Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 25, 2015)
FEATURES 8A THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 25, 2015 Illness makes him hard to deal with Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Annie: One of my classmates has Asperger syndrome. He often says and does things that are obnoxious and sometimes downright threatening. I understand that his behavior is a result of his Asperger’s, but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. When I ask my friends what to do, they say it’s not his fault and I should just leave it alone. But, Annie, he frequently talks loudly over instructions so no one else can hear, and last week he fell on the ÀRRU VFUHDPLQJ LQ IURQW RI YLVLWLQJ professionals. I want to be able to help him change his behavior without mak- ing it seem as though I’m blaming him for it. How do I respectfully tell him what is and isn’t appropriate? — Worn Out Dear Worn Out: Asperger syn- drome is considered part of the autism spectrum. Those diagnosed generally have poor communication and social- ization skills, although they are often of above-average intelligence. Appro- priate behavior can be taught, but it helps to have early intervention and to work with trained professionals. We know your classmate’s behavior is distressing to you and that you are trying to handle this with kindness. If you truly want to learn more about what you can and cannot do to help, please contact MAAP Services for Autism, Asperger Syndrome and PDD on his own problems, and the constant complaining ensures that you will fo- cus on him, as well. If this is the only thing about Cliff that bothers you, sim- Creators ply ignore his complaints and sympa- Syndicate Inc. thize when you feel up to it. Dear Annie: I am an RN who Kathy Mitchell worked in long-term care for many and years. We had mandatory sensitivity Marcy Sugar training of staff toward seniors. It is not only patronizing, but also belittling (aspergersyndrome.org), the Autism to any adult to address them as “hon- Society (autism-society.org) or Autism ey” or “sweetheart” or anything other Speaks (autismspeaks.org). than their given name. Our staff was Dear Annie: I am divorced and taught to address them with respect have been dating a younger guy for and ask what they wish to be called. three years. At the moment, “Cliff” I recently retired and my hair is doesn’t have a stable job and constant- WXUQLQJJUD\DQG,VXGGHQO\¿QGVHUY- ly complains that he has no money. ers and customer service people call- But he has a nice place and car (with ing me “honey.” We seem to treat any- his parents’ help) and enough cash to one past a certain age as a child instead buy food, etc. of with the respect they deserve. When I will be moving into a new condo someone uses such patronizing terms with money from the sale of my house with me, I smile and say, “My name is and some help from my parents. I work not ‘Honey.’ It is Joan.” If they are re- part time and don’t make a lot, but I ceptive, I explain why it is disrespect- manage OK. Many people I know are ful to address an adult in this manner. I having a hard time right now, but Cliff do this in a kind way and consider it a thinks he is the only one. How can I mini-sensitivity training session. ask him to stop complaining about his ,ISHRSOH¿QGLWWRRGLI¿FXOWWRFRQ- ¿QDQFLDOVWDWH"²A. front waitstaff and others who are pa- Dear A.:3HRSOHZKRDUHKDYLQJ¿- tronizing them, they can carry a copy of QDQFLDOGLI¿FXOWLHVUDUHO\DUHFRQVROHG this column with them and leave it with by hearing about how much tougher the tip on the table. — Don’t Call Me it is for someone else. Cliff is focused Honey Unless You Are My Husband Annie’s Mailbox FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE ARIES (March 21-April 19). Don’t waste time worrying about whether your team- mates are strong enough. Focus instead on communicating well. You can do a fantastic job with an average team if you’re all on the same page. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You’ll witness amateur social moves: walking into the glass door, conversations dominated by detailed descriptions of a television show, epic drink spills, etc. If you don’t laugh, you’ll win loyalty and friendship. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You could be socially impeccable if you wanted to be, but what’s the fun in that? Take risks. If you’re not making any weird mistakes, you’re not form- ing the bonds you could be. CANCER (June 22-July 22). The tyranno- saurus rex is a strange mystery. So ferocious, but why such tiny arms? And did it have feathers or scales? You may never know, but with a little digging, you may find answers to a different powerful mystery today. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). At your heart, you want them to like you. But today it’s so im- portant that certain people respect you first and foremost. You might have to change your mode from “friendly” to “slightly intimidating.” VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). No matter what you do, there are certain people in this world who think of you as a fresh-faced youth. That can be wonderful, even though there are times when you really want to be taken seriously as an adult. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You suspect what the truth is, though part of your mind is busy spinning alternative versions that fa- vor your worldview and the reality you wish for. Face facts later — now is for living in the possibilities. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). It’s like you are standing at the intersection of life pushing the “walk” button with no results. Keep push- ing until that light comes on, and you can in- fluence the traffic pattern to let you cross this one safely. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Your ruling planet, Jupiter, with its massive gravita- tional pull, sucks many asteroids into its orbit that otherwise might have been a danger to Earth. There’s a person who will protect you in much the same way today. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You can never go back. You can physically put your- self there, but it’s just not the same, and so you’re not really back. Today’s gift is being as close to “back” as possible. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Everyone is discussing a new topic, and you won’t have much to say on the matter until after you’ve given yourself time alone to think about what you’ve heard. In other words, your best think- ing will happen after the fact. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). An interest- ing and very beneficial person will come into your mix. This is someone you’ll get to know best on a one-on-one basis, so arrange to meet outside of the group setting. THURSDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Feb. 16). Your head and heart are in the right place now, so take action. The rewards will be delayed just enough to make them sweet for you. In April, you’ll accept the responsibilities that go along with your goal and get someone’s love as a bonus. You’ll win a contest in June. Septem- ber brings a career breakthrough. Capricorn and Cancer people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 30, 1, 22, 38 and 50.