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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 19, 2015)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 2015
She’s tired of husband ignoring son Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
Dear Annie: I have been married to
“Bob” for 11 years. Once we had our
son, “Jack,” everything changed. Bob
found excuses not to be home, worked
all kinds of overtime or had to “go some-
where.” I can count on one hand the
times he did anything with Jack or was
even home on a weekend during our
Jack is now 8 and has no real rela-
tionship with his father and no desire for
one. When he was little and asked where
Daddy was, I covered for Bob, but now
that Jack is older, he knows what’s what.
The kid is no dummy.
Things continue to get worse. Bob
accepts no responsibility for his son. He
makes nearly twice my salary, but won’t
give me a dime toward Jack’s clothes,
shoes or school supplies, let alone birth-
day presents, although he wants his
name on the gifts. He even tries to get
out of paying for groceries and babysit-
ters. Bob pays the mortgage and the tax-
es. Everything else is my responsibility. I
carry Jack on my health insurance.
I also don’t like to leave Jack alone
with his father. If anything goes wrong,
Bob blames Jack and ends up hollering
at him for ridiculous things like forget-
ting to turn off a light or not wanting to
go to the store with him, and then lays a
guilt trip on the boy, saying, “Don’t you
want to spend time with me?”
I have tried talking to Bob about
this. I tell him it is the parents’ responsi-
bility to make time for their children, not
the other way around. He refuses coun-
seling, saying he doesn’t need anyone to
tell him how to raise his kid.
Jack already has anger issues and
acts out. I am ready to give up on our
marriage. Bob and I are more like room-
mates than spouses. I sometimes think
Jack and I would be better off on our
own. Any advice? — Sinking Ship in
Dear Pennsylvania: Bob withholds
funds for the support of his family and
either neglects or yells at his son. These
things can be interpreted as forms of
abuse. Bob has no interest in counseling
because he has no interest in being a bet-
ter father. Sometimes leaving this type of
situation is healthier than staying. Please
get counseling for yourself and for Jack
and decide your best course of action.
Dear Annie: I’ve been dating “Joe”
for a year. We are both divorced parents.
My children are in college, and Joe’s
17-year-old daughter lives with him.
“Tawny” is a nice young lady, but she re-
lies on us to provide her with a social life.
Tawny attended one semester at a
nearby community college. She was
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home all day. She rarely does house-
work. I understand that she is bored and
lonely and have suggested she do some
volunteer work to get out and meet peo-
ple. Joe is as frustrated as I am. He has
spoken to Tawny about it, but nothing
has changed. I don’t mind including her
in our plans once in a while, but she ex-
pects to go everywhere with us and has
attitude if she’s not invited. She even fol-
lows us from room to room.
Joe has asked me to move in with
him, but I don’t want to end up resenting
Tawny and creating problems with our
relationship. — Help
Dear Help: Please do not move in
with Joe. Instead, suggest that Tawny
get counseling for what could be depres-
sion and to help her gain focus. That girl
needs guidance, and Joe isn’t providing
Dear Annie: I read the letter from
“Concerned Daughter,” whose recently
divorced mother was suicidal and even
held her brother’s gun to her head. Your
advice was good, but you didn’t mention
the most important thing: Lock up and
hide the darn gun. — Connecticut
FRANK AND ERNEST
WIZARD OF ID
ROSE IS ROSE
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You can-
not change another person. However,
when you offer your assistance without
the expectation that the other person will
change, you will make a difference.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You refuse
to see any situation as tragic or futile and
are determined to find whatever advan-
tage might exist. You’ll be successful in
this quest, brightening the world for you
and the ones you love.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). When you
connect with a person as well as you
connect with a certain someone, you can
communicate profoundly in total silence.
Therefore, don’t worry about what you’ll
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Fantasies
become realities. It happens all the time,
so why not for you? Some small occur-
rence that you wished would happen will
materialize in front of your eyes.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Needing vali-
dation makes you vulnerable. If there are
words you long to hear, then hearing them
will only weaken you. Be strong on your
own, keep your power, validate yourself.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You wish ev-
eryone well — yes, every single person.
That doesn’t mean you have to like them
all. When you don’t expect to have a great
affinity for most people you have to deal
with, the way becomes smoother.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Sometimes
you feel so connected to nature and the
energy of it around you that you wish you
could go live in the woods. Appreciating
natural beauty makes you more naturally
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). There’s
a protocol, but don’t feel overly obligated
to follow it. Pretending won’t work today,
but doors will open to you when you show
who you really are.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Terri-
torial issues will come up. There’s a lot you
can let slide until next week. Everything
that irritates you about others can lead
you to a better understanding of yourself.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You
genuinely want to make the world a better
place for people, but your methods don’t
always project that intent. Let them know
that your actions are aimed at the greater
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’ll
search for the value in interactions, and
it shouldn’t be so hard to find. When you
click with people and you are where you
belong, the value will be glaringly obvi-
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Know-
ing when you’re in over your head is one
thing; admitting it is quite another. With a
bit of humility, you’ll attract a teacher who
is willing to help you in your quest to make
THURSDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Feb. 20).
Love embraces you all year. How do you
know it’s the right plan for you? As it pulls
you along, it seems to reverse the effects
of gravity. Your strong choice in March
starts a new career trajectory. A magical
experience in your personal life in April will
escalate a relationship. Your expenses will
be paid in August. Taurus and Virgo peo-
ple adore you. Your lucky numbers are:
39, 45, 28, 15 and 19.