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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (March 20, 2015)
FEATURES 6A THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, MARCH 20, 2015 Fiancé makes outrageous demand Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Annie: I am a 54-year-old wid- ow living in a large and active retirement community. I am engaged to “Pete,” a 64-year-old man whom I’ve been seeing for a year. We get along very well and have many common interests. Pete has a 20-year-old mentally chal- lenged son living with him, and we also JHWDORQJ¿QH0\JURZQFKLOGUHQOLYHLQ another state.) Pete’s son would live with us after we marry, and I am OK with that. We’ve set a date and even had an engage- ment party. Now everything is turning into a nightmare. Pete and I have had some heavy make- out sessions, but we have never had sex. He now tells me he cannot “perform.” It doesn’t really matter to me, but he’s turn- ing it into a huge problem. He says that in order to really be married, according to his religion, it has to be consummated, and that because he isn’t capable of doing so, his son should be his stand-in. Pete would be there to make sure everything was completed. I was shocked to say the least. He has told a number of our friends about this, and they think he’s crazy. They also think I’m crazy to still be with him. He says if I love him it won’t matter and that it is only a one-time thing. Pete says this is “nonnegotiable.” I don’t want anything to do with it, but if I marry Pete, all of our friends will think I slept with his son, even if I haven’t. If I’d known this before we got engaged, I nev- Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar er would have agreed to marry him. I am LQJRRGKHDOWKDQGGRQRWQHHGKLP¿QDQ- cially. What do I do? — Upset in N.Y.C. Dear Upset: Leave. Now. The reason various religions expect marriages to be consummated is to produce children. You are not going to do that, so Pete’s request is completely unreasonable. If he wants his son to have a sexual experience, he can hire a professional. But you ought to get away from this nuttiness while you still can. We guarantee it won’t be the last crazy demand he makes. Dear Annie: I know there are free and low-cost options for people who need counseling for depression. Do you know of any such resources for couples who could use a marriage tune-up but don’t have much money? — Daisy Dear Daisy: First check with your ORFDO<0&$RU<:&$DVZHOODVXQL- versity counseling centers and your place of worship. Your county, state or city is likely to offer free or low-cost family counseling, which usually includes mar- riage counseling, and you may be eligible for those services. You also can look on- line to see whether there are community counseling centers in your area. World- ZLGH 0DUULDJH (QFRXQWHU ZZPHRUJ IRU&DWKROLFFRXSOHVLVIUHHDQGWKHUHDUH RWKHU0DUULDJH(QFRXQWHUSURJUDPVWKDW are not faith-based and often operate on a VPDOOGRQDWLRQ(YHU\PDUULDJHFRXOGXVH a “tune-up” now and then. Good luck. Dear Annie:$VWKHZLIHRIDSURVWDWH cancer survivor, I want to expand on your DQVZHUWR³0LVVLQJ,W´3URVWDWHFDQFHULV a couple’s disease because it affects the sexual relationship. Here are my ideas to improve the situation: %X\ SDGV LQVWHDG RI GLDSHUV 7KH\ are available for men, but women’s pads ZLOOZRUNWRR$JX\IHHOVPRUHOLNHD guy in his own underwear. He should do Kegel exercises. Join a gym and work RXWWRJHWKHU([HUFLVHLVDPRRGHOHYDWRU and strong core muscles help with incon- tinence. Find a prostate cancer support group and attend as a couple. Shower together since it won’t matter if he leaks in the shower, and soapy rubdowns can lead to other things. Research penile pumps, injections, implants and medications WRUHOLHYH('%HFUHDWLYHLQWKHEHG- URRP$QG¿QDOO\LI\RXUGRFWRULVQRW VXSSRUWLYH ¿QG DQRWKHU ² Love My Husband FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE ARIES (March 21-April 19). Research shows that a stressed or nervous person can focus on only a few things at a time, while a calm person can take in more de- tails. It’s one more reason for you to make yourself comfortable. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Part of the work ahead will have to do with healing family relationships or finding new ways of handling them. Focus first on your own feelings, especially the ones you’ve tried to push down or deny. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). The clock hands will smile on you. You’ll find shortcuts and ways to maximize your efforts. You’ll get the work done in half the time or fit twice the fun into your leisure hours. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Softness and weakness are not the same thing. Any- way, forceful tools and attitudes won’t work today. A warm smile will put people immedi- ately on your side. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). People aren’t al- ways that nice. It’s why you choose to honor the kind ones you meet along the way with exchanges of appreciation and encourage- ment. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). In the culture of consumerism, effective marketing of sub- standard goods can net more profit than quality goods with bad or no marketing. You’ll busy yourself with the homework of a savvy consumer. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Trying to get a commitment out of someone is work, while trying to engage a person in one interesting moment is play. Don’t worry — you’ll be able to string those moments together with the right person. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’ll truly feel like the master of your destiny this year, though you should understand that, as with all master-and-servant relationships, the servant also has quite a lot of power. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). A specific and unique reaction is a kind of gift that you give to another person, letting this person know that you are paying close and special attention to the nuances of who he or she is. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You’ll be tested. You have an unfair advantage in this: your sharp powers of observation. If you watch and listen closely, people usually will subtly indicate to you exactly what they want you to do or say. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’ll be inspired by a hero. This could be one you’ve long held in high esteem or one that’s cre- ated in a moment of valor. You, too, have heroic qualities, which is why you’re so im- pressed. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). On your quest to being a better person, you’re usu- ally up for making improvements. What’s needed most now has nothing to do with action and everything to do with accepting and relaxing into how you are “as-is.” SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAY (March 21). You’re in sync with the cosmic clock, as ev- idenced by the “coincidental” good luck you experience over the next six weeks. May brings the kind of personal success that vin- dicates past slights. You’ll raise the morale and effectiveness of your family or a group. June shows you dancing with your love. Taurus and Capricorn people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 6, 17, 42, 38 and 21.
