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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 15, 2015)
FEATURES 6A Should mom pay for damage? Dear Annie: Last summer, our family spent all of our time helping my newly widowed mother-in-law fix up her large home, which had become run down during her husband’s long illness. During one of the days I took off to help, she backed into the side of our car, causing damage. The repair estimate was $1,000, but she didn’t want to claim it on her insurance for fear her rates would go up. My husband didn’t want to ask her to pay, so we simply drove around with a giant dent in our car. Last week, we were in an accident and our car was totaled. The value we received was reduced due to the prior damage. My husband and I work pub- lic service jobs with low wag- es, and my mother-in-law often talks about how she’s investing her half-million dollars. Am I wrong to think she should pay for the damage she caused to our car while we were fixing her home to save her money? — Trying Not to be Resentful Dear Trying: We under- stand why you expected Mom to pay for the damage, and she should have offered to do so. Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar Nonetheless, we are asking you to think of this with com- passion. Mom is widowed and her ability to generate income is undoubtedly reduced. That “half-million dollar” invest- ment has to last her the rest of her life, while you and your husband will continue to earn. Discuss this with your husband and come to a mutual decision. He is obviously reluctant to ask Mom to pay for this, and per- haps it would be easier to ask her to split the cost. Whatev- er happens, please allow your husband to deal with this as he sees fit, and do your best to forget the rest. It won’t help to dwell on it. Dear Annie: You printed a letter from “No One to Share This With,” about her husband continually watching porn. Her husband is likely a sex addict and his wife is 100 percent cor- rect that he is likely filled with shame. I am a sex addict and a porn addict. I go to 12-step meetings and I have a sponsor. Luckily, I have managed to stay away from porn for seven years. While get- ting into a 12-step program is probably the best thing for this woman’s husband, he will be highly unwilling to go. Some- thing in his life will need to completely fall apart before he is ready to ask for help. Once he does, a 12-step meeting, and possibly a Certified Sex Addic- tion Therapist can help him tre- mendously. But until then, noth- ing will break him free from his computer for any length of time. Many people don’t believe that sex addiction is a real thing, but let me tell you, it is. When sex addicts look at porn, the do- pamine receptors in the brain take off. We used to have to seek out our fathers’ girlie mag- azines, but with the Internet, ev- ery teenager has Porn TV in his back pocket. — G. Dear G.: Thank you for be- ing the voice of experience to- day. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2015 Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Don’t let the complainers bring you down, and don’t buy in, either. It’s immature to think that content- ment shouldn’t be work. You’ve long known that everything is work. Getting used to that idea is part of growing up. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Ask for what you want. If you don’t know who to ask, ask the sky. Astrologically, the odds are in your favor. At the very least, it will help you to ver- balize your wishes. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Tread thought- fully into the subject of money. Avoid acting on your knee-jerk impulses. Finances are an intimate topic and even more so when they impact a special relationship today. CANCER (June 22-July 22). There are so many marketers targeting you on very specific products you’re presently intrigued by that you’d go broke if you followed them all. That’s why you’re developing new rules about what has to happen to get you to “yes.” LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Some suggest the soul is but a vapor. Whether or not it’s true, today you’ll feel as though some wisp of you is intertwining and blending into the sparkling mist of another. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Those who come from Puritanical origins (even though these origins are several generations old) still struggle with the idea that having too much fun is wrong. But is there actually a good reason to put a damper on it? LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’ve been known to listen carefully and without distrac- tion to whatever the other person wants to express (regardless of how well you know the person). Now don’t you deserve a high FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE quality of attention from others? SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Remember that time when your good luck came to you in an envelope labeled “bad luck”? Well, it could happen again, and so don’t presume to know exactly how the fortunes will favor you. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Your talents are many, which is a blessing that makes it much more difficult for you to focus on just one. But focus you must — especially if you’re going to reach that goal you made. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). If you can save someone from loneliness (you can and you have), you’ll be saving that person from other related peril. All it takes is a conversa- tion that reflects your genuine interest in the life of another. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Avoid those for whom overreaction is a favorite pastime. Their episodes of outrage emit toxic bad vibes. Your way is to turn down the indigna- tion and turn up the letting go. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Your rich imagination is a playground you use quite happily by yourself, but it would be even more fun to play there with others. Your vivid descriptions will bring them in. WEDNESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Sept. 16). You expect and receive better on all ac- counts this year. Before the end of the year, you’ll do work out of your heart’s goodness and will turn down the rewards offered, only to receive even richer and unavoidable re- wards. Relationships change and grow through 2016. There will be a big party in your honor. Aries and Aquarius people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 40, 3, 11, 38 and 17.