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About Clackamas County record. (Oregon City, Clackamas County, Or.) 1903-190? | View Entire Issue (April 9, 1903)
0 ' HOW TO BE HAPPY. .Are? roc almost disgusted with life, little man? I'll tell you wonderful trick "That' will bring you contentment If any- thing can '.Do something for somebody quick. .Are., you awfully tired with play, little , girl? Weary. discouraged and sick? i I'll. tell, you the loveliest game iu the world . Do- something for somebody quick. 'Though it rains like the rain of the . flood, little mm) . And the clouJn are forbidding and thick. 'Tou can make the sun thine in your soul, . little man Do something for somebody quick. ".Though the stars are like brass overhead, .little girl. And the walks like a well-heated brick, And our enrthly affairs in a terrible whirl Do something for somebody quick. Boston Sunday Herald. . .THE BLUE DRESS. ""A HE was waiting in Madam Jack . ; Jo) son's, dressmaking parlors, where " the. large easy chair nearly en i veloped her sniall, shrinking figure. . . She was. not old, not more than thirsty-five, but already the bloom and I beauty of her youth had gone. There .were streaks of gray lu her brown '. hair; fine lines revealed themselves uu .der the Bad eyes. The cheeks were ; pale and a trifle sunken, and the hands, folded over, a parcel In her lap, were , rough and .calloused. Whoever she .was, life had gone hard with her. .Madam . Jackson came in. "You ; wished to see me?" she asked. . Madam Jackson was a large, Impos-'Jqg-looking . woman, clad in a rich I black dress. . .The little woman rose timidly. '.'Yes'ni," s3ie. answered. "1 I want ;ygu to make me a dress. If you will. .I'vevmade all my. own clothes ever since John aai I were married. They i haven't been tvery many, either," she . added. "But tthls is something dlffer .ent. We live tn a farm, and we raise : fruit and vegetables for market. Every ".WH.Y,1;KmiJs.wsy, jWT .iJPEAB, is it ;;BW,H.Y., XOtT.?" year .John,, has. said, to me.--".Well, Lot He, J goiess .this,. fall w .can afford that ;blve..dres8. :: . " She, .unrolled hr package carefully and smoothed orft.the clmrtli It con tfllned'W.lth.a, tender. .band. "I was ..tp..hftvejad this blue dress the .gecondysar we; were married," she explained. was .young then but somehow . something, always happened. Often we!difeave a .d)? .year, thesa;(igaln we'd have to buy , an extra ptow, ,or maybe & .co.wiwould.jjie, or something else would .eojue up, iso. I, never was able to get the. . dress yintil now, atntl we've bean .married sixteen, years. The last thing .John said to me when lie j gave me the :maey wau, "Now, Lost t, tie, don't .buy .anything ibut a blue . dress, and Just.fosget hop- long you've Waited for it:' "I'm afraid, though," she added, with a (-wistful Utile Alga, "it'a too late to . look well on me. Ju see, setting up ; at half-past two in .the morjslng to be . reay for market swill mrke .anyone , old, and I've worked .hard- Sometimes we have six men to .cook .for; tliat. is In .the busy season. Madam Jackson took the .roil ,of ,cloth in her hands. It -was a oft, ;beautlfut blue, fine and r$i In texture, .but it eou'-d make a dress suitable only if or a young girl; some cue With rosy, .cheeks apt! gold.en hair and dimples. ,It was so ,ar from being appropriate if or jthe little, stooping figure oppo-;! ite! Madam looked kindly at the pole Ut ile w.oeian. "j'm afraid," she began, "you'.U find .this color a little trying. A black or a gray or perhaps a dark brown would be more becoming. You understand--" Tbe wotnan .clasped her hands, "Don't aay J.t!" she cried. "Yes, I un derstand, but If yau only knew bow all these years I've wanted that blue dress! Something different from any thing I've bad. Ah, you needn't tell me! I know I'm faded and old, but, oh, I do want that bit of color for my own I If I can't wear it, I can at least look at It" A large tear shoae in worldly Madam Jackson's eye and she was not much given to tears. "Very well. she an swered; and then followed a discus sion of lining and thread. The woman came again In a few days to have the dress fitted. In one hand she carried a basket of purple grapes with the bloom still on them. "I've brought you these," she said to the dressmaker. "I picked them myself early this morning." "Thank you so much," was the warm answer. "I dearly love grapes, and those arc especially fine." In a few minutes the blue -Areas -went on over the this little figure. Some how Irs bright liue seemed a mock ery. It brought out o -clearly the gray hairs that would lave 4een -softened by a more sober color. The pale cneeks, too, looked whiter than before. The little woman saw Aer reflection in the tall mirror opposite, and sighed. "You were quite right," she said, idowly; "a darker olor would have been best, and jet somehow -I couldn't give It up. I've thought about It so much aU these years. Why, often when the work was hardest and the days longest, I've said to myself, '.Never mind, Charlotte, some of these days you're going to have -a beautiful blue dress,' and the-hope.of.lt some how kept me up." ""I understand," Madam Jackson said, gently. In a. few days the dress was. done. The customer came for it one morn ing, in a wagon driven by a tall, broad shouldered man, with a rugged, weath-er-beaten face. "Her husband," thought Madam Jackson, looking out of the window. The pale little .woman came hurried ly In. "John came with me to-day," she said, smiling, "and the dress oh, isn't it beautiful!" The blue gown lay across a chair. Madam Jackson -had done well with it It was finished off with silk of the same shade, and there .was a pretty lace collar and soft fine, ruffles of lace at the wrists. "You must let me. see. you in it be fore .you go," Madam Jackson said. As the dress was being. fastened,, a faint color stole into the .woman's white cheeks. "Isn't it pretty.?" she whispered, wonderingly. "The .very prettiest thing I .ever liad! It seems wrong for me f to Jia.ve it now. .Somebody young uud beautiful ought .to wear It. .If. only. I could have bad It years. ago!" Ma,dam Jackson's deft fingers were busy with .the browji hair, touched . with silver, .combed so severely back. "You must not -w.ear.your hair quite so plain," she said. 'IA. looser effect softens .the face .wonderfully. .Tiere, that Js .better." She straightened the Jace at the throat and settled the kirt. "Walt a moment" she auded,. stepping Into, the next room. When she returned , she held a dainty laee-triuujied .handker chief, .fine .us .a .spider's ,web. She tucked it into the .rough little .hand. "A present .from me," she said,. lightly. "When you wear .the dress.jou .must carry that." Over the tbln face .there swept ..a beautiful flush. ' "la that for .me?" she. aald, in axuawe strnck voice. iOh, .tbaak you, thank you.1" There was so Jtuuch radiance In .the look that Madam Jackson was startled, and then a wonderful thing happened. For the moment it seemed .as .If ,the years had. rolled back, .and .the worn face shone with its Jost .beauty. and. lie lost youth. ' I. The eyes snare vvery bright, a tender smile hoversd oyer .the .tremulous mouth, and Madam Jackson saw what the woman must have .been long ago, before the hard .years bad robbed her of her bloom. , "I wish John ould see .me," .the lit tle woman whispered. As If in answer to her wish, there came a knock a.t the door. Madam Jackson opened U quickly. "Come In, won't .you?" ahe said, pleasantly. "Your wile is anxious Jto have you see her in her new dress." . The man entered. When the blue gowned, radiant vision faced him, he started. "Why, Lottie," be said, "why, my dear. Is It really you?" "Do you like it John?" she said. "Like it! Why, you look Just as .you did when we were married, only, some how, sweeter and dearer," and than, regardless of Madam Jackson in tbe background, he took tbe small woman in bis arms and kissed her on her glow- ling cheeks. . ' . A. few minutes later Madam Jackson stood. at the window and watched them drlsvo.away, with the blue dress care fully wrapped up. The flush still lin gered ;on the little woman's face as she n-.a,v.ed.a last good-by. Madam Jackson waved back. She knew (that .before long tbe flush would fade from iher friend's cheek, the lines would .come iback, the cares return. The burdetas omust be taken up again. There would icome, too, the weary hours and tbe ilquely ones that must be lived througb. T.be blue dress would be folded away .as something sacred, seldom worn, buit never forgotten. There would he something beautiful at least to look at in tbe bare old farm house. As tbe rattling wagon disappeared Madam Jackson turned away from the window with a smile that was balf a sigh. "That blue dress it was a success, after all," she murmured. Youth's Companion. Japanese Customs. A writer, describing scenes oa Japa nese railways, says when a native lady eaters the carriage she slips ber feet from ber tiny shoes, stands upon the seat, and then sits demurely with ber feet doubled beneath her.. A mo ment later she lights a cigarette, or her little pipe, which hold Just tobac co enough to produce two good whiffs of smoke. AO Japanese people sit with their feet upon the seat of the car, and not as Europeans do. When the ticket coUector attired in a blue uni formenters the carriage he removes his cap, and twlca bows politely. He repeats tbe bow as be comes to each passenger to collect tbe tickets from them. Tbe man who Jumps from a rapidly moving train usually travels on his cheek. Cc5 UXDAY 'In Mexico Is the day of enjoyment if not of rest. All the stores are open until 1 p. m., and trade Is even greater than on week - days, for it is the great shopping day of the lower classes. The streets ane filled with people, rich and poor, old and young, well- dressed and In rags. Here Is a ranchero magnificent in his gold embrold- ered hat and tight-fitting "Charro" suit walking side by side with the "poor peon whose raiment consists of a cotton shirt, blue Jeans and "guaraches," or sandals, with a red "serape" or blanket thrown over his shoulders. Here the lady of fashion in silks and satins elbows her less fortunate sister In cotton waist and skirt barefooted, but always with the Inevitable ' "rebozo" or scarf over her head. All morning bauds, have been playing through the streets advertising "La gran Corrida de Toros." or bull fight, which will take place In the "I'lazn de Toros," at IluK) p. m. The three Hevertes, greatest of bull fighters, are uamed .as the "matadores." Are they not well worth seeing? . Ask any cltlssen of the Republic of .Mexico. We purchase tickets at .$5 a head and pass iln. The bull ring Is ar- . ranged as were the amphitheaters of olden times; in the center the ring, :then a barrier, inside of which and running around the ring is a passage about 3 feet 6 Inches wide, with little gates at Intervals, so that In cose the bull jumps the barrier he may again reach the ring; then another fence, and tier upon tier of seats, .and finally, at the top, the boxes holding ten .persons, with the judges box In the center. The bugle blows, and the gate of the bull ipen Is thrown open. The ' bull appears lu the middle of the ring, his back ornamented and his rage increased by a dart -which has been placed In his shoulders as he passed the gate. Swiftly he makes a tour, of the ring, driving all except the "plcadores" over the fence. Soon one seemingly more venturesome than the rest runs forward and flaunts his red Vapa" in the bull' face, and is immediately chased over the barriers. " Most of this Is done- for effect. The "matador" then takes .a hand In the game and stands In front of the bull, allowing him to. charge the "capa," and nimbly stepping out of , the way when he does so. v The "plcadores jmr .their ponies forward, and apparently for the first 'time the bull notices them. He .churges fiercely; the "picador" is unable to repel the attack with 'his long pike, and In an instant the "plcacWr" and ; horse are 4own, the former underneath, and the horse dying from a wound in the heart from which the blood spurts, or rather gushes. Another "pica dor" rides forward and is upset. His horse picks himself up, and runs i madly' across the ring into the fenue on the other side nnd drops. He lis soon removed. Another "picador" :has bis horse badly gushed on the shoulder, and then the -"plcadores" leave the ring. The bull has charged .them three times, and their duty :ls performed. :Then come the "banderilleros," aimed with sticks two feet long, In the end of which Is a barb pointed like a fish hook. The first stands facing the bull and waves his arms and -stamps his foot dramatically to bid defiance. The bull looks surprised. The ibanderillo runs forward, and as ..the bull (Charges this new cenemy places -hla "banderlllaa" in the bull's shoulders.. at, the base of the neck, one on each ide of the spinal column, . and, skipping nimbly out of She way, .runs for the barrier with the paln , maddeued bull after hhu. The second "banderllto" Introduces ;a novelty. He places a pocket handkerchief, on the ground, stands upou It,. and as the bull charges, places his "banderl'laa" and sways his 'body out of .the road Just Jn time to escape tbe horns. , Three pairs of -"IbanderUlas" must be placed, and then i the. bugle sounds once more. . . : The '.'matador" takes the "espada" .(sword) and the 'muleta," or scarlet .Cloth, said after asking and recehrbng the permission of the Judge .o kill, .advance to the bull, .' , , 4 The first "matador" is Revert Eapanol. He waves the scarlet "muleta" before the bull, who blindly charges to find nothing but as he turns, there again :is tbe tantalizing piece of red before him. After several charges of this kind, be stops, puzzled and somewhat tired, and watches' the "muleta" , closely. Now is iReverte's time. He turns sideways, tbe sword poised on a level with tfjhe shoulder, glances along it to make sure of his aim and runalng;at thelbull, who also charges, lie sends Jit home through the bull's heart. . , , , Tbe bull sinks to his knees, and a small dagger Is plunged Into the spinal .column Itehlnd tile horns. The King Is dead. , v The band play ,the "Victorious Torero," the people shout, and the body ,of the bull Is hauled ja-way to be put up and sold to the poor people. Then ;the victorious "torero" makes a circuit of the ring and receives the plaudits f the .people. Has are thrown down Into the ring, and happy is he whose hat is thrown back by the hand of the matador. Money' and cigars also fall thickly, all picked up by the attendant members of the "cuadrllla." TRY ROPE SKIPPING. jSovel Cemedy for Ulany of tbe Ilia that Annoy Women. Times have changed since then, and even .the skipping rope has under gone progress. The rope has been pro moted, until now it is brought out at aJl seasons of the year, and Is used by old and young alike. Its mission now is the restoration of the skin, the making of a pair of dJuip'es, the strengthening of the heart And the re newal of youthful charm. From this list It will be seen that tbe skipping rope Is relied upon as a modern miracle worker. And the woman who tries It will agree that It Js such to the last loch. To manipulate the skipping rope properly a rope should be obtained of the kind which Is fitted with handles. Thus one can have a support for the fingers to keep the rope from cutting into tbe band. Then, too, the handles enable one to shorten the rope and to make highest skips at will. The second requisite Is that tbe air In which the skipping la performed shall be fresh. Women go out Into tbe air more than they once did, and when It comes to exercising they exercise directly In the open. Who does not remember tbe first gymnasiums, stuffy things, under ground usuaUy. Fully heated, almost unventllated, breathing of tbe heaviness of stone, they have, opened to the pupil, who waa expected to come In and get health and strength by exercising In the dark place.. . , The gymnasiums now are luxuri ously fitted out But, if bereft of lux ury, they are at least weU aired. In one bouse, where there la a room call ed by courtesy the, gymnasium, the sole apparatus consists of dumb-bells, a bow and arrow, a tin horn, a skip ping rope, a wand and a pair of flat Irons. But there are many little low win dows, for tbe gymnasium la an attic floor, and one Bide of the room has a wide, low mirror. In this place the women of the family go beauty hunt ing every day, says the Indianapolis News. And the first move on enter ing the gymnasium Is to open all the windows. What He Was Paid For. A new application of the rule of pro portion between wag and labor Is the motive of a little story from the Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. The leader of the band stonned In the middle of the bar and frowned. "ray, rumpernlckel," he demanded. In a loud whisper, "what do vnn nunn by playing a lot of ha if -notes where mere snouia be whole notes?" Pumpernickel took the horn off his neok. "Veil." said he. "I make m.n.. Hops by you. You reftember dot you cud down my vages to haiinf hm - " MWU A you?" . The leader stared In amazement had done so, but ' "Und so I continues to iu nodes mid dla horn, but dey vlli pe halluf nodes until der vairea vn storeded unto whole vagea. Aln'd It, Plenty on Hand. "You would get alone a Trail f Ian I better if you didn't get so excited,'' said the calm man to bis Irascible friend. "Can't you learn to keep your temper?" "Keep my temper! Wn t nv that!" retorted the other. "I'd have you understand that I keep more tem per In one day than vou hsv in possession during a whole year!" The point in securing an ivnroii. seems to be the same as In getting a new dress; very ImDortant that i, should come from a larger town. Wben a girl is IT and a Diincean. hr father begins to think that Klip Ih nearer his age for social pleasures than ber mother. ELECTRIC DEATH FOR RATS. Effect Its Protection for Small Birds In a City Zoo. Superintendent Stephen, of tbe Cin cinnati Zoo, la tblnklug of getting out a patent He has not decided exactly what to call the machine be has re cently perfected, but lu all probability It will be named "Stephnn's electric rat exterminator." The invention was born of that necessity which has moth ered so many other labor-saving de vices and has proved Invaluable to the Zoo. Not long ago a number of rats and stray cats discovered that the Zoo was a splendid place for foraging, and that game birds, such, as pheasants and quail, were numerous In the big lu closure. All that was necessary to se cure a good meal, free of charge, was to Jump tbe fence and pick out the one which pleused the fancy of the marauder. Superintendent Stephan was the first to discover why so many Oi these valuable birds were missing every now and then, and It did not take him long to also find a remedy for the trouble. While the Zoo manage ment Is willing to replace Its animals and fowls that fall victims to ordinary diseases or accidents, It has no desire to furnish food for all the rodents and felines lu Avondule, and Mr. Stephan Immediately set about putting an end to the free lunches. One evening, after he had retired to rest, a suspicious noise In the locality ot the pheasant Inclosure caused him to dress hastily and repair to the spot. As he approached he noted a large aud rusty-looking rat taking French leave over the fence, with a handsome pheasant In Its mouth. Mr. Stephan said things that would not look well in print, and sat up the rest of that night, waiting to slay any other rats that might appear on a like errand, but without result. The next day Mr. Stephan did Bouie deep thinking, with satisfactory re sults. A wire was stretched along the top of the fence and connected with a live electric light wire. When the gar den was closed for the night the cur rent was turned on and the superin tendent went to bed convinced that there would be lively times for any an imal that tried to cross the trocha he had prepared for the enemy. Nor was he wrong. At daybreak several large and well fed rodents were discovered as dead us the proverblul door nail on the outside of the fence, where they had fallen after coming In contact with the charged wire. The next night Mr. Stephan was awakened by a Wall of pain and surprise that made the air vibrate. At first he thought the ani mals were holding a political meeting in the carnlvora, but another howl put nun at ease. It was merely the death wall of a cat which had tempted fate tioe too often and fallen a victim to its own expensive appetite. Sluce then, says the Cincinnati Com mercial .Tribune, a dally harvest of rata and eats Is reported by the attend ants at tbe Zoo. Tbey are found lying across the wire or on the ground, but the pheasants are safe and can sleep with both eyes shut now, .where be fore they had to keep one eye open If they hoped to be alive -the next day. ABOUT THE GENERAL STAFF. Wlfey Oct Valuable Information on a ' New Order of Things. "George, what Is this I've been read ing about the control of the army be ing placed In tbe hands of a general staff. What Is a geueral staff, George?" "A general staff, my dear, Is a bunch of gold lace and brass buttons that poses around a library table nnd pulls the wires that keep the soldiers mov ing." .., "Thank you, George. You are always so lucid. I suppose the general staff runs the array lustead of bothering the generals In the field to do It?" "That's about right, my dear. They stay there in Washington and keep in touch with the best restaurants and the paymaster and the social gather ings, and relieve the fighting generals of all the responsibility," "How nice that Is! And it's some thing new, too, Isn't It? 1 don't remem ber reading that Alexander wa ever helped in that way, or Hannibal, or Julius Caesar, or Napoleon. But, of course, they were so dreadfully old fashioned and so rash. Just think how much slower the world's fighting would have been If the general staff had been consulted every time Napoleon wanted to make a move. There wasn't any tel egraph then, you know, and so the gen eral would have bad to send a courier to Paris to ask If the staff would ap prove of bis advancing to tbe right center, or withdrawing the left wing, or making a concerted night attack all along the line. How different things would have turned out, dear." "You are quite right, my love. The general staff would have cut short a good many of Nap's pet surprises, and I rather think history would have to be rewritten." "Yes, dear. And just think how funny It would be If one of our com manding generals, Just as be was go ing into battle, should suddenly dis cover that the telegraph wires were out of order and the wireless machines in tbe repair shop. How would he know whether to advance or retreat until he beard from home?" "That would be very funny, my love; very funny." "Thank you, George. It seems funny to me. But I guess it seems funnier to us than It would to the commanding officer." "I've no doubt you are quite right, my dear." Cleveland Plain Dealer. There's probably nothing on earth that can get so badly stuck on Itself aa a sheet of postage stamps. A Great Hand: Mike (teaching rat poker) Well, what hov yea got? Pat Four trowels and a black shamrocKX' Pick. She Doctor, is Squeedunk a gooV place to go for rheumatism? Doctor Sure. That's where I got nilue. De troit Free Press. The Doctor Are you sure yon never burled any one alive? The Under taker Well, none of your patients,, at least. Chicago Dally News. Frightful: "Pat has got an awful gash In bis face." "Does it seem to hurt him much?" "No. He uses it tc eat with." New York Sun. "When Mr. Casey died he left alii he had to the orphan asylum." "In- deed! That was nice of him. What did he leave?" "Ills twelve children-"" Chicago Evening Post. A 'Sunny South Item: "Where mr thunder are you going with that stove- and all those overcoats?" "1 am golug, roy friend, to spend the winter In Florida." Atlanta Constitution. Phrapper (after his tenth, miss) Oh; hang the birds! Keeper Sorry, . sir, -but we ain't got uo string; but if you i likes to let me have the gun I'll shoot -'em for you. Glasgow Evening Times.-- Quickest Way: Mr. Kidder People say that It Is impossible to find a nee dle in a haystack but they're wrong-. Mrs. Kidder How would you go about it? Mr. Kidder Walk across the stack: in my stocking feet. rDenveu- Repub lican. Dr. Smarty Had a very delicate surgical operation at my place yeter dny. Removed an arm from a lady' waist. Dr. Synnex If It was your urni the operation could not have been very painful to the lady.r Boston . Transcript. "And now," said the teacher, at the " end of a long description of the brain, . wiiure js uie seut ui memory t a .uis any of you tell me?" "Yessuui," re-- 1 1 ...1 T .. U .. ., T...I .-1. . . ,!.. 1. . tr tie finger, where you tie a string around 1 it to make you recolect" Cincinnati.. Commercial Tribune. Restful Rawlins Dat new hobo bezr Jess completed his first "century" ride on de trucks in a freight train! Narrow-Gauge Kevins Did It please him iminll? niiutful Hawllno XT . a KIt ....... . v .... u . .... n l.l.o .U. u uhi He said de dust an' 1olts reminded lilnm I , ll .In I. ...1. .... . A ... . . H 1 . . 1. n .. ' ....... ed an "auto!" Puck. Shopkeeper (whose patience Is couv- pletely exhausted) Snippers.- coll the porter to kick this fellow out. Impor- -tunate Commercial Traveler (undaumV -ed) Now. while we're waiting for 'tbe" porter, I'll show you nn eutlrely new " line best thing you ever laid eyes ou..- Glasgow Evening , Times. , "Are you sure the course- is cfeafV'"' she whispered, sliding down to the arms of her lover. "Yes," he respond ed; "I succeeded In boring a' bole Ira the wnterpipe. Your father Baa di- cuveruu ii, auu win aej"p nis anger over the bole until the ' plumber 1 axcLves. Come!" Philadelphia Bulletin. Somewhat Broken: "Was Mrs. Mur phy pleased when she heard ber bus band's voice on the phonograph?" "Very much so." "But the record was scratched and his speech Bounded in colierentlv." "Yes. she snld It sound ed Just like him talking when he came home from the club." ClIeu:g Jfewsv.. The Self-Effacing Act: Myer la old -en time It Is said that It was possible--for a man to render himself Invisible... Gyvr Pshaw! that's not at all remark- -able. Men In this country are doing- -It every day. Myer You don't Ml met'. '. How do they manage It? Gyer Byr marrylng famous women. Chicago News. Mr. Mulhooly Phwat fur are yera -. makln' such a noise on that plniinyT Y'r drlvln me distracted wld y'r nick- et, an' me bead a chin' lolk It wutt split'. In two paces! Daughter Them new -neighbors nlxt door bus been complain -In of my piayln. Mr. Mulhooly Be gorra, hammer harder. New Yorlc Weekly. Not So Bad: Mrs. Henpeck I read": this morning about a man who waa -arrested twenty minutes after bis wed ding and sent to prison for fifteen . years. Isn't that awful? Mr. Hen peck Oh, I don't know. The luw, doesn't compel him to take his wife-' to prison with him, does it?1 BultL more World. ' , The Different Stages: "One smller makes a flirtation. One fllrtutlou- makes two acquainted. Two acquaint- ed makes one kiss. One kiss make several more. Several kisses mako am engagement; One engagement nxtker two fools. Two fools make one mar riage. One marriage makes a mother-in-law; One mother-in-law makes n. red-hot time." Ex. ' Taken at Her Word: "Now," said" Mrs. Biggleson's cousin at breakfast on the morning after her arrival, "don't make company of me. I want to be treated Just as if I were one of the family." "All right" replied Mr. Biggleson, helping himself to the ten der part of the steak, "we'll try to make you feel right at home." -Chicago Record-Herald. "My dear sir," wrote tho editor to the persistent young author, "in order to simplify matters somewhat, we aro inclosing a bunch of our 'declined wltlr thanks' notices. If you will put one of these in an envelope with your man uscript, and mail It to yourself, it will make It easier for all of us, and vou will be saving something lu postage as well." Chicago Evening Post.