FEATURES
6A
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, JANUARY 5, 2015
Grandmother’s loss not her fault Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
Dear Annie: I lost my grandmother
to suicide when I was 7. The day before
Grandma died, she made comments to
me about going away where I could not
go with her and “going to be with her
mother,” who had died. I did not under-
stand what she was saying.
Several weeks after the funeral, I
told my mother what my grandmother
said to me. For years after, it felt as
though my mother blamed me for her
mother’s death. I grew up feeling this
way.
Two years ago, I overheard my
mother tell a friend on the phone that
she did, in fact, blame me for my grand-
mother’s death. I cannot tell you how
much this hurt me. I am now in my 30s,
and my mother and I have had other is-
sues in the past, but never as hurtful as
this. Since my grandmother’s death, I
have been in counseling for depression,
my own suicide attempts and the un-
bearable guilt that I feel.
The therapists have told me that
Grandma’s death was not my fault, but
how can I believe them when my own
mother blames me? How do I explain
to her that I was only 7 and didn’t un-
derstand what Grandma was telling
me? I have crying spells and am hurting
inside. Please help. — Abandoned
Dear Abandoned: You know your
grandmother’s death was not your fault.
You understand that at the age of 7, you
Annie’s
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could not possibly be held responsible
for her suicide. Your mother wants to
blame you because it is less painful than
blaming herself for not noticing how
unhappy her mother was. But frankly,
there is no reason to blame anyone. The
depression you suffer from (and that
Grandma apparently suffered from) is
likely a form of inherited mental illness.
Please discuss this with your counsel-
or, and ask about having your mother
come with you. It sounds as though she
never fully processed what happened.
She could use some help, too.
Dear Annie: My wife can’t stop
interrupting me while I’m talking. She
she just moves on to the next thing she
wants to say without waiting for me to
My wife is aware that there is a
problem, and she feels bad when I point
it out, but she evidently can’t do any-
thing about it. She doesn’t even realize
she’s doing it unless I tell her, “You
interrupted me again.” There are times
when I don’t feel like talking to her be-
cause I know she’s just going to cut me
off. What can either of us do? — Cut
Short
Dear Cut: If your wife truly wants
to stop and you are willing to make the
effort, you can train each other. First
check your own speech habits. Do you
drone on and on? Do you restate the ob-
vious? Do you repeat yourself? Work
on shorter sentences, and then help your
before speaking. This will require that
she make a genuine effort, and you will
need to remind her, gently, each time
she interrupts.
Dear Annie: I am moved to respond
to “Unhappy Mother of a Son.” I have
been living that life. After getting pro-
the fault is not mine. My daughter-in-
law quite simply does not, for whatever
reason, want to share my son’s life with
me. And I have to recognize that my
son has no appreciation for me or is too
lacking in character to stand up for me.
If there are grandchildren, I would
suggest “Unhappy” cultivate a rela-
tionship with them in whatever way
possible. They have the right to make
their own judgments. The hurt never
goes away, but life is more than being
a mother. — Sad but Wiser
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
STONE SOUP
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Take creative
risks, but not financial ones. Don’t believe
what you hear from a salesperson: “Be like
the 1 percent.” Check the terms and condi-
tions before you sign.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Keep going
— you’re headed for a milestone. Some-
one is watching you and learning from your
methods. Tonight, negotiate the fine line be-
tween rushing and doing things quickly.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’ll act in
accordance with your clothes. Use this pow-
er to your advantage today, and dress the
way you want yourself to behave. There’s a
large chunk of work to be done and a small
amount of time in which to do it.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Counterin-
tuitive methods could be very effective. It’s
one of those times when you may have
to lose to win or drop out in order to gain
ground. A certain someone is proving to be
a friend, dear and true.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Practice positive
thinking. A sunny attitude will reduce your
overall stress level and help you stay fo-
cused on your top priorities. The afternoon
will bring a nifty professional development.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Dive in and
do the hard work. As you focus on your ca-
reer, things will automatically get better in
your relationships, too. Tonight, you’ll gain
the upper hand in a situation that felt out of
control.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You don’t have
to settle. If you dare to hold out for some-
thing grand — something resembling the
books you have read and the fantasy life
of your daydreams — you won’t be disap-
pointed
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Though you
have a wealth of experience in the world,
there are ways in which you are still inno-
cent. It will be apparent to you how much
you have to learn, and the day will bring a
good teacher, too.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The
holidays were great for your spirits, but not
for your bank balance. It’s an excellent time
to do some financial planning for the year
ahead. You will make your goals quietly and
let your actions speak to them.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Make
a game out of the more tedious aspects
of work. Because you are so good at cre-
ating fun, people want to be around you.
There will be someone you need to forgive
tonight.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Someone
who has taken a ride on the roller coaster of
love will be able to appreciate your impres-
sive emotional evenness as you overlook
minor grievances in favor of the big picture.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You’ll put in
more work than the others on your team.
It’s not fair, but it’s what’s necessary for the
group win. Note: Gossip will be harmful.
Stay away from it if you can. You won’t be
able to trust what you hear.
TUESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Jan. 6). Your
life is alive with possibility. It’s as though fate
has agreed to step back and let you write
your own story. Because you embrace im-
perfection this month, people feel they can
open up and get close to you. A tired habit
will just fall away effortlessly in March. April
brings stylish updates. Cancer and Scorpio
people adore you. Your lucky numbers are:
9, 3, 22, 24 and 11.