THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 2015
FEATURES
5A
She’s miserable and refusing help Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
Dear Annie: I am a healthy 50-years-
young woman in the midst of menopause.
I also have been diagnosed as mentally ill
with depression. I refuse to seek treat-
ment. I come from a culture where the
shame of admitting a mental illness is a
fate worse than death. So I sleep a lot.
I have a fine husband who wishes
nothing more than to be in a happy, healthy
relationship with me and our two young
children. I hurt everyone in my family with
my mercurial temper, frequent yelling over
trivial matters and causing general upset.
For a while now, I have refused any intima-
cy whatsoever with my husband, including
sweet talk and touching. I am completely
disinterested in sex. I know I am starving
my husband, and he is suffering. I’ve told
him to find someone else.
What should I do? Please don’t tell me
to get counseling. I have spoken to coun-
selors in the past, and nothing has helped
because I insist I am a victim and that all
of my problems are someone else’s fault.
I cannot admit that I need mental health
assistance. I am miserable, in every sense
of the word. — Frigid in New Hampshire
Dear Frigid: You’ve admitted to us
that you need mental health assistance,
and we agree. You are being unfair to
yourself, as well as your family. So do
you want to continue being miserable,
alienating your husband and children sim-
ply to avoid shame (of which there should
be none), or do you genuinely want to
lies with pets, and their homes are cleaner.
I don’t understand why they refuse to see
it.
If I confront them, I risk the friend-
Creators
ship. If I quit accepting invitations, I risk
Syndicate Inc.
the friendship. Is there a kind way to tell
them? — Louisville, Ky.
Kathy Mitchell
Dear Louisville: Maintaining a hair-
and
free home when you have three pets
Marcy Sugar
requires frequent cleaning, which your
friends apparently are no longer up to
make your life better? Whatever underly- handling. Are they in good health? Per-
ing issues you may have are likely exacer- haps they are not physically able to clean
bated by menopause. If you cannot admit or supervise where the animals go. How
that you need help for depression, perhaps is their vision? Maybe they cannot see
you would seek help to alleviate some of the animal hair. If you can express your
your menopausal symptoms. Your gyne- concern about their health, that could be
cologist can recommend medication that a kind way to approach the subject. Oth-
can do both. Please try.
erwise, feel free to make excuses not to
Dear Annie: How do you tell a cou- visit, but please invite them to your home
SOHWKH\KDYHD¿OWK\KRXVH"8SXQWLOUH- so they don’t feel you dislike them.
cently, they seemed to make an effort, but
Dear Annie: I could relate to the let-
ODWHO\ZH¿QGLWGLI¿FXOWWRDFFHSWLQYLWD- ter from “Frustrated.” When my husband
tions to their home. They are nice people, lost interest in sex, I began to masturbate.
but we are not so close that we can tell I went to confession, and the priest ex-
them about this.
plained that it is not a sin to accept the
Their two dogs have the run of the lesser of two evils. He told me to allow
house. The cat is allowed to crawl on my husband to pleasure me when he is
the kitchen counters and tables. There is willing. Otherwise, I should do what I
a thick accumulation of pet hair that rolls need to avoid the worst alternatives, such
DFURVV WKHLU ÀRRUV OLNH WXPEOHZHHG DQG as adultery.
sticks in the folds of their sofa. You could
It was so simple, and I am forever
knit a sweater with what you’d sweep up grateful to him. My wonderful husband
in one room. When I leave their house, I and I still love each other, just not phys-
feel like I need a bath. I know other fami- ically. — FaiWhIul and SaWis¿ed
Annie’s
Mailbox
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
STONE SOUP
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You’re grateful
to those who have mentored and cared for
you in your life, and yet there are still areas
in which you feel you have been completely
unguided. Seek assistance now.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You get the
feeling that a certain person is only nice to
you when he or she wants something. Good
observation. It’s not your fault that some peo-
ple only care about what’s in it for them.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). If you were
to write a bucket list, it would include a few
spectacular happenings, but mostly personal
accomplishments and small, meaningful ex-
changes. That’s what drives you to work hard
and connect with others today.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). When your
idols aren’t doing anything that makes you
want to worship them, it’s time to get new
influences. Branch out and ask friends and
colleagues who they’re paying attention to
and what they’re doing for enjoyment lately.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). New friends bring
good fortune. You’ll extend your network by
attending a group, accepting an invite or
(best of all) shaking hands and introducing
yourself.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). It’s nice when
the people closest to you seem to really
know and understand you, but it’s not nec-
essary for your happiness. That’s why you
can let today’s misunderstanding go and do
something nice for yourself.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Sometimes you
need a break from being awesome at life,
and you can safely take one today. Sure, you
still have responsibilities to attend to, but they
can be handled with minimal effort. Just fly
under the radar.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Instead of
fighting distraction, today it may benefit you
more to make room for distraction and let
yourself follow it, perhaps without calling it
“distraction” at all. Isn’t it really just curiosity?
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). It’s
strange when you sit down to think of action
steps and positive differences you can make
and what comes out of it seems more neg-
ative. That’s because grievances must be
aired before they’ll go away.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You like
fun-loving people, but you are also skeptical
of them when their love of fun seems much
more serious than their love of doing the job
at hand. Trust your instincts and get the right
person for the job.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Yes, there
were certain efforts you made that, by all ap-
pearances, were made completely in vain.
But the deeper truth is that no effort is made
completely in vain. You benefit others even
when you don’t realize it.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Get some-
one to help you with your workflow — nailing
the right pattern will be key to your success.
Even with help, it will take time to work out the
kinks, but considerably less time than trying
to figure it out on your own.
TUESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Feb. 24). You
have an image in your head about who you
want to be. You’ll put quite a lot of effort into
your life choices over the next 10 weeks, and
then living the way you prefer will seem far
easier, nearly automatic. April brings a shiny,
fancy present. May keeps the entertainment
coming. You’ll change roles at work in June.
Aries and Taurus people adore you. Your
lucky numbers are: 30, 1, 22, 31 and 17.