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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (June 4, 2015)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, JUNE 4, 2015 FEATURES 5A Woman ponders cutting out mom Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Annie: When I was grow- ing up, we were all afraid of my mother. My own kids recently con- fessed that when they were little they were always afraid of Grandma because they never knew when she would completely lose it and take it out on them. My mother seldom takes any LQWHUHVW LQ P\ NLGV H[FHSW WR ¿QG fault. When my teenage daughter recently went through a severe de- pression, I told Mom, thinking she might be understanding because my father committed suicide. Instead, she gave me a long lecture about all the things my husband and I were doing wrong. I told her she was cru- el and hung up. I thought she might apologize, but she never did. My husband and I moved across the country several years ago, but we still visit and stay at Mom’s house several times a year. We didn’t invite her to my children’s high school and college graduations because the kids said they’d rather not have Grandma attend. Because we already live so far away, I’m tempted to put an end to whatever connection we have. I think that would be best for my children and also for me. We have so many senti- mental notions about grandmothers. I kept hoping mine would act like Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar one of those, but it has taken me this long to see that she is not capable of it. Here’s the problem: I worry that my youngest child, who doesn’t know her grandmother that well, will think we deprived her of this relationship. My mother has shown more tolerance toward my youngest, saying this child is the only one who likes her. Should I keep in touch for my daughter’s sake? I feel terrible knowing that I was in complete de- nial about her when the older two were growing up. What if my moth- er can’t behave any better toward this one? — Worried Daughter Dear Worried: You live across the country, so this does not have to be an all-or-nothing solution. It’s possible your mother will have a better relationship with your young- est child, although you’ll need to keep an eye on it. Instead of cutting her off entirely, we suggest you try shortening your visits and having fewer of them. Once a year for three RUIRXUGD\VLVVXI¿FLHQWDQGLISRV- sible, stay in a hotel. Mom sounds as though she could EHQH¿W IURP WKHUDS\ EXW \RX FDQ- not force her to do that. You can, however, help your children un- derstand that Grandma has issues of her own and sometimes doesn’t behave appropriately. Your kids are old enough to learn how to cope with her. And by the way, if your father committed suicide and your daughter suffers from depression, we hope you have spoken to her doctor about a possible genetic link. Dear Annie: Your advice to “Played for a Fool” was good, but it wouldn’t have helped me. My two stepchildren owe us thousands of dollars. They were offered the mon- ey with the condition that it be paid back monthly, and the amount was affordable. However, if the parents of these children feel no obligation to col- lect, any deal is moot. The children are essentially stealing, and it is their character that is in question. It GHVWUR\VWUXVWDQG,¿QGLWGLI¿FXOW to spend time with them, especially when I hear about what they bought with my money. — Smarter Now FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE ARIES (March 21-April 19). The sad truth is that there are some people who would rather not hear about your happiness. Your careful choice of conversational topics (with consideration of your company) is a good part of your charm. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Much of your baggage is unnecessary. Unburden your- self. It will be easier to do in today’s emotion- al weather. In life and in swimming, it’s better if you don’t have much to carry. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You gravitate toward the comfortable, predictable pattern. However, today’s disruption won’t allow it. Your powers of adaptation are extraordinari- ly strong, mind you. You’ll be used to the new way in no time. CANCER (June 22-July 22). It’s the tal- ents that you don’t even consider talents that will get you noticed in a favorable light today — for instance, your talent for knowing where things are or for remembering pass- words. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). The powers of creation and destruction run on different timetables. What takes years to build can be destroyed in a single moment. Some degree of destructive energy is necessary for creation to happen, but it is a very small amount. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’re better for having experienced an ideal moment, but don’t dwell there. You’ll be happier when you embrace the changing state of things in- stead of clinging to that perfect piece of past. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). No one can dispute your fine taste, though you may pri- vately take issue with the aesthetic choices of others. You might find a loved one’s pref- erences in food, reading or fun quite aston- ishing. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). People do what comes naturally or what they have been educated to do. Nature is difficult to fight, but you can reeducate yourself and others. This will be the main challenge of the day. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Unfor- tunately, waiting for the happy moments will not make them show up today. So don’t wait. Your smile will make you joyful, and the rest will follow. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Don’t categorically rule anything out. Luck chang- es moment-to-moment, day-to-day. You could win at yesterday’s losing game. Test your daring. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’ll be like the doctor standing by to help bring a new life into the world. The “life” in question may or may not require your help, but all are better off because you decided to assist in this transition. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). There’s a dif- ference between running away and distanc- ing yourself from forces of negativity. You put barriers in place, not because you’re scared, but because you’re smart. FRIDAY’S BIRTHDAY (June 5). There’s no need to fear that you’ll lose your resourc- es. There is a well in your life that will never dry up as long as you’re willing to adjust your rope appropriately to reach what you need. Now through August is rich in fun and excite- ment. September shows you signing a con- tract. October brings a new investor or part- ner. Cancer and Taurus people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 4, 11, 24, 38 and 13.