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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (April 3, 2015)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, APRIL 3, 2015 FEATURES 7A ‘Tough love’ causes resentment Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Annie: I have a 30-year-old son. “Brad” was the perfect child, loving and affectionate, until the age of 16. That’s when I divorced my drug-addicted husband. I shel- tered the children as much as I could from what their father was doing. When I transferred Brad to a public school, he got involved in drugs, quit school, became verbally abusive, did a stint in jail and more. I remarried a wonderful man who showed Brad nothing but love. Any dis- ciplining was done by me. When I found out Brad was doing drugs at age 21, I kicked him out of the house. He abused steroids and who knows what else. He blames me for the way he is because I kicked him out. He claims no mother would do that. I told him it’s called “tough love” and that I refuse to watch him destroy himself. I have not spoken to Brad in five months. Christmas and my birthday have come and gone with no acknowledgment. My heart is just so broken. Should I reach out to him or let him fig- ure out life on his own? Do I wish him a happy birthday next Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar month? I don’t know what to do anymore. — Brokenhearted Mom Dear Brokenhearted: Tough love can also be tough on the parents. You did nothing wrong by expecting your adult son to move out of the house. Even kids who are not abusing drugs ought to leave the nest by then. Brad finds it easier to blame you for what is wrong with his life than to accept responsibility for his own actions. Until he figures it out, all you can do is wait and hope. But you can send him a birthday card and also find sup- port from others in your situa- tion through Because I Love You at bily.org. Good luck. Dear Annie: I was saddened by the letter from “L.H. in Montgomery,” the 82-year-old woman who has been searching for love for 40 years. My husband and I are senior citizens, 75 and 80 years old. We have been dancing (ball- room style) in senior centers and other dance organizations for 25 years. It is amazing how many friendships and relation- ships are developed between us “old people” when we’re danc- ing. Of course, none of us feels old. Please tell L.H. to check out local senior centers or those in other towns nearby. She also could check for social dance clubs (ballroom style dancing, country dancing, etc.) in her area. One of our area senior dancers teaches line dancing, which is a great way to dance if you don’t have a partner. Danc- ing is great social interaction. I hope she can find something in her area. — Suisun City, Calif. Dear Suisun City: Thank you for the suggestion. There are many excellent activities for people of all ages who are looking to meet others. Trying to find someone online is OK as far as it goes, but nothing beats meeting folks in person who are also participating in an activity you enjoy. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE ARIES (March 21-April 19). Because you have a great deal on your agenda, you’ll ex- ecute many a fast fix, succinct answer and brief interaction. What happens won’t be any less meaningful, though. Brevity makes things more memorable to all involved. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Destruction is sometimes necessary in order to move forward. “To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle, is a deep delight of the blood.” — George Santayana GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’re a strong person, and you’re only getting stronger. Those who are willing to face and move through pain will be free of the ob- sessions and addictions that plague those who run from pain. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Relation- ships thrive when habits are compatible. Rule of thumb: When it happens once, it’s a mistake. When it happens a few times, it’s a pattern. And when it happens daily, it’s a lifestyle. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Compete strictly with yourself today, because the others are playing a completely different game than you are. Also, you don’t have to win in every category to be the best you. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Remember when that person you admire so much saw something special in you? It was a sign that you, too, are meant for the great things you so appreciate. Act to realize the potential in that moment. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Life is full for you, as the moon is full in your sign. Though you’re a well-mannered and self-disciplined person, this is your time to answer the call of the wild and express your free spirit. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You don’t have to believe in magic to experience something that can’t be explained. How- ever, it helps. Give those wishes and ex- pectations a break and allow yourself to be swept up by a breathtaking surprise. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You tried to please someone who is perpetually dissatisfied, and now you know how futile that feels. The universe agrees. That’s why loving what you have attracts more. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). They shouldn’t get so jealous when you pay at- tention to more than one special person. Your heart is elastic now. The more you include the bigger it becomes. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You don’t have to give up the fight permanently, but you may find that even temporarily setting aside a grievance will free your energy and improve your life. You may just decide to drop that old grievance forever. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). At some point, most children learn that parents are just people, struggling to find their way like everyone else. You came to that moment of maturity earlier than most, though today it seems you’re still working through it. SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAY (April 4). Ideal situations and real situations rare- ly match up in life, but this year brings many exceptions. You’ll powerfully create what’s in your mind’s eye. The person who walks into your life in May will make you feel grounded and capable. You’ll reach a career milestone in June. September is a dynamite start to business. Aquarius and Pisces people adore you. Your lucky num- bers are: 30, 1, 22, 38 and 17.