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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 17, 2015)
FEATURES 6A THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 2015 It’s OK to set boundaries at home Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Annie: My wife’s sister is 21, lives with her parents and has extremely violent long-lasting outbursts that culmi- nate in her being verbally and physically abusive. “Mindy” tells everyone she is suicidal, although she has never made any attempt to harm herself. She obvi- ously has deep psychological issues, yet absolutely refuses treatment. At our last visit, I swore to myself that neither our young son nor I would be subjected to her outbursts again. Here’s the problem. Our son will be 2 years old soon, and we want to give him a birthday party. But if his grandparents come, it will be nearly impossible to keep Mindy from showing up. And I cannot imagine trying to explain to her why she isn’t invited. All of her behaviors will cer- tainly occur, as they seem to be brought on in group settings where she is not the focus of attention. Annie, can her parents do anything to force her to get treatment? How do we handle family gatherings where we want my parents-in-law to come because we adore them, but we can’t tolerate Mindy? — At a Loss Dear At a Loss: Your wife should speak to her parents and explain that Min- dy is not welcome around your son be- cause she is unable or unwilling to control her abusive behavior. It is dangerous and frightening for a 2-year-old to be subjected to such outbursts. Mindy should be aware Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar that she is responsible for her actions, and if she is out of control and feels suicidal, she should speak to a therapist who can help her. You cannot decide how your in- laws choose to deal with Mindy, but you can set the boundaries in your own home. Your son’s welfare comes ¿rst. Dear Annie: My mother gave me a set of wine glasses that she received on her wedding day almost 60 years ago. When my nephew married, I gave him these glasses as a wedding gift. After six months, the marriage was dissolved, and my nephew moved back in with his parents (my brother and his wife). At that time, I asked my nephew to be sure to get the wine glasses in the divorce because I wanted them to stay in the family. That was 10 years ago. My nephew has since remarried. I have attended two dinners at my broth- er’s home where my sister-in-law served wine in these same glasses. Once, she even served a glass to my mother. I nearly freaked out. Did my nephew have the right to give those glasses to anyone he chose? Can I suggest that if he no longer wants them, I’d like them back so I can gift them to my niece? Or do I just forget about them? — Wine-ing in Wisconsin Dear Wisconsin: When your mother gave you those glasses, did she put restric- tions on what you could do with them? Apparently not. Yet you are doing that to your nephew. Heirloom items should stay in the family, and your nephew is respect- ing that by giving the glasses to his par- ents. Please make sure your brother un- derstands that you would like them back should he ever decide to get rid of them. Dear Annie: My ex-husband could be “Estranged Dad,” whose daughter didn’t invite him to her wedding. Here’s the other side: As a child, our daughter wanted Dad to take her to see her favorite hockey play- er. Instead, he took her brothers, saying, “Hockey isn’t for girls.” When she went away to college, he took money from her account to buy gas to visit her. He once took all of her saved tuition money to pay his back taxes. She had to get a second job and needed an extra two years to gradu- ate. He will never apologize because he thinks he did nothing wrong. He wasn’t invited to her wedding and has no clue why. — Mom Who’s Seen Both Sides FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE ARIES (March 21-April 19). Where’s your stash of mad cash? You know, the money you can spend on whatever you want, no guilt. You’ll find something worthy of pur- chase today. If you don’t have this kind of a stash, it’s a lucky time to start saving. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Truth-telling time: You don’t mind inclement weather because it gives you an excuse to stay in. When the weather is fine, you don’t have the excuse, and you’ll have to create one. You just really want to stay in. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). There’s something you want to know, and you might go so far as to snoop to figure it out. Is this wrong? You’ll have to make the mor- al determinations alone, because if you tell, the whole thing changes. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’ll de- bate staying in or going out. This probably pertains to the weekend, but you have to make the decision now because your plans won’t come together if you wait. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Being cool won’t necessarily make you happy. Also, if you know better, smiling and nodding won’t work. Dare to be uncool, and don’t go along with things you know aren’t quite right. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Having your work cut out for you is actually a good thing when you think about it — better than hav- ing your work uncut and trying to figure out what you’re supposed to do. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). There was once a popular vaudeville routine involving three comedians in which the comedian who got the punchline also got a banana. You’re top banana today, getting all the laughs. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). It’s time to face the fact that you have real needs that are not being met. A breathtaking moment is the main feature of the day. You’ll be talking about this one with your best friends. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Sometimes it feels like you’re being forced to act like you’re having fun. Roll with it, and then don’t be surprised when the act turns into actual fun and lots of it. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Your habits will define you, at least in the eyes of others. This is the reason you try so hard today to change one of them, and if you keep trying daily for the rest of February, you’ll succeed. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You don’t mind taking on other people’s perspective as a way of finding out where they are coming from. Just be sure to give that per- spective back after you try it on, because your own perspective will serve you much better. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). According to one song, sleeping eyes never lie. Last night’s dreams had some rather interest- ing truths hidden inside them, if you can remember that far back. If not, the same truth will show up in your day. WEDNESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Feb. 18). You’ll dream up ways to get rich this year. Having your own business is one route to wealth, and also you’ll have a knack for picking the right investment. Someone who builds a fortune out of almost nothing will inspire you. Disassociate yourself from a negative influence, and a beautiful per- son drops into your life in April. Pisces and Virgo people adore you. Your lucky num- bers are: 50, 3, 29, 15 and 17.
