Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (May 7, 2015)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, MAY 7, 2015 FEATURES 5A Daughters ruining relationship Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Annie: I have been in a re- lationship with “Ted” for the past eight years. We each have adult children from previous marriages. Ted has always put his daughters ahead of me and our relationship. When they were younger, I com- pletely understood, but they are adults now, and he still does it. Ted has to get their permis- sion to spend any time with me. Vacations are completely out of the question. I see him, at best, four times a month, and the girls call and text constantly the entire time we’re together, always about nothing. He has broken our dates and left in the middle of dinner to help them find an earring or a pair of shoes. The oldest recently mar- ried, and she and her husband are living in Ted’s basement. Annie, he put these girls through college. They have de- grees and good jobs, and yet they refuse to leave the nest. Ted says he doesn’t know how to fix it. We fight about this often, and he al- ways takes their side. I am frus- trated. When we first began dat- ing, Ted asked me to wait until the kids were out of high school and said then we’d get married. Then he asked me to wait until they were finished with college. Now Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar it’s when both are married and on their own. I don’t see them ever letting that happen. Ted bought me a ring, which I am not allowed to wear around the girls because it upsets them. He can’t have pictures of us in his house because they wouldn’t like it. I once posted pictures of us on my Facebook page, and Ted total- ly lost it because he was afraid his daughters would see. I suggested we attend coun- seling, but he refused. He is stressed and unhappy, and being around him is difficult because he takes it out on me. I know this relationship is toxic and I should move on, but it is hard to do when you love someone. We get along great when they leave us alone, but that rarely happens, and I am constantly depressed about it. What should I do? — Lost and Alone in Kentucky Dear Lost: Please understand that Ted is never going to put you first. He is not going to marry you unless his daughters give their permission, and they aren’t going to do it. So what are you willing to put up with in order to remain with him? If you are OK playing third fiddle to those girls and will take marriage off the table perma- nently, you could have a nice, lim- ited, semi-frustrating relationship with Ted. But if that’s not good enough, leave before you waste any more time. Dear Annie: I laughed when I read the letter from “Confused Husband,” who expects more sex for doing chores around the house. I do laundry, wash dishes, vac- uum and grocery shop. I don’t do it to get paid back with sex. I love my wife so much, I consider it a privilege to do things for her, even after 25 years together. She gave birth to our two wonderful children. That is all I could ask for. Appreciate her now because tomorrow is promised to no one. — Love Her Dear Love Her: We hope ev- ery man in our reading audience will see your letter and agree with you. You ought to bottle that. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE ARIES (March 21-April 19). After you make the magic happen, own it. You don’t have to talk about it. You just have to know that this was your doing and stop yourself from giving anyone else the credit. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Set aside some money to be used in an unconven- tional, creative or risky way. Even a small amount will make a big difference in getting you on a track toward your dreams. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). People have their reasons for acting the way they do, but reasons are not excuses. If you want better behavior out of them (or out of yourself, for that matter), create and uphold a system of accountability. CANCER (June 22-July 22). With Venus visiting your part of the sky, your heart-light is shining like a lighthouse beacon. The souls that are like lost ships in the night will find guidance in your love. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You like having conversations with people whose interests are wide and different from yours. However, that bossy person who insists that you try things is one to resist, if not totally avoid, now. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’ll entertain with style. An important part of this is show- manship. You’ll be like the ringleader of a cir- cus calling attention to the special acts and wonders around you. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Ideally, you can get enthusiastic about the day’s activ- ities, but if not, don’t let that stop you. Just showing up will be enough. The skills you’ve acquired through the years will carry you through. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). When you’re interested in someone, you want to know the whole person, not just the small part shown to you within the confines of a partic- ular role. Ask good questions, and you’ll get the bigger picture. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The menial tasks have to get done, or you’ll set yourself up for unnecessary problems over the weekend. Make it fun. Add music or comedy. The chores go by quickly when you’re listening to a headset. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Bottom line: People are always more important than “stuff.” Anyone whose behavior regarding material possessions suggests the oppo- site belief has issues. The best thing to do is steer clear. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’ll play the game of life with verve. Why saunter to the next spot when you can leap ahead? Your energetic approach will attract the at- tention of someone who will be good for you to know. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Though you prefer to stay on purpose, a certain tol- erance for those who dillydally, lollygag and loiter will serve you well. You’ll learn informa- tion in those easygoing moments that you would have otherwise missed. FRIDAY’S BIRTHDAY (May 8). Work hard but not too hard, because it’s this year’s pleasant distractions that often serve to take you closer to your goals and purposes. Over the next seven weeks, your work will become more visible, and this will increase your influence, as well as your means. Someone will invest in you in June. Singles commit in August. Gemini and Sagittarius people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 40, 1, 28, 12 and 30.