s mm BAKING P0WCS5V Admitted to be the finest prep aration of the kind in the mar .kct Makes the best and most wholesome bread, cake, and biscuit. A hundred thousand unsolicited testimo nials to this effect are received annually by its manufacturers. Its sale is greater than that of all other baking powders combined ABSOLUTELY PURE. X ROYAL BAKIN3 POWDER CO., 10S WALL ST, NEW-YORK. TO HIT OR NOT TO HITf Should a Gentleman Knock Down Bufflaa For Insulting a Lady? Our advice upon an exasperating but easily determined question 01 street etl quette 1b here requested: 'What would you consider the, wisest count to pursue In the following case: If a ruffian makes offensive remarks a boat a lady, either on the street or in a publio convey. anca. what should the gentleman do who 1 carting her at the time? Such an Incident happened only last week and was published in The Sun. This question came up In our club, and every member has a different opinion on the subject, tome advocating violence and others believing indifference to be best under the circumstances. If our friend will apply to this incident the treatment which would have followed it in the days of historic chivalry, he will perhaps be readier to accept the method prescribed by the circumstances of civiliza tion. In days of old, when knights were bold, if an mult had been aimed at the lady with wnom one of them was keeping com pnny, the moment after the rude man's words bad left bis mouth a sword would hare been found sticking out from behind his bock. Such was the penalty inflicted for such an outrage in those days. In the face of this bercic practice bow puny, how hope lessly Impotentand Insufficient, would seem simple smash npon the smeller, delivered from a manlv arm however troodl It ia this phase of social progress that has helped to strengthen the feeling of aversion with , which modern manners are inclined to put way brawling und roughness from sight, and especially fiom the eyes of women. Even in very recent times, when duels were in good standing, if a man should insult a woman in another's presence he would be more liable to be called upon to nppcar at tome distant place and fight for his life than tohure to tako a licking on the spot. So of the case cited nbove. A light is something which a lady should not be forced to witness. It is better that she should neither see it nor be concerned with It. Any but an extreme insult by a street ruffian Is beneath the notice of a liuly and gentleman. It need not be understood to apply to them. They are under no obliga tion to bear it, any more than if it were ad dressed to some other party. They are be yond the reach of Its evil breath, and so well established is the popular feeling that women walk encircled with a safeguard against this sort of brutality, that, delicate as it is in nature, it is well nigh insur mountable. And It not only protects also woman's escort, but it constrains him equally to remain within iU lines by her tide. Under any but most unusual circum stances It Is imperative tor the gentleman, out of respect for the lady, to curb his nat ural manly impulse and to continue In teeming ignorance of offense. But this rule of course is amenable to Judgment. It Is conceivable that a Indian's vileness of con duct may paw beyond the line of endur ance, and then to the whaling he should get on the spot there is no limitation laid down in the pages of etiquette or human! ty. ew York Bun. COURTING BY WIRE. A SON'S WISH. Mother, In tht lonely ways Of home land whence 1 same, vVhere you walk tht world apart, Without fear and without lilama, Keep me ever In thine eye. As the hllla their morning star. Though I paw into Hi day. Whore my toiling fellows art, Keop me ever In thy heart. With the old remembered things, Till fur me there be no mora April whon the robin sings. Keep me ever in thy prayers. That at iiililuliiht or at noon, When Ood needs a man in haatt, He may not fonret thy win. lilies Carman iu Voulh's Companion. MY AUNT'S EARRINGS. Detective stories huve always boon my favorite form of literature I have read many and have guliied from them a thorough contempt for probability and the police. The llrst thing yon should do when a crime has been committed, ac I often suid to Undo Pofrklns, is to sus pect tlio most unlikely uiuu us being the criminal.' That was the course I adopted whon Aunt Poffkiiis' earrings were stolon. It ws in the morning when the theft was discovered. Aunt caino down late and ran into the room whore Undo Poffkins, Dora and I wore breakfasting. My aunt bore truces of stronff au'itution. and the ma Man ausnea over tne ncuer, dui was na(j forgotten her cap. Duenchanud oa sight, "ily eurrings!" she cried. "They are A telegraph operator in a Boston office I gonotlioy are stolonl" once met with bitter disappointment i nQod bless my soul!" exclaimed Uncle early In his career by fulling in love with I tm,i,. .immiimr hia tnHit hhmi a young woman at the other end of one hcen ghot aud it,ttping np wjth a yon 0f pain. He said the yell was attributed to of the old Western Union wires. She used to say sweet little nothings when a ,, heat of the to0i which was trickling lull in the business gave her an oppor- down hIg jegs tunity to use the wire. The young man , Xf ,.nt 'itnj on,,, Min(,. .B I..1 I. 11.. Tl i. rtl 1 1 iLe - woraeu m uie oobvou uukwmiu uau iu fc ( wrappej in cotton wool in tt jewel reputation of being a "fly' sender and Qn hcr dre8oing tuWo. The ix was able to receive what he could send, an all neyer lockedi and tw) hou8eraaid httd ao. important factor in the "sizingup" of an . in rmim Tha i-i iin, nll, m .1.-1 --- - r ' uiu,r. im. "umau M iruuu WU.. been in the house a week and was known him say even "Gm" or ''Oe" (good morn- tQ hay9 a My aunt and C0UKin at Ingorgood evening) to her, and the other onceconcIudodgh9 was the thief andsont Bir uu iin wue, iiu wuuui uo UOv for a p0ijCCronn, who searched her trunk condescended to exchange even these or- - . d notllill cf courgo. i uid mnary salutations, were jealous, as lime have told them that. wore on tneir conversations over tne wire .,t,ii t m vru became longer and more freiiuent. Fi-1 Poffkills UeWtt8 the one person who nallyan invitation to come to Boston and ,, , ,, ,,, .t,,nv, i .tni. Tisn one m tue tueaicrs was given anu . B.irrinL tra wna Vflrv accepted. The Lothario of the wire was . .(,lU ,tm,.w du, .cu, .cu 1U .u mo .., nni(ltf : 1.1. movomcnts. white straw hat, with a blue band; she mu , ' nllI(1 ha. . , Moreover, was to carry a small satchel of peculiar shape in one hand and a fluffy lace hand kerchief in the other. The train arrived at the eastern sta tion on time, and the satchel of peculiar design was sighted. It was indeed a pe culiar design. It was an old fashioned carpetbag of a grayish green color and my aunt would have given him the ear rings at any moment if be had asked lor them. Evidently he was the lust man to attract suspicion. Accordingly I watched Uncle Poffkins closely. We passed a week of excitement. The police were running out and in. Dora cross examined the housemaid incessant ly. Aunt Poffkins went abroad weeping 1.1 l .11 i . r .1.1 1 J "77""" uoB1pDB- an(lreIllimiillg every one she met that bet. The girl wi a sight that won d tho eiirrings were a present from Uncle have made Neil Burgess in the '"County poffkin8 fn th(J of th(jir Fair" go and hide. She was fully 48 . years old. Long corkscrew curls of a, M fa tf tQ past era bung down over her shoulders , themotter and went so fur as like twists of molasses candy, and a smile ..., t..)i,oi n,. loomed up under the eaves of her sun- . n u .i 1 1 An Anecdote of Pope Leo. While uuuelo at the Belgian court, Leo heard much of Queen Victoria, niece of King Leopold, and before he left Belgium to go to f erogla be paid a visit of a month to London. There he strolled In the park and up and down the streets and made a careful study of English life. He was es pecial ly fond of passing an hour or two in the distinguished strangers' gallery of the House or commons and greatly admired the oratory of U'Connell. He used also to fre quent the print shops of I'all Mall and was wont to speak of the days he spent in Eng land's capital to visitors from Britain, lie knew a little English then, and in Brussels often visited an English family to "do con vernation," but whut be learned thereof the language was apparently forgotten during nis later years. While at Brussels ho was a frequent guest at tne bouse ot Charles Lever, the novelist. and there he often met Dr. Whately, the rroiestani archbishop or Dublin. They were great friends and delighted to argue on mtittira th?nloglcul. Many stories of the uuucio s wit stlii survive about the Belgian court. On one occasion a certain marquis suowea tne nuncio a snuffbox ou which wo painted a very lovely Venus. The mar- qula thought his action decidedly humor ous, and when the nuncio hud partaken of tne contents or the box and banded it back asked his opinion of the picture. "It is most charming," was the reply, "and is it a portrait of inmlame the marqulsef " A Mistaken Idea. She was reading over the column of marriage notices. "It can't be true," sheBaid, "that mar riage is a lottery." 'And why not?" asked the young man with her. "Because there is a law against adver tising lotteries, and look at this," Bhe re plied, bandiug the paper to him. De troit Free Press. A Time Killer. Ed What do you do to pass away the time? Ned Easy enough. I juBt give my promissory note to some one for 80 days, and the time passes quickly enough, I assure yon. London Quiver. Something She Would Stop At, "I don't believe that horrid Miss Bol ton would stop at anything. " Bob Did yon ever try her with t oda fountain? Chicago Inter Ocean. bonnet that would have done credit to a fissure in the side of Vesuvius. She was extremely glad to see him, and he, with the instinct of a true gen tleman, tried to appear that he was just as glad to see her. He took her carpet bag, and they boarded a car for the bouse where he was staying. There were sly nudges and covert laughs at the tea table, all the girls and young men thinking the young operator was entertaining his aunt from the country. For the evening performance at the the ater the giddy maiden fished out an aw ful bonnet from the deptlm of her car petbag and slicked tip her curls in the moBt approved fashion. The bonnet was a flower garden in itself, and the writer has the young man's own word for it that she and the bonnet attracted more attention than the play. The next duy be sent her home, but ever after he wus careful not to allow himself to converse with any one on the wire except on business. Donahoe's Magazine. Antiquity of the Alphabet. According to Philippe Berger'g book entitled "llistoire de l'Ecntus duns l'An- tiquito," the alphabet was invented about 1500 B. C, that invented by the Phoe nicians being without doubt the oldest of all the forms of expressing thought or sounds by character. Originally it and all other alphabets were simply a genes ot Hieroglyphics or picture char acters, the idea of an elephant or an ox being expressed by rude sketches of such animals, abbreviations being in the form of a puir of tusks, horns, eto. Pro feasor Auer (Bee Vienna edition of his "Sprachalle," 18-10) says that, taking both the ancient and modern alphabets Into account, as many as 400 different sets of characters, hieroglyphics and let ters may be enumerated, that these are all outgrowths of the Phoenician mode of mutely expressing thought or sound, and that if we should set aside slight variations of form the grand to tal of 400 alphabets would dwindle im mediately to less than SO. The best oriental scholars have (riven it as their opinion that the original Phoe nician alphubet was composed of but 16 characters, yet it is known that it con tained at least 21 and probably 23 at the time when it was adopted by the Greeks. Why or by whom these extra characters were invented, or why such an addition was necessary, has never been explained, St. Louis Republic. Taste has lost lives. In former years people wouldn't take Cod-liver Oil on account of Its bad taste. Now we have Scott's Emulsion the Cream of Cod-liver Oil, which Is palatable and easier on the digestive organs than plain oil, besides being more effective. Physicians, the world over, endorse it Da'. Ii deceirel bj Substitute.! s brSoett . . T. AllDratneta Whistling Jack. Jack McCarthy is familiarly known wherever he goes as "Whistling Jock." The prefix to Jack is tacked on him 10 minutes after he lands at any city, and he has been in every town of over 10,000 in habitants in the United States. Jack can hardly be called a boy now. He is 23 or 21 years old. He made his first appear ance in Pittsburg about 10 years ago, a thin, nervous little chap, who stuttered to distressingly that the charitably in clined willingly gave him the price of a paper rather than hear his pitiful at tempts to cry his wares. Somebody told him one day that if he would whis tle when be came to a word that he found unpronounceable he would soon cure himself of his painful stutter. Jack tried it, and in less than six mouths the whis tle was as fixed a habit as the stutter ing. At the end of a year be could no more speak a dozen words without 11 whistles than he could fly, and this was the way he got the sobriquet of "Whis tling Jack." New York Mail and Ex- Cress. he could put me off the scent by that clumsy maneuver. I never left him alono. I trucked him to the city, hung about all the morning, shadowed biin when he went to lunch, when he re tamed, when he crossed over to tho ex change. Unknown to him I was on his bus inside if he rodo on the top, and on top when it rained and he stowed himself away inside. Ho never escaped me ex cept when ho was in his office. At lust, after 10 days' weary chasing, I was re warded. I need not say that tho police had discovered nothing. The house was still topsy turvy and my aunt subject to intermittent hysterics. That wronged creature, the house maid, did her work with a mop in one hand and in the other a handkerchief, wet with innocent tears. But to return to Uncle Poffkins. The tonth day after the earrings hud disappeared, as he was brushing his hat before leaving the house and looking at my aunt's tear bedowed visago, his conscience smote him, and he so far forgot himself as to exclaim audibly; "I'm blamed if I can stand this any longer!" The folly of the man was in credible. I had him now I In an instant I was after him. Ho took bus, I took a cab, and we started for the city. Now came the odd thing Uncle Poffkins disappeared. How it happened I do not know, but when the bus pulled up to the bank Uncle Poffkins was not to be seen. I questioned the conductor, but he had evidently been bribed and told me very rudely that he had something better to do than answer my riddles. He drove on, and I was left for the first time at fault. It was evening before I saw Uncle Poffkins. I was going home in a very disconsolate state, when, about 200 yards from our gate, I eHpied him ahead of me. Quickening my pace, I stealthily ap prouched him, He opened the gnto and passed in; noiselessly I followed him. A little further on, sheltered by the shrubbery, he stopped, and after a ateiilthy glance toward the houso took from his coat pocket a small morocco case. 1 stood on tiptoe just behind, and with mingled horror and satisfaction as looked over his shoulder I saw the I was right. earrings. Then guzing lit the pair In his band to the other pair on the ground he ejaculated softly, and to my ears at least mysteriously! "Thine earrings iu my 'and wot found in your drawer, young mutt, wrapped in cotton wool. 'Ow do you ar-couut for that?" "Those on the ground," I retorted, "were found iu Air. i'oiTkius' pocket, now do you account for that?" Bo shook his head tadly. Then lie suddenly bright ened up. Ho hud an idea. He produced another pair of hundcuffs, clupiwd them on my uncle's hund aud cried cheer fully! "We cant be wrong now. can wo? March I" So Uncle PofTklnt and 1 marched, the policeman between us, with a hold on each of our collars, and in this predicament we were presented to Aunt lWkins, to Dora and to the housemaid. The housemaid giggled con suiuodly, for which, under tho circum stances, one could hardly blame her. Aunt Poffkins experienced a relapse, and Dora alone was equal to the situa tion. She mado us sit dowu and gave us each a gloss of sherry. Then the re criminations began. Undo Poffkins de clared Ids earrings wero not the stolen puir. Distressed at my auut't sorrow, ho hod gone to the jeweler's and bought her a similar pair. They cost 80 guiu eus. The struggle I had witnessed was between love and economy, not honesty and crime. I sworo that tho earrings found in my bureau had not been placed there by mo. "And you are both quite right," said Dora. "Uncle's earrings are not the stolon ones. Tom, do you remember hav ing tho toothache'" It wus clear to me in a moment. I had asked for cotton wool, and hud been directed to my aunt's jewel box and from it grubbed a large handful and carried it to my room. Then on reflection I hud tried brandy instead of laudanum, and th- :otton wool was thrust into the drawer. The earrings hud been buried in tho cotton wool. "So you were the thief yoursolfl" laughed Dora. It was true. If only I had strictly followed out whut my reading had taught mot For, improbable as it was that 1 should think Uncle Poffkins guilty, it would huve been still more improbublo had I fixed the crimo on myself. 1 lucked the full courago of my principles, and the result is Undo Poffkins and I do not speak. St. James Budget. THCV MAVt STRANGE GODS. Koreans Worship Ancestral Splrlte and Malta aWwrlfloe to Demons. In Keren a good deal of attention In re ligion it paid to tho worship of anwxtral spirits, aud ancrllltrs are inadu to demons who piny ttar roles. One ot thesu spirit it said to take up Its nhode In an axrturo made by nailing two plea of walnut hoard together without causing them to meet. Till Is called an ancestral tuhle and It ofUin to del Had at to hovo a temple built for Itt reception. At other timet it hat a separate room In a house, or again Is carefully laid aside In a quiet nook. A aoooiid spirit "goes bank" to the on ccstorH, aud tho eldest ton of tho deceased dutifully propitiates tho demons by sacri The Injustice of Dower Distribution. The injustice to woman in the com mon law rule of distribution of dower when reul estate is turned into money for division among heirs was recently painfully impressed in a Michigan case. A couple had started in life 23 years ago, having very limited means. The wife was the more robust physically and al ways of essential support to the husband in his business cures, besides discharg ing with ability and devotion her duties mother and homemuker. They pos sessed a competence at the husband's death. The widow and two minor chil dren survived. They wished to sell a piece of land that had been entirely un productive up to the death, but ut that time there was an inquiry to purchase. To enable a sale of this land out of the intestate estute the probate court expense was $-0, or only $10 less than the share allotted to the widow on tho basis of her probable life yet to be, while each of the minor children, quite incompetent to handlo money in business, received 193, or three and a quarter times us much as tho mother, a prudent business woman. Woman's Tribune. 8ACKIK1CK TO A DEMON. flclng for its pence, and a third spirit Is In like manner waited upon by this dutiful scion lest by any means tho demons should disturb Its peace In tho gravo. Ho may bo to dutiful tin to build a hut besldo tho gravo on tho mountain sldo In order to he ablo to offer morning and evening sac rifices to tho demons fur the benefit of the spirit remaining In tho body. These sac rifices are continued three years In tho onuo of tho father nnd one year for tho mother. Tho son's olothlngwhllo performing these rites Is of coarse seaweed cloth and girdle and reminds ono of tho Scriptural sack cloth. Tho meat offering that ha brings Is tho best food that ho can afford. It con sists usually of boiled rice, raw cnbbago and turnips, sliced, In strong brine, fish nnd fruit. Tho drink offering Is imtlvo liquor mado of wheat and is highly In toxicating. There are variotles of liquor in Korea. Moreover, tho drinks may bo made on tho premises while you wuit, for each liquor shop has its distillery. The Koreans aro an Imaginative race. Tho tlino between tho sacrhlclal cere monies Is taken up In searching the hills for a propitious slto for burial, and the hills themselves becomo dragons, spirits and ghosts, to gain whose favor is tho do- sire of every heart, for in that way alone can they liopo for earthly prosperity, Praying to tho mountain spirits and wor shiping every hilltop is tho outgrowth of ancestral reverence. Shrines or spirit trees aro ut every mountain pass, and trnvolors bow and mako a trivial offering to thorn. TATTOO THE WEDDING RING. A Ilrltlsh Racial Reformer f UffetU Brand ing Both Bride and Groom. Drar Sir I wish in all earnestness to make known a suggestion that would tave many a broken heart among tht sensitive and many a broach of promise case among the mercantile, and'would considerably lighten the labors of the police courts and law courts. My sug gestion is that every married man and every married woman should have cir- lle tattooed around the third finger of the left hand in place of or as well the wedding ring, This would be a sign that could never be taken off or effaced and would therefore leave a lesser mar gin for the treacheries and tricks of biga mists and other great and small offenses against luw, society and individuals, To make this proposition practical and distinctive, of course cor tain rules would have to be mado. For instance, any un married mun or woman tattooing their third finger to be heavily fined. Every widow and widower to add a distin guishing mark to thoir ring. Every married man or woman disunited by law to have a bur of erasure across their wedding ring, and those who marry two or three times to add the extra circles accordingly. The operation of tattooing eould with all reverence be performed by an ex pert in the vestry after the church serv ice, or ut the registrar's office for those who only go through the civil ceremony, This tattooing may seem a return to barbarism, but our much vaunted civ ilization has introduced Btich numerous aids to deceit that a safeguard and a warning, such as a tattooed wedding ring, would become a practical prevent ive of much sham, folly and wrong. Unly those who have sympathy for un lawful liberty will demur against the idea being realized. I shall be pleased to hear from all who approve of my schemo and are willing to assist in form ing a society to influence others in bring ing about a custom that would help to insure peace, respect and happiness to many homes and hearts. Yours faith fully, B. T. Knollys. Letter to Pull Mull Gazette. Kovel Anchors. The British steamer Buwnmoro now discharging coal at Mission No. 2, has a novelty aboard in the shape of astockless anchor. In fact, she has two of them, and they are hauled up "chock a block" to the hawse holes in a way to make a sailor feel like kicking himself for all the risks he has run in the way of catting and fishing anchors in yeurs gone by. The anchor bus no stock and no flukes. It consists of a heavy semicircular mass of metal fastened directly to the chain and furnished with two attachments very similar to the old tune flukes, but twisted like the flanges of a scrow propeller. The anchor can be let go and grounded inside of 10 seconds and hoisted in jess than half a minuto. It will take hold of the hard est bottom, nnd the anchors, starboard and port, will keep a ship in position in the worst weather. San Francisco Cull. Distance Traveled by Odors. As an illustration of tho distance odors are carried it is noteworthy that the fumes and exhalations from the sulphur springs of Colorado can be distinguished at a distance of fully SO miles. The de licious perfume of the forests of Ceylon is carried by the wind 25 miles out to sea, whilo in foggy weather travelers 100 miles from the laud have recognized their proximity to the coast of Columbia by the sweet smoll brought them on a breeze from the shore. Exchange. No Offense. A boy was once brought before "Old Steady" Baker, the mayor of Folkestone, for stealing gooseberries. Baker turned over Burn's "Justice," but not being able to find the article he wanted in the book, which is alphabetically arranged, lie lift ed up his spectacles and addressed the earrings! I was right. Uncle Poffkins culprit thus: "My lad, it's very luckv for eighod. you that, instead of stealing gooseber- Shall I give 'em to herornotr he rios, you were not brought here for steal- said to himself. "It's rank waste. Still, inga goose. There is a statute acainst it will keep her quiet." 1 watched the stealing geese, but I can't find anything struggle between his good and his evil about gooseberries iu all Burn, so let the angel. Clearly the good angel had tri- prisoner be discharged, for I suppose it is umphed so tar as to bring tne earrings ao offense." San Francisco Argonaut, within ou yards of Aunt I'ottkms, but Five Hundred Illral Divorces. The supremo oourt of Oklahoma has de cided that under the present statutes of the territory probnto judges had no authority to grant divorces, and that all divorces granted by any probate judge in tho ter ritory Bince Aug. 14, 1X03, wore null and void. This decision Is a furreachlng ono and will causo a sensation all over tho country, for within the specified time fully 600 divorces hnvo been granted In tho ter ritory by probate judges. A largo majority of the persons so divorced have since re married. They came from ovory state in tho Union to tako advantage of Oklaho ma s literal divorco enactments and are now loft in a queer predicament. They will at once appeal tho case, to tho su premo court of tho United states and at- tonipt to get tho territorial supreme court decision reversed. The decision does not affect the divorce lnw of the torritory in any way beyond tho fact that all divorces must be granted by tho district courts. A Girl's Daring- Feat, There aro not many girls who would dure leap from a yacht under sail in mid ocean, or, what was practically tho same. to a rocking bell buoy anchored five milos from shore. But this was a daring feat performed by Miss Laura Warwick, a maid on not yet 20 years old and a protty girl. She is not a very largo girl, but sho has spirit, and when in a tone of banter Wil now came the tug of war. It was severe, and it ended in tho victory of evil. Undo Poffkins, shutting the case with a snap, exclaimed: "It's all blamed nonsensel I'll take 'em back to Abraham tomorrow." Abra ham no doubt was the receiver, for my undo went on in a satisfied tone: He'll make no trouble about taking em." He was putting the case into his pockot when my feeling overcome mo. Respect for one s elderly relatives is a praiseworthy feeling, but it must not be Washington Wit. There are people who persist In not liking John S. Sargent's portrait of ex-Speaker Reed which hangs iu the lobby of the house of representatives. Mr. Heed is personally more than pleased, being quite willing to go down to posterity as Sargent painted him. Representative Bingham of Pennsyl vania does not sympathize with Mr. Heed's opinion, and wreaked himself one day on that portrait in a manner worthy of hit wit. "It ia becoming a serious embarrassment to know where I am at," aaid Mr. Keed, apropos of the name applied to him by hit Democratic friends. "One orator arraigns me as Julius Cirsar, another at Nero, and, while endeavoring to discover my idenity, I am atill further confused by being lik ened onto Caligula." "At leant there's one comparison you'll be spared," interjected Mr. Bingham. "Wbat't that?" axked Mr. Keed. "You'll never be compared with your portrsitr-Katt Fields Washington. allowed to override higher duties. 1 flung myself on Uncle Poffkins, crying: "Surrender! You cannot escape me!" My uncle fell heavily on the gravel path. I fell heavily on the top of him and pin ioned his arms to the ground. "Tom!" he exclaimed, "whot the mis chiefare you drunk?" "It is useless, sir," I began, "to affect ign" I had reached this point when 1 was violently collared from behind, lift ed bodily off my uncle's chest, where 1 had been sitting, and was deposited on a grass plut, while a deep voice said in my ran: "Now, then, young man, turn it up. You're a lively un, you are. Fnrst yer aunt and now yer uncle." The new comer was a policeman. From his pocket be produced a pair of handcuffs and put them on my unresisting wrists. Then I found my voice. "What ore yon handcuffing tne for?' I demanded. "There's the thief." "Gammon!" said he, grinning. "Why, you fool, there's the property,' said L He looked and taw the earrings lying on the ground by I'm le Poffkins. An expression of bewilderment over- Too Tultry, "Mr. Superintendent, I have come to report that last night as I was going home somebody fired a pistol at mo, the bull of which went right through my hat here. "Is that all? You can come again whel the bullet has gone through your head. Before then I urn not iu a position to deal with the matter." Uik. Welshmen In tlie l ulled Slutes. " ulcs, ' gfiysa western Welshman, "has given three presidents to the United States Jefferson, Adams and Monroe. Thomas Jefferson was pure Welsh, too, and the Welshmen of New York nre now organizing a movement to erect a grand monument to him. There nre 5,000,000 Welsh and their immediate deseudants in this country, and over 1,200,000 pure Welsh nnd their first de scendants. The Welsh, Irish and Scotch are, in my opinion, all offshoots of the lit tle band of Aryans that passed over from Lit tle Brittany aud settled on what are now the British isles." New York Tribune. Too Familiar. A pretty young southern bride said the other day: "You can't imagine how dis gusted mamma was the first time she heard me call my husband 'Charlie.' I had not thought of it before, but she always addresses papa at full length, title and all I asked her if she bad never used his Chri tian name. She drew herself up Htid an swered with dignity, 'I could never have been so presuming.' "New Y'ork Timet. Fires and Insurance In Louilon. The fires iu the metropolis of London in 1S1 numbered S.SK, of which UW were seri ous. Ine lives lost numbered 61, 81 of these having been taken out alive. The total cost of the brigrule was jtl'J0,?a. or 6 pence per neail or tne population. The Are insurance comnaniea mntrkimti e-? icm spread the officer's face at groping again i Property waa insured for no leas a sum Ml WI POCkStj QJ druUUI Una lWr than tsoe.OOO.OUJ.-FaU Moll 0 alette. MISS WAHWICK STANDING ON THE BELL BUOY. linra Wesoont, n member of the Corinthian fleet of Atlantic, with whom sho was out sailing, dared her, she mounted tho prow of tho boat, nnd as it went gliding by the big buoy, which wns moving in unison with tho riso nnd fall of the sea, sho leaped upon tho moving platform. It wns a during act, whether sho had confidence In her companion's nbility to porform tho sorvlce of rescuo or not in the ovont of n miscalculation of tho distance. Whilo sho clung to the buoy, rocking like a cradle, her companion put away, and when at a sufficient distnnco he produced his camera and snapped it. Tho photo graph has only had a limited circulation among "her immedinto friends, but wher- ovcr it was shown It called forth but a sln glo exclamation, "How did sho duro do It!" The bell buoy is anchored at the mouth of tho inlet, five miles from land. An Umbrella. "Show me on umbrella," says a manu facturer, "that has holes worn in the silk about the ring at the top, while the body of the material is still intuct throughout, and I will show you the owner of an um brella who doesn't deserve to own one. if it is a good one. Aud show me an um brella that has holes in along the ribs be fore natural use of it should make them come there, and I will show you an own er who carries his umbrella more for the sake of appearance than for utility." A wet umbrella placed handle down drips the moisture from it at the edges of the frame, and the material with which it is covered dries evenly and leaves no spot still soaked with water. If the handle is upward, the water runs down to one spot ut the top, where the strong cloth lining about the ring holds a good deal of it and in a comparatively short time rots the material, and it breaks easily. The man who carries his umbrella swathed iu its cose when it is not called into use by ruin will soon find it wearing out from top to bottom. This is because of constant friction be tween the cuse and the silk, and no mat- tor of how good quality it may be the holes will appear in it long before they should, and the provider of the umbrella will of course be blamed for selling in ferior or damaged goods. There are many people so ignorant of the proper treatment of an umbrella that they will actuully roll it up when wet and leave it to rot and mold until the next time they want it fer use. New York World, NKVKH TOO LATI OB TOO IOON, There it more lost in lift from putting oil' from to-day till to-morrow what might be done on tbt lnttant than from any other cause. Fortune and fame have been thus wrecked, tnd In minor things It will not do to deity snd trifle. A man hobbling on erutohet for the rest of hit life, caused by sprain, would have been swell, sound man, out of misery, if ba bad used Ut. Jacobs Oil when tht mishap occurred. It It never too toon to get it: never too late to ute It, The great remedy for pain never tarriet it will do itt work in ten minutes if it it al lowed to do so. Treat pain at you would a mosquito unoox it out at toon at it bites. Caller-I wonder If I can sue your mother, HUB DUVT I SUV BUEHIfl-U I L.IIL1B DOV JLI1- anna i naicner (iviu' usr not t marriea. KIDNKY TltOUBLK. Some most exoruclating pain comet from derangement of the kidneyt. This it the testimony Senator Henry 0. Nelten of New York at to the value of Allcocx'i Pobodi Plasties in such cases i "On the 27th of Februarv. 1WU. T taken with a violent pain in the region of . i. i. : .1 t ji' " i . .. .. kuo siuiirve. l auiiBrtHi sunn airnnv iiirt. i could hardly stand up. As soon as possible i Bjuieu iwu abi.couK'i rosout tUASTIRfl, one over each kidney, and lay down. In tn hour, to my turprise and delight, the pain bad vanished, and I wat well. I wore tne plasters for a day or two at a Drecau tlon, and then removed them. I have been using Allcock'i Porous Plastibs in my family for the last ten years, and hive al ways found them the auiokest and bust. remedy for colds, strains and rheumatic affections. From my experience I believe my are me oest piasters in tne world." duakdbith-s riLLt tone up the tyttem Bunco Jim How much rild Pntn fft nn thnta diamonds he stole last nlghtt Hteerer Hub inmyaaji. CKNTUKY MAGAZINE. One of the greatest attractions The Cen. tury Magazine baa ever offered Is the new " Life of Nanoleon." bv Prof. William M Sloane of Princeton, whioh begins in No vember. The author has been engaged upon the work for four years, and has had access to muoh hitherto-unused material. The entire resources of the art denartment of the company will be lavished upon the iiuiBirauons. miring me ooming yeartnere will also be new and notable serial novels by Marion Crawford and Mrs. Burton Har- rfion. Subscription, $4.00 per year. Tui Cintuby Co., Union Square, New York. EVERY PUBLISHER. HOTHERS and those about to become mothers, should know that Dr. Pierce's Fa. vorlte Prescription robs childbirth of its torture, terrors aud (lungers to both mother and child, by aiding Nature in preparing the system lor parturition, Thereby "lalKjr" and also tlie period of confinement are greatly shortened, It also promotes an abundant secretion of nourishment for the child, During pregnancy, it pre ventt "morning sickness" ami those distressing nervous symptoms from which to many sufier. Tan Itt, ColIt Co., Texas. Dr. R. V. Pierck, Duffulo, N. Y. : Dear Sir I took your "Favorite Pre tcriptlon " previous to confinement tnd never did so well In my life. It it only twoweekt since my confinement and I am able to do my work. I feel stronger than I ever did in six weeks before, Yourt truly, A MOTHER'S EXPERIENCE. South Dtnd. Pacific Co., Wash. DR. R. V. Pihrcb, Bumilo, N. Y. : Dear Sir I began taking your "Favor, ite Prescription" the first month of preg nancy, and nave con tinued taking it since confinement. I did not experience the nausea or any of the ailments due to pregnancy, after I began tuking your "Prescription." I wot only in labor a short cl time, and the physician, laid I got along un-.,.,,nii We think it saved me Mr'- a great deal of suffering. I was troubled t great deal with leucorrhea also, aud it bai done a world of good for me. Yours truly, Mrs, W. C. BAKER. WW Every printer, publisher, bookbinder and , those in anv wav connected in the art ore. servative should be subscribers to "Paper ana rress." trice, si.uu per annum. Send remittance with order to Wat. M. Patton, puunsner, rnuaaeipnia, ra. DEAFNESS CANNOT BE CURED PS! lltSO.rOB CASE IT WILL NOT CURE. I The Tornado's Twist. The tornado and the cause of its for mation seem to be less perfectly under stood than even the ever mysterious elec tricity. That a tornado has a violent spiral motion and a distinct ascending movement is well established. The rapid rotary motion tends to form a vacuum in the center of the funnel shaped vol ume, and this sucking force brings abont devastation. When a tornado surrounds a house, the uir inside of it forces the walls asunder instantly. But the inception of a tornado and the causes which lead up to it have not yet been discovered. The scientist tells us that the uir of valleys becomes heated and rises, cold air rushes in to take its place, the wind hits against a hill, is changed in its course and goes cavorting down the valley, and thut makes a tor nado. But whut gives it the twist? And there are no mountains in the Missis sippi valley, but cyclones form there, Weather bureaus, with all their costly, delicate instruments, have never yet satisfactorily explained what gives the tornado its twist. The world is looking for a man who can discover the tornado in its native lair and definitely define, distinguish and describe it. All this is for the benefit of our neighbors of the east, for tlie tornado never visits Cali fornia. San Jose Mercury. The Scenery Shifted. The members of a theatrical com pany, traveling through Lake George on their way to Canada, were commenting upon the grandeur of the scenery when the train enme to a standstill. One of the men, becoming impatient, ventured out, and upon his return was asked the cause of the delay. "Well, "he replied, piece of the scenery bay fallen across t-ie track." Life. 1,1 KE OR DEATH T Married In a Htore. Alonzo Rutbbune nnd Miss Laura Wultman of Orchard, a wealthy young couple, created a Bcnsntlon in Springfield, O., by walking Into a furnishing store on Market street and asking permission to be married there. Rev. Churlcs Stroud, who happened to be passing, wns called in, and the knot was tied. After the ceremony the young couplo selected their household goods and departed supremely happy. The Linen Duster. Tt Is of vital importance Inst it should be un derstood by persons whose kidneys are Inactive Hint this condition ol things Is dually inductive of b slate ot the organs where life hangs in the balanc-. Bright' disense.dliihetes, albuminuria are sll dUeasrs of a very obstinate character in their mature stige,and sll have a fatal tendency. They often be file the most practiced medical skill and the most approved remedies ol mate ria mcdlea. But opiated at the outset tHat Is to say, when the Kidneys begin to dischsrge their function inactively with Hostdtter's Stomach Bitters, the dangerous tendency Is cheeked. Very ntedd also Is this househo'd medicine for those ailments of common ocenr reaee constjpaiion, biliousness, dyspepsia and nervonsnes. It Is a safeguard against malaria, aud averts chronic rheumatism. Jllhnn says the Baconian theory would doubt less Und fewer believers i( there Were not to many h an actors tryii g to do Hhakevpeare. n .. . 1 1 1 1 . u . , - fj .wn, n,iii.,iuiiB. mm kumj muuui rcaru ,iib uiBuuseu portion 01 ineear. mere is omyoue way io care acumens, ana tost is Dy constitu tional remedies. Deafness is caused bv an In. flamed condition of the mucous lining ol the eu-iiacnian moe. nneninia lime is innamea rou Have a rumbling sound or Imuerteet hear- ng. and when it Is entirely closed, deafness Is me resuii, ana unless toe lunammatlon can be taken out and this tube restored to Its normal condition, hearing will be destroyed lorever; which Is nothing but an Inflamed condition of the mucous surfaces. We will glveOne Hundred Dollars for any ease of deafness (caused by catarrh) that cannot be earea oy Mau s catarrh cure, eena lor e.rcu- lam; iree. F. J. UHtNEr or CO., Toledo. O. Sold by druggists; 76 cents. Anagreeable Laxative and NE11VE TON IC. Bold by Druggists or tent by mall, ..60o and 11.00 per package, Samples free. frrt flrt The Favorite TOOTH POTOH Ikw 11 U for the Teeth and Unauh, Xuo. Wm you TRAVEL ? IF Tbt Gmhsa for breakfast. Ote Euameltne Stove Polish; no dust no smell. KNOWLEDGE Brings comfort and improvement and tends to personal enjoyment when riirhtiv used. The man who live bet ter than others ana enjoy lite more, witn 'ess expenditure, by more promptly adapting the world's best products to the needs ot physical being, win attest the value to health of the pure liquid 'axative principles embraced in the remedy, Syrup of Figs. Its excellence is due to its presenting in the form most acceptable and pleas ant to the taste, the refreshing and truly beneficial properties of a perfect lax ative ; ellectualiy cleansing tne system, dispelling colds, headaches and fevers and permanently curing constipation. It has given satisfaction to millions and met with the approval of the medical profession, because it acts on the Kid neys, Liiver ana uoweis witnour, weux- emng them and it is perfectly free from every objectionable substance. Syrup of Figs is for sale by ail drug gists in 50c and $1 bottles, but it is man ufactured by the California Fig Syrup Uo. only, whose name is printed on every package, also the name, Syrup of Figs, and being well informed, you will not accept any substitute if offered. DIRECTIONS for using CREAM BALM. Apply a particle of the Balm weU up into the nostrils. After moment draw strong reath throuah the nose.l Use three times a dav. afterl meals preferred, and before reunng. ELY'S CREAM Opens and cleanses the Nasal Passages, Allays rain ana innammaiion, ueais me Bores, rru tects the Membrane from colds. Restores the Hemes of Taste and Smell. The Balm Is quickly absorbed aud gives relief at once. A particle is applied into each nostril, and Is agreeable, i-uce, ouoenta at uniggisiv or oj mau. ill, dkuthckn, M Warren Street, Mew York. SO, YOU WILL FIND THE BIG FOUR ROUTE THE BEST LINE BAST. 1 VESTIBULE TRAINS. ELEGANT DINING CARS. QUICK. TIME. Ask for Tickets via Big Four Route. e. d. Mccormick, , d. b. martin, Pass. Traffic Manager. Ocn. Pass. A Tkt. Agt, CINCINNATI. W. L. Douglas CI CUfili isTHiacrr. . V JnWbNOHUIAKINa f o. CORDOVAN. FRENCH&ErWMEtlFDCALR 1.i.lnNECAlf&KiaAfJ 99.VP0LICrT,3Sou 2.Li BoriscHOBtSKaESi - - LADIES FWLDOUOLAS, BROCKTON. MAM. Tra eaa save fcr wearlea th W. L. Deaalaa 13.00 Shea. . wv mrm torn largest maanraetorers ai Wis aradeof shoes la the world, and mruiu taiB valua 07 stamping tha aaraa aaa price on tfca bottom, wslaa protest rou against high prices aa4 tha mldalsmaa's profits. Our shoes equal eustoat work la stria, eas fining and woarlng quantise. We have them sold everywhere at lower prloesfer the value glvea than anv othar maka. Tnkm ma mk. aUluta, IX rear daalw eanaot tuyplr 7u, w aaa, YUCCA ROOT SOAP, Miule by n new ? roues s from he famous Yucca or Mexi can Bonn Itoot, Is simply na tures remedy for cl e ti n s i n g and healing, and contains wonderful me dicinal proper ties peculiar to Itself. 1 1 rc movesdandruff, cleans the scalp and wus it In a lotwuiBEais!tMe . aene.'allv heal thy condition, leaving the hair soft aud smooth. Cures all skin diseases, aud removes Btiiins, etc., from the silks and coarsest fabrics. Bcaulliles the complexion and toftens the skin. At ail dnigginls'. or Yucca Koot Hoaf Co.. 1155 Mission street, Ban Francisco, Cal. iDr,MURAT'SfiuLe H'oraM'i Sure Prientl. NeYtrFalU Atmolutelr MaiV. Tbt OrsU French Kuumlv. Purely Vefetibl. MrTloo Teilimoniftls. Mw mc4 U bivk "WftBin'n Frl ",ld coupon fr 1 Box Free. DH. Ml' it AT UEU1C1.NK CO4la k lili, Clnclnnntl, U. BALM GOLDEN WEST Baa no superior, IT'S A BAKING POWDER, LIEU DR. LIEBIG & CO.. Special Doctors for talc, Private and Wasting Diseases. Dr. Lfebitr's Invlvorstor the greatest iVRiedr for Seminal Weakness, Loss of Manhood and Private uineanes, overcomes rrematureDeBs ana prepares ail for mar-nave life's duties, pleasures and reHnon- slbilltles; II trial bottle Klven or sent free to anv one describing symptoms; call or address 400 Gear; o., private euuMii'u wo jubbou Bt.t nq rauciaco. "It is a long time," said a traveling TVlot Tirorl FsOolirtfT an, "since I have seen a linen duster of,lU 11ICU 1 OOlillg man the old fashioned kind, which wrinkled and creased whenever yon sat down in it, especially if the weather was a little damp, and which looked after you had been 100 miles or so in it as though yoo had worn it around the world 17 times, 11 the way by rail, and had sat np in it all the time, bnt alpaca dusters are still worn." New York Sun. An Early Tasta For Art. A well known magazine illustrator de veloped hcr taste for drawing at an early ace, sne was a nasuiui uuw gin, j ffillt " I cordially recom mend Hood's Baraa- parilla to all who may be suffering with in digestion or Impure blood, do appetite. Run Down feeling, or generally out of order. It will surely help any who Rive It a fair trial. If tbera Is any help for them. I have found it of great benefit for Rheumatism. YOU CAN REMOVE SUPERFLUOUS HAIR From Face, Neck and Arms in Ave minutes with MIDKNK, without pain or injury to tha skin. Send stamp for circular. Local agents wanted. NUDhNE MK(J. CO., Room 12, The Ven dome, Portland, Or. MRS. WINSLOW'S 57W - FOP. CHILDREN TEETHING -! sale y all Vnnhla. SaCeauakBttla, refused to talK to visitors out u was w, haT, nted Hood, g...,.,,. often found afterward tna t sne naa occu- haT, no lick headache tpella, paU, 0r tiiwd pled tne nine vi mm aj uj YT A9m nooas5Fuures caricatures of the company on her shite as she sat in hcr isolated corner. New York Times. One of the most important, bnt one of the most difficult, things of a power ful mind is to be its own master. A pond may lie quiet in a plain, but a lake wants mountains to compass ana bold it in. Addison. feeling W. N. Biasgs, Hartlord City. Ind. Hood's Pills give universal satisfaction. LuMS Wit lit 111 Hit llili. ttwh arnip. TaiaeB iou& Car In tlTTia. r.itd r-r cmer I FOR LADIES I IOO TN UOLDwillbe paid by the Koch Chemical Co. for any pate of female weakness that will nt vield to DR. J. 8. KOCH'S AN II SEPT1C SANATIVE POWDER.' P,lc 11.00 per oox. For sale by all drugjiats. S. P. N. TJ. No. 668 -8. i'. K. TJ. No. 645 HOW TO SAVE MONEY. BaT yonr OROCERIES and PROVISIONS of us, and we will save yon money. We handle the best goods and dellrer free to trains or boats. We buy and sell for spot cash, and sell goods ch-apVr than any other firm In the eoontry. Bend ns your name and address, and we will mall yoa our - 11 "- m m .a, awn. ni oner lo-aay : Dry grannlated sugar In UO-lb. sacks lor. 5 60 I Best coal o'l per case .. Portland dour per barrel 2 15 Arbnckle-s ivnVe ner rnand"! '" , Send as a list ol what yon need, and wa will make you special pricea. Address your orders io MARK L. COHN CO., 146 Front Street. Portland, Or. ' WHER DIRT GATHERS, WASTE RULES." GREAT SAVING RESULTS FROM THE USE OF SAPOLIO on MALARIA ! a on? v. Trv tt DO YOU FEEL BAD? DOES VOL'S BACK vheT Does everr tp aeem a bnrden? You n-d moore'S Revealed remedy.