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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 27, 2015)
FEATURES 6A Wife is unhappy and jealous Dear Annie: I’ve been mar- ried to “Lily” for 15 years, and we have two teenagers. We’ve built a good life. But Lily is an unhappy person. And while I’ve not been an angel, she never acknowledges that her unhappiness contributes to our problems. She walks around with a chip on her shoulder. Lily is a stay-at-home mom, but she does no cooking and the house is a mess. She’s made it clear that when I want to speak to her, I need to do it when she’s not reading, surfing the Internet or watching TV. Even though I have to get up at 4 a.m., she insists on doing puz- zles in bed with the light on. When I return home, she never greets me. I have to go over to the sofa where she is sitting in order to give her a kiss hello, which annoys her be- cause I’m disturbing her TV watch- ing. When Lily is immersed in a project (family genealogy, high school reunion, whatever), she neglects the entire family and sees nothing wrong with it. While she does not want me associating with any friends I had prior to our marriage, she regularly entertains her ex-husband (when I’m out of town), dresses up for him and cooks dinner for him. Yet she is Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar outrageously jealous of any female I associate with, even a colleague. I could barely tolerate this when Lily was on antidepressants, but she stopped a year ago, and things got worse. She’d scream at me and our youngest daughter for no rea- son. She became paranoid that I was having an affair and, with no evidence, declared herself a vic- tim of infidelity and asked for a divorce. So I met with a divorce lawyer and was surprised to hear from a large number of friends and fami- ly who were past targets of Lily’s screaming fits and were willing to say so in court. I’ve asked Lily to go for counseling, but she refuses. She stopped seeing the last coun- selor when he said she needed to work on herself. Things have set- tled down because she’s on an- other project and ignoring us. But I worry about what she’s doing to our youngest daughter. Would it be wrong to research how to have her committed? — Frightened for My Girls Dear Frightened: That seems extreme. Lily sounds severely de- pressed and possibly bipolar. The right medication and therapy could do wonders for her, but she has to be willing. Your girls are near- ly adults. A better option for you might be divorce and custody. A judge could mandate therapy for Lily as a condition of seeing her children. Meanwhile, please con- tact the National Alliance on Men- tal Illness (nami.org) for informa- tion and referrals. Dear Annie: I am friends with an out-of-state couple who visit me briefly twice a year. I’ve known them for decades, and we share many good memories. Since my husband’s death, they feel the need to instruct me on how to handle everything in my life, including home mainte- nance, personal relationships and the brand of computer I use. When they leave, I am exhausted. They mean well, but I am capable and independent. How do I tactfully tell them to butt out? — Baffled in Boston FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 2015 Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). People bond over the little things today, like cute animals or something silly on the Internet. You’ll enjoy a break from seriousness. The big decisions can wait. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Don’t be too frugal when it comes to taking care of your- self. Whatever your financial situation, self- care will only improve it. It’s like paying to get the oil changed in a car to avoid frying the engine. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Acquisition is overrated. Whatever you think you need, chances are you already own a substitute that would work just as well. Or you could borrow the thing from someone who would be quite pleased to let you. CANCER (June 22-July 22). If you don’t know, that’s actually good. Know-it-alls are tolerated, not liked. Anyhow, you’re charm- ing when you throw up your hands and say, “Who knows? Not me!” LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Part of growing up is learning when to listen to your inside voice and when to tell it to shut up. You’ve been comparing yourself to superstars, which causes self-doubt and stirs an inside voice that’s a straight-up liar. You know what to do. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). It’s like your favorite T-shirt is begging you to lounge in it. Take a break. Recharge. This will help you to take advantage of an opportunity that’s com- ing up next week. You’ll need to be focused for this one! LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). There’s some- thing new kindling in your heart. There are many factors that come together to create attraction. The visual is part of it, but certainly not the most important part. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You enjoy a good puzzle, and someone special is provid- ing just that. The puzzle comes in the form of his or her personality and choices. You may never solve the puzzle, by the way, but it’s fun to try. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Every person has physical limitations. There are things that even the best athletes in the world can’t do. Whatever your physical range, ac- cept, celebrate and use it to the fullest today. No comparing! CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). People will want to help you. Unless you think they have an ulterior motive, or that the “help” will ultimately be too costly, let them. Life is about to get hectic, and you’ll get ahead of it if you accept assistance now. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Relation- ships require stamina. It may feel as though one person is doing all of the wanting and the other is doing all of the providing, but this hasn’t always (and won’t always) be the case. Hang in there. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Success is a feeling, not a number you reach. Spiritual channels are opening to help you. Small mir- acles can be as life-enhancing as big ones, and today’s will be sweet to behold. SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Feb. 28). The only thing better than attracting opportunities is recognizing the ones that have been there all along. Your eyes will open to life’s intense beauty as you seize the resources and tal- ents you’ve been given and turn them into something that helps and delights those around you. Love is on your side. Scorpio and Sagittarius people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 30, 1, 37, 5 and 42.