2HS AN AMATEUR , SANTA CLAUS 'I ' . ' -; , . By WG hnil all annul Hint Mr O'KIiuiibiipim was Hi Very W W oiid lu In- Kama Claus at our Christum tri. "No!" b wittl. "Nor We huil iii'H-r mhhi Mr. CBIiaugnra ay so vehement Ix'fur. "Thai la one llilnw I will never do uo, urn If thv our uf Huulu were ti CvniiiuiiHl It!" "WhyT" asked some ot fmin a ante dUluiKV. "lUxatine I played I lip pnrt one, ami 1 will uever do II tiuiiln I may aa well tell yuu about It. aiid thru you'll know Hint It la uf tin uw to buthur uir bunt It any more. "(in Christmas 1 wua broke. I wm hungry, and uiy feet were on the linittiul. I liml asked a thousand h. for aouiotliliiK to do. anything to "1 WAKT TU4T." do. mid fliinlly a tiniiiiiitor In a depart ment stuie mild, 'All rliilit; we'll umke a Siinlu Clnu out of you.' "I luld him I didn't fool much like Bnnta Cluiia Inside. "Oh, we'll Ox that nil right," he nld and hauded me a pillow. "So, with pillows and boots and glovoa and a fur rout outiilde and nothing ut all limlde, I tnrtt'd In to be Simla Cluua In the toy department While I was thinking about my wife n nd I ho two kkls at borne needing money, nml me with no atendy Job, and other things like that I heard one of the follows In the atore any to tin boas: " 'Sny, thnt St Nloholua of yours la about as jolly aa a hymn book. He reminds me of a funny aoiig entitled "Silver Threads Among the Gold. Why don't you throw blm out? " '1 will when I got time.' "I tried to liven up a little after bearing tills praise of my histrionic talent, but It wasn't much use. "l'retty soon I aaw a boy coming down the aisle like a wolf on the fold, lie was also seeking whom be tulght devour. He was followed by an anx ious looking nmid and a gentleman In a silk hut who waa an ludulgent mil lionaire futher. "The kid sauntered along tn au Inde pendent, bored way, swinging his arms kind of reckless, as If be whs In hopes of breaking something and relieving the monotony. "When ho enme up to whore I waa sitting be Btoppcd. tie had seen plen ty of toys, but I guess I was some thing now In the way of a St. Nlci oliis. "lie called bis duddy and pointed to uie. " '1 want thnt' ue said. " 'Oh, no, dcnrle." suld the mnld. 'Here, look nt this nice giraffe! 8ee! It does this!' "The kid shook the nurso off Irrita bly. " "Ue doesn't seem to tnke much In terest lu the giraffe,' I remnrked to the father. " 'No. nor anything else.' he answer ed lu a patient, weary tone. 'Be hns bnd all these toys before and he knows all about them. Inside and out. He bad ouo of these glruffes Inst year nd broke It open tu Bud out what V'lJjL-' "'' - - V""''"""" " "n HAMILTON POPE GALT Copyright, IRIS, ky Amsrlcan hm Association was lu It and be was mud when be found there ss nothing' " I mint thnt," suld the boy agulu. pointing to me. "'lie bus taken a fancy to you," con tinued thv pa. "'I cun t im Hint I have any ailvnn tnite oki the gtruffu.' I suld. "JusDtheu the boss of the atore came along. He whs Just busting bluiself for the millionaire. "'My boy wants your San til Claus," an Id tin gentleuiun to the uoks. "And the kid JuiukhI up and grab bed me by the bund and began pull ing at uie and Unlit Ing the muld off with the other bund. "'Welt.' said the boss, 'tnke him along, Mr. Van Vit-gle, It will be no loss whatever to us. I assure you." "Thin reiiiniitieiid seemed to sort of eurouriiite the millionaire. "'I will puy you for your time," he aid to tue. "As the little fellow was pulling my arm off I got up and went nlong He towed tue through the nlle against tide of ohii 111011111111 people We got Into a big red autotnohllo. and the mil lionaire said to the chauffeur, 'Home aa quirk aa possible, for goodness sake!' "Away we went, my white whiskers flying lu the wind, , "Pretty sisiti the millionaire snld to the chauffeur: 'Look here, you needn't dlsplny us any more thnu necessary. Kindly pick out some unlet streets.' "The kid was sitting next to me, holding my hand. "The chauffeur started to slow down In front of a mansion when the mil lionaire gave a shout: " 'Hold on!' he snld. 'Drive on quick! I forgot Mrs. Vnu Veegle has compa ny. We'll go around the back way.' "We were turning the corner to go around the other way when the mil lionaire shouted again suddenly, Turn around quirk!" "We were dodging eomebody or oth er that he knew. "I'iniilly we passed through a big gate, and the boy towed me around through a conservatory or two luto swell room. "The man swore. There were lot of ladles there still. They seemed to take great Interest In the pageant '"Well, what on earth!' screeched the millionaire's wife. "While the man was explaining to bis wife the boy led me around all over the house by the baud. He would not let go. "He had to have me sit beside him while he ite his dluner, nnd I had a "HE TOWED HE THROUGH THE AISLB." big, fat butler shoving my chnlr nround for me nnd waiting on me. I got some birds ami one thing aud another uuder my pillow aud my furs, but I was aw ful warm. "It was too wnrm for comfort when It got around that there was a real, live Snnta Clnus at the Van Veegle bouse. All the children came from all over the neighborhood to maul me. "But young Van kept a tight grip on , it f-"" ':-'' my band and fought Ibem off when ever they got too near. "When bedtime cume they tried to tell little Van that Punty wanted to go borne now and work on the toys for Christmas, but be held on tighter than ever and Insisted that I would have to sleep wltb dim. 'This miiile It pretty bad. If I was to pull off my boots sud my beard and my stomach and one thing and an other the boy would be paralyzed wltb TAXtKO SANTA TO SnillKHQAllTKS. fenr. they snld. and for me to turn In boots, heard, stomach nnd all with lit tle Van lu his little bed seemed utter ly Impossible. "We compromise! by my sitting by his bed nnd holding his hand until he went to sleep. Would you believe It! That boy wua tbe lightest leeer you ever saw! Every time 1 tried to take uiy hand away bis eyes would open and he would take a tighter grip. "I sat up all night holding that kid's hand. 1 bad a miiu lu attendance, who brought me everything 1 wanted, and I hud collected a ten from Pupa Van. but I dldu't get much sleep. "The boy bad me with him all the next day. 1 bud to be with him when ho got his tiatu aud his breakfast, aud 1 attended kindergarten with blm. "I was 'It' ut kindergarten, too, but along about 4 o'clock he lay down on a couch aud went sound asleep. "1 stole from tbe room softly and un observed. I bud hud enough of tbe Job and was resolved to escape. "Just as 1 was getting out of the front door a good sized boy came along and started to blub something about 'Hello, Santa Claus!' aud tried to grab hold of me. "I paralysed him by pulling out my stomach and blttiug blm over tbe bead wltb It "1 gained the street and flow for home, dodging this way and that to ballle pursuit aud shedding beard, boots, cotton and fur all along tbe way. "I bid for three days and then emerg ed and got a nice little Job loading conl on a abtp. 1 have always gone in for a sane Christmas ever since that little experience." We did not press Mr. O'Shaugnessy. Conosrnlng Christmai Presents. A mau niuy not be so badly off for presents if he only has presence of mind. The question of the hour Is, "What on earth shall we buy for a Christ mas present?" Never look a gift horse In the teeth. It is also wrong to look a Christmas present In the price mark. "What shall 1 give the hired girl?" Is a Christinas conundrum that puz zles some. , Give her taut week's pay and get another girl. The proprietor of a big hotel may love his patrons' children; but he nev er gives the youngsters drums or horns at Christmas. N. B.-Or any other day. b X. t-J- it 'i tvl " ST.'. l V"-. ?'-JSTk. The finest stockings the neatest socks And every pair guar anteed to wear for six months or new hose free. EVERY box of Hole proof contains a defi nite, printed guaran tee with a coupon fur each pair. Six pair of cotton Hole proof for men, women nd children are guaran teed to wear six months without a hole. , Three pain of iillc Hole proof fur men and women are guaranteed to wear three months without a hole. If any pair fail, send them back and the man- ufacturen will gladly and promptly tend you new pairs in exchange. Even the gauzy, summer weights are guaranteed. Yet, most people buy Holeproof for their style, perfect fit and fine appearance. Holeproof Jfasierq Think of the darning they save, and the expense too, of buying Dew now every wees or two. Uon t you think you ought to buy Holeproof f Ak ui to show you tilt new colon sud various grades, $1,50 to 3.00 I box. J. E. STEWART & CO. ffias'rfi'i.fr t-ji.-. New VELIE Here The new six is now , , beauty. It takes duck take? to water 2,r00.00. We also 45 Uire power machine at at $1,000. There are other c Come and take a look and Prineville Machine Shop E. G. HODSON, Proprietor V5: Central Garage Phone No. 20 Agents for Chalmers and Detroiter Autos All Kinds of Auto Repairing Tires Vulcanized Full Line of Auto Supplies Special Prices on New and Second-Hand Autos Huff-Maker Auto Co. A FINE MESS of Fish can be bought from us for little money. We get large daily supplies from river, lake and ocean, so that we know the fish is fresh and sweet. You can tave money by buying here, get a greater variety of fish to select from, and be sure of the highest quality. Aek your friends who deal here they will tell you of the Fish satisfaction they have always had here. City Meat Market i I N ii here, and it is to the hills like The price is only have a 4-cj linder $2,150 and a 35-horee power re on the market, but none better. be convinced. 10-23 10-9 Fruit Trees! Central Oregon Crown Tbe only kind yon cn ffirl to plunt. ILLUSTRATED . .TALOCUE FREE. Write for one. Prices low enough to surprise you. Laf ollette Nursery Co. Prinwville, 8 6 - Oregon Oh, Those Lovely New Leather Mounts Come see them. A variety of new fall mounta. But your cameras, films and r applies from as and get free instruc tion. . Agent for Royal Typewriter, "the best on earth." Come try ours and be convinced. LAFLERS STUDIO We Strive to Please it rr,r,rT,iMVT Champ Smith. Proof Imported and Domestic Vlgaie Famous Whiskies Old Crow, Hermitage; Red Top Rye; Yellow Stone; Canadian Club; Cream Rye; James E. Pepper, Moore's Malt Porter, Ale and Olympia Draft Beer on Tap. 4 Imported Wines and Liquors. P The Oregon Bar At the Old Stand G.W. Wiley & Co., Prps All kinds of Choice Liquors Wines and Cigars. Famous Ranier Beer in Bottles and on Draft Prineville Steam Laundry JOHN BECAAS, Prop. Dry Cleaning and Pressing First-Class Hand Work All Work Guaranteed Second Door North of the Ochoco Bridge HAVE YOU Filed your Deed? Of Course. HAVE YOU An Abstract? Certainly everyone has an abstract now. Do you know where your corners are. Well, No, Not exactly. Brewster Engineering Company, Prineville, Oregon, wiil locate them for you and guarantee the work. Survey ing, Platting, Irrigation Engineering. Phone Pioneer 204.