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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (July 1, 2015)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, JULY 1, 2015 FEATURES 5A Forgive for what they are not Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Annie: My father passed away many years ago and my mother remarried and moved to a vacation home. However, she still owns the house we grew up in and two of my siblings now live there for free. My sister is 60, and my brother is 46. Neither has worked for years. I talk to my mother about it all the time, telling her she is not doing them any favors by allow- ing this to go on. Can you tell her what a horrible thing it is to en- able two perfectly capable grown adults this way? My mother is 82. What will they do when she is gone? I have two other siblings and the three of us don’t take ad- vantage of our mother this way. — Not Right Dear Not: We agree that this type of financial enabling is a huge liability. But a good work ethic and accountability need to be instilled when young. Your mother may consider these two children to be incapable of working, and that her sup- port is all that keeps them off the streets. She does it out of compassion and guilt. She isn’t asking us for advice, nor is she likely to take it, even if we point out the problems this will cre- Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar ate when she is no longer in the picture. Your mother should have a legal will to minimize disputes about her property and money. It’s her decision, whether or not you agree. Your focus should be on forgiving all of them for what they are not, and then doing what you need to do in order to be sure that these siblings don’t become too great a financial burden on the rest of you. Dear Annie: I would like to respond to “Pat,” who spends up to 12 hours a day helping her el- derly mother at the nursing home and gets frustrated because other residents don’t receive as many visits from their family members. My 82-year-old mother is in an assisted living residence in Florida. I am a young, wid- owed working mother, living 700 miles away. I am also an only child. I do what I can for my mom, calling several times a week, sending cards, packages and flowers, and following up with the staff and her medical providers to ensure that she is well taken care of. I visit when I can, but it is an expensive flight or a 13-hour drive. Of course I wish I could visit more, but that is not possible. Suggesting that absent family members “don’t care” simplifies the reality for many of us. Not ev- eryone has the luxury of time and proximity that Pat does, and she should consider herself fortunate for her arrangement. — Sandwich Generation Dear Sandwich: You are ob- viously a caring child. We don’t think “Pat” meant to castigate those relatives who cannot come more often, only those who could do so easily, but make no effort. And it’s not only children. Any- one can visit a person in a nursing home or assisted living facility. And parents who choose to re- tire and move far away from their family members should consider what’s down the road. Happy Canada Day to all of our readers north of the border. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE ARIES (March 21-April 19). The wise don’t care about being first in line. What- ever your place today, you’ll hold it with the kind of detached confidence that attracts the very best. Your way will be made easily. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You’d like to have more self-discipline. This isn’t a matter of forcing yourself to do what you don’t want to do. It’s about building re- wards so luscious that they motivate you to follow through with your intentions. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). What the day needs is an invigorating challenge to kick things off on the right note. Instead of making a list of things to do today, make a list of things to do before 1 p.m. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’re getting better, mostly because when you discover your errors, you rejoice at anoth- er opportunity to improve. This attitude will take you to mastery. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). This is the time of year when the Facebook pages are filled with vacations that look more glam- orous than yours. Just know that everyone feels that way. As a matter of fact, some- one is envying your posts today. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Whatev- er your game, this is the start of a hot streak. Between here and the weekend, there will be several small wins that add up to something you’ve wanted for a long time. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’ll be choosing quickly and sometimes wrong- ly. That’s fine, too. Wrong choices lead to right choices as long as you’re committed to learning from them. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). When you fear losing something, you hold onto it too tightly. What if you were to go the other way and let go? It might not be time yet, but you have to admit that this fear is no fun to live with. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). It’s said that fate doesn’t like to be tempted. And yet there is a curious provocateur in you who wants to push the fates and see just how far they will go before they retaliate. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Keep- ing your skills current requires some dedication, and you’re willing to put in the work. Doing so before it’s really necessary will give you an advantage later. You’ll be ready for an opportunity. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Most people fail more than they succeed. Great people have failed greatly. Failure is part of life, and fearing it can only hold us back. Befriend it instead. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). With an enhanced ability to organize the future, you’ll create a scenario so grand that even you are not sure you’ll be able to pull it off. Leave room for spontaneous magic. THURSDAY’S BIRTHDAY (July 2). It’s time for some entertainment and fun. You’ll get extra funds for this kind of thing over the next seven weeks. September has you heading up a family project. The investment of your time and energy will pay off in November as it should, and later in unexpected ways. Your love life heats up in January. Leo and Gemini people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 27, 39, 12, 24 and 18.