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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 8, 2015)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, JANUARY 8, 2015 FEATURES 5A Distance growing between them Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Annie: Twelve years ago, I married my best friend, lover and the woman I believed to be my partner for life. Before we married, my wife and I were physically active: hiking, biking, skiing, rollerblading, you name it. We enjoyed movies, plays, board games and talking for hours. We also had a fantastic sex life. Seven years ago, all of that began to change. She lost interest in outdoor activities and board games. Hours of talking have been replaced with hours in front of the TV or staring into our cellphones and computers. Our sex life became nearly nonexistent. We’ve both put on a little weight, but for me, it’s 10 pounds, and for my wife, it’s 40. I still think she’s incredibly sexy and tell her regimen and a few years ago started competing in triathlons. My wife views this as encroaching on our social life. I love my wife, but I’m no longer in love with her the way I once was. Not long ago, we had a heart-to-heart, and I said I no longer wanted to be married to her and told her why. She responded by telling me she recognized that I had been pulling away and understood why. She said she wished things could be different, but she would move forward. Since “the talk,” my wife has been extremely clingy and insecure, wanting to know my whereabouts and activities at all Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar times. Where I suffered sexual frustration in silence for years, my wife is now quite vocal about having her sexual needs met. Annie, I can’t manufacture feelings for her, sexual or otherwise, and I am still leaning toward the exit. I feel staying is dishonest, but leaving means I’m not giving our relationship a chance. What do I do? — Crossroads in California Dear Crossroads: Your wife doesn’t want you to leave. That is why she is clingy, insecure and demanding more sex. In the past seven years, you have gradually become disillusioned with your married life, but you only told your wife about it recently. You haven’t given her the time to work on to leave, please get into counseling with “best friend” and “partner for life” you married. It’s not too late. Dear Annie: I am a 67-year-old widow. My husband died six years ago. We enjoyed a good sex life, and I miss it very much. I would like to relieve my- self (masturbation), but I don’t know how the Catholic Church feels about it, and I don’t want to ask my priest. Is it a mortal or venial sin? Or are they more lenient these days? Can you please, please help me? — Frustrated Dear Frustrated: According to the New Catholic Encyclopedia, masturba- tion is still a mortal sin. However, there are “conditions of anxiety or other psy- chological or social factors that lessen or even extenuate moral culpability,” making it a venial sin. We know the Church’s position matters to you, but our position is that masturbation is a perfectly reasonable alternative for someone who is widowed. Please con- sider talking to your priest about this. He has undoubtedly heard it before. Dear Annie: I read the letter from “California Patient,” who complained I would suggest “California” talk di- rectly with the physician regarding the long wait times. When I experienced this same problem with my kids’ pedia- trician, I discovered the doctor was not aware of the problem. It was his staff that scheduled the appointments too close together. The pediatrician thanked me for letting him know, and the wait times decreased substantially after that. — Been There FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE ARIES (March 21-April 19). There is a difference between ignoring advice alto- gether and choosing to disregard it. You’ll educate yourself and then deliberately forget what you learned in favor of finding your own way. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). One way to assist yourself in making positive choices is to make them far in advance of when you must. Planning your food, work, play and rest very carefully will help you incorporate the new habits you want to establish. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Powerful people need friends, too! Befriend the high-ranking officials of the group. Tonight, spending money on yourself won’t make you nearly as happy as spending it on someone else would. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Your cre- ative mind is abuzz and needs to wander and explore. At some point during the day, you would benefit from giving yourself a stretch of free time to see what you can come up with. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Certain people have a way of contaminating your clarity. Limit your exposure to these people today, and a strong sense of purpose will rise to the surface to guide your every move. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). As hard as you try, you can never completely under- stand your love. Embrace the mystery, be- cause it provides delightful tension in your relationship. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Instead of thinking about what could be, think about what is. The current reality holds so much beauty and utility in it, and you’ll miss it all if you waste too much time wishing. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Why sur- vive when you can thrive? Add more re- sponsibility to your plate, and you’ll quickly find out what’s really important. Tonight, someone will send you subliminal love notes. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Avoid giving the impression that you are angling for something, especially if you are. People will throw up resistance if they know you want something. Play it mellow, like there’s nothing in the world you really need. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You’re a sponge for knowledge. The best teach- er of all will be firsthand experience. Dive in. Things will not happen in the expected order, but everything will get handled none- theless. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You like and admire a certain person, but you will not take the relationship to the next level until you feel sure that your styles mesh well together. Tonight will bring a test in this regard. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). It will take a shift of perspective to move you to the next income level. This can’t be forced, but just knowing that you’ll have to see things differently will help free up your vision. FRIDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Jan. 9). Your ca- reer will get a boost this month because of the confident way you present yourself, especially to strangers. Joyful relationships will lead to adventures in February. Go into business in April, and you’ll start mak- ing money right away. May brings a lucky surprise for your family. Libra and Scorpio people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 40, 16, 2, 23 and 45.