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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 5, 2015)
FEATURES 6A Son resents pushy parents Dear Annie: Whenever I’m at my parents’ house and they have guests, they expect me to “per- form.” I don’t mean playing the piano or tap dancing. I mean they insist I “tell them that story you told me.” Any story they select. I feel I’m being treated as some kind of circus freak. This makes me very uncomfortable, and they know it because I’ve told them. They always promise not to do it again, but then they always do. They can be incredibly selfish. My mother doesn’t want me to speak at family dinners, and lets my siblings bulldoze over every- one. I hated this when I was a kid and still do. Now, whenever she tells people, “Tell them what you told me,” I will say, “I think that story isn’t appropriate for now, if you know what I mean.” Am I being unreasonable? Did I also mention that my par- ents interrogate me about my job and then tell me I’m doing it all wrong? We have fights about what I wear to work. The last time, they told me to wear a shirt and tie to a job where I get my hands dirty. And they did it in front of my ex- tended family. What do I do? — New Jersey Son Dear New Jersey: You learn Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar to accept your parents as they are, and then set boundaries that will allow you to be less upset. Your folks apparently think you are a terrific storyteller, but you do not have to oblige. When they ask you to relate something, it’s fine to say, “Not right now,” and then change the subject. A useful skill is to do so while be- ing polite, even smiling. Never lose your temper. Repeat as often as necessary and take your leave if they won’t let up. Save your conversation for friends who ap- preciate it instead of siblings who talk over everyone. Some parents are notorious for criticizing their children’s choices in everything. Most children figure out how to evaluate what has merit and then ignore the rest, nodding politely instead of arguing. We suggest you practice. Dear Annie: I would like to respond to “At a Loss in Ohio,” whose brother died and she re- ceived no condolences from any- one in her boyfriend’s family, including his children, nor any of his friends. Why would you give people who behave poorly a pass by say- ing she should forgive them? She wasn’t asking them to mourn her brother, so whether they knew him is irrelevant. She was look- ing for emotional support to help soften the sharp edges of the pain. Isn’t that what family and friends do for each other? Their indiffer- ence to her pain is inexcusable and she owes them nothing more. She has every right to feel angry and resentful. — Call a Spade a Spade Dear Call: We agree that these people behaved terribly and said so. But finding forgiveness is for her, not them. She needs to let these people know how disap- pointed she was in their lack of condolences, but she also needs to find a way to let it go or it will poison her relationship with her boyfriend. We should not be so focused on holding onto hurt and anger that we lose track of the oth- er things that matter. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 5, 2015 Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Discretion is a talent, but it also can be learned. Wheth- er or not you were born with the instinct to hold your tongue, your inclination to do so will save someone from embarrassment today. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You’ve thought long and hard about letting some- one off the hook, and today brings the perfect opportunity to do so. Forgiveness brings so many benefits that it almost seems like a selfish act. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). It’s not a competition. That’s what you keep telling yourself, while another part of your brain counters: Then why does it feel like a com- petition? Either way, you won’t be able to stop yourself from winning. CANCER (June 22-July 22). It takes a lot of brainpower to comprehend nature, and the smartest people wonder whether it’s even worth thinking about. The body has intelligence far beyond what the mind can grasp. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). It’s the height- ened circumstances that make life stress- ful — the changes in relationships, jobs, health, location, etc. that bring a curious mix of chemicals to your blood. You can handle it. Give yourself permission to relax. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Does life in- flict the same harsh reality on pessimists as it does on optimists? The law of aver- ages would suggest it; whereas, the law of attraction — you get what you focus on — suggests otherwise. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Action can be impeded, but not intention or disposition. In other words, you can stop a person from doing wrong, but you can’t change the de- sire or the attitude that goes along with it. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). There is al- ways another route to get where you need to go. Seek new direction; find adventure. Once again, you’ll know what it feels like to be the most interesting person in the room. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The thing you dread — it’s not so bad. So go on and get face to face with it. Put your hands in and get a little bit dirty. This will be over soon enough, but only because you were willing to deal with it. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Here’s something you should know: Your magi- cal thinking is a kind of threat to someone who thinks differently. And when your ideas work out brilliantly, try not to rub it in. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). In your current mood, it’s hard for you to like things — you love them instead. Therefore, be stingy with your promises. Your enthusiasm could have you committing more than you’ll be willing to deliver later. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Your mind will be whirring, even when you’re asleep. The best idea will be the new one you come up with now. Don’t be surprised if it’s the only one on the table. THURSDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 6). Over the next six weeks, when you de- cide to do something, it’s as good as done. That’s why it will be wise to take your time with decisions, test them and gather opin- ions from experienced folks. Your well-exe- cuted plan pays thousands in September. November heats up your love life. Capri- corn and Scorpio people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 10, 4, 15, 7 and 39.