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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 12, 2015)
FEATURES 6A THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 12, 2015 Bio dad wants back in son’s life Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Annie: I was divorced in 1972 and was given custody of our 2-year-old son. As much as I didn’t want the divorce, my husband was an DOFRKROLFZKRUHIXVHGKHOS,¿QDOO\ realized it was the only way to pro- tect my son. My ex did not use his visitation rights and never paid child support. I remarried when my son was 4. My new husband wanted to adopt KLPEXWP\H[DW¿UVWUHIXVHGWRUH- linquish his rights. When my son was 6, my ex called early in the morning (drunk) and said adoption was OK. When our son turned 10, my ex called wanting to see him. I refused, saying it would be too disruptive to his life. When my son was 18, I asked whether he wanted to know anything about his biological father, but he de- clined. I asked him again at 21, say- ing that people can change and that he should be prepared for the day when his bio dad shows up on his doorstep. He didn’t care. Our son is now 45, and my ex recently called wanting to have our son’s contact information. Instead, I gave our son his biological father’s contact information. He had no inter- est and tossed it away. He considers my husband to be his father. To appease my ex (and hopefully Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar stop him from trying to track our son down), I told him I would send him general information about our son’s life, along with a few pictures. But now I’m having second thoughts, be- cause I know neither my husband nor our son would approve. I have done nothing so far and am stressed about the situation. I would appreciate your opinion. — Second Thoughts Dear Second: If your ex want- ed to track down your son, he could probably do so without any appease- ment from you, but we understand why you are willing to indulge him with photos and information. None- theless, you should not have made such a promise without consulting your son. It is his decision, so talk to him. Explain that you don’t expect him to want a relationship with his biological father, nor does he owe him any information. But it would be a kindness to give the man some peace of mind after all these years. Whatever decision your son makes, please abide by it. Dear Annie: I’m in a similar sit- uation to “Not Jealous, Just Hurt,” whose husband’s ex-wife turned up at all the family funerals. I’ve been married for 25 years and my husband’s mother and daughter think it’s perfectly OK for his ex- wife to be included in family gath- erings. His mother visits with his ex- wife now and then, and the woman is also welcome in her home. None of them, including my husband, seems to care how I feel about the situation. I don’t feel welcome. I’m ready to call it quits. — Hurt as Well Dear Hurt: Your husband has a daughter with his ex-wife. That means his daughter will want her mother at all family gatherings. It means your mother-in-law will invite the ex because her granddaughter wants her there. It means your hus- band will tolerate this for his daugh- ter’s sake. You don’t have to like this situation, but after 25 years, we are surprised you haven’t found a way to deal with it. Unless your husband is actively interested in his ex, this sit- uation should not be so threatening. Please talk to an unbiased third par- W\ DQG ¿JXUH RXW ZKDW \RX FDQ OLYH with. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE ARIES (March 21-April 19). There are some paths you step onto that feel so right, you suspect they are unavoidable. Predes- tined. The wind carries you chariot style and simultaneously rushes in your face. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). There are people out there who could potentially resonate with you, like you, love you -- if they could only get to you. Put yourself in the public eye in a bigger way. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Investigate the options -- there are so many different ways to accomplish your goal. You will be so much more productive than you thought you could be once you find the right system. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Because you live inside your mind, you don’t real- ize how special it really is. That’s why you need people around you like that Pisces and that Capricorn you know who remind you who you are. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You respect your deadlines. Not only that, but you appreciate how the limit pushes and con- centrates your talents. Today you’ll deliver a powerful presentation and do it on time. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Just be- cause you enjoy it doesn’t mean it’s not work. You’ll sweat and toil and smile. To be tired at the end of a day of enjoyment feels so much better than the kind of exhaus- tion that comes from a joyless day. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Today’s real- ization will come like a wakeup call in a five-star hotel: polite and effective. You’ll get up and do things differently than you did when you were “asleep.” SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Your cha- risma is turned up, and most people can’t help but say yes to even your craziest ideas. That means it will be important to keep “no” people around you to keep you grounded and reasonable. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The secret to happiness is simple today. At work, work. When not at work, enjoy your family or have fun doing your own thing -- as long as it’s not working! CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Some of the fun will have to do with a live perfor- mance. If you’re not up to it, make yourself go anyway. Everything will be vivid and memorable in person, so don’t cheat your- self by staying in with the remote. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Judg- ing by certain comments that are aimed at you, it might be hard to tell that family members are actually on your side. The only way to get past this gracefully is to take the high road. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Pay back old debt, or give back by teaching an in- tern or mentoring a lower-level employee. Your best wins come when you are mere- ly showing others how to be successful. THURSDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 13). There’s wild fun at first, but in the weeks to come, this solar return also brings lessons in patience, compassion and kindness. Relationships will grow in ten- derness through the end of the year. Your whimsical idea in September will be a moneymaker. Family members will help one another reach success -- you taught them this. Cancer and Aquarius people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 5, 50, 14, 39 and 48.