2HS
AN AMATEUR
, SANTA CLAUS
'I ' . ' -; , .
By
WG hnil all annul Hint Mr
O'KIiuiibiipim was Hi Very
W W oiid lu In- Kama Claus at our
Christum tri.
"No!" b wittl. "Nor
We huil iii'H-r mhhi Mr. CBIiaugnra
ay so vehement Ix'fur.
"Thai la one llilnw I will never do
uo, urn If thv our uf Huulu were ti
CvniiiuiiHl It!"
"WhyT" asked some ot fmin a ante
dUluiKV.
"lUxatine I played I lip pnrt one, ami
1 will uever do II tiuiiln I may aa
well tell yuu about It. aiid thru you'll
know Hint It la uf tin uw to buthur uir
bunt It any more.
"(in Christmas 1 wua broke. I wm
hungry, and uiy feet were on the
linittiul. I liml asked a thousand h.
for aouiotliliiK to do. anything to
"1 WAKT TU4T."
do. mid fliinlly a tiniiiiiitor In a depart
ment stuie mild, 'All rliilit; we'll umke
a Siinlu Clnu out of you.'
"I luld him I didn't fool much like
Bnnta Cluiia Inside.
"Oh, we'll Ox that nil right," he
nld and hauded me a pillow.
"So, with pillows and boots and
glovoa and a fur rout outiilde and
nothing ut all limlde, I tnrtt'd In to
be Simla Cluua In the toy department
While I was thinking about my wife
n nd I ho two kkls at borne needing
money, nml me with no atendy Job,
and other things like that I heard one
of the follows In the atore any to tin
boas:
" 'Sny, thnt St Nloholua of yours
la about as jolly aa a hymn book. He
reminds me of a funny aoiig entitled
"Silver Threads Among the Gold.
Why don't you throw blm out?
" '1 will when I got time.'
"I tried to liven up a little after
bearing tills praise of my histrionic
talent, but It wasn't much use.
"l'retty soon I aaw a boy coming
down the aisle like a wolf on the fold,
lie was also seeking whom be tulght
devour. He was followed by an anx
ious looking nmid and a gentleman In
a silk hut who waa an ludulgent mil
lionaire futher.
"The kid sauntered along tn au Inde
pendent, bored way, swinging his arms
kind of reckless, as If be whs In hopes
of breaking something and relieving
the monotony.
"When ho enme up to whore I waa
sitting be Btoppcd. tie had seen plen
ty of toys, but I guess I was some
thing now In the way of a St. Nlci
oliis. "lie called bis duddy and pointed
to uie.
" '1 want thnt' ue said.
" 'Oh, no, dcnrle." suld the mnld.
'Here, look nt this nice giraffe! 8ee!
It does this!'
"The kid shook the nurso off Irrita
bly. " "Ue doesn't seem to tnke much In
terest lu the giraffe,' I remnrked to the
father.
" 'No. nor anything else.' he answer
ed lu a patient, weary tone. 'Be hns
bnd all these toys before and he
knows all about them. Inside and out.
He bad ouo of these glruffes Inst year
nd broke It open tu Bud out what
V'lJjL-' "''
- - V""''"""" " "n
HAMILTON POPE GALT
Copyright, IRIS, ky Amsrlcan hm Association
was lu It and be was mud when be
found there ss nothing'
" I mint thnt," suld the boy agulu.
pointing to me.
"'lie bus taken a fancy to you," con
tinued thv pa.
"'I cun t im Hint I have any ailvnn
tnite oki the gtruffu.' I suld.
"JusDtheu the boss of the atore came
along. He whs Just busting bluiself
for the millionaire.
"'My boy wants your San til Claus,"
an Id tin gentleuiun to the uoks.
"And the kid JuiukhI up and grab
bed me by the bund and began pull
ing at uie and Unlit Ing the muld off
with the other bund.
"'Welt.' said the boss, 'tnke him
along, Mr. Van Vit-gle, It will be no
loss whatever to us. I assure you."
"Thin reiiiniitieiid seemed to sort of
eurouriiite the millionaire.
"'I will puy you for your time," he
aid to tue.
"As the little fellow was pulling my
arm off I got up and went nlong He
towed tue through the nlle against
tide of ohii 111011111111 people We got
Into a big red autotnohllo. and the mil
lionaire said to the chauffeur, 'Home
aa quirk aa possible, for goodness
sake!'
"Away we went, my white whiskers
flying lu the wind, ,
"Pretty sisiti the millionaire snld to
the chauffeur: 'Look here, you needn't
dlsplny us any more thnu necessary.
Kindly pick out some unlet streets.'
"The kid was sitting next to me,
holding my hand.
"The chauffeur started to slow down
In front of a mansion when the mil
lionaire gave a shout:
" 'Hold on!' he snld. 'Drive on quick!
I forgot Mrs. Vnu Veegle has compa
ny. We'll go around the back way.'
"We were turning the corner to go
around the other way when the mil
lionaire shouted again suddenly, Turn
around quirk!"
"We were dodging eomebody or oth
er that he knew.
"I'iniilly we passed through a big
gate, and the boy towed me around
through a conservatory or two luto
swell room.
"The man swore. There were lot
of ladles there still. They seemed to
take great Interest In the pageant
'"Well, what on earth!' screeched
the millionaire's wife.
"While the man was explaining to
bis wife the boy led me around all
over the house by the baud. He would
not let go.
"He had to have me sit beside him
while he ite his dluner, nnd I had a
"HE TOWED HE THROUGH THE AISLB."
big, fat butler shoving my chnlr nround
for me nnd waiting on me. I got some
birds ami one thing aud another uuder
my pillow aud my furs, but I was aw
ful warm.
"It was too wnrm for comfort when
It got around that there was a real,
live Snnta Clnus at the Van Veegle
bouse. All the children came from
all over the neighborhood to maul me.
"But young Van kept a tight grip on
, it f-"" ':-''
my band and fought Ibem off when
ever they got too near.
"When bedtime cume they tried to
tell little Van that Punty wanted to
go borne now and work on the toys for
Christmas, but be held on tighter than
ever and Insisted that I would have to
sleep wltb dim.
'This miiile It pretty bad. If I was
to pull off my boots sud my beard and
my stomach and one thing and an
other the boy would be paralyzed wltb
TAXtKO SANTA TO SnillKHQAllTKS.
fenr. they snld. and for me to turn In
boots, heard, stomach nnd all with lit
tle Van lu his little bed seemed utter
ly Impossible.
"We compromise! by my sitting by
his bed nnd holding his hand until he
went to sleep. Would you believe It!
That boy wua tbe lightest leeer you
ever saw! Every time 1 tried to take
uiy hand away bis eyes would open
and he would take a tighter grip.
"I sat up all night holding that kid's
hand. 1 bad a miiu lu attendance, who
brought me everything 1 wanted, and
I hud collected a ten from Pupa Van.
but I dldu't get much sleep.
"The boy bad me with him all the
next day. 1 bud to be with him when
ho got his tiatu aud his breakfast, aud
1 attended kindergarten with blm.
"I was 'It' ut kindergarten, too, but
along about 4 o'clock he lay down on
a couch aud went sound asleep.
"1 stole from tbe room softly and un
observed. I bud hud enough of tbe
Job and was resolved to escape.
"Just as 1 was getting out of the
front door a good sized boy came along
and started to blub something about
'Hello, Santa Claus!' aud tried to grab
hold of me.
"I paralysed him by pulling out my
stomach and blttiug blm over tbe bead
wltb It
"1 gained the street and flow for
home, dodging this way and that to
ballle pursuit aud shedding beard,
boots, cotton and fur all along tbe
way.
"I bid for three days and then emerg
ed and got a nice little Job loading conl
on a abtp. 1 have always gone in for
a sane Christmas ever since that little
experience."
We did not press Mr. O'Shaugnessy.
Conosrnlng Christmai Presents.
A mau niuy not be so badly off for
presents if he only has presence of
mind.
The question of the hour Is, "What
on earth shall we buy for a Christ
mas present?"
Never look a gift horse In the teeth.
It is also wrong to look a Christmas
present In the price mark.
"What shall 1 give the hired girl?"
Is a Christinas conundrum that puz
zles some. , Give her taut week's pay
and get another girl.
The proprietor of a big hotel may
love his patrons' children; but he nev
er gives the youngsters drums or
horns at Christmas. N. B.-Or any
other day.
b
X. t-J-
it 'i tvl "
ST.'. l V"-. ?'-JSTk.
The finest stockings
the neatest socks
And every pair guar
anteed to wear for
six months or new
hose free.
EVERY box of Hole
proof contains a defi
nite, printed guaran
tee with a coupon fur
each pair.
Six pair of cotton Hole
proof for men, women
nd children are guaran
teed to wear six months
without a hole. ,
Three pain of iillc Hole
proof fur men and women
are guaranteed to wear
three months without a
hole.
If any pair fail, send
them back and the man-
ufacturen will gladly and promptly tend you new pairs in
exchange. Even the gauzy, summer weights are guaranteed.
Yet, most people buy Holeproof for their style, perfect fit
and fine appearance.
Holeproof Jfasierq
Think of the darning they save, and the expense too, of buying Dew
now every wees or two. Uon t you think you ought to buy
Holeproof f Ak ui to show you tilt new colon sud various
grades, $1,50 to 3.00 I box.
J. E. STEWART & CO.
ffias'rfi'i.fr
t-ji.-.
New VELIE
Here
The new six is now , ,
beauty. It takes
duck take? to water
2,r00.00. We also
45 Uire power machine at
at $1,000. There are other c
Come and take a look and
Prineville Machine Shop
E. G. HODSON, Proprietor
V5:
Central Garage
Phone No. 20 Agents for
Chalmers and Detroiter Autos
All Kinds of Auto Repairing
Tires Vulcanized
Full Line of Auto Supplies
Special Prices on New and Second-Hand Autos
Huff-Maker Auto Co.
A FINE MESS
of Fish can be bought from us for little money. We get large
daily supplies from river, lake and ocean, so that we know the
fish is fresh and sweet. You can tave money by buying here,
get a greater variety of fish to select from, and be sure of the
highest quality. Aek your friends who deal here they will tell
you of the Fish satisfaction they have always had here.
City Meat Market
i
I
N
ii
here, and it is
to the hills like
The price is only
have a 4-cj linder
$2,150 and a 35-horee power
re on the market, but none better.
be convinced.
10-23
10-9
Fruit Trees!
Central Oregon Crown
Tbe only kind yon cn ffirl
to plunt. ILLUSTRATED
. .TALOCUE FREE. Write
for one. Prices low enough
to surprise you.
Laf ollette Nursery Co.
Prinwville, 8 6 - Oregon
Oh, Those Lovely New
Leather Mounts
Come see them. A variety of
new fall mounta. But your
cameras, films and r applies
from as and get free instruc
tion. .
Agent for Royal Typewriter,
"the best on earth." Come
try ours and be convinced.
LAFLERS STUDIO
We Strive to Please
it rr,r,rT,iMVT
Champ Smith. Proof
Imported and Domestic
Vlgaie
Famous Whiskies
Old Crow, Hermitage; Red
Top Rye; Yellow Stone;
Canadian Club; Cream
Rye; James E. Pepper,
Moore's Malt
Porter, Ale and Olympia
Draft Beer on Tap.
4 Imported Wines and
Liquors. P
The Oregon Bar
At the Old Stand
G.W. Wiley & Co., Prps
All kinds of Choice Liquors
Wines and Cigars.
Famous Ranier Beer in
Bottles and on Draft
Prineville
Steam
Laundry
JOHN BECAAS, Prop.
Dry Cleaning and Pressing
First-Class Hand Work
All Work Guaranteed
Second Door North of the
Ochoco Bridge
HAVE YOU
Filed your Deed? Of Course.
HAVE YOU
An Abstract?
Certainly everyone has an abstract now.
Do you know where your corners are.
Well, No, Not exactly.
Brewster Engineering Company,
Prineville, Oregon, wiil locate them for
you and guarantee the work. Survey
ing, Platting, Irrigation Engineering.
Phone Pioneer 204.