy Mitchell are up. and Please share this advice with Marcy Sugar your readers: If you aren’t sure what to say to someone in my Foundation (ocfoundation.org) circumstances, simply say, “I’m for information. The organization so sorry you have to go through also provides referrals and sug- all of this.” I don’t need people gestions for talking to someone trying to convince me that their with a hoarding problem, stress- lives are worse than mine. I would ing positive talk about safety, trade places with any of them in without using judgmental terms a heartbeat. — Dying Too Young such as “junk” or telling them Dear Too Young: Your they live in a “trash heap.” Please friends, like the rest of us, see our ORRNLQWRLWDQG¿QGRXWKRZ\RX own problems as huge hurdles, can best approach your daughter but yours puts theirs into perspec- so she receives the help she needs. tive. Your friends also are trying Dear Annie: ,¶YH EHHQ ¿JKW- to minimize the seriousness of ing a terminal illness for close to your situation because that pro- three years. I never cease to be vides comfort for them, and they amazed by what some “friends” assume it does for you, as well. say to me. Sometimes their com- They are mistaken, but they won’t ments seem so heartless. One know unless you are brave enough friend said, “Well, least your to tell them. You shouldn’t have mother isn’t living with you.” to spend your social encounters (Hers is.) Another told me, “At resenting your friends for these least you’re not going through a thoughtless comments. Explain divorce.” (She is.) And the best that you’d rather talk about other one: “At least you didn’t have to things and tell them why. Annie’s Mailbox 5A By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Is it possi- ble that there is great beauty inside the mess you’re trying to clean up? Perhaps you are too focused on what you think it’s supposed to look like to see the gor- geousness that’s already there. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Your ques- tions will be answered through practice. Repetition is the only way to mastery. There are no shortcuts. Break down the action to an easily repeatable size. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Hope for the best, and don’t fear anything less than that. Fear of mistakes only creates more of them. Besides, falling brings opportuni- ty, too. Getting up after the fall — that’s the very best time to shine. CANCER (June 22-July 22). If there were a prize for “most stamina,” you would have won it by now. Hold on longer if you can, because the real prize will be the di- rect result of outlasting everyone else. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Maintenance requires thinking ahead. There never seems to be a good time for it. You have to make the time. Superior work comes from sharp tools. Take the time to keep yours up, and you’ll prevent future delays. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Self-exam- ination takes courage and confidence. You have both. Looking into your own heart for the flaw is not the easiest way, but it’s the gentlest and least disruptive way. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). When it’s hard, slow down, but don’t stop. Keep a determined mindset. There will be power in your adjustment. People will notice and hasten to assist you. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You want FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE to win, but winning comes in many forms. Often, the one with the prize who is taking a bow in a wash of applause is not the real winner. There’s something thrilling for you under the radar. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). How can reflection make you wise if you don’t have much to reflect on? Get in there and make your mistakes. That’s what will make wisdom accessible to you. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Unlike monkeys, cats and birds, goats do not feel the need to constantly preen themselves. You can relate. You’re in a no-fuss, come- as-you-are kind of mood, and someone is falling in love with your confidence. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). By the time you read this, something will have already happened to drain a bit of your willpower. The bottom line: It will be very challenging for you to get yourself to do anything you don’t feel like doing. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You wish you cared about something, or liked it, or wanted it as much as those around you seem to. But it’s great that you don’t! It frees you to find the thing that will really set your heart sailing. TUESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Sept. 22). You’ll form a more peaceful arrangement with your inner critic, which results in one of your most prolific years to date. Your October interaction with friends will set a precedent. The end of the year shows you making big money, and you’ll reinvest it in January. You’ll travel with a group in the spring. Capricorn and Taurus people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 50, 32, 21, 39 and 45.