FEATURES
6A
Husband shows no affection
Dear Annie: I have been married to
my second husband for 28 years. For the
past 25, he has not shown me affection
or touched me. We do what he wants to
do, go where he wants to go, eat where
he wants to eat.
When I retired, I refused to be un-
happy. I still see my friends and go out
at least once a week. My marriage vows
said “until death do us part,” so I will not
divorce him.
My husband is very good to my chil-
dren and loves our grandchildren. I just
wish he loved me. I came from a family
who showed their love and always said
“I love you,” so this has been hard. I dat-
ed this man for two years, and I think I
married him because I wanted security.
Even though I loved him, I knew he
didn’t love me the same way. I just wish
I had a way out. Any suggestions? —
Need To Be Held
Dear Need: Since you aren’t willing
to consider a divorce, you have a limit-
ed number of “ways out.” You can get a
legal separation, which keeps your mar-
riage intact while allowing you to live
apart, leading separate lives. You can get
professional counseling, with or without
with the lack of affection or possibly en-
courage your husband to show more.
You can transfer your affection to your
grandchildren.
We’re glad you are getting out of the
Annie’s
Mailbox
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
Kathy Mitchell
and
Marcy Sugar
house with friends, and you might con-
sider doing more of that. In fact, please
consider doing volunteer work with ba-
bies at your local hospital.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from
“Need Help,” the young wife who
doesn’t like sex. I don’t believe she is un-
usual or unhealthy or necessarily asexu-
al. I felt the same way in my 20s and still
do in my 60s. I have a faithful husband
who likes regular sex. I would be happy
with frequent cuddling and only occa-
sional sex. I tried everything to change,
from hormones to counseling.
-
alizing (in my 40s) that I am lucky to
be a female and can perform sexually
whether I’m aroused or not. My hus-
band and I agreed on a frequency of
sex that meets his needs, and once in
a while, I enjoy it, too. The rest of the
time I enjoy the cuddling. Sex is some-
thing I do for our marriage. He makes
other compromises, such as talking
with me more than he would prefer.
You don’t need to be totally sexually
compatible. Marriage is full of compro-
mises. The hardest part is thinking you
are alone in this. You are not. — R.
Dear R.: Thank you so much for
pointing out that marriage is full of com-
promises, and you and your husband
have reached one when it comes to the
frequency of sex. But “Need Help” said
she doesn’t like to be touched and has
some deeply rooted aversions to sex, in-
cluding reading books about the subject.
She could be asexual, but we believe
from counseling. We hope she gets it.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from
“Barking Up a Tree,” whose neighbors
are breeding dogs, and the barking and
smell drives them crazy. Your response
left out one option: If the couple has tried
everything, they should document their
efforts and contact a lawyer.
The dog breeders are denying them
the “use and enjoyment” of their prop-
erty, and they can sue for injunctive
relief and damages. It should be a last
resort, but it could be very effective.
Sometimes a letter from an attorney
-
sue, they must be prepared to follow
through in case the dog breeders call
their bluff. Never bark unless you’re
prepared to bite. — Attorney
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
STONE SOUP
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, JANUARY 2, 2015
Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Boredom is
a threat to relationships. Being in a relation-
ship with someone who shares your sense
of humor will prevent you from having to
constantly entertain and excite the other
person (which is a lot of pressure).
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). The sec-
ond best thing that could happen is that
you could get what you want. The first best
is that you won’t. Neither would be disas-
trous, but the not getting what you want will
yield more obvious benefits.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’re a social
genius. You won’t say too much or too little,
you’ll stand for what you believe without
pushing it on others, and you’ll spend just
the right amount of time with each person.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). They’ll re-
spect your requests and honor your wish-
es. It’s not just because you said “please”;
it’s also because you’ve been racking up
the good karma and friendship points, and
it’s time to pony up.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Others see abil-
ities in you that you don’t readily recognize.
Listen up because this is more than flattery
— it’s honest insight that you would do well
to act on in the weeks to come.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). If you were
going to plan a rebellion, what or whom
would you rebel against? For most people,
the enemy who most requires conquering
is within. Revolt against whatever belief has
been getting you down or holding you back.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). When you
give your word, you believe this to be a
sacred pact and will go to great lengths to
keep it. That’s why you don’t give your word
so easily. Someone will ask you for it today.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Everyone
likes to be right, but most people are an-
noyed by the person who actually turns out
to be right — some will even find it unfor-
givable. It’s another reason to think twice
before you weigh in with an opinion.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Your
true friends are the ones you put up with
even when there is no obvious reason for
doing so. They may misbehave today, and
you won’t regret extending a free pass of
some sort.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). An
idea that used to be a regular guest in the
chambers of your mind will come back to
haunt you. It may be that there is a new
application for this idea, or that it now rep-
resents a plausible option.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Your fel-
low Aquarius Jules Renard summed it up
best: “The truly free man is the one who
can turn down an invitation to dinner with-
out giving an excuse.”
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Friends
would love you to disclose the scintillating
details of recent goings on. Just because
they want to know doesn’t make it their
business. You’ll be better off keeping the
main story to yourself for now.
SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Jan. 3). Love
fills you with purpose this year. You put peo-
ple’s feelings first, and suddenly meaning-
less tasks fall away from your list. You’re fo-
cused on only what matters: creating better
and better relationships. February increases
your bank account. April is your chance at a
top position. June brings a family addition.
Cancer and Virgo people adore you. Your
lucky numbers are: 44, 31, 2, 39 and 15.