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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 18, 2015)
FEATURES 6A THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, AUGUST 18, 2015 In-law tries to steal spotlight Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Annie: My daughter has been engaged for several months. Her invitations for the small, fam- ily-only wedding were handwritten and mailed six weeks before the event. The wedding is in two weeks. Yesterday, my sister-in-law an- nounced that she is giving my brother a surprise party on my daughter’s wedding day, three hours after the ceremony begins. It’s two weeks before his actual birthday. And it’s not as though she planned it because we’d have a ton of rela- tives in town for the wedding. There are only two family members who don’t live nearby, and they are only a couple of hours away. She could have scheduled this birthday party at any time. This is the tackiest thing I’ve ever heard of. I don’t even know how to pretend it’s OK. I am just speechless. Your thoughts? — Bride’s Mother Dear Susan: We completely agree that your sister-in-law has done something both tacky and with underlying hostility. You don’t have to pretend this is OK. It is not. Would your husband speak to his sister-in-law about the party and ask that it be rescheduled? Is there any other person who can intercede and for some man she met on the In- ternet. Now she is emailing family members, demanding money and threatening to sue for sole custody Creators of the children. Syndicate Inc. In no way should the writer’s family respond to Mandy’s emails. Kathy Mitchell She sounds like she is serious- and ly mentally ill, and the truth is, Marcy Sugar psychiatry doesn’t always work. People like “Mandy” are resistant convince your sister-in-law that this to the meager therapies offered to UHÀHFWVSRRUO\RQKHU"<RXDOVRFDQ people with severe pathology, and tell her how unhappy and shocked they get worse with age, as they you are by her decision to plan are increasingly isolated, addict- this party in a way that deliberate- ed, rejected, entrenched in their ly takes attention away from your defenses, etc. daughter’s big day. Especially when The only thing to do is nothing. VKHGLGQ¶WFKHFNZLWK\RX¿UVW There is no “rapprochement” with a If she refuses to change her deranged and desperate person. We plans, we recommend you ignore don’t like to advertise our failures, what you can, and accept that but I guarantee that most seasoned your sister-in-law lacks class. Do therapists would agree that people your best to minimize your disap- with the described pathology never pointment and any damage to your get better. — Portsmouth, N.H. daughter and her groom. Put on a Dear Portsmouth: Most chil- good face and make the best of the dren desperately wish for normal, day. Please don’t let anyone ruin it. stable parents. Even when they Dear Annie: I am a psychia- realize a parent is mentally ill and trist with 35 years of experience incapable of such normalcy, they and would like to comment on the still hope for some type of reconcil- letter from “Worried Mom.” Her iation, if only an acknowledgement ex-daughter-in-law, “Mandy,” had that it won’t get better. We appre- multiple affairs, eventually aban- ciate your honesty about therapy’s doning her family and leaving town limitations. Annie’s Mailbox FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE ARIES (March 21-April 19). Accept yourself as a work in progress. You will bond with others through your humanity, not through your perfection. You’re so at- tractive when you let go of needing to do things right. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You appre- ciate a friend who can keep a secret. You also appreciate a friend who can’t keep a secret and gives you fair warning of this inability. Your discretion will be important to the day’s events. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You are the guardian of your joy. Don’t let anyone take it from you, and especially don’t let it slip through your fingers while you’re paying attention to things other than it. CANCER (June 22-July 22). The safe solutions might work, but where’s the fun in that? You are extra-bold in your creativity now, which makes this the perfect time to come up with outlandish solutions to your problems. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Abraham Lincoln said, “When you have got an elephant by the hind leg and he’s trying to run away, it’s best to let him run.” Recognize the things you have no control over and let them go. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Socializing takes effort, but force yourself to do it even though you don’t feel like it now. You’ll at- tract admirers. It’s interesting the way peo- ple fall for you when you couldn’t care less. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Try not to let that vivid and restless imagination of yours roam into dark places. Music, humor and exercise will be best to keep your mind reaching into the light. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Love is pay- ing attention to who a person is and warmly accepting that. Wanting someone to be dif- ferent is the opposite of love. If you are expe- riencing this kind of rejection trying to pass for love, it’s important that you label it. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The wish hasn’t been granted yet, and already you feel thankful for it. Tonight, people feel they can be themselves around you. When you’re relaxed and others are relaxed, the magic sets in. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Your work needs more structure to it. With the right systems in place, you can succeed beyond your expectations. Sign up for a course or enlist the help of a tough coach or teacher. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). The things you want should match up with the things you’re willing to do to get what you want. Look for the discrepancies and decide whether it might be time to adjust your goal. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You weren’t always this person, but the seeds were there and you grew them. You might be surprised at what seeds are in you now. Add water, and then stand back to see what happens. WEDNESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 19). What you think will happen over the next three weeks will indeed, so hold tight to that optimism! The whole team is rooting for you in September (yes, even the jeal- ous ones). Your heart is fulfilled by a loved one’s actions in November. There’s big work to be done to accomplish lifestyle changes in January. Pisces and Aries peo- ple adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 6, 24, 32, 35 and 18.