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About St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 4, 1910)
Imply Man Hunt. "I declare!" shouted u bellboy In ono of the big downtown hotels as ho dashed Into the lobby. "1 declare!" he shrieked again, or at lenst It sounded IIUo thnt. An Irascible old Koiitlemnn whoso eardrums wcra Jurred by the shrill screech wheeled about and Blared at the boy. "1 deelarsi" ho piped louder than before. "Well, what's the answer?" demand ed tho old man gruflly. "I declarcl" came tho shrill reply. "Oh. you do, eh?" snorted the old fellow. "Well, why tho deuce don't you?" The bellboy cast n withering glance nt him, gazed scarchlngly nbout tho room and emitted n shrill "Declare!" "Say," exclaimed the old chap, col larlng tho boy, "what tho dickens Is wrong with you, anyway? Are you going crary?" "Naw, 1 ain't goln' crazy," replied the brass buttoned one. "1 got n tele gram for 'om; that's all. Aw, look for ycrselfl" exclaimed the boy disgusted jy as ho Bhoved the yellow envelope under tho old fellow's nose. It was iddressed "1. D. CInlr." "Well, I declare!" gasped tho old man weakly ns ho sanlt Into his scat Pittsburg Gazette. Shew Windows In Austria. The Austrian shopkeeper takes great nrldc In having his window dressed In an attractlvo manner and tho glas.i perfectly clean at nil times, no matter how small tho shop or how smalt tho city. Frequently the greater part of the stock of merchandise Is displayed In tho windows of the smaller shops, It Is much less dllllctilt to mnka at tractlvo displays than In American stores, as windows open outward on hinges. Uven heavy plate glass win dows ten to (If teen feet square are so nrranged and dressed from the street Instead of from the Inside, as In Amer ica. The largo windows nru usually nrranged In the morning before many pedestrians nru on tho street. Tho wnll space between shops Is frequently rented by owners of ndjolnlng stores and arranged to appear like windows, giving the a p pen ran co of being a Inrgu shop. When one wishes to examine nn nrtlclu displayed In u window tho proprietor or clerk goes to tho streot with n key, unlocks tho window and takes out the article, tlion locks bis window again, Tha Onlv Dlffarane. Clorlnda was as black as night and of heroic? nroiiortloiis. but In every ting. slble way she copied her slender young mistress, for wiiitin sue una it great au miration. "I llku tu look Jen' ns much like von ns I can." shu often said. " 'cause you looks Jes' like a lady orter look, Mis' llend'son." Clorlnda Intrusted nil her shopping to Mrs, Ilcndersuu mid scorned tho bright colors and nronounced styles af fected by her own friends. Unu day ho nsUrd her mistress to buy tier n imlr of low shoes. Ah she inatlo the re quest alio glanced with admiration at tho slim little foot showing bcncntli i ho ed it o of ii dainty skirt. "An' I want 'em Job exactly like vours. Mis' llend'son." snld Clorlnda, no dllTenco 'cetitln doy's gotter bo wldo nines, so mnybo do buckln might 'pour better If 'twus it teenty mite Inrgcr'n yours." Youtirs u)mpnnion. Fathar'a M.tliod. During it recent slight Illness tho Ovc-yeur-old Teddy, usuully so uinin lil ilmlv mill iilmtliiutulv refused to tnko his medicine. After n somewhat prolonged and Ineffectual argument wllh hi in IiIh mother nt Inst set the glusN of medlvluv down, loaned her head on tier lunula mill "puiyeii" nun she was crying. A moment imimmihI, and the tender hearted Teddy, unable longer to bear the sight of his mother' stricken attitude, Inquired, "What's ilm mulier. mother, dear?" With out removing her hands from hrr eyes she replied, "I'm grieved that my sou won't take his cantor oil for mo." WhereiiHiii Teddy snt up In IhhI and offered consolingly: "Oh. I wouldn't feel bud If I were you, mother, dear. Father will be home soon, mid he'll inaku mo tube It."-Ueiineator. uunehlna tht Hits. A legal Journal tells u story of nn lllluoU attorney who nrguetl to tho court one utter another it series of very wettk points, none of which seem ed to the court to have any merit until the court tlimlly said. "Mr. . do yon think there Is anything In theso Doluta?" To which the attorney re piled. "Well, Judge, perhnps there Isn't much in any one of them nloue, mil l didn't know but your honor would kind of hunch them." Had Authority. A cbbo was being tried before tho late Lord Young, "Crabbe versus Crab bio." "I may explain, my lud," said tho advocate, "that my client Crabbe is a uephow of our opponent Cntbhle, but a few years ngo be dropped the I in bis uamo for the sake of euphony." "Ah," replied Iml Youug, "he has Hlbllcal authority for thnt-'lf thy "I" offend thee, pluck It out.' "-Westmlii- st or Gazette. Dlffsrsnt Now. They say bis wife was tho lusplra tlon of some of his best plays." "Yes; be produced thorn before bo wis married." Chicago necorU'Uor Id. Stgnlfiesnt. Tom-Do you think your father dis likes mo? Teas-Well, he gave tho dog's chain and muzzle nway yester day. It were endless to dispute upon ev erything that Is dlsputnble.-renn. Arrested a cough that has been hanging on for over two months by taking IJ it lard's Horchound Syrup. If you have a cough, dou't wait stop it ot once with this wonderful remedy. Splendid for coughs, cold on chest, influeuza, bronchitis and pulmou ary troubles. Price 25c, 50c and $1,00. Sold by North Dank Phar macy. Work for a QtnUr St Johns. Spohr and the Violin. Louis Spohr, the greatest of all Ger man violinists and 11 man whose iinme Is otherwise Indelibly written on the pages of musical history, was born at Hrutiswlck on April 5, 1781. Just fifteen days after his great contemporary and rival, Nleolo I'nganlul, Qrst saw tho light of the world. Two greater con trasts than these two men could not be imagined. Pagnnlnl, the brilliant, diizzllug, comcMlkc apparition, over awed tho masses, for whoso favor he made a high bid, while the German, tho serious, dignified, deep artist, ap pealed to tho connoisseurs and cultur ed musicians. Spohr both by precept and example exerted n tremendous In fluence on violin playing and violin composition nnd, In fact, on composi tion In general. The greatest musi cians of bis day stood In nwo of him, nnd oven lllchnrd Wagner, nftcr Spohr had produced "The Flying Dutchman' nt Cnssel In l&l.'l, whero bn was then conductor of the opera, In a letter writ ten to tho grcnt violinist displayed n sense of gratitude of which In Inter years he seemed Incapable. Spohr died at Cassel In 1850. Argonaut. Til For Tst. A newspaper man who called on a local manufacturer tho other day to pay a friendly visit found the latter In no mood for friendly calls. Ho was In n white heat "Whut's the matter?" asked tho via Itor. "You don't scam pleased to sco ma" "Oh, I would be pleased to sco you," snld tho other, "If I wasn't so mighty mnd at the meanest piece of petty holdup I over saw. Merc's a check from a fellow who owed mo n bill for ninety days, and darned If he hasn' mailed the check at last and subtract ed the 2 cents for tho postago stamp that brought tho letter." "Can you bent that?" exclaimed tho visitor as he eyed the check. "I can," snld tho other as ho reached for n telegraph blank. "I am going to wlro him a receipt In full, and I'll wlro It collect" Nowark Call. Suprsms Court Ways. When the supreme court of the Unit ed States assembles nt 12 o'clock on each Monday the room Is tilled with lawyers, clerks, newspaper mru and spectators. Itotitlue announcements nre made by tho chief Justice In a volco no oue can understand. Deci sions or grent moment arc rendered by other Justices In mumbled words which are not heard. Lawyers, clorks, news paper men and spectators stare hard at the honorable Justice who may be talk lug or reading, some with hands curv ed Into n round hoard so that they can catch a few words If possible. Hut no oue In thu courtroom shouts "Louder!" No one would Inst very long If he did, And should n person be sentenced for contempt of tho supremo court It would be thu end. As nn old colored cm ployoo once snld, "Dcro ain't no appeal from dls coto."-Ht. Louis Star. Swallowtd and Cllmbtd. A woman newly rich was Invited to nn aristocratic dinner party. During tho course of fowl nnd salad this wo man noticed with dismay a fat, furry caterpillar on her topmost leaf of lot- luce. Glancing up, she met her aristo cratic hostess' eye. The hostess, too, had seen the caterpillar. Her gitzo Im plored tho guest to save the dinner from catastrophe. The guest gave her hostess a reassuring smile. Then she doublet) n lettuce lenf n round thu cat crplllar and swallowed It calmly. The look of awe and gratitude that her hostess gnvu her was an assurance thnt her footing In society was at lust firmly established. "Did you think." said Mrs. Newly rich to her daughter afterward, "thnt I'd lose n.chitncu of establishing the family soclully for a little thing like a caterpillar?" Spanish Surnames. In addition to three or four Christian names the HimnUli child bears the com blued family names of his father and mother. When the surnnmcs are dou bled or connected by the y, meaning "and," tho llrst Is the more important 0110 nnd the only ono thnt may be Ink en alone, for It Is In the father's name, while tho hist Is In the uame of the mother. In Hpnln they know no "sen lor" and "Junior." Father and sun may bear the same Chrlstlun name, but each takes his own mother's mime us a distinction, the father being, for Instance, I'cdro Dins y Castillo and the son i'cdro Diaz y lllauco. O'Connsll's Bin Htad. Thackeray wus six feet two Inches In height, nud Sir 11. W. Lucy says the grent novelist wore u seven and tlve- elghth Inch hat, beating Dickens and John llrlght by a full half luch. Mr, Gladstone's hut wus of seven and three-eighth luch measurement the same as Macaulay's while Deacons- Held needed a full seven luch. The hut of Daniel O'Conuell, however, would have beaten them all, measuring eight and ouo-hulf Inches by ten inches. Unrsasonabls. She 1 don't see why you should hes itate to marry 011 W.000 a year. I'apa says my gowus never cost more thun thnt. Ho Hut, my dear, we must have something to eat. She (petulantly) Isn't that Just like a man? Always thinking of his stomach, uoston Transcript. Why! When a mother tells ber boy ho Is getting to be Just like hU father be kuows well that It Is not Intended as u compliment In Awful Shap. "Why don't you go to work?" "I'm so dead tired of doing nothing that I'm too tired to do anything." Cleveland Leader, Lame Shoulder. This is a common form of mus cular rheumatism. No iuternal trcatmeut is needed. Apply Cham berlain's Liniment freely three times a day and a quick cure is certain. This liniment has proven specially valuable for muscular and chronic rheumatism. Sold by all good druggists, Preach the gospel ot St Johns. Just Llkt a Woman. A Boston physician wus dcjiriblni; a week's drive that be took last fall through some of the most picturesque districts of New England. "1 saw much that was ineniorabl and heard much that wus worth re membering on this quiet bucolic ex curslon. "I remember an elderly Justice of the peace In a beautiful New Ilamp shlro village near Luke Sunnpee. stayed there all night with this fine, keen old man. He amused me nnd impressed me with bis mordant humor. "During tho evening tho question of the unreasonableness of womnuklnd came up for discussion. 'Ah.' suld the old Justice, 'woman Is unreasonable, very unreasonable Indeed. In fact there Is no living crcnturo so unreason able its woman. I remember that my wife and I wcro talking over our af fairs one day, and wo agreed that it had come to the point where wo must both economize. "'Yes. my dear. I said to my wife, 'wo must both economize bothl' "'Very well, Henry,' sho snld with n tired nlr of submission to an tin pleasant condition, 'you shave yourself, and I'll cut your hair.' " Iloston Post Hymnotoalcal Ineptitude. Tho story of 11 minister who held a religious meeting In n penitentiary and aroused the Iro of tho Inmates by an nounclng ns a hymn that ono begin nlng "Tho dying thief rejoiced to see' Is equaled by the tale of n local preacher whoso church got In debt not long ngo. A congregntlonnl meeting was held for the purpose of extricating It nnd the chairman of the board of dcacoas, or whntever tho financial body was, got up and stated the situation nnd ended by cnlllng for a special col lection to make up the deficit "I suggest that we alng n hymn," ono of the members of tho church sug tested. This Idea was carried out and the number of tbo song was announced. A smllo overspread innny faces, however, when they reached tho line, "When we asunder part It gives us Inward pain." Nevertheless the "sundorlng" process was most successful and wasn't partic ularly painful cither. Loulsvlllo Cou rlcr-Journal. Talltd EnolUhmsn. Natives of southern Arabia bcllcvo that Cbrlstluns wear hats only to bldo their horns. Formerly the continent of P.uropo clung to the conviction that the Kngllshmnu a nether garments con cenled 11 tall. So lato as tho reign of Kdward VI., according to Hale, "an Knglyshmnn cannot travnylo In anoth cr laud by way of marcbandyso or any other honest occupylnge, but It la most contumelious!) thrown Into his tctho that all Hiiglyshincn have talis." The belief probably arose fiuiu tho legend of the "Kuntlsh Longtnlls." The peoplo of cither Canterbury or Htrood (for the legend varies) mocked nt Docket as ho rode by on an ass and cut off tho ass' tatl. Wherefore they and their descendants were cursed with lulls thenceforth. At least so said Jesters of other countries, nnd the slander eventually reacted upon Lug land In general. Another version sub stitutes St Augustine nud Dorsetshire, Cold as Cur. Cold of n certain Intensity produces not only hunger, but, ns It has been proved, health ns well. Ilnoul i'lctet thu famous Swiss chemist, was mak Ing experiments on a degree of cold considerably lower than any which occurs naturally, and ho found thnt at tumperntures between lit) nnd 160 below zero no covering of any kltui would keep cold out, or, more exactly, would keep warmth In, There Is notn Ing surprising about thnt The sur prise Is In the result M. I'lctet Is a geutlemnu who tins suffered greatly from Indigestion. After an oxposuro of several minutes to the cold which he had produced he experienced a sen satlon of hunger which he has de scribed as ravenous. When he had eaten he experienced tione of the tor tures of his ailment, nud when tie nan alternately frozen and eaten three or four times he found himself cutlrcly cured. Loudon Telegraph. Th Qallant Cabman, Nothing perhaps produces quite so much wit from a cabman us n sense of being underpaid, which In must cases means that he lias been Justly paid. A lady who hud been guilty of this kind of Justice experienced tho usual sense or discomfort when her driver straight cued the palm Into which she had Just dropped her shilling nnd looked at dor speechlessly. She was weakly about to add uuother sixpence when the cub by's sense of humor prevailed. He transferred tho shilling to his iwcket and smiled sweetly down at his em- barrassed fare. "Course, missy," ho remarked, "there was the pleasure o' drlvln' you!" London Chronicle. Arundsl CastU. The most singular circumstance about Arundel castle Is that Its owuer, by mere right of ownership. Is Karl of Arundel In the peerage of Etiglaud, It Is believed that there Is no similar ex ample of n peerage held on such condl (Ions. Apimrently ttiere would be uo legal obstacle, were the bouse of How ard to full upon evil days and the cus tie be sold to bo me millionaire, to pre- veut the millionaire taking his Beat In tbo house of lords as Earl of Arundel. London Standard. A Rtfltctlon on Him. "Quarreled on their wedding day? Dreadful! And what about?" "The brldo's girl friends cried too to- clferously to suit tho bridegroom." Ioulsvllle Courier-Journal. To be vain of one's rank or place la to show that one Is below It Stanis laus. A Simple Trick. It's an easy matter to keep your joints ami muscles supple uo mat ter what your age may be or how you have suffered with rheumatism. Rub yourself night and morning with Ballard's Snow Liniment. Cures rheumatism.stiffness. cramps, crick in the back, side, neck or limbs, aud relieves all aches and pains. Sold by North Bank Phar macy, pi-TTrC-nu at rv MiviMf? P nnrv. AT THP MlrfP ROOM PR!r?P VP 1 1 kJ 1 1 Ci I svu . .... FAY YOU TO lAYL .. - COAiFOKTlK Ale) THIS SPRMG. WE Wj4Y. COLLIER & COLLIER Lawyers. Rooms In the Holbrook building, fit. Johns, Oregon. Joseph McChcsney, M. D. PHYSICIAN AND SURQEON Day and Night (Miles In McChetnty Block ST. JOHNS, - - OREQON Phone Jersey 1571 Albert Carey, M. D. Residence and Office: 902 Pcuemlcii Street Office Hours: 100.n1. to 1 p.m.,6to8p.in. ST. JOHNS, OREQON Daniel 0. Webster, A. B. M. D. Residence, 697 Dawson Street Office, I'lltcr Dlock University Park, Portland, Oregon DR. RAMBO DENTIST Office Phone Richmond 51 I'irst National Danic Jlutt-niNO St. Johns, Oregon Dr. W. E. Hartel DENTIST Phone Richmond sot Holbrook block .... St, Johns I'llONIt JliKHltVjll IIOt.IIHOOKllI.OCK DR. J. VINTON SCOTT DENTIST Open Evenings and Sundays by Appoint meat Phone lerey 1571 Hours: a to 6 m St. Johns Piano Schoo Conducted by J. ClllU Will, Cary 002 Fesseudcn St. St. Johns, Ore, GEORGE KIRKPATRICK, M. D. C, Veterinary Surgeon. OFPICH 41 1.3 UNION AVKNUR HOSPITAL 14 " " Phones Katt 4016, 1) 3898 Office Phone Woodlawn 703 Res, Phone Woodlswn 1635 D. E. HOPKINS DUNTIST Office hours from 9 to 13 n. 1 to 5 p. sa. 7 to 8 p. m. 63) Duwton Street, UMlVKftSiTY I'AHK K Common Cold. We claim that if catchine cold could be avoided some of the most dunvrerous aud fatal diseases would never be heard of, A cold olten forms a culture bed for germs of in fectious diseases. Consumption, pneumonia, diphtheria aud scarlet fever, four of the most dangerous aud fatal diseases, are of this class. The culture bed formed by the cold favors the development of the germs of these diseases, that would not otherwise find lodgment. There is ttlle danger, however, of any of these diseases being contracted when a good expectorant cough medicine like Chamberlain's Cough Remedy is used. It cleans out these culture beds that favor the develop ment of the germs of these diseases That is why this remedy has proved so universally successful in preventing pucumonia. It not only cures your cold quickly, but mini mizes the risk ot contracting these dangerous diseases. For sale by all good druggists. Urlng in your Job pruatla while you think of It. Don't wait until you entiroly out. Wa are equipped arc to turn out nat and tasty printing promptly at Portland prices or lets. WE AKL OUR SPRWG GOODS. TNERE I A NE4VY ' "PRICE TRIV Akk THROUGH OUR STOCK OP WINTER GOODS, WE WOULD RATHER CON VERT GOODS IMTO AOrtEY TM7M Tn fMRRYTHPM OVFR YftlF WILT. I 11 vvx wvrvsjw r-i ia trt ir r ntinn 1 . 1 ML HLx UYLrvVLUyi 1 e, nLyiv I (3flULO, Wll Lrv ouiiuwi, n. ., tt-tt r u 11 r -n n r i.rirr crvr rzn jtt dm tti m m? c I M C T I A LI H C BkiAlL I HU 1 ViU. MEED R00A FOR THE BONHAM & CURRIER DR. F, L PETERSEN CHIROPRACTOR Hill Block Comer Williams avenue and Russell strret. Tclchone Hail 485 PORTLAND, OREGON II. 8. HliWITT 15. S. WRIOIIT 504 S. Hayes 31 j Slut St. l-Uwitt & Wright CONTRACTORS AND nUILDURS Hitimatcs and Plans furnished IIOUSKS l'OR SAtK BT. JOHNS, OWIC. J. R. WEIMER Transfer and Storage We drllver your goods to snd from all f arts of Portland, Vancouver, Llunton, 'ortland snd Suburban ltxprcis Co., city dock and all jwlntt accessible by wsgon. Plana and furniture moving a specialty. 109 li. Ilurllugton; phone Richmond 61, LAUREL LODGE No. 186 I. 0. 0. F. ST. JOHNS. OREGON Meets each Monday evening in Odd Fellows hall, at 8:od. Visitors welcomed. W.J. Chancy, N. C, C. r. Gates, Secretary. Holmes Lodge No. 101 KNIUHTS OP PYTHIAS. Meets every Friday night at 7:yo-ciocK at i.u.u.i', hall. Visitors always wel come. 1). 1'. liorsnian, c.c W. A. Storr, K. R. S Doric Lodge No. 132 P. and A. Al. Rcuular comniunicn tious on first and third Wednesdays of each month In Odd Fellows' hall. Visitors welcome IL S. Harr ncton. Allen R. Jobcs, Secretary. W. M CAMP 773 W. 0. W. Meets every Wednesday evening in llickner's Hall. J. A. Cole, C. C. W. Scott Kellogg, Clerk STREET CAR TIME TABLE LP.AVR ST. JOHNS A. M. P. M. P. M. 5.45 J3.40 7.00 6. 05 1. 00 7,10 6.35 1. 18 7.30 6.40 1.36 7.40 6.48 1.54 8.00 6.56 3.13 8,35 7.05 3.30 8.50 7,30 3,50 9.10 7.35 3.o8 930 7. 35 3.36 9.50 8. IS 3.44 !.' 8.33 4.03 10,30 9.00 4,30 10,30 9.33 4.40 11.10 9,44 5.00 ".3 10,06 3. 13 13. 00 10,36 3.30 10,30 S.45 11,13 6,00 II.34 6.30 11,36 6,40 13.18 p.m. 6,50 Central Market! Holbrook Dlock. See us for the Choicest Cuts of the Best Meats Obtainable. Orders Filled and Family Trade Solicited T. P. WARD, Proprietor. NOTICE TO ADVERTISERS. In ersler U Insure a chansje aaV vsrtlsemsnt the copy far such change tieulst reach this net later than WeataeesJayt at e'clsMk p. m. Please remember this and save the printer Subscribe (or tae St. Jobna Review and keep pcated on the doings of the city. MaIa ftaVssBB isassssJ ' tjilia mmmAm UlICIHG R00A FOR .-. w " nr A tt r tier ait -vr e tinn W L LArLv I Bllx 1 ninii IV IACREJlSE OF STOCK THylT IOOOOOOOCH ATTENTION!! Merchants! Manufacturers! Farmers! Evcrybodyl Wc arc hunting for your business and have been on your trail for sonic tune. Our aim is to serve you well. The adoption of our service offers a complete solution to the transportation problem. Our rates arc reasonable and our service unsurpassed. Two trains between St. Johns uud Portland daily. Wc deliver Anything, Any Place, Any Time. Call and get our rates before shipping. PORTLAND & SUBURBAN EXPRESS GO. C. W. STEARNS Agent at St. Johns. Phones: Portland Office, Mniti 358 St. Johns: Jersey laa A 3358 oooo ft FURS WE BUY forapotmih. .letott but lu u uw n nu ior niw w, HUNTERS'&TRAPPKnS'QUIDE Itaul Tiwr' Unnu, Pmn, MMf til UftMf . ll'a . rwUi I f tMUtif.l IU4.. Ouf MHMi. SJ U.4m rvu kl u U4 rf - W "V A. U, HUMST0CK GKO. II, USMST0CK HEMSTOCK BROS. UNDERTAKING AND EMBALMING Full tins of Robss, Caskats, to,, kspt In stook UPV ASSISTANT Office rhont WooJltwa 1871 KcWeucc I hont Woodlswu jio UNIVKRSITV PARK, OHEGOV If you are looking is a sure winner buy half of block 16 at WHITWOOD COURT The piece is 160x600. feet, Lots across the street from it If this piece was cut into lots and then the lots would be be bought for in that neighborhood. In five years $5000 would not beau exorbitant price, IF TAKEN AT ONCE $1800 BUYS IT $500 "down; $500 in six months and the balance at Sio per month f the money was not badly take it. For further information see R. H. BLANDING 1- .IK M V- rtflW OFFFR IT WILL - e l.fl aittrTJ C 1 1 ITM N If ST. JOHAS IS On THE ASjlMtt Overall for every use. Cut generous Ijr full Two hip pockets. Felled scams. Continuous fly. la I si si Mat, tahssias (stonta mon.r for roa la Slp.B 1n u4 Slto to asskSB I sum tupon. wnui nr. ut inou aw SM.SSSS TrMb Bnh lw U4 to VB. a4 to Um, M rTrti ...I. rriM. SI. T. ml , II M SMMftUMtl.to 4 .Knot. alB.lt to II.OOpW Wlfc ilp mat, AmUnakMn, stiCTtl. lBllllilfl.ili. for an investment that lays fine and almost level. are selling at $350 upward. $3000 could easily be realized, much cheaper than any can or. $1500 cash will secure it. needed $3000 cash would not Real Estate Office, Whitwood Court