OREGON CITY COURIER, jFRIDAV JULY 23, 1912.
OREGON CITY COURIER
A "BACK TO THE LAND " TAX
Published Fridays from the Courier Building, Eighth and Main streets, and ea
tered in the Postoffice at Oregon City, Ore., as second class mail matter.
OREGON CITY COURIER PUBLISHING COMPANY, PUBLISHER
M. J. BROWN, A. E. FROST, OWNERS.
Subscription Price $1.50.
Telephones, Main 5-1 ; Home A 3-
M. J. BROWN,
EDITOR
FOOLS
Public opinion in the major
ity of cases renders a pretty sat
isfactory verdict, and public opin
ion says the sentencing of John
Mitchell to nine months in pris.
on' for contempt of Court was not
justice.
And what fools courts are to
try to settle labor differences
through such means.
The minute Mitchell goes to
jail he becomes a martyr in the
eyes of labor, and the sentence
will do more in the nine months
to strengthen union labor than
John Mitchell could in nine years
Can't the boneheads see what
opposition to the Appeal to Reas
on did? It was an attempt to pun
ish a paper because they could not
stop its exposing a rotten condit
ion in the government's prison at
Leavenworth, and the result waas
that it has built up a paper so big
that even President Taft fears it.
And so with Mitchell. The pub
lie knows him for a man, a big
man and a man close to the little
man, and every day he ever serves
in jail will make a hundred con
verts to union labor.
SAFETY.
It now develops that the mana
gers of the transcontinental rail
ways are the real objectors to the
free transportation of American
ships through the Panama canal.
The directors of the ocean-to-ocean
lines of American railways,
fearing a lessening of profits on
their investments, induced the of
ficers of the Canadian Pacific
railroad to protest to the British
cabinet against the no-toll policy
of the United States, claiming that
it was a violation of the Hay-Sau-naforte
treaty, which guarantees
equal rights to both nations on
the Isthmus of Panama.
The British government had
apparently taken no notice of the
matter, until their attention was
called to it by the railroad auth
orities. Senator Root and other
trust senators have declared that
the position of the British gov
ernment is sound, and that if the
matter was submitted to the
Hague tribunal the U. S. would
lose out.
To the ordinary reader it looks
as if the British people were enti
tled to the free use of the CQnal,
they should have contributed to
its construction. Happily, how
ever, thero is a plank in tho Doin
ocratic platform favoring the free
use of the canal to American
shippers, and as the platform will
be overwhelmingly endorsed at
the coming election, the policy of
no tolls, on American boats will be
tho settled policy of the country
for many years to come, for con
gross is not likely to reverse the
will of the people in these days.
UP FOR A VERDICT.
The supreme court has render
ed its decision in the matter of the
appropriation for the Univer
sity of Oregon and the voters
will pass on it at the coming
election, it will go on the ballot.
Regardless of all the technical
points as to whether or not the
tho referendum petition was in
due and legal form, this is a mat
tor the voters of tho stale should
have a free vote on.
In the face of the taxation bur
den in tho state today, no legis
lature should give away $500,000
without asking the consent of
those who will have to raise the
money.
The hard, fight to prevent this
matter going on tho ballot, ami
giving tho people an expression
on it, will probably kill tho appro
piation. Had the proposition. been
willingly submitted and the mon
ey thut has been spent in trying
to keep it off the ballot boon put
into a campaign asking the people
of the state to ratify it, there
would then have been a good show
lo have curried it in November.
Tell a man ho shall not vote on
a proposition that puts addition
al taxes on his property, and then
if ho finds a way to voto you can
bet and win that ho will throw the
harpon into those who tried lo
throw it. into him.
QUALIFYING CRIME.
Is it worse to steal a na
' tional convention than an
eloctorial college? Oregon-ian.
Well, it entirely depends on the
outcome.
If the fellow gets away with the
electorial college, it is not. If he
falls down, it is.
But what do you think about a
great Taft Republican paper try
ing to qualify guilt asking you
lo decide among thieves.
The mills are grinding that old
republican party exceedingly fine
WAIT.
Is Ben Selling for Taft or
for Roosevelt? Is he a Repub
lican or Himocrat? The vot
ers will want to know on
which side of the fence he
stands. Selling is a candi
date for U. S. senator.
McMinnville News -Reporter.
Shi Hasn't the Republican par
ty troubles enough this year?
Can't you let him alone until he
sees which is the strongest side?
Wait until after the Roosevelt
convention, and' then Mr. Selling
will come out and tell you all
about it.
THE BLIQHT.
Here s some handwriting on
the blackboard the sign lang
uage the people put there. It has
all been written since March 1,
1911, and is shows the line up of
the senators who have been pull
ed out of the U. S. senate for up
holding bribery m the Lorimer
affair:
Bulkely of Connecticut, Bur
rows of Michigan, Carter of Mon
tana, Depew of New York, Dick of
Ohio, Kean of New Jersey, Piles ol
Washington, Scott of West Vir
ginia, Foster of Louisiana Payn-
ter of Kentucky, Cullom of Illinois
Gamble of North Dakota.
Putting Lorimer over came
high.
"ARGUMENT."
There is one point that the
voters can't get around. That
is if this proposed taxation is
so very bad that it will ruin
tho country and take the
stars off the flag, why the an- '.
lis don't urge a trial of it in
the three counties that its re
sults may be an object lesson
to this great country?
That's a hard one to get by
on, isn't it? Oregon City
Courier.
Great scheme I We never
thought of it before. Let's
be the horrible example. Let's
try it on the dog and be the
dog. Oregonian. '
If this is getting by It was a
mighty tight squeeze. y
Ridicule isn't reason. The men
behind tho proposed graduated
income single tax declare that
it will greatly reduce the taxation
burden of Oregon. So positive
are they of this that they tell the
people to try out tho reform in
one or more counties, and see if
it does not do all they claim for it,
and as a guarantee of their sin
cerity the same proposition that
would try the reform gives the
voters tho right by' initiative to
repeal it at any regular pr special
election.
The Oregonian will have to try
it again. It hardly got by.
Every day but adds to the Re
publican mix-up, and the voters
are becoming so disgusted that
there won't be any Republicans
left by November if this muss
continues. And in conlraast rises
the Democratic nominee, Wilson,
the ablest, most progressive nom
inee the Democratic arty ever had.
Ilo is honest, courageous, self re
liant, brainy. Tho Democrats
hold four acos this year all they
have lo do is to play them.
The freer trade is the better it
is lor all parlies to it Portland
ournal.
TRAVELERS APPRECIATE
the use of our American Bankers Association
Checks. There Is no waiting for funds, as they
are available everywhere and .are promptly
cashed by banks, railroad and steamship com
panies, hotels and commercial houses.. Before
going on your next trip, purchase some of these
"Amerloan Bankers Association Checks." The
cost Is small, and they are much safor than
carrying the money with you.
The Bank o f Oregon City
Oldest Bank in The County
Portland Journal.
"Back to the land" is the text
for many sermons, but few of the
preachers mention the relation
between taxes and getting back
to the land, but it may be prac
ticable and desirable to arrange
the system of taxation so as to
make it easier for men to get back
to the land.
Advocates of the graded single
tax and exemption amendment
say it is a "back to the land"
measure. Any system of taxation
that exempts personal property
and improvements on farms and
at the same time lowers the tax
rate offers an inducement for
men to "get back to the land."
The tax rate will be lowered by
any measure that exempts farm
improvements and personal prop
erty from taxation, and at the
same time raises by a grdauated
tax more than the amount paid
by farmers on their personal
property and improvements be
fore it collects a cent from farm
ers.
Any measure that lifts a bur
den of taxes from the fanners
will make the farming business
better. The present system of
taxation puts a heavy burden on
the farmer's business. It makes
the farmer pay more than his just
share of the cost of government
The census returns show that
in the last ten years tne new
population of Oregon has gone
mostly to the cities. In 1900 67
per cent of the Qregon popula
tion was in the country; in 191
only 54 per cent was in the coun
try. Something is preventing the
people from getting "baok to th
land."
Tillamook county, for instance,
has plenty of good land to get
back to. In 1910 it had 15,085
acres in cultivation and 579,583
uncultivated acres. Twenty own
ers held 306,486 uncultivated
acres assessed at $7,242,350
Those twenty owners held 51 per
cent of the total acreage of the
county, and 59 per cent of the as
sess,ed value of all the acres
the county.
All or that land value was
'raw land" value. None of it was
a labor product. All it was cret
aled by an industrial population
None of it was due to the labor of
the owners. The average num
ber of uncultivted acres held by
the twenty owners was 15,324 and
the average raw land value to the
twenty owners was $341,411
On the 1910 assessed valuation
of their uncultivated acres those
twenty owners would have paid
under the proposed graduated tax
measure, $182,223 in graduated
taxes. In addition to the gradu
ated taxes on these twenty own
rs or large amounts of land and
arge values created by the people,
forty-eight other owners would
have paid $4,518.25 in graduated
taxes, and the corporation
graduated tax would hav
amounted to $561.75, making
total of $188,223 in the graduated
taxes in the county.
That would have cut the coun
ty tax levy from $230,066.71 to
to $41,933.71. Would not such
result be an inducement for men
to "go back to the land?" Would
not it make the farming business
more profitable and the land spec
latlon business less prolllable?
Wouldn't it lower the tax rate and
ift the tax burden from the farm
er, the small home owner and the
worker?
ness, else he would have stepped
aside and permitted the nomina
tion of Hadley, Cummins or La-
Follette, as he might have done
Personally we would rather vote
for LaFollette than any other man
for the presidency this year. Just
now it seems to us that Woodrow
Wilson comes pretty near rep
esonting what Larollette stands
for, and unless something unex
pected happens between now and
November, we shall probably vote
for him.
Larimer but, Hanford out, Af.
chibald going. Who's next.
Wanted, a Taft Republican with
sand enough to declare himself.
Wall Street is betting 2. tol
that Wilson will be our next president.
Roosevelt is due for something
August 5th, then perhaps the boys
will find their sand
Every day the old Republican
party breaks in a new place and
there wont be much left of it by
voting time.
TWO LETTERS.
Now don't you wish you had had
a hunch and got in on the West
Side property while the getting
was good? And to think it has
been waiting for you since Mc
Lbughlin's Time.
LaFollette is not for Roosevelt
he isn't for Taft. Then who is
he for? Here's betting that he
comes out squarely for Wilson
he can't do much else, if he
sincere, and we all know he is.
in
CREDIT FOR FARMERS.
There is a little declaration in
the Democratic platform that but
few really understand, or rather
but few take the pains to under
stand they simply road it and
pass on. It Is that paragraph
that declares rural credits or ag
ricultural finance of equal im
purtance to the question of cur
rency reform,"
Now what that means is the
investigation of the European
system of agricultural associa
tions through which the farmer
can borrow money at low rates of
interest, and it is one of the best
investigations ever undertaken.
In many of the European coun
tries they have these farmers'
credit associations, where a farm
er in need of money can mortgage
his'property direct to the assocla
tion at a low rate of interest and
on favorable and easy terms.
In oxir country the farmer has
to borrow where ho can get it and
his field is contracted. Only
those who live in his immediate
community will loan to him, for
only those know whether he is
responsible or not. Therefore the
farmer borrows under unfavora
ble conditions, and is in a meas
ure at the mercy of the lender. He
has to pay what Is asked and sub.
mit to the terms imposed.
With an association that makes
a business of rating every farmer
and loaning direct to him, the
farmer would be in a much more
independent position.
The proposed graduated land
value tax is drawn in favor of the
"little fellow" the average man
and in some degrees is a check
upon great accumulations, either
by individuals or corporations.
Portland Journal. v
If they let that Archibald im
peachment trial go over until aaf
ter election, it will simply pound
a few more nails in the Republ
can coffin.
Both Oregon' senators "showed
a clean hand on the Lorimer vote
Sixteen of the senators who took
a stand with the expelled senator
three years ago have been pulled
down from the senate, and th
final vote leaves yet a big string
that public sentiment will kill off
It is hardly possible that Pres
ident Taft will withhold appoint
ments on the recommendation o
Congresman Laferty, because h
has announced for Roosevelt
Such action, like the sentencing
of John Mitchell to prison, would
only bound back and hurt.
I was a little amused to read in
the Portland papers of how Lew
is Mitchell was arrested and
brought before the grand jury on
a charge of practicing phrenology
without authority. Mitchell pro
duced a city license, at which the
grand jury released him and told
him to get out of town. Some au
thority in that, believe me.
Selling is the real republican
nominee for senator but he can
never be elected if he stands with
the regular republican party
and he knows it. But if he comes
out for Rosevelt he repudiates the
Portland organization that brou
ght him out and defeated Bourne
and they will knife him. And
if he continues silent and refuses
to take" a stand, then the people
will tlx him. Selling is indeed be.
tween the devil and two deep seas
Here's betting that Judge
Hanford wishes that he had
let that Swedes citizenship
alone. Oregon City Courier.
Come to think of it, too,
don't you imagine Taft wish
es they had admitted the oth
er set of Washington dele
gates at Baltimore? Wood
burn Independent.
Taft and his backers expected
the other set would run things
at Baltimore, otherwise they
wouiu nave never nominated he
and bunny Jim. It was one of
those "deep-laid schemes" that
went wrong, and now the Repub
Mean party has got to face pay
ment on it.
COME ON.
That Tuesday night's Commer
cial Club Meeting was a welcome
instead of a kick, was the right
and proper spirit.
Ihe Club could no more change
the already arranged plans of the
Southern Pacific than they could
make the Willamette river run up
over the falls.
The West Side is simply going
to be a city. The big plans under
way are going to make it one, but
NOT a new city Just a bigger Ore
gon City. And that's the way to
look at it and the only way.
There are going to be new fac
tories built up over there, hew
ailroads, new houses, and every
one of these new things will bring
new people here not take them
away from this side.
The building up of the west side
will do busines wonders for Ore
gon City and will add hundreds of
people to Oregon City.
We want to welcome this, en
courage it, reach, out the glad
hand and show the smile. This
historic old city has waited long
but things are coming in bunches
now.
HANFORD DOWN AND OUT
Judge Hanford disfranchised a
Swede because he was a socialist,
and he knew little of the frame of
mind the people were in or he
would have never done it.
No sooner had the press dis
patches given the people his act
hen the people went to him.
A government investigation fol
lowed whioh brought out a con
dition of olllcial rottenness that
makes men almost question
hether there is any honesty in
judges a condition that has a
gain lowered what little respect
people yet have for the courts,
and increased the clamor for the
recall.
And in the midst of the rotten
ness being brought to light, Judge
Hanford resigned, resigned under
lire and to the American people
admitted his guilt.
And now we stop and think but
for the incident of the Swede this
long list of illegal, transactions
ould not have come to light, and
Hanford would have still been the
unlit passing as the fit. And now
know that because he is a
ther try at that municipal eleva-
out. If he was you or I he would
be punished for his work.
In Marion county the taxDavers
league went on record against the
People's Power Leagues proposi
tion ror a change in the state
government, and one of the
stands taken was that they could
not see the state economy in the
proposed bill. The following let
ters from Governor West to W.
is. U Hen, and Irom Mr. U Ren will
be interesting. They are taken
from tho Portland Daily News:
Oregon City, July 23.
Editor Portland News:
The Marion County Taxpayers'
league nies a number of objec
Hons to the People's Power
League s League's proposed am
endment of Article IV of the con
stitution, which is number 362 on
the official ballot. In this letter I
shall deal with only one of these
oDjections.
rneysay in their argument
mere is no assurance this amend
ment will decrease the burden of
taxation. The amendment as
proposed makes the governor's
office responsible for the maxi
mum amount of all appropriation
mils, n is proposed that tho gov
ernor shall be a member of the
legislature, that the senate be ab-
onsnea ana mat the governor
shall introduce all bill s appro
priating public money. The leg
islature will not have power to in
crease the amount of any such
bill without the governor-'s con
sent entered on the Journal. But
the legislature may reduce the
amount proposed by any or all of
the governor s appropriation bills
Before this amendment , was
filed with the secretary of state a
copy was sent to Governor West
with all the new provisions mark
ed. His attention was especially
called to the provision making his
office responsible for the maxi
mum amount of all appropriation
bills, and he was asked to state
what he thought the result would
be. In reply he wrote the follow
ing letter:
Salem, Ore.. June 26.
Hon. W. S. U'Ren:
I am in receipt of yours of rec
ent date in which you ask what
reductions, if any,. could be had in
the appropriations for 1913 and
1914, over those of 1911 and 1912.
if this office was'glven control of
all appropriation bills.
In reply will say that the am
ount required for the expenses of
the state government for 19H and
1912 was in round numbers $5
670,000. If this office had contro
of the appropriation bills I beliov
the 1913 and 1914 appropriations
could easily be kept down to $4,
000,000, without crippling in any
manner our state institutions or
denying them anything to which
they are justly entitled in the wav
or mamtence or improvements.
Yours very truly,
OSWALD WEST.
Governor West knew when he
wrote this letter that if the peo
pie approved of the proposed
amendments, he would have to
make good for the appropriations
for the years 1913 and 1914.Whon
he stated that he believed he could
save nearly $1,670,000, I believe
he knew what he was talking
about. The president of the Mar
ion County Taxpayers' league may
not consider Governor West s let
ter as any assurance that the ad
option of the amendment would
result in a decrease in the bur
den of taxation. But I believe a
very large majority of the taxpay,
ers will count Governer West's
statement to be very good reason
for believing that this amendment
would cause a very material re
duction in state taxes. Express
Ing my personal opinion, I believe
this amendment is adopted it
will result in the saving of at least
a million dollars a year on the ap
proprations for 1913 and 1914, as
compared with the appropriation
s for 1911 and .1912.
Sincerely yours,
W. S. U'REN.
Always Ready
From the moment a Studebaker
' (Flanders) "20" is delivered, you have a
car ready to go on the job. It "will stand
up to its work day in and day out take
the hills and rough places as cheerfully ,as
the smooth, and the only care it asks is
lubrication.
Etudebaker cars are built for honest
everyday service, end will give you service
not excuses. You can start on the
longest journey in full confidence that you
will finish as strong as you began. 1
Mechanical stability, beauty of design,
simplicity of control, low price and low
upkeep cost combine to make the Stude
baker "20" an ideal car.
Tho $800 Studebaker (Fiander.)"20"
Price, Standard Equipped, $800 f . o. b. Detroit.
Equipped as above, with Top, Windshield, Prert-O-Llte Tank
and Speedometer, $4do.
Amk our deafer for the new Studebaker art catalogue or mend to u or if
The Studebaker Corporation DetrojJ;, Michigan
PACIFIC HIGHWAY GARAGE, Agents
PHONE 390 OREGON CITY
The -
Scrap Book
bi
A meeting ,,of protest being
changed into one of boost, is a
ather novel stunt, but this one
switched over so easily that one
couldn t tell when it happened.
WANTS.
LOST, boys green serge coat
in or near Oregon City. Leave at
Courier oillce.
Wanted to rent, a small dairy
farm, near Oregon City preferred.
Address O. W. Kimball, Rt. 2, Or
egon City.
FOR SALE: 80 acres near Col
ton in Clackamas County fruit
belt; 5 acres improved; family
orchard in bearing and lots of
mall fruit; all fenced and cross-
fenced; barn and other buildings;
price, $25.00 per acre. Terms. Call
on Mr. Leeson near the place; or
address R. C. Hunter, Owner, Col
on, Oregon.
Wanted
1. A party with good security
to borrow $650.00.
2. Wanted, a parly with farm
property as security, to borrow
$1000.00.
Wanted, a party to purchase
a live room house in Gladstone,
near car line; price $900.00; $350
cash, balance in 18 months.
4 Wanted, a party to purchase
small house and four lots on Fifth
street, Oregon City; 1000, easy
terms.
Cross & Hammond,
Attorneys and Abstracters
Beaver Building, Oregon City.
C. Schuebel W. 8. U'Rn
U'REN o SCHUEBEL
Attorneys-at-Law
Will practice In all courts, make col
lections and settlements of estates,
furnish abstracts of title, lend you
mcney and lend your money on first
mortgagt. Offlce in Enterprise
Building, Oregon City.
Utilizing the MirYor.
A dentist was filling a lady patron's
back teetb. When be bad finished
with the first tooth he handed the lady
a hand mirror that she might see the
result for herself. Thtjn he went pu
with his task, repeating his perform
ance with the mirror after each tooth
was filled. Finally, when the Jeb was
completed and she had handed back
the mirror with thanks, he said:
"Well, madam, bow do they look to
you?"
"How do what look to me?" she re
turned.
"The teeth I just filled."
"Oh, I forgot about the teeth," she
exclaimed, reaching for the hand glass
"What did you look at each time I
gave you the mirror?"
"My hair."-Fittsburgh Press.
utiger at nis "ream'" ana repneu,
" 'Cause dis jere mule won't go 'les' 1
Whistle at h 1 m. and It's so cold I
cyaru't whistle!" Everybody's.
The Art of Living.
To touch the cup with eager lips and
taste,
Not drain It;
To woo and tempt and court a bliss and
Not attain It; '
To fondle and caress a joy, yet hold it
Lightly
Lest It become a necessity and cling too
Tightly;
To smother care with Joy and grief with
Laughter:
To hold the present close, not questioning
tne
Hereafter;
To see the sun sink In the west without
Regretting;
To hall his advent In the east, the night
Forgetting;
To have enough to spare to know the Joy
or giving;
To thrill response to every sweet of life
That's living.
Anonymous.
Rudely Jarred.
They looked like newly married
folks, but were not on their honey
moon, as the observer learned by de
duction. The woman laid down a
newspaper she had been reading and
said to her husband:
'Do you know, I wish 1 had one of
these affinities. Oh, I think It .would
be Just gr-a-n-d to sit on a rock with
somebody and have him rave about the
Incomparable golden color of my hair
and tell me that my eyes were the
most beautiful In the whole world.
and"-
"Uh, huhl" said the husband, yawn
ing.
"And that the delicate pink of my
cheeks had been painted there by the
angels and thut he couldn't live with
out me. O-oh, I think an affiuity like
that would be"
'Tlsn't an affinity you want," inter
rupted her husband. "What you seem
to want Is a plain, old fashioned liar."
Exchange.
Rough on the Bishop.
Bishop Blomfield discovered one day
as be entered the pulpit that be bad
forgotten the manuscript of bts ser
mon. . It was Impossible to do as the
Scottish minister did In similar cir
cumstances, send for the sermon from
his home while the congregation sang
Psalm 119. No, he must preach ex
tempore, and did so, taking for his
theme the existence of God. Very well
satisfied he felt with his effort As he
walked home he overtook one of his
congregation, whose opinion of the ser-
mon be Invited. "Well, it were a very
good sermon," was the reply, "but I
don't agree wl' It I believe there Is a
God."
, In a Quandary.
An old darky, with an old gray mule
bitched to a ramshackle wagon, stuod
on the incline of Capitol hill, in Wash
ington, during one of the worst sleet
storms in January.
The old man huddled In his rabbit skin
cap, shivering. The mule was trem
bling with the cold. Two congressmen
waiting for a belated car were at
tracted by the strange outfit and won
dered as time went on and the darky
made no effort to depart what ailed the
old fellow.
One of the congressmen walked over
and said, "Why don't you move on,
under
The. old djyky pointed a tremblln
Distributing the Honors.
During the Spanish-American war
the navy department by way of a
graceful compliment to the great unl
versifies renamed two converted cruis
ers Uavard and Yule. Not long after
Commodore Dewey was asked what
new names should be conferred upon
two little Spuuisb gunboats that had
been captured In Philippine waters.
"Oh," said the commodore, "we'll Just
call one The Massachusetts Institute
of Technology and the other The Penn
sylvania College For Physicians and
Surgeons." .
He Ate the Stalks.
Asparagus was a great dish with
Dean Swift. Dining with him one day
George Faulkener, the Dublin publish
er, asked for a second helping of his
favorite vegetable, hut Swift pointed
to the stalks on his guest's plate and -Bald,
"Sir, first finish what Is before
you." "What!" exclaimed Faulkener,"
"eat my stalks?" "Aye, sir," bellowed
the imperious dean;, "eat your stalks
or you will get no more. King William
III. always ate his stalks." I
Asked once, when he was telling the
story, whether he really did eat his
stalks, Faulkener replied, "Yes, cer
tainly; and If you bad dined with
Dean Swift you would have been
obliged to eat your stalks too."
STUMPED THE SPELLERS.
One Simple Little Word Vanquished
the Entire School.
The following story is vouched for
by A. J. Carter of Carbon Center, Pa.,
bis grandaunt having been a witness
of the Incident, says the Philadelphia
Record.
In Armstrong county, Pa., In the year
of 1830 or thereabout, when educational
facilities In the rural districts were de
cidedly crude, and the burden of the
curriculum In the old log "skulehonse"
was Involved In spellin' 'ritln' and
'rlthmetlc, with considerable high
pressure on the spellin', as exploited In
periodical spelling matches between
rival neighboring schools, a "sku'.e
master," with all the proverbially
quaint attributes of his time and call
inglong, lank, cadaverous, spectacled,
prominent nose and Henry Clay looks,
even- down to the threadbare frock
loat, broad brimmed hat nud blue cot
ton umbrella piloted bis flock of
Unsey clouted and skirted "scholars"
to a neighboring school to break a
lance or two In the orthographical pas
time. The ensuing "spelliu' bee" was
spirited, the visitors finally being van
quished after a long set-to.
The visiting master then requested
to be permitted to tesj: the opposition
with a few special ."twisters" he had In
preparation for them. Ills host con
senting to the ordeal, the entire school
was lined up and proceeded to unwind
the twisters with more or less suc
cess until their examiner propounded
one that caused them all to stutter and
trample their toes In dismay "Egg-wiped."
They all had a try, many tries, and
the master pronounced the word over
and over for them, enunciating clearly,
distinctly, syllabically, "Egg-wiped!"
Everybody missed to his or her own
discomfiture and confusion, and to
their own master's humiliation. Again
and again they were asked If they gave
It up. At last the premier spellers of
the school shamefacedly acknowledged
their Inability to spell the word and
gave it up.
The schoolmaster then spelled It for
them with a flourish of triumph not
unmixed with contempt, "E-g-y-p-tl"
Just Like Real "Uncle."
Nat Goodwin was once the victim of
an amusing incident In the theater.
in one of his parts he had to come on
the stage with a coat over his arm and
call out loudly, "Uncle, uncle!" Ac
cording to the book, he should have
received no reply, but one night one of
the "gods" answered him with: "All
right; I'm coming in a minntel How
much do yon want on the coat?"
Won't this be a great old campaign?