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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 7, 2015)
FEATURES 6A Mother’s denial hurts Dear Annie: About three years ago, I did something very stupid. I looked at a solar eclipse. I thought it would last only a minute and, not wanting to miss it, I ran out- side and squinted at it through my sunglasses. I fully acknowledge that I can only blame myself for that. The next days and weeks were some of the scariest of my life. My vision became blurry and I had a hard time focusing. I feared that I might not recover my sight and that my center of vision might always be skewed because I had looked directly at the sun. Thankfully, my vision gradually recovered. But one thing about this episode has left me deeply trou- bled. When I thought I would be permanently blinded, I needed love and support. However, my mother quickly became convinced that I was faking it. She insisted that none of it was real, it was all in my head and I was just imagining every- thing. It was frustrating and confus- ing. Why would she deny that I was having a medical problem? Why would she take a position that could only hurt our relationship? Last week, during an eye exam, the doctor noticed a spot and di- Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar agnosed me with a textbook case of solar maculopathy. I passed this confirmation along to my mother, but even now, she won’t acknowl- edge how wrong, and in some ways cruel, her denial and indif- ference were. In my right eye, I have a dark spot that follows wherever I look. I’ve grown used to it, but it is a constant reminder of this troubling episode. Am I wrong to continue feeling hurt? Or does this reveal something about our relationship and her moral character? — S. Dear S.: Denial is a very pow- erful emotion. It allows someone like your mother to refuse to be- lieve that you have a serious prob- lem and what it could mean to your future. She needed comfort, too, and this is where she found it. Is Mom’s behavior toward you otherwise close and loving? If so, we would put this in the past. Continuing to dwell on the hurt will only make you bitter and will alienate the two of you, which we assume is not what you want. Dear Annie: I’d like to com- ment further on the letter from “Shepherdsville, Ky.,” regarding poor grammar. My pet peeves are those who say “pitcher” for “picture.” In Wisconsin, numerous individuals say “youse guys” instead of “you guys” and “liberry” for “library.” And last, but not least, it irks me when my husband and I are at a restaurant and the server asks, “What can I get for you guys?” I am not a guy. I am far from perfect, and may- be a little picky, but I find these things very annoying. And I, too, feel better now after venting. — Miss Picky in Wisconsin Dear Wisconsin: You’re wel- come. We all deal with small, trivial irritations on a daily basis. Some people are more bothered by them than others, so we’re happy to help when you need to let off a little steam. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, AUGUST 7, 2015 Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Not all the interesting stories are sob stories. It will be a real turnoff when people come to you with their woes today. Empathize and then try to find a silver lining you can point out. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). In the ro- mantic movies, it’s hard to get to love, and once the two leads come together, there’s only five minutes to the credit role. In real life, getting to love is pretty easy, but keep- ing it is hard. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Being in charge can be fun, but the pressure to come up with plan after plan after plan can be intense. What would happen if another person took the helm for a while? Sit back and see. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’re a healer today, and so abide by the basics of the Hippocratic oath. Do no harm, help the sick ones, and be discreet about the whole business. Privacy is an undervalued virtue these days. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). It makes no sense to fight for love. Love for love. That’s the only way. You and a friend will join arms against the monstrous complexities of modern romance. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). There’s a time and a place to seek feedback — this is not it. You can do without their observa- tions. Your instincts are keen enough, and what’s right for you will be totally unique. Don’t invite comment. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Listen up — someone out there is cheering you on. This show of goodwill not only warms your heart, but it also makes you more aware of the peo- ple who could use your encouragement. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Health affects everything — relationships, family, finances, joy and so much more. Anything you do in the name of good health today will have a favorable impact on the rest of your life. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). It does no good to wish for a miracle if you don’t believe in miracles, wishes or magic in general. When you’re low on faith, ask the faith-rich one to do a ritual on your be- half. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You’re the expert on your likes and dislikes. Try to concentrate exclusively on the likes now, because doing so will make you happy and attract favorable results. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Self-edit- ing can lead you to make the appropriate choices that will increase your social status and opportunities. It also can be a buzz-kill that limits your creativity and enjoyment of life. Use in moderation. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). When the big steps seem too dangerous, unrea- sonable or impossible, focus on the small ones. You’ll get your energy back when you succeed in little ways throughout the day. SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 8). It’s a bountiful opening to your year. Money comes this month and love in September. You’ve thought about moving, but stay put awhile. You’ll realize the profound connec- tion you have to the land you stand on. Your strong sense of duty will intertwine with your identity, your destiny and the needs of those around you. Gemini and Taurus people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 4, 15, 26, 38 and 41.