THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, MAY 6, 2015
FEATURES
55A
Man remorseful about date rape Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
Dear Annie: My wife and I
have been married for 30 years.
Before we met, I coerced a wom-
an into having sex. I did not use
physical force, but she did not give
consent. By today’s standards, this
was, I think, a clear case of date
rape.
I have never told anyone about
this, and there is little chance that
we will ever encounter this wom-
an. So my wife will never find out.
Do I owe it to her to tell her? I
believe that to do so could cause
serious harm to our marriage. —
Anonymous and Conflicted
Dear Anonymous: Society is
much more sensitive these days
(and rightly so) to instances of sex
without consent, e.g., when the
woman is drunk or when someone
in a position of authority takes ad-
vantage of a subordinate. We are
glad that this has been bothering
you for 30 years. It shows that you
have remorse.
Ideally, you would tell your
wife and have her support when
you voluntarily go to the police,
but you don’t seem likely to do
that. You can discuss this with
your clergyperson or a therapist,
although depending on the partic-
ulars of the date rape and the state
in which it happened, there may be
Annie’s
Mailbox
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
Kathy Mitchell
and
Marcy Sugar
mandatory reporting laws, as well
as no statute of limitations on the
crime. (For information on these
laws, contact RAINN at rainn.
org, or see a lawyer.) A therapist
also could help you decide how to
broach the subject with your wife.
Is there a way to apologize to
the victim? This can be more heal-
ing than you know, for both of
you. You might also contribute to
an organization for rape victims.
These things don’t at all make up
for what you did, but they are a
step in the right direction and bet-
ter than doing nothing.
Dear Annie: You’ve printed
several letters about bridal show-
ers and baby showers and other
occasions where gifts are given.
Let me ask these young women
who expect their family members
to give gifts for every one of these
events: Do you ever give your
grandparents a birthday present?
Do you ever send the great-aunts a
Christmas card? When your uncle
is ill, do you send flowers or a get-
well card?
Life is not about how many
gifts you can get. These young
men and women should count the
number of gifts they have received
from their grandparents, aunts,
uncles and other close friends and
family members since their high
school graduations and then con-
sider what they have given in re-
turn. — Tired of the Gimme Gen-
eration
Dear Tired: Amen. Too often
the recipients of largesse think the
gravy train only runs in one direc-
tion and they don’t need to show
similar consideration to an old-
er generation. But what relative
wouldn’t be thrilled to get a birth-
day card from a great-niece or a
holiday card from a grandchild
without prompting?
If you have older relatives or
friends and have never thought
about sending them a card or a gift
or making a phone call on their
special days, please remember all
of the considerate things they have
done for you over the years, and
ask yourself how you could ex-
press similar kindness.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
STONE SOUP
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Warrior
spirit that you are, you’re ready to fight for
your honor. On the other hand, it doesn’t
always serve the situation. Often it’s best to
keep your composure and balance as you
say nothing and walk away.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Many fa-
mous people have at times completed
their work from bed, including Leonardo
da Vinci, Thomas Hobbes and F. Scott Fitz-
gerald. You’ll join their club with the beauti-
ful things you come up with from the pillow.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). With candor
and humor you’ll turn situations into situ-
ational comedy. You know how to do this
gracefully, without discounting or making
fun of anyone’s troubles.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Some-
times you are content because of what
you have, and other times, like today, you
are content because of what you lack in
expectation. Whatever occurs, it will delight
you.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Make no as-
sumptions about your performance. Just
because you’ve done it one way for a long
time doesn’t mean you’re doing it right. The
breakthrough will come after you open
yourself to new insights.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Bottom line:
You need more sleep. Vitality, beauty, a
happy mood — they’re all a product of in-
creasing your zzz’s. Revisit your nighttime
routine with an eye toward optimum relax-
ation.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Dreams die
hard, especially for children who are raised
on fairytale magic brought to life in vivid
CGI. But some dreams, once released,
make room for remarkable realities.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). It may feel
as though someone other than you is run-
ning your life. If that’s happening, it’s only
because you got a little distracted. Bring
yourself back to the driver’s seat.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The
excitement building around you is not co-
incidental. People feel there’s something
special in what you’re creating, and they
want to be a part of it.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Sac-
rifice will be necessary, but not to a det-
rimental degree. You’ve been giving so
much of yourself that you may feel de-
pleted. Try to pull back. Stop before there’s
nothing left for you.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Not
knowing which way to go doesn’t always
mean you’re lost. In today’s case, the real
journey begins at the place where you’re
not sure which road to take.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). More
choices don’t make people happier; they
just confuse matters and, as an added bo-
nus, make people long for what they gave
up. Offer three options, and you’ll have
happy customers.
THURSDAY’S BIRTHDAY (May 7). No
matter how educated you are, you’ll make
it a main goal to broaden your knowledge
and skills this year. Furthermore, you’ll
take on other hard personal challenges
because doing the hard things makes you
better. The next seven weeks bring a con-
tract that will improve your lifestyle. New
friends come in July. Aquarius and Gemini
people adore you. Your lucky numbers are:
13, 2, 28, 24 and 11.