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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (March 23, 2015)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, MARCH 23, 2015 FEATURES 5A He wants deadbeat mom to step up Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Annie: I am a 55-year-old man, divorced for the past 15 years. My daughter is 24 years old and mar- ried to a good guy, and they have two lovely boys. Although I have strug- gled with depression over the years, I try to live a good, honest Christian life. I raised my two children as a single parent, and my ex has become a deadbeat mother. My ex has mar- ried several times since our divorce. Each of her subsequent husbands has been an alcoholic or a drug user. My problem is that my daughter and her mother seldom speak or see each other. My ex will see my son on occasion, but not much. She’s the kind of person who cannot ad- mit fault. When my ex was married to one of her drunken drug users, she let him kick my daughter out of their home because she broke curfew once. I can see how much this estrange- ment hurts my daughter, and I want so much for her to reconcile with her mother. My daughter reaches out to my ex through mail, birthday party invitations and occasional voice- mails. Her mother never responds. I recently texted both of them stating that I am sorry for my part in the divorce, hoping it would open up communication. I encouraged them to meet at a neutral location without her limit the hurt by accepting Mom as she is. Dear Annie: This letter is in re- sponse to “Bob,” who has the “mis- Creators fortune” of knowing “Joe,” who has Syndicate Inc. Asperger syndrome and is invit- ed everywhere within his circle of Kathy Mitchell friends. I say “misfortune” because and if Bob cannot see past Joe’s lack of Marcy Sugar social skills to the person he is un- derneath, then Bob is the less fortu- ¿QGLQJ IDXOW LQ HDFK RWKHU DQG MXVW nate person. Joe probably never had spend time together. DQ\RQHLQKLVOLIHWHDFKKLPWKH¿QHU I feel that a large amount of re- points of communication and friend- sponsibility has been placed on my ship. For someone with Asperger’s, shoulders due to my ex’s refusal to these traits do not come naturally be a decent parent. My question is or through regular interaction with whether or not I should say any more RWKHUV7KHVHWUDLWVMXVWOLNHUHDGLQJ regarding this. I worry so much for math and science, have to be taught. my daughter. — Dad I am the mom of a 22-year-old Dear Dad: Your suggestion to “Aspie.” My husband and I spent meet in a neutral location is a good hours teaching our son social skills, one, and we hope they will take you and our hard work has paid off tre- up on it. But please understand that mendously. Our son is still socially you cannot force your ex-wife to be DZNZDUGDQGPLVVHVVRPHRIWKH¿Q- a better, more caring mother. And HU VRFLDO FXHV EXW KH LV ÀRXULVKLQJ there is no way to prevent her be- at university and has a diverse circle havior from hurting your daughter. of friends. What you can do, however, is make If Joe were blind and constantly sure your daughter knows how tripping over Bob’s furniture, I’m much she is loved and valued by her sure Bob would not exclude him be- father and others, and that her moth- cause of it. Bob could be a real friend er’s lack of affection is not about and help Joe maneuver through so- her — it’s about Mom’s issues, and cial situations in a positive way. — A only Mom can remedy that. Help Mom Who Cares Annie’s Mailbox FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE ARIES (March 21-April 19). When you realize that it would be good to control your thoughts, it’s a realization that signals a very high level of human evolution. So don’t be too hard on yourself if you aren’t able to fol- low through with it to your satisfaction. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Now that Venus is in your sign, you may find yourself asking more often, “What’s in it for me?” And though it’s a natural question that you’d be a fool not to ask, just be sure to follow it up with, “What’s in it for them?” GEMINI (May 21-June 21). The moon in your sign has you feeing lucky, taking social risks and playing it loose. That’s what makes you so fun to be around. People don’t know what to expect. CANCER (June 22-July 22). There’s an emotional volume to hit — a sweet spot that will resonate with your audience. It’s why you don’t feel the need to have strong opin- ions about everything. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Avoid trying to make a specific outcome happen, because everyone involved in today’s scenario wants something different. Instead, be open to the natural compromise that is likely to occur with such varied input. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). There are benefits to being an unofficial member of a group. Once they have accepted you as their own, they also trust you not to leave. So think twice before you endeavor to join. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). People gener- ally become security-oriented because of experiences of insecurity they do not wish to repeat. With these types, trust can only be built with consistency over time. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Obsession is rarely a positive state of mind, because the amount of focus that even a healthy obses- sion requires usually creates an imbalance. But at least obsession helps you figure out what you lack so you can actively pursue it. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You’re usually in the mood to discover the far cor- ners of the world; however, now you’re more in the mood to discover the far corners of your couch. You need the rest! CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). The friendships that keep you entertained are worth more than gold. Your favorite people will make no effort to please you. It just hap- pens naturally when they please themselves. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). While fa- miliarity doesn’t always breed contempt, it may breed blindness to the glory of all that you are. It will take an outsider to shake things up by noticing your wonderful qual- ities. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You’re a very important person and should be cared for as such. So stop putting off the appoint- ments that keep you feeling attractive, healthy and tended to. TUESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (March 24). You know what you’re working toward, and you’ll be tenacious. You will become increasingly financially secure, and this stability trans- lates into greater confidence in your per- sonal life. April and May are for taking social risks, making new friends and learning the nuances of a fascinating culture. June ce- ments a deal. Hopefully, you won’t mind the worship and adoration coming your way in August. Leo and Sagittarius people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 30, 5, 14, 33 and 12.