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BAKING
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combined
ABSOLUTELY PURE.
X ROYAL BAKIN3 POWDER CO., 10S WALL ST, NEW-YORK.
TO HIT OR NOT TO HITf
Should a Gentleman Knock Down Bufflaa
For Insulting a Lady?
Our advice upon an exasperating but
easily determined question 01 street etl
quette 1b here requested:
'What would you consider the, wisest count
to pursue In the following case:
If a ruffian makes offensive remarks a boat a
lady, either on the street or in a publio convey.
anca. what should the gentleman do who 1
carting her at the time? Such an Incident
happened only last week and was published in
The Sun.
This question came up In our club, and every
member has a different opinion on the subject,
tome advocating violence and others believing
indifference to be best under the circumstances.
If our friend will apply to this incident
the treatment which would have followed
it in the days of historic chivalry, he will
perhaps be readier to accept the method
prescribed by the circumstances of civiliza
tion. In days of old, when knights were
bold, if an mult had been aimed at the
lady with wnom one of them was keeping
com pnny, the moment after the rude man's
words bad left bis mouth a sword would
hare been found sticking out from behind
his bock.
Such was the penalty inflicted for such
an outrage in those days. In the face of
this bercic practice bow puny, how hope
lessly Impotentand Insufficient, would seem
simple smash npon the smeller, delivered
from a manlv arm however troodl It ia
this phase of social progress that has helped
to strengthen the feeling of aversion with ,
which modern manners are inclined to put
way brawling und roughness from sight,
and especially fiom the eyes of women.
Even in very recent times, when duels were
in good standing, if a man should insult a
woman in another's presence he would be
more liable to be called upon to nppcar at
tome distant place and fight for his life
than tohure to tako a licking on the spot.
So of the case cited nbove. A light is
something which a lady should not be
forced to witness. It is better that she
should neither see it nor be concerned with
It. Any but an extreme insult by a street
ruffian Is beneath the notice of a liuly and
gentleman. It need not be understood to
apply to them. They are under no obliga
tion to bear it, any more than if it were ad
dressed to some other party. They are be
yond the reach of Its evil breath, and so
well established is the popular feeling that
women walk encircled with a safeguard
against this sort of brutality, that, delicate
as it is in nature, it is well nigh insur
mountable. And It not only protects also
woman's escort, but it constrains him
equally to remain within iU lines by her
tide.
Under any but most unusual circum
stances It Is imperative tor the gentleman,
out of respect for the lady, to curb his nat
ural manly impulse and to continue In
teeming ignorance of offense. But this rule
of course is amenable to Judgment. It Is
conceivable that a Indian's vileness of con
duct may paw beyond the line of endur
ance, and then to the whaling he should
get on the spot there is no limitation laid
down in the pages of etiquette or human!
ty. ew York Bun.
COURTING BY WIRE.
A SON'S WISH.
Mother, In tht lonely ways
Of home land whence 1 same,
vVhere you walk tht world apart,
Without fear and without lilama,
Keep me ever In thine eye.
As the hllla their morning star.
Though I paw into Hi day.
Whore my toiling fellows art,
Keop me ever In thy heart.
With the old remembered things,
Till fur me there be no mora
April whon the robin sings.
Keep me ever in thy prayers.
That at iiililuliiht or at noon,
When Ood needs a man in haatt,
He may not fonret thy win.
lilies Carman iu Voulh's Companion.
MY AUNT'S EARRINGS.
Detective stories huve always boon my
favorite form of literature I have read
many and have guliied from them a
thorough contempt for probability and
the police. The llrst thing yon should
do when a crime has been committed, ac
I often suid to Undo Pofrklns, is to sus
pect tlio most unlikely uiuu us being the
criminal.'
That was the course I adopted whon
Aunt Poffkiiis' earrings were stolon. It
ws in the morning when the theft was
discovered. Aunt caino down late and
ran into the room whore Undo Poffkins,
Dora and I wore breakfasting. My aunt
bore truces of stronff au'itution. and the
ma Man ausnea over tne ncuer, dui was na(j forgotten her cap.
Duenchanud oa sight, "ily eurrings!" she cried. "They are
A telegraph operator in a Boston office I gonotlioy are stolonl"
once met with bitter disappointment i nQod bless my soul!" exclaimed Uncle
early In his career by fulling in love with I tm,i,. .immiimr hia tnHit hhmi
a young woman at the other end of one hcen ghot aud it,ttping np wjth a yon 0f
pain. He said the yell was attributed to
of the old Western Union wires. She
used to say sweet little nothings when a ,, heat of the to0i which was trickling
lull in the business gave her an oppor- down hIg jegs
tunity to use the wire. The young man , Xf ,.nt 'itnj on,,, Min(,. .B
I..1 I. 11.. Tl i. rtl 1 1 iLe -
woraeu m uie oobvou uukwmiu uau iu fc ( wrappej in cotton wool in tt jewel
reputation of being a "fly' sender and Qn hcr dre8oing tuWo. The ix was
able to receive what he could send, an all neyer lockedi and tw) hou8eraaid httd ao.
important factor in the "sizingup" of an . in rmim Tha i-i iin, nll,
m .1.-1 --- - r '
uiu,r. im. "umau M iruuu WU.. been in the house a week and was known
him say even "Gm" or ''Oe" (good morn- tQ hay9 a My aunt and C0UKin at
Ingorgood evening) to her, and the other onceconcIudodgh9 was the thief andsont
Bir uu iin wue, iiu wuuui uo UOv for a p0ijCCronn, who searched her trunk
condescended to exchange even these or- - . d notllill cf courgo. i uid
mnary salutations, were jealous, as lime have told them that.
wore on tneir conversations over tne wire .,t,ii t m vru
became longer and more freiiuent. Fi-1 Poffkills UeWtt8 the one person who
nallyan invitation to come to Boston and ,, , ,, ,,, .t,,nv, i .tni.
Tisn one m tue tueaicrs was given anu . B.irrinL tra wna Vflrv
accepted. The Lothario of the wire was . .(,lU ,tm,.w du,
.cu, .cu 1U .u mo .., nni(ltf : 1.1. movomcnts.
white straw hat, with a blue band; she mu , ' nllI(1 ha. . ,
Moreover,
was to carry a small satchel of peculiar
shape in one hand and a fluffy lace hand
kerchief in the other.
The train arrived at the eastern sta
tion on time, and the satchel of peculiar
design was sighted. It was indeed a pe
culiar design. It was an old fashioned
carpetbag of a grayish green color and
my aunt would have given him the ear
rings at any moment if be had asked lor
them. Evidently he was the lust man to
attract suspicion. Accordingly I watched
Uncle Poffkins closely.
We passed a week of excitement. The
police were running out and in. Dora
cross examined the housemaid incessant
ly. Aunt Poffkins went abroad weeping
1.1 l .11 i . r .1.1 1 J
"77""" uoB1pDB- an(lreIllimiillg every one she met that
bet. The girl wi a sight that won d tho eiirrings were a present from Uncle
have made Neil Burgess in the '"County poffkin8 fn th(J of th(jir
Fair" go and hide. She was fully 48 .
years old. Long corkscrew curls of a, M fa tf tQ
past era bung down over her shoulders , themotter and went so fur as
like twists of molasses candy, and a smile ..., t..)i,oi n,.
loomed up under the eaves of her sun- . n u .i 1 1
An Anecdote of Pope Leo.
While uuuelo at the Belgian court, Leo
heard much of Queen Victoria, niece of
King Leopold, and before he left Belgium
to go to f erogla be paid a visit of a month
to London. There he strolled In the park
and up and down the streets and made a
careful study of English life. He was es
pecial ly fond of passing an hour or two in
the distinguished strangers' gallery of the
House or commons and greatly admired the
oratory of U'Connell. He used also to fre
quent the print shops of I'all Mall and was
wont to speak of the days he spent in Eng
land's capital to visitors from Britain, lie
knew a little English then, and in Brussels
often visited an English family to "do con
vernation," but whut be learned thereof
the language was apparently forgotten
during nis later years.
While at Brussels ho was a frequent guest
at tne bouse ot Charles Lever, the novelist.
and there he often met Dr. Whately, the
rroiestani archbishop or Dublin. They
were great friends and delighted to argue
on mtittira th?nloglcul. Many stories of the
uuucio s wit stlii survive about the Belgian
court. On one occasion a certain marquis
suowea tne nuncio a snuffbox ou which
wo painted a very lovely Venus. The mar-
qula thought his action decidedly humor
ous, and when the nuncio hud partaken of
tne contents or the box and banded it back
asked his opinion of the picture. "It is
most charming," was the reply, "and is it
a portrait of inmlame the marqulsef "
A Mistaken Idea.
She was reading over the column of
marriage notices.
"It can't be true," sheBaid, "that mar
riage is a lottery."
'And why not?" asked the young man
with her.
"Because there is a law against adver
tising lotteries, and look at this," Bhe re
plied, bandiug the paper to him. De
troit Free Press.
A Time Killer.
Ed What do you do to pass away the
time?
Ned Easy enough. I juBt give my
promissory note to some one for 80 days,
and the time passes quickly enough, I
assure yon. London Quiver.
Something She Would Stop At,
"I don't believe that horrid Miss Bol
ton would stop at anything. "
Bob Did yon ever try her with t
oda fountain? Chicago Inter Ocean.
bonnet that would have done credit to a
fissure in the side of Vesuvius.
She was extremely glad to see him,
and he, with the instinct of a true gen
tleman, tried to appear that he was just
as glad to see her. He took her carpet
bag, and they boarded a car for the
bouse where he was staying. There
were sly nudges and covert laughs at
the tea table, all the girls and young
men thinking the young operator was
entertaining his aunt from the country.
For the evening performance at the the
ater the giddy maiden fished out an aw
ful bonnet from the deptlm of her car
petbag and slicked tip her curls in the
moBt approved fashion. The bonnet was
a flower garden in itself, and the writer
has the young man's own word for it
that she and the bonnet attracted more
attention than the play.
The next duy be sent her home, but
ever after he wus careful not to allow
himself to converse with any one on the
wire except on business. Donahoe's
Magazine.
Antiquity of the Alphabet.
According to Philippe Berger'g book
entitled "llistoire de l'Ecntus duns l'An-
tiquito," the alphabet was invented about
1500 B. C, that invented by the Phoe
nicians being without doubt the oldest
of all the forms of expressing thought
or sounds by character. Originally it
and all other alphabets were simply a
genes ot Hieroglyphics or picture char
acters, the idea of an elephant or an ox
being expressed by rude sketches of
such animals, abbreviations being in the
form of a puir of tusks, horns, eto. Pro
feasor Auer (Bee Vienna edition of his
"Sprachalle," 18-10) says that, taking
both the ancient and modern alphabets
Into account, as many as 400 different
sets of characters, hieroglyphics and let
ters may be enumerated, that these
are all outgrowths of the Phoenician
mode of mutely expressing thought or
sound, and that if we should set aside
slight variations of form the grand to
tal of 400 alphabets would dwindle im
mediately to less than SO.
The best oriental scholars have (riven
it as their opinion that the original Phoe
nician alphubet was composed of but 16
characters, yet it is known that it con
tained at least 21 and probably 23 at the
time when it was adopted by the Greeks.
Why or by whom these extra characters
were invented, or why such an addition
was necessary, has never been explained,
St. Louis Republic.
Taste
has lost lives. In former
years people wouldn't take
Cod-liver Oil on account of
Its bad taste. Now we have
Scott's
Emulsion
the Cream of Cod-liver Oil,
which Is palatable and easier
on the digestive organs than
plain oil, besides being more
effective. Physicians, the world
over, endorse it
Da'. Ii deceirel bj Substitute.!
s brSoett . . T. AllDratneta
Whistling Jack.
Jack McCarthy is familiarly known
wherever he goes as "Whistling Jock."
The prefix to Jack is tacked on him 10
minutes after he lands at any city, and he
has been in every town of over 10,000 in
habitants in the United States. Jack can
hardly be called a boy now. He is 23 or
21 years old. He made his first appear
ance in Pittsburg about 10 years ago, a
thin, nervous little chap, who stuttered
to distressingly that the charitably in
clined willingly gave him the price of a
paper rather than hear his pitiful at
tempts to cry his wares. Somebody
told him one day that if he would whis
tle when be came to a word that he found
unpronounceable he would soon cure
himself of his painful stutter. Jack tried
it, and in less than six mouths the whis
tle was as fixed a habit as the stutter
ing. At the end of a year be could no
more speak a dozen words without 11
whistles than he could fly, and this was
the way he got the sobriquet of "Whis
tling Jack." New York Mail and Ex-
Cress.
he could put me off the scent by that
clumsy maneuver. I never left him
alono. I trucked him to the city, hung
about all the morning, shadowed biin
when he went to lunch, when he re
tamed, when he crossed over to tho ex
change. Unknown to him I was on his bus
inside if he rodo on the top, and on top
when it rained and he stowed himself
away inside. Ho never escaped me ex
cept when ho was in his office. At lust,
after 10 days' weary chasing, I was re
warded. I need not say that tho police
had discovered nothing. The house was
still topsy turvy and my aunt subject to
intermittent hysterics.
That wronged creature, the house
maid, did her work with a mop in one
hand and in the other a handkerchief,
wet with innocent tears. But to return
to Uncle Poffkins. The tonth day after
the earrings hud disappeared, as he was
brushing his hat before leaving the
house and looking at my aunt's tear
bedowed visago, his conscience smote
him, and he so far forgot himself as to
exclaim audibly;
"I'm blamed if I can stand this any
longer!" The folly of the man was in
credible. I had him now I In an instant
I was after him. Ho took bus, I took
a cab, and we started for the city. Now
came the odd thing Uncle Poffkins
disappeared.
How it happened I do not know, but
when the bus pulled up to the bank
Uncle Poffkins was not to be seen. I
questioned the conductor, but he had
evidently been bribed and told me very
rudely that he had something better to
do than answer my riddles. He drove
on, and I was left for the first time at
fault.
It was evening before I saw Uncle
Poffkins. I was going home in a very
disconsolate state, when, about 200 yards
from our gate, I eHpied him ahead of me.
Quickening my pace, I stealthily ap
prouched him, He opened the gnto and
passed in; noiselessly I followed him.
A little further on, sheltered by the
shrubbery, he stopped, and after a
ateiilthy glance toward the houso took
from his coat pocket a small morocco
case. 1 stood on tiptoe just behind, and
with mingled horror and satisfaction as
looked over his shoulder I saw the
I was right.
earrings. Then guzing lit the pair In his
band to the other pair on the ground he
ejaculated softly, and to my ears at least
mysteriously!
"Thine earrings iu my 'and wot found
in your drawer, young mutt, wrapped in
cotton wool. 'Ow do you ar-couut for
that?"
"Those on the ground," I retorted,
"were found iu Air. i'oiTkius' pocket,
now do you account for that?" Bo shook
his head tadly. Then lie suddenly bright
ened up. Ho hud an idea. He produced
another pair of hundcuffs, clupiwd them
on my uncle's hund aud cried cheer
fully!
"We cant be wrong now. can wo?
March I" So Uncle PofTklnt and 1
marched, the policeman between us,
with a hold on each of our collars, and
in this predicament we were presented
to Aunt lWkins, to Dora and to the
housemaid. The housemaid giggled con
suiuodly, for which, under tho circum
stances, one could hardly blame her.
Aunt Poffkins experienced a relapse,
and Dora alone was equal to the situa
tion. She mado us sit dowu and gave
us each a gloss of sherry. Then the re
criminations began. Undo Poffkins de
clared Ids earrings wero not the stolen
puir. Distressed at my auut't sorrow,
ho hod gone to the jeweler's and bought
her a similar pair. They cost 80 guiu
eus. The struggle I had witnessed was
between love and economy, not honesty
and crime.
I sworo that tho earrings found in my
bureau had not been placed there by mo.
"And you are both quite right," said
Dora. "Uncle's earrings are not the
stolon ones. Tom, do you remember hav
ing tho toothache'" It wus clear to me
in a moment. I had asked for cotton
wool, and hud been directed to my aunt's
jewel box and from it grubbed a large
handful and carried it to my room. Then
on reflection I hud tried brandy instead
of laudanum, and th- :otton wool was
thrust into the drawer. The earrings
hud been buried in tho cotton wool.
"So you were the thief yoursolfl"
laughed Dora. It was true.
If only I had strictly followed out
whut my reading had taught mot For,
improbable as it was that 1 should think
Uncle Poffkins guilty, it would huve
been still more improbublo had I fixed
the crimo on myself. 1 lucked the full
courago of my principles, and the result
is Undo Poffkins and I do not speak.
St. James Budget.
THCV MAVt STRANGE GODS.
Koreans Worship Ancestral Splrlte and
Malta aWwrlfloe to Demons.
In Keren a good deal of attention In re
ligion it paid to tho worship of anwxtral
spirits, aud ancrllltrs are inadu to demons
who piny ttar roles. One ot thesu spirit
it said to take up Its nhode In an axrturo
made by nailing two plea of walnut
hoard together without causing them to
meet. Till Is called an ancestral tuhle
and It ofUin to del Had at to hovo a temple
built for Itt reception. At other timet it
hat a separate room In a house, or again
Is carefully laid aside In a quiet nook.
A aoooiid spirit "goes bank" to the on
ccstorH, aud tho eldest ton of tho deceased
dutifully propitiates tho demons by sacri
The Injustice of Dower Distribution.
The injustice to woman in the com
mon law rule of distribution of dower
when reul estate is turned into money
for division among heirs was recently
painfully impressed in a Michigan case.
A couple had started in life 23 years ago,
having very limited means. The wife
was the more robust physically and al
ways of essential support to the husband
in his business cures, besides discharg
ing with ability and devotion her duties
mother and homemuker. They pos
sessed a competence at the husband's
death. The widow and two minor chil
dren survived. They wished to sell a
piece of land that had been entirely un
productive up to the death, but ut that
time there was an inquiry to purchase.
To enable a sale of this land out of
the intestate estute the probate court
expense was $-0, or only $10 less than the
share allotted to the widow on tho basis
of her probable life yet to be, while each
of the minor children, quite incompetent
to handlo money in business, received
193, or three and a quarter times us
much as tho mother, a prudent business
woman. Woman's Tribune.
8ACKIK1CK TO A DEMON.
flclng for its pence, and a third spirit Is In
like manner waited upon by this dutiful
scion lest by any means tho demons should
disturb Its peace In tho gravo. Ho may bo
to dutiful tin to build a hut besldo tho
gravo on tho mountain sldo In order to
he ablo to offer morning and evening sac
rifices to tho demons fur the benefit of the
spirit remaining In tho body. These sac
rifices are continued three years In tho onuo
of tho father nnd one year for tho mother.
Tho son's olothlngwhllo performing these
rites Is of coarse seaweed cloth and girdle
and reminds ono of tho Scriptural sack
cloth. Tho meat offering that ha brings
Is tho best food that ho can afford. It con
sists usually of boiled rice, raw cnbbago
and turnips, sliced, In strong brine, fish
nnd fruit. Tho drink offering Is imtlvo
liquor mado of wheat and is highly In
toxicating. There are variotles of liquor
in Korea. Moreover, tho drinks may bo
made on tho premises while you wuit, for
each liquor shop has its distillery.
The Koreans aro an Imaginative race.
Tho tlino between tho sacrhlclal cere
monies Is taken up In searching the hills
for a propitious slto for burial, and the
hills themselves becomo dragons, spirits
and ghosts, to gain whose favor is tho do-
sire of every heart, for in that way alone
can they liopo for earthly prosperity,
Praying to tho mountain spirits and wor
shiping every hilltop is tho outgrowth of
ancestral reverence. Shrines or spirit trees
aro ut every mountain pass, and trnvolors
bow and mako a trivial offering to thorn.
TATTOO THE WEDDING RING.
A Ilrltlsh Racial Reformer f UffetU Brand
ing Both Bride and Groom.
Drar Sir I wish in all earnestness to
make known a suggestion that would
tave many a broken heart among tht
sensitive and many a broach of promise
case among the mercantile, and'would
considerably lighten the labors of the
police courts and law courts. My sug
gestion is that every married man and
every married woman should have cir-
lle tattooed around the third finger of
the left hand in place of or as well
the wedding ring, This would be a sign
that could never be taken off or effaced
and would therefore leave a lesser mar
gin for the treacheries and tricks of biga
mists and other great and small offenses
against luw, society and individuals,
To make this proposition practical and
distinctive, of course cor tain rules would
have to be mado. For instance, any un
married mun or woman tattooing their
third finger to be heavily fined. Every
widow and widower to add a distin
guishing mark to thoir ring. Every
married man or woman disunited by
law to have a bur of erasure across their
wedding ring, and those who marry two
or three times to add the extra circles
accordingly.
The operation of tattooing eould with
all reverence be performed by an ex
pert in the vestry after the church serv
ice, or ut the registrar's office for those
who only go through the civil ceremony,
This tattooing may seem a return to
barbarism, but our much vaunted civ
ilization has introduced Btich numerous
aids to deceit that a safeguard and a
warning, such as a tattooed wedding
ring, would become a practical prevent
ive of much sham, folly and wrong.
Unly those who have sympathy for un
lawful liberty will demur against the
idea being realized. I shall be pleased
to hear from all who approve of my
schemo and are willing to assist in form
ing a society to influence others in bring
ing about a custom that would help to
insure peace, respect and happiness to
many homes and hearts. Yours faith
fully, B. T. Knollys.
Letter to Pull Mull Gazette.
Kovel Anchors.
The British steamer Buwnmoro now
discharging coal at Mission No. 2, has a
novelty aboard in the shape of astockless
anchor. In fact, she has two of them, and
they are hauled up "chock a block" to
the hawse holes in a way to make a sailor
feel like kicking himself for all the risks
he has run in the way of catting and
fishing anchors in yeurs gone by. The
anchor bus no stock and no flukes. It
consists of a heavy semicircular mass of
metal fastened directly to the chain and
furnished with two attachments very
similar to the old tune flukes, but twisted
like the flanges of a scrow propeller. The
anchor can be let go and grounded inside
of 10 seconds and hoisted in jess than half
a minuto. It will take hold of the hard
est bottom, nnd the anchors, starboard
and port, will keep a ship in position in
the worst weather. San Francisco Cull.
Distance Traveled by Odors.
As an illustration of tho distance odors
are carried it is noteworthy that the
fumes and exhalations from the sulphur
springs of Colorado can be distinguished
at a distance of fully SO miles. The de
licious perfume of the forests of Ceylon
is carried by the wind 25 miles out to
sea, whilo in foggy weather travelers 100
miles from the laud have recognized their
proximity to the coast of Columbia by
the sweet smoll brought them on a breeze
from the shore. Exchange.
No Offense.
A boy was once brought before "Old
Steady" Baker, the mayor of Folkestone,
for stealing gooseberries. Baker turned
over Burn's "Justice," but not being able
to find the article he wanted in the book,
which is alphabetically arranged, lie lift
ed up his spectacles and addressed the
earrings! I was right. Uncle Poffkins culprit thus: "My lad, it's very luckv for
eighod. you that, instead of stealing gooseber-
Shall I give 'em to herornotr he rios, you were not brought here for steal-
said to himself. "It's rank waste. Still, inga goose. There is a statute acainst
it will keep her quiet." 1 watched the stealing geese, but I can't find anything
struggle between his good and his evil about gooseberries iu all Burn, so let the
angel. Clearly the good angel had tri- prisoner be discharged, for I suppose it is
umphed so tar as to bring tne earrings ao offense." San Francisco Argonaut,
within ou yards of Aunt I'ottkms, but
Five Hundred Illral Divorces.
The supremo oourt of Oklahoma has de
cided that under the present statutes of the
territory probnto judges had no authority
to grant divorces, and that all divorces
granted by any probate judge in tho ter
ritory Bince Aug. 14, 1X03, wore null and
void. This decision Is a furreachlng ono
and will causo a sensation all over tho
country, for within the specified time fully
600 divorces hnvo been granted In tho ter
ritory by probate judges. A largo majority
of the persons so divorced have since re
married. They came from ovory state in
tho Union to tako advantage of Oklaho
ma s literal divorco enactments and are
now loft in a queer predicament. They
will at once appeal tho case, to tho su
premo court of tho United states and at-
tonipt to get tho territorial supreme court
decision reversed. The decision does not
affect the divorce lnw of the torritory in
any way beyond tho fact that all divorces
must be granted by tho district courts.
A Girl's Daring- Feat,
There aro not many girls who would
dure leap from a yacht under sail in mid
ocean, or, what was practically tho same.
to a rocking bell buoy anchored five milos
from shore. But this was a daring feat
performed by Miss Laura Warwick, a maid
on not yet 20 years old and a protty girl.
She is not a very largo girl, but sho has
spirit, and when in a tone of banter Wil
now came the tug of war. It was severe,
and it ended in tho victory of evil.
Undo Poffkins, shutting the case with a
snap, exclaimed:
"It's all blamed nonsensel I'll take
'em back to Abraham tomorrow." Abra
ham no doubt was the receiver, for my
undo went on in a satisfied tone:
He'll make no trouble about taking
em." He was putting the case into his
pockot when my feeling overcome mo.
Respect for one s elderly relatives is a
praiseworthy feeling, but it must not be
Washington Wit.
There are people who persist In not liking
John S. Sargent's portrait of ex-Speaker
Reed which hangs iu the lobby of the house
of representatives. Mr. Heed is personally
more than pleased, being quite willing to
go down to posterity as Sargent painted
him. Representative Bingham of Pennsyl
vania does not sympathize with Mr. Heed's
opinion, and wreaked himself one day on
that portrait in a manner worthy of hit wit.
"It ia becoming a serious embarrassment
to know where I am at," aaid Mr. Keed,
apropos of the name applied to him by hit
Democratic friends. "One orator arraigns
me as Julius Cirsar, another at Nero, and,
while endeavoring to discover my idenity,
I am atill further confused by being lik
ened onto Caligula."
"At leant there's one comparison you'll
be spared," interjected Mr. Bingham.
"Wbat't that?" axked Mr. Keed.
"You'll never be compared with your
portrsitr-Katt Fields Washington.
allowed to override higher duties. 1
flung myself on Uncle Poffkins, crying:
"Surrender! You cannot escape me!"
My uncle fell heavily on the gravel path.
I fell heavily on the top of him and pin
ioned his arms to the ground.
"Tom!" he exclaimed, "whot the mis
chiefare you drunk?"
"It is useless, sir," I began, "to affect
ign" I had reached this point when 1
was violently collared from behind, lift
ed bodily off my uncle's chest, where 1
had been sitting, and was deposited on a
grass plut, while a deep voice said in my
ran:
"Now, then, young man, turn it up.
You're a lively un, you are. Fnrst yer
aunt and now yer uncle." The new
comer was a policeman. From his pocket
be produced a pair of handcuffs and put
them on my unresisting wrists. Then I
found my voice.
"What ore yon handcuffing tne for?' I
demanded. "There's the thief."
"Gammon!" said he, grinning.
"Why, you fool, there's the property,'
said L He looked and taw the earrings
lying on the ground by I'm le Poffkins.
An expression of bewilderment over-
Too Tultry,
"Mr. Superintendent, I have come to
report that last night as I was going
home somebody fired a pistol at mo, the
bull of which went right through my hat
here.
"Is that all? You can come again whel
the bullet has gone through your head.
Before then I urn not iu a position to deal
with the matter." Uik.
Welshmen In tlie l ulled Slutes.
" ulcs, ' gfiysa western Welshman, "has
given three presidents to the United States
Jefferson, Adams and Monroe. Thomas
Jefferson was pure Welsh, too, and the
Welshmen of New York nre now organizing
a movement to erect a grand monument to
him. There nre 5,000,000 Welsh and their
immediate deseudants in this country, and
over 1,200,000 pure Welsh nnd their first de
scendants. The Welsh, Irish and Scotch
are, in my opinion, all offshoots of the lit tle
band of Aryans that passed over from Lit
tle Brittany aud settled on what are now
the British isles." New York Tribune.
Too Familiar.
A pretty young southern bride said the
other day: "You can't imagine how dis
gusted mamma was the first time she
heard me call my husband 'Charlie.' I had
not thought of it before, but she always
addresses papa at full length, title and all
I asked her if she bad never used his Chri
tian name. She drew herself up Htid an
swered with dignity, 'I could never have
been so presuming.' "New Y'ork Timet.
Fires and Insurance In Louilon.
The fires iu the metropolis of London in
1S1 numbered S.SK, of which UW were seri
ous. Ine lives lost numbered 61, 81 of
these having been taken out alive. The
total cost of the brigrule was jtl'J0,?a. or 6
pence per neail or tne population. The Are
insurance comnaniea mntrkimti e-? icm
spread the officer's face at groping again i Property waa insured for no leas a sum
Ml WI POCkStj QJ druUUI Una lWr than tsoe.OOO.OUJ.-FaU Moll 0 alette.
MISS WAHWICK STANDING ON THE BELL BUOY.
linra Wesoont, n member of the Corinthian
fleet of Atlantic, with whom sho was out
sailing, dared her, she mounted tho prow
of tho boat, nnd as it went gliding by the
big buoy, which wns moving in unison
with tho riso nnd fall of the sea, sho leaped
upon tho moving platform.
It wns a during act, whether sho had
confidence In her companion's nbility to
porform tho sorvlce of rescuo or not in the
ovont of n miscalculation of tho distance.
Whilo sho clung to the buoy, rocking like
a cradle, her companion put away, and
when at a sufficient distnnco he produced
his camera and snapped it. Tho photo
graph has only had a limited circulation
among "her immedinto friends, but wher-
ovcr it was shown It called forth but a sln
glo exclamation, "How did sho duro do
It!" The bell buoy is anchored at the
mouth of tho inlet, five miles from land.
An Umbrella.
"Show me on umbrella," says a manu
facturer, "that has holes worn in the silk
about the ring at the top, while the body
of the material is still intuct throughout,
and I will show you the owner of an um
brella who doesn't deserve to own one.
if it is a good one. Aud show me an um
brella that has holes in along the ribs be
fore natural use of it should make them
come there, and I will show you an own
er who carries his umbrella more for the
sake of appearance than for utility."
A wet umbrella placed handle down
drips the moisture from it at the edges
of the frame, and the material with which
it is covered dries evenly and leaves no
spot still soaked with water. If the
handle is upward, the water runs down
to one spot ut the top, where the strong
cloth lining about the ring holds a good
deal of it and in a comparatively short
time rots the material, and it breaks
easily.
The man who carries his umbrella
swathed iu its cose when it is not called
into use by ruin will soon find it wearing
out from top to bottom.
This is because of constant friction be
tween the cuse and the silk, and no mat-
tor of how good quality it may be the
holes will appear in it long before they
should, and the provider of the umbrella
will of course be blamed for selling in
ferior or damaged goods. There are
many people so ignorant of the proper
treatment of an umbrella that they will
actuully roll it up when wet and leave
it to rot and mold until the next time
they want it fer use. New York World,
NKVKH TOO LATI OB TOO IOON,
There it more lost in lift from putting oil'
from to-day till to-morrow what might be
done on tbt lnttant than from any other
cause. Fortune and fame have been thus
wrecked, tnd In minor things It will not do
to deity snd trifle. A man hobbling on
erutohet for the rest of hit life, caused by
sprain, would have been swell, sound man,
out of misery, if ba bad used Ut. Jacobs
Oil when tht mishap occurred. It It never
too toon to get it: never too late to ute It,
The great remedy for pain never tarriet it
will do itt work in ten minutes if it it al
lowed to do so. Treat pain at you would a
mosquito unoox it out at toon at it bites.
Caller-I wonder If I can sue your mother,
HUB DUVT I SUV BUEHIfl-U I L.IIL1B DOV JLI1-
anna i naicner (iviu' usr not t marriea.
KIDNKY TltOUBLK.
Some most exoruclating pain comet from
derangement of the kidneyt. This it the
testimony Senator Henry 0. Nelten of New
York at to the value of Allcocx'i Pobodi
Plasties in such cases i
"On the 27th of Februarv. 1WU. T
taken with a violent pain in the region of
. i. i. : .1 t ji' " i . .. ..
kuo siuiirve. l auiiBrtHi sunn airnnv iiirt. i
could hardly stand up. As soon as possible
i Bjuieu iwu abi.couK'i rosout tUASTIRfl,
one over each kidney, and lay down. In
tn hour, to my turprise and delight, the
pain bad vanished, and I wat well. I wore
tne plasters for a day or two at a Drecau
tlon, and then removed them. I have been
using Allcock'i Porous Plastibs in my
family for the last ten years, and hive al
ways found them the auiokest and bust.
remedy for colds, strains and rheumatic
affections. From my experience I believe
my are me oest piasters in tne world."
duakdbith-s riLLt tone up the tyttem
Bunco Jim How much rild Pntn fft nn thnta
diamonds he stole last nlghtt Hteerer Hub
inmyaaji.
CKNTUKY MAGAZINE.
One of the greatest attractions The Cen.
tury Magazine baa ever offered Is the new
" Life of Nanoleon." bv Prof. William M
Sloane of Princeton, whioh begins in No
vember. The author has been engaged
upon the work for four years, and has had
access to muoh hitherto-unused material.
The entire resources of the art denartment
of the company will be lavished upon the
iiuiBirauons. miring me ooming yeartnere
will also be new and notable serial novels
by Marion Crawford and Mrs. Burton Har-
rfion. Subscription, $4.00 per year. Tui
Cintuby Co., Union Square, New York.
EVERY PUBLISHER.
HOTHERS
and those about to
become mothers,
should know that
Dr. Pierce's Fa.
vorlte Prescription
robs childbirth of
its torture, terrors
aud (lungers to
both mother and
child, by aiding Nature in preparing the
system lor parturition, Thereby "lalKjr"
and also tlie period of confinement are
greatly shortened, It also promotes an
abundant secretion of nourishment for
the child, During pregnancy, it pre
ventt "morning sickness" ami those
distressing nervous symptoms from
which to many sufier.
Tan Itt, ColIt Co., Texas.
Dr. R. V. Pierck, Duffulo, N. Y. :
Dear Sir I took your "Favorite Pre
tcriptlon " previous to confinement tnd
never did so well In my life. It it only
twoweekt since my confinement and I am
able to do my work. I feel stronger than I
ever did in six weeks before,
Yourt truly,
A MOTHER'S EXPERIENCE.
South Dtnd. Pacific Co., Wash.
DR. R. V. Pihrcb, Bumilo, N. Y. :
Dear Sir I began taking your "Favor,
ite Prescription" the first month of preg
nancy, and nave con
tinued taking it since
confinement. I did not
experience the nausea
or any of the ailments
due to pregnancy, after
I began tuking your
"Prescription." I wot
only in labor a short cl
time, and the physician,
laid I got along un-.,.,,nii
We think it saved me Mr'-
a great deal of suffering. I was troubled t
great deal with leucorrhea also, aud it bai
done a world of good for me.
Yours truly,
Mrs, W. C. BAKER.
WW
Every printer, publisher, bookbinder and ,
those in anv wav connected in the art ore.
servative should be subscribers to "Paper
ana rress." trice, si.uu per annum. Send
remittance with order to Wat. M. Patton,
puunsner, rnuaaeipnia, ra.
DEAFNESS CANNOT BE CURED
PS!
lltSO.rOB CASE IT WILL NOT CURE. I
The Tornado's Twist.
The tornado and the cause of its for
mation seem to be less perfectly under
stood than even the ever mysterious elec
tricity. That a tornado has a violent
spiral motion and a distinct ascending
movement is well established. The rapid
rotary motion tends to form a vacuum
in the center of the funnel shaped vol
ume, and this sucking force brings abont
devastation. When a tornado surrounds
a house, the uir inside of it forces the
walls asunder instantly.
But the inception of a tornado and the
causes which lead up to it have not yet
been discovered. The scientist tells us
that the uir of valleys becomes heated
and rises, cold air rushes in to take its
place, the wind hits against a hill, is
changed in its course and goes cavorting
down the valley, and thut makes a tor
nado. But whut gives it the twist? And
there are no mountains in the Missis
sippi valley, but cyclones form there,
Weather bureaus, with all their costly,
delicate instruments, have never yet
satisfactorily explained what gives the
tornado its twist. The world is looking
for a man who can discover the tornado
in its native lair and definitely define,
distinguish and describe it. All this is
for the benefit of our neighbors of the
east, for tlie tornado never visits Cali
fornia. San Jose Mercury.
The Scenery Shifted.
The members of a theatrical com
pany, traveling through Lake George on
their way to Canada, were commenting
upon the grandeur of the scenery when
the train enme to a standstill. One of
the men, becoming impatient, ventured
out, and upon his return was asked the
cause of the delay. "Well, "he replied,
piece of the scenery bay fallen across
t-ie track." Life.
1,1 KE OR DEATH T
Married In a Htore.
Alonzo Rutbbune nnd Miss Laura
Wultman of Orchard, a wealthy young
couple, created a Bcnsntlon in Springfield,
O., by walking Into a furnishing store on
Market street and asking permission to be
married there. Rev. Churlcs Stroud, who
happened to be passing, wns called in, and
the knot was tied. After the ceremony the
young couplo selected their household
goods and departed supremely happy.
The Linen Duster.
Tt Is of vital importance Inst it should be un
derstood by persons whose kidneys are Inactive
Hint this condition ol things Is dually inductive
of b slate ot the organs where life hangs in the
balanc-. Bright' disense.dliihetes, albuminuria
are sll dUeasrs of a very obstinate character in
their mature stige,and sll have a fatal tendency.
They often be file the most practiced medical
skill and the most approved remedies ol mate
ria mcdlea. But opiated at the outset tHat Is
to say, when the Kidneys begin to dischsrge
their function inactively with Hostdtter's
Stomach Bitters, the dangerous tendency Is
cheeked. Very ntedd also Is this househo'd
medicine for those ailments of common ocenr
reaee constjpaiion, biliousness, dyspepsia and
nervonsnes. It Is a safeguard against malaria,
aud averts chronic rheumatism.
Jllhnn says the Baconian theory would doubt
less Und fewer believers i( there Were not to
many h an actors tryii g to do Hhakevpeare.
n .. . 1 1 1 1 . u . , -
fj .wn, n,iii.,iuiiB. mm kumj muuui rcaru ,iib
uiBuuseu portion 01 ineear. mere is omyoue
way io care acumens, ana tost is Dy constitu
tional remedies. Deafness is caused bv an In.
flamed condition of the mucous lining ol the
eu-iiacnian moe. nneninia lime is innamea
rou Have a rumbling sound or Imuerteet hear-
ng. and when it Is entirely closed, deafness Is
me resuii, ana unless toe lunammatlon can be
taken out and this tube restored to Its normal
condition, hearing will be destroyed lorever;
which Is nothing but an Inflamed condition of
the mucous surfaces.
We will glveOne Hundred Dollars for any ease
of deafness (caused by catarrh) that cannot be
earea oy Mau s catarrh cure, eena lor e.rcu-
lam; iree. F. J. UHtNEr or CO.,
Toledo. O.
Sold by druggists; 76 cents.
Anagreeable Laxative and NE11VE TON IC.
Bold by Druggists or tent by mall, ..60o
and 11.00 per package, Samples free.
frrt flrt The Favorite TOOTH POTOH
Ikw 11 U for the Teeth and Unauh, Xuo.
Wm you
TRAVEL ?
IF
Tbt Gmhsa for breakfast.
Ote Euameltne Stove Polish; no dust no smell.
KNOWLEDGE
Brings comfort and improvement and
tends to personal enjoyment when
riirhtiv used. The man who live bet
ter than others ana enjoy lite more, witn
'ess expenditure, by more promptly
adapting the world's best products to
the needs ot physical being, win attest
the value to health of the pure liquid
'axative principles embraced in the
remedy, Syrup of Figs.
Its excellence is due to its presenting
in the form most acceptable and pleas
ant to the taste, the refreshing and truly
beneficial properties of a perfect lax
ative ; ellectualiy cleansing tne system,
dispelling colds, headaches and fevers
and permanently curing constipation.
It has given satisfaction to millions and
met with the approval of the medical
profession, because it acts on the Kid
neys, Liiver ana uoweis witnour, weux-
emng them and it is perfectly free from
every objectionable substance.
Syrup of Figs is for sale by ail drug
gists in 50c and $1 bottles, but it is man
ufactured by the California Fig Syrup
Uo. only, whose name is printed on every
package, also the name, Syrup of Figs,
and being well informed, you will not
accept any substitute if offered.
DIRECTIONS for using
CREAM BALM. Apply
a particle of the Balm weU
up into the nostrils. After
moment draw strong
reath throuah the nose.l
Use three times a dav. afterl
meals preferred, and before
reunng.
ELY'S CREAM
Opens and cleanses the Nasal Passages, Allays
rain ana innammaiion, ueais me Bores, rru
tects the Membrane from colds. Restores the
Hemes of Taste and Smell. The Balm Is quickly
absorbed aud gives relief at once.
A particle is applied into each nostril, and Is
agreeable, i-uce, ouoenta at uniggisiv or oj
mau. ill, dkuthckn,
M Warren Street, Mew York.
SO, YOU WILL FIND THE
BIG FOUR ROUTE
THE BEST LINE
BAST.
1 VESTIBULE TRAINS.
ELEGANT DINING CARS.
QUICK. TIME.
Ask for Tickets via
Big Four Route.
e. d. Mccormick, , d. b. martin,
Pass. Traffic Manager. Ocn. Pass. A Tkt. Agt,
CINCINNATI.
W. L. Douglas
CI CUfili isTHiacrr. .
V JnWbNOHUIAKINa
f o. CORDOVAN.
FRENCH&ErWMEtlFDCALR
1.i.lnNECAlf&KiaAfJ
99.VP0LICrT,3Sou
2.Li BoriscHOBtSKaESi
- - LADIES
FWLDOUOLAS,
BROCKTON. MAM.
Tra eaa save fcr wearlea th
W. L. Deaalaa 13.00 Shea.
. wv mrm torn largest maanraetorers ai
Wis aradeof shoes la the world, and mruiu taiB
valua 07 stamping tha aaraa aaa price on tfca
bottom, wslaa protest rou against high prices aa4
tha mldalsmaa's profits. Our shoes equal eustoat
work la stria, eas fining and woarlng quantise.
We have them sold everywhere at lower prloesfer
the value glvea than anv othar maka. Tnkm ma mk.
aUluta, IX rear daalw eanaot tuyplr 7u, w aaa,
YUCCA ROOT SOAP,
Miule by n new
? roues s from
he famous
Yucca or Mexi
can Bonn Itoot,
Is simply na
tures remedy
for cl e ti n s i n g
and healing,
and contains
wonderful me
dicinal proper
ties peculiar to
Itself. 1 1 rc
movesdandruff, cleans the scalp
and wus it In a
lotwuiBEais!tMe . aene.'allv heal
thy condition, leaving the hair soft aud smooth.
Cures all skin diseases, aud removes Btiiins, etc.,
from the silks and coarsest fabrics. Bcaulliles
the complexion and toftens the skin. At ail
dnigginls'. or Yucca Koot Hoaf Co.. 1155 Mission
street, Ban Francisco, Cal.
iDr,MURAT'SfiuLe
H'oraM'i Sure Prientl. NeYtrFalU Atmolutelr
MaiV. Tbt OrsU French Kuumlv.
Purely Vefetibl. MrTloo Teilimoniftls. Mw mc4
U bivk "WftBin'n Frl ",ld coupon fr 1 Box Free.
DH. Ml' it AT UEU1C1.NK CO4la k lili, Clnclnnntl, U.
BALM
GOLDEN WEST
Baa no superior,
IT'S A
BAKING POWDER,
LIEU
DR. LIEBIG & CO..
Special Doctors for talc, Private
and Wasting Diseases.
Dr. Lfebitr's Invlvorstor the greatest iVRiedr for
Seminal Weakness, Loss of Manhood and Private
uineanes, overcomes rrematureDeBs ana prepares
ail for mar-nave life's duties, pleasures and reHnon-
slbilltles; II trial bottle Klven or sent free to anv
one describing symptoms; call or address 400 Gear;
o., private euuMii'u wo jubbou Bt.t nq rauciaco.
"It is a long time," said a traveling TVlot Tirorl FsOolirtfT
an, "since I have seen a linen duster of,lU 11ICU 1 OOlillg
man
the old fashioned kind, which wrinkled
and creased whenever yon sat down in
it, especially if the weather was a little
damp, and which looked after you had
been 100 miles or so in it as though yoo
had worn it around the world 17 times,
11 the way by rail, and had sat np in it
all the time, bnt alpaca dusters are still
worn." New York Sun.
An Early Tasta For Art.
A well known magazine illustrator de
veloped hcr taste for drawing at an early
ace, sne was a nasuiui uuw gin, j
ffillt
" I cordially recom
mend Hood's Baraa-
parilla to all who may
be suffering with in
digestion or Impure
blood, do appetite.
Run Down
feeling, or generally
out of order. It will
surely help any who
Rive It a fair trial. If
tbera Is any help for
them. I have found
it of great benefit for
Rheumatism.
YOU CAN
REMOVE
SUPERFLUOUS
HAIR
From Face, Neck and Arms in
Ave minutes with MIDKNK,
without pain or injury to tha
skin. Send stamp for circular.
Local agents wanted. NUDhNE
MK(J. CO., Room 12, The Ven
dome, Portland, Or.
MRS. WINSLOW'S 57W
- FOP. CHILDREN TEETHING -!
sale y all Vnnhla. SaCeauakBttla,
refused to talK to visitors out u was w, haT, nted Hood, g...,.,,.
often found afterward tna t sne naa occu- haT, no lick headache tpella, paU, 0r tiiwd
pled tne nine vi mm aj uj YT A9m
nooas5Fuures
caricatures of the company on her shite
as she sat in hcr isolated corner. New
York Times.
One of the most important, bnt one
of the most difficult, things of a power
ful mind is to be its own master. A
pond may lie quiet in a plain, but a
lake wants mountains to compass ana
bold it in. Addison.
feeling W. N. Biasgs, Hartlord City. Ind.
Hood's Pills give universal satisfaction.
LuMS Wit lit 111 Hit llili.
ttwh arnip. TaiaeB iou& Car
In tlTTia. r.itd r-r cmer
I
FOR LADIES I
IOO TN UOLDwillbe paid by the Koch
Chemical Co. for any pate of female weakness
that will nt vield to DR. J. 8. KOCH'S AN II
SEPT1C SANATIVE POWDER.' P,lc 11.00 per
oox. For sale by all drugjiats.
S. P. N. TJ. No. 668 -8. i'. K. TJ. No. 645
HOW TO SAVE MONEY.
BaT yonr OROCERIES and PROVISIONS of us, and we will save yon money. We handle the best
goods and dellrer free to trains or boats. We buy and sell for spot cash, and sell goods ch-apVr
than any other firm In the eoontry. Bend ns your name and address, and we will mall yoa our
- 11 "- m m .a, awn. ni oner lo-aay :
Dry grannlated sugar In UO-lb. sacks lor. 5 60 I Best coal o'l per case ..
Portland dour per barrel 2 15 Arbnckle-s ivnVe ner rnand"! '" ,
Send as a list ol what yon need, and wa will make you special pricea. Address your orders io
MARK L. COHN CO., 146 Front Street. Portland, Or.
' WHER DIRT GATHERS, WASTE RULES."
GREAT SAVING RESULTS FROM THE USE OF
SAPOLIO
on
MALARIA !
a on? v. Trv tt
DO YOU FEEL BAD? DOES VOL'S BACK
vheT Does everr tp aeem a bnrden? You n-d
moore'S Revealed remedy.