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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 13, 2015)
FEATURES 6A THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, JANUARY 13, 2015 Say bye to workaholic partner Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Annie: My boyfriend and I are in our 60s and have been together for 12 years. We recently had a disagree- ment, and he walked away. I emailed him and he said he has feelings for me and always will, but he can’t make me happy. He said I need someone who is am. He has no pension, no savings and a business that is barely surviving. He also told me that his health problems are why we haven’t had sex in four years. worked out. He used to phone me ev- ery night and I miss that. After previous disagreements, he always came back. He said he doesn’t want to be in a rela- tionship now and needs to look after his business. He claims to be a workaholic. Should I contact him again? — J. Dear J.: How much do you want to suffer? There are reasons this man is incapable of being in a perma- nent relationship. If he wants that to change, he would likely need coun- seling to understand his motivations better. But you cannot make that happen. You can only decide what is best for YOU. Unless this man gets help and makes major changes to his life, he cannot give you any type of commitment, nor does he want to. He prefers to leave the relationship. We think you should let him. Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar Dear Annie: When our relatives come for a visit, as they do every win- ter without fail, why do they expect to be treated to free accommodations and free meals, which we provide year after year, while they never offer a coffee- cake or pizza or, better yet, to prepare one of the many meals expected during their visit? An offer to treat us to a meal at a restaurant, even breakfast, would be welcomed. From my perspective, these “guests” freely take our time, our generosity and our kindness at a most stressful time of year, and their only form of apprecia- tion is the blanket invitation to “come on down” offered at their departure. Why don’t they mention possible dates for a future visit to make the invitation seem genuine? These guests do not suggest or pay for activities while visiting us. They think that since they paid to travel to us, we should be willing to cover all ex- penses while they are here. And since it is their vacation, they treat us as their employees. We love our family members. We are happy to see them at every oppor- tunity. But we feel taken advantage of, especially when they notify us of the dates for their next visit. — Planning Now Dear Planning: You are being too accommodating, and they are clueless. You need to set some ground rules. This is family. They visit every year. It’s OK to tell them what you expect. Ask them to pitch in for groceries and to help in the kitchen. Once they under- stand that even guests have obligations, these visits will run more smoothly for everyone. Dear Annie: This is in regards to “Outvoted,” who is debating with her siblings about replacing the batteries in Mom’s pacemaker. My family had the same problem. Dad was 92. My sister and I wanted to let him go peacefully, but my mom and brother wanted the batteries changed. We are now living a nightmare. Dad has full-blown dementia. My sister and I are the caregivers, as my brother lives three hours away and Mom is too frail to care for him. Dad is ornery and hits on every woman he sees. I change his soiled dia- pers and give FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE ARIES (March 21-April 19). You’re al- lowed to make lists that you have no in- tention of ever executing, and it’s a good exercise for today. A list can be like a play- ground for your mind, a mental way of try- ing things on for size. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You’re still trying to break yourself of a certain habit that no longer serves you well. You’ll have more success when you think of replacing the habit with a better one. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Before you let yourself fall for the thing that is out of reach, be sure it’s worth falling for. Make sure that “unobtainable” isn’t the most ap- pealing thing about it. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Hold on, because today’s atmosphere may turn wild, hectic and unsupportive. It’s why you need to give yourself a good breakfast and leave plenty of time for getting from place to place. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). No one can be exactly like you, though a few will try! Take it as a compliment. You’re the big sibling of the zodiac now, and the others are learn- ing from the way you manage things. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). The ones who try to eliminate the competition through negative press are clearly inse- cure about what they have to offer. The only legitimate way to eliminate the com- petition is to do it better, faster or cheaper. Maybe all three! LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Today features high stakes and intense com- petition. Keep in mind that an obliging attitude will gain you more respect than any fine trapping you could drive around in or throw on your back. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You give smiles, help and many other things be- sides money. It just doesn’t quite feel right to hand over cash. Tighten those purse strings. Hold back until you’re sure where your money will do the most good. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Change is natural, but it’s not always easy. In order to become who you want to be, you have to sacrifice something about the person you are now. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Happi- ness is simple today. You put your whole self into mundane tasks like paying bills or making dinner. Consequently, your good fortune will continue. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Without an injection of fantasy, things could get very dull indeed. Today is for imagining something different for your life. Draw it or write about it to flesh out the delightful details. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). The social basics will apply: no whispering or telling secrets about others. If everyone would keep these rules, the world would be a much happier place. WEDNESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Jan. 14). What makes this year’s story so great is that whatever comes, love and persever- ance will win out in the end. The next six weeks bring a lucky break. Just don’t try to grow too quickly, and save your money. March is a happy song for your love life, and many people will be happy to share your joy. Aries and Gemini people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 5, 23, 4, 11 and 14.