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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 22, 2015)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, JANUARY 22, 2015
Guilt arises over ignoring family Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
Dear Annie: My father died a year
ago. Since then, I have ignored my ex-
tended family, but I’m close to my chil-
dren and grandchildren. Christmas passed
and I never phoned my sick mother, even
though I live 15 minutes away. I want to
make it right, but can’t just waltz into their
lives and say, “Here I am.”
My younger sister has been taking
care of Mom without a break. I can’t
stand to be around my older sister, who
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and judgmental, and frankly, she scares
me. And then there’s my mother. We have
a strained relationship. When I was a little
girl, my parents would argue and she’d
tell my father to leave and take me with
him. Only me. My mom always treats
my siblings and their children with kid
gloves, but my sweet, intelligent kids she
treats like lepers.
I want my family to be together like
we used to be. If you could print this,
maybe my mother and sisters would see it
and know that I beg their forgiveness. —
Lost in Louisville, Ky.
Dear Louisville: Here’s what we see:
You resent your mother for the favorable
treatment she has always shown your sib-
lings and their children. You dislike your
older sister for her overbearing attitude.
You feel guilty about your younger sis-
ter, who took on the burden of caring for
Mom. And you miss Dad, who was the
Start with your younger sister. Tell her
you went into a tailspin when Dad died
and you deeply regret abandoning her.
Ask what you can do now. Then go see
your mother. Phone or email your older
sister. You will have to put up with their
anger and disappointment, but that will
be temporary while you work on forgive-
ness. You might also consider counseling
to work through some of your family is-
Dear Annie: My husband and I have
been married more than 30 years, and
every year he buys me gifts that don’t
require much thought. He gets lovely
things for our daughter, son-in-law and
even co-workers, and I know he puts a
lot of time into the selection. But the gifts
he gives me always make me want to
cry. Last Christmas, I got a bug suction
machine. The year before, it was an orga-
nizer for my spice cabinet. In all fairness,
he also gives me a generous gift card to
one of my favorite stores, but he knows
that I don’t get there often and the cards
sit in my drawer for months. Plus, it’s not
really special to get a gift card from my
husband, but I am grateful nonetheless.
I dread opening gifts, and my feelings
are hurt no matter how much I tell myself
it doesn’t matter. To me, it’s not the size of
the gifts; it’s whether he was truly think-
ing of me. So how can I tell him nicely
that he’d be doing me a favor by not get-
ting me any more gifts? — Midwest
Dear Midwest: Be sure that’s what
you want, because if you tell him not to
buy you anything, he will stop complete-
ly. And has it occurred to you that perhaps
his assistant buys the other gifts, but con-
siders yours too personal and leaves it for
Mr. Clueless? Talk to your husband about
this. Teach him how to be more thought-
ful. Explain what you mean. Give him
concrete suggestions. But that bug suction
machine made our day.
Dear Annie: “Gotta Dance” says his
mom doesn’t support his desire to tap
dance. She needs to recognize the bene-
My 13-year-old son has taken dance
lessons (tap, hip-hop and musical the-
ater) since kindergarten. It keeps his core
muscles in shape when he’s not playing
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around girls, since he is the only boy in
the class. I don’t expect it to be his profes-
sion, but I hope he continues for as long as
he wants. — Proud in Omaha
FRANK AND ERNEST
WIZARD OF ID
ROSE IS ROSE
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Your past
will inform your future, if you care to look at
it very carefully. This day is a fast rush, so
that kind of review may seem impossible,
but knowing you, you’ll find the time for a
moment of reflection.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). The more
you give the more you want to give; it feels
so good. Your generosity will make a differ-
ence for those who need it, and it will make
an impression on those who could stand
to give more.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’ll meet
someone who knows about the subject you
are extremely interested in of late. If your
questions are met with resistance, assure
your subject that your interest is impersonal.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Do you dare
head out on a quest? The distances you
travel may not be physical miles, but you will
arrive at a new place anyhow. You will be a
friend to many fellow travelers, though some
relationships will emerge as special.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Honor tradition.
The simple act of sitting down to a meal
with loved ones will be grounding. The
regular things about life get you grounded
for what promises to be an action-packed
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Your nearest
will appreciate what you do, because they
see how much effort it takes, though they
don’t understand the intricacy of it. Next in
line are those with similar skills. They really
get it. Keep them close now.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’ll com-
pare yourself, to the extent that it helps you
maintain a competitive edge. Also, you’ll
be funny when it counts, and that’s part of
your appeal to your many followers.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You have
so much work to do and no clue how you’re
going to accomplish it all. Other people —
that’s the answer. And when you’re giving
instructions, you’ll be simultaneously as-
sertive and laid-back. Amazing!
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). They
like the results, yet they still may have a
criticism. That is unacceptable. Let your
people know that they can’t have the effort
without the person who is doing the work.
Don’t let them disrespect you.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). There’s
a physical chasm to be crossed with hu-
man ability. Take the chance. The more dif-
ficult the risk the more winning power you’ll
put into the leap.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Segal’s
law suggests that a man with one watch
knows what time it is and that a man with
two watches is never sure. This is a time to
limit your knowledge sources.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). People
will say the wrong thing from time to time.
Be patient with someone who is socially
awkward. And if that someone happens to
be you, then afford yourself a measure of
FRIDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Jan. 23). You
love your work and look forward to the in-
teractions of each relationship. This makes
for a motivated, happy, optimal state of
being. There’s a financial bonus in Febru-
ary. March comes with travel opportunities.
May brings a switch of the career direction,
and you’ll be ready for it. Give your heart
in July. Aries and Cancer adore you. Your
lucky numbers are: 15, 6, 33, 41 and 28.